Lies of a Real Housewife (20 page)

my children, my mother, my grandmother, and family.

It became habitual for me to be waking up at five every morning. I would be showered, dressed, and clean my room by seven, in time for chow. Then I would go to the chow hall, and be back in my cell, waiting on the guards to do headcount. After headcount, I would report to my detail. I worked in laundry room, and probably washed and folded over two thousand uniforms per day. At three-thirty in the afternoon my detail was over. I would report for chow by five. Then after the second headcount conducted at six in the evening, I would be in my cell either reading or writing until I fell asleep.

At least that was the plan.

November 16, 2004, was a day that changed my life forever. I was

six months deep into serving my sentence. Then I had the most vivid and realistic dream about my mother the night before. In my dream I was standing at  the doorway of an apartment, watching my mother
walking up the sidewalk. She was carrying three buckets. Then she walked right past me and went inside the house. There were three aquariums sitting in the middle of the living room floor. I closely scrutinized my mother emptying the contents of the three buckets into one of the aquariums. My mother handed me a net. I watched through the glass as an assortment of tropical fish frantically swam

back and forth. They were trying to absorb their new environment.

One particular fish caught my attention. While observing this beau-

tiful creation my mother said,
“Take the net and separate the fish.”
I grabbed the net, and began reaching for the fish I had observed previously. The net wasn’t long enough to reach the bottom of the tank where the fish was swim-

ming.

I stuck my arm in the water right along with the net. Before I knew

it, a snake was swimming toward my hand. I tried pulling my arm out of the tank as fast as I could, but it was too late. The snake had sunk its teeth deep

into my skin, and then swam o
ff.

My mother examined the bite mark. Then she kissed the area of

impact, and like magic, it healed instantly. She looked at me and said,
“Angela!”
Once she was certain she had my undivided attention she continued,
“Honey, you had no business with your hand all the way in the tank. That’s why I gave you the net. If you hadn’t had your hand in the water he wouldn’t have been able to bite you. Therefore you have to come out from amongst thee and be ye separate.”
She then shook my head with her hands to make sure I understood.
“You have to come out from amongst thee and be ye separate.

That’s the only way you’re going to make it. You got it?”

“I got it ma,”
I replied. Then just like that she had disappeared.

I was instantly awoken from the dream, only to fall back asleep mo-

ments later. This time an angel awoke me. Lying on my back asleep, I felt the warmth of a mother’s touch rubbing my chest. I was awaken by the touch and encountered an angel floating on the right side of my bed. The angel was the

most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

She looked just like some kind of a fairy, except I could see right

through her. She was a purplish-blue color, and was glowing. The angel said to me,
“Angela honey, it’s time for you to wake up!”
I looked over at the clock and it was five a.m. It was the same time they woke us up every morning. I looked back for the angel, and she was gone. I was overcome with joy and a sense of peace that surpassed all understanding. This was my first encounter with a heavenly being. The whole ordeal confirmed that God was really in

my life!

Jumping out of bed, I had the entire room cleaned. I couldn’t wait

until they turned the phones on so that I could call my mother, and tell her about
my dream along with my encounter of such a pretty angel. I was so fascinated by the unknown. I always had been, but I wondered what the dream meant. After replaying it in my mind over and over again, I had kind of fig-

ured it out in my head.

My dream meant exactly what she had said, “Come out from

amongst thee and be ye separate.” It was time for me to step away from any-

thing, and everything negative.

I remember sitting in the dorm hall at a table with three other women

who were from my dorm. We were all enjoying a board game of ‘Life’. I was the pink car. Ever since I could remember, the pink car always had to be mine. It was my lucky car. Even as a little girl over at my Aunt San’s, playing with

my cousin’s Maurice, Man-Pan, and Jo-Jo, I always had
the pink car. 

If I couldn’t have the pink car I wouldn’t play. I wasn’t compromis-

ing, sorry. As we played the board game I imagined how my life would have been had I made different choices. Nobody ever went to prison in the board game. So really, losing the game was never an option. Everyone always won the game. Some just ended up with more money than others, but that was the

board game Life, not real life.

I was just about to spin the wheel when I heard my name being

called over the loud speaker.

“Angela Stanton report to the Chaplain’s office…”

I was glad that my name had been called. This would give me a

chance to get out of the dorm and enjoy some well deserved fresh air. Then one of the women playing the board game with me said, “No Angela! You don’t want to go to the Chaplain’s office! Anytime they call you to the Chaplain’s office it’s always bad news!” I stared at her, and immediately the dream popped to the surface of my mind. Then I thought about the angel, and what

she had said to me.
“It’s time to wake up!”

Instead of going to the Chaplain’s office, I ran to the pay phone. I

called my grandmothe
r’s home collect, and I could hear the despair in their voices as they accepted my call on the other end. I already knew that my mother was gone. I didn’t even need to ask the question. My cousin, Donna, tried to tell me what I already knew, but she was too emotional, and could

hardly speak. She just held the phone silently as I screamed for my mother.

“Donna please let me speak to my mother!” I said, after getting no

response from her. The phone remained silent, but on the other end of the line, I could
hear my grandmother crying through the phone. She was mourn-

ing for her baby.

“Donna… Do-o-o-n-n-n-n-a-a-a! Pl-e-e-e-a-a-a-s-s-e-e-e! Donna!

Please let me talk to my mother!” In two simple words she replied, “I can’t!”

When I regained consciousness, I was in the infirmary. My feet,

knees, chest, and my wrists were bound. I kept trying to fall back asleep
.
“Please GOD! GOD pl-e-e-e-a-a-a-s-s-s-e! Please father NO! No-o-o-o-o-o! I want my mommy. My mo-m-m-y! OH GOD… NO!” My heart and soul

pleaded, to n
o avail.

Every time I woke up, I wept uncontrollably until I cried myself

back to sleep. I refused to eat, and drink. I just wanted to lie there! Lie there and die! My hopes were dashed. Life as I knew it was over. In the middle of the night during a deep sleep, I awoke to the feeling of breath in my ear, and I heard my mother’s voice!
“Angela I’m with you! Angela I will never leave

you! Angela I love you!”

I jumped up. Well, I tried to jump up. I was further confined in re-

straining belts and chains, but I opened my eyes to the sound of her voice. She was nowhere to be seen. I never imagined that my mother would die while I was in prison. I was filled with the guilt of all my misdeeds. At this point it seemed as if everything was my fault. Had I been there for her, maybe things would have worked out differently. Why couldn’t I be there for her

now when she needed me the most...?

My mother was fifty-five years old when she lost her life to a mas-

sive heart attack. It fell on
me like a ton of bricks. At twenty-seven years old, I was crushed by the weight of losing the only friend I had ever had. Lying on my back, I was feeling powerless by the thought that I couldn’t be there for my mother. I couldn’t be there for my children. Four concrete walls surrounded me and seemed to close in faster in more ways than I could ever have imagined. There was no one there to comfort me. I wasn’t surrounded by any family member. I was totally and completely alone in a very cold, dark place. There was no light and no help came from anywhere. It was then that I felt God had finally forsaken me.

I was in the infirmary for three days, doped-up under medication. Whenever I came down from my high, I was forced to deal with the pain of losing my mothe
r. I cringed in the face of my reality, and could have stayed doped up forever, but I knew I was dying in that place. Every time I thought of any type of food, it would cause me sickness. All I could think of was my mother lying dead in the city morgue. Naked, her body would be stretched out on some cold, metal table. She was gone from my physical world and I

could no longer communicate with my best friend.

Her flesh would rot, and the thought of her never being able to eat

again made me sick. The problem was that there was no food inside my stomach for me to regurgitate. It proved to be a painful experience every time I went through a vomiting spell. I had cried so much, the salt from my tears burned my cheeks. I actually had scars on each side of my face left behind

by my tears of pain.

My brother tried desperately to have me transported from the prison

to my mother’s funeral. When this didn’t work, he had no choice, but to call Phaedra. This time she actually came throug
h. At the time of my mother’s death, my brother was committed to a professional basketball contract. He was drafted overseas, and had been playing in Italy since graduating from college. Lee had to make it home from Italy, bury our mother, and return overseas. This was a trying time for the both of us. She really was all we ever

had.

There was a problem getting me transported to the funeral. Fulton County was under scrutiny because of the Brian Nichols case which had happened earlier the same year. He was the prisoner who had escaped while being transported. He had murdered a Judge, a court clerk, a deputy and a civilian. As a result, Phaedra was unable to get anyone from Atlanta to do a prisoner transport. After a couple of days, I was finally informed that my brother paid Gwinnett County to transport me. Phaedra knew a sheriff there