Lie to Me (33 page)

Casey kept kneading his leg, but her hand shook and he felt terrible to have put her through so much. His body craved alcohol, but his heart and soul desperately wanted Casey, and he couldn’t have both. Did he really want to live without the love of his life, like his father had been forced to do? He felt a headache starting at his temple.

“You know, Damian,” Michael said, his words sharp, “most people can drink. It’s not fair, but it’s true.” He leveled a powerful silver-gray stare on him. “If you drink, you’ll die.

And, even if that doesn’t bother you, the rest of us will never recover.”

He tried to close his ears as Casey broke into sobs as if her heart had broken.

“Don’t cry,” he said, feeling helpless, but she wouldn’t stop. “Please don’t.”

She wiped her eyes and avoided his gaze.

Damian glanced at the beer can on the coffee table. It beckoned to him, like the Devil himself. He felt his breathing deepening, pictured the damn can popping open and jumping into his hand, pictured chugging it down. It would be so easy.
Too easy.
And then what?

“No.” He turned his head and spoke between clenched teeth. Stiffening, balling his fists, he resisted. It wasn’t easy. “Damnit, I’ll go to AA meetings every night until I’m on stable ground, but—I won’t. I won’t drink that damn beer.” He let out a guttural noise that sounded like a growl. Hell, he was growling. What had he been thinking? As he body tensed until it shook, he kept his gaze from the vile poison. “
I’m not going to do this again! I refuse! I won’t let the damn fuckin’ alcohol destroy me.
” As soon as the anguished words had erupted and died he swung his gaze toward Casey.

Casey’s liquid stare spread warmth and relief inside of him. She tried to smile, but failed and pressed her hand over her mouth. A muffled sound from her throat said more than words. She was proud of him. And relieved for him. He felt one side of his mouth quirking upward. Tears filmed her eyes; she wiped them right away, and grabbed his hand in both of hers. He felt her soothing, warm touch to his bones. Casey’s soulful eyes caressed him and he realized that nothing had changed. Her feelings for him were the same, and she’d always love him. It was a gift he didn’t understand, but cherished with all his heart.

“You don’t blame me for getting shot?” he asked her, his throat working hard as he eyed her bandage and sling.

“No. Just for trying to get rid of me. Again.”

He needed to be close to her. With him on one end of the sofa and her on the other, his legs in her lap, he couldn’t do it. “Alex, Dad,” he said, certain he colored a little as they looked at him.
Screw it.
He’d swallow his embarrassment at needing help. “I’d like to sit beside Casey, but both of us are wounded—” He felt a reluctant grin spreading across his face as he eyed his twin. “Can you help move my legs to the coffee table so she can slide next to me?” He quickly shot a look at her. “That’s if she’d like to be near me, after the shit I’ve pulled.” He felt the heat of his own stare and felt the hotness of hers in return.

“I’d like that very much,” she said, smiling softly at him.

Alex looked at Michael. “Should we hurt him for being such an ass?” He cocked an eyebrow at his father.

Michael laughed. “Not
this
time,” he said, in a dry voice. “If he tries getting rid of Casey one more time, then we can think about it.”

“Do your worst,” Damian said, then laughed himself.

Damian bit his lip as Alex and Michael gently moved his legs to the coffee table. The minor amount of pain was worth it when Casey slid into him and threw her arm across his chest, letting her hair flow around him as she laid her flower-scented head upon his shoulder. Her hand curled around his bicep and she clutched him tightly. “I was so afraid to do this, Damian…so afraid I’d lose you forever.”

He turned to her so that her perfectly shaped mouth was close enough to kiss. Her mint-scented, heated breath tickled his chin and he smiled at her, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Only Casey could reduce him to mush. “I couldn’t throw my life away, when part of that life could include you. And our son.”

She ran a finger from his temple to his chin. In a slightly amused voice, which surprised him, she said, “You’re a hard man to love, Mr. Ballantine, but I can’t help it.”

He further melted inside; turned to butter, as his hands tangled in her long hair. It felt like homespun silk. His loins swelled as her luscious curves pressed against his side. He slipped an arm around her shoulders, as he rested his cheek atop her soft head.

“You feel so good,” he murmured. He sniffed in the sweet womanly scent surrounding her. As he basked in her essence, he slanted a look at Alex. “Put the beers away. I got the message. Jerk.”

Alex grinned, collected Casey’s beer, picked his off the coffee table, then headed toward the kitchen. “I’m glad you made the choice you did.”

“Me too,” Michael said. “Honestly, when Alex told me what he’d planned, it worried me.”

Damian smirked at him. “He wouldn’t have let me drink it. Would’ve knocked me out first.”

“It was so much better that he didn’t have to stop you.”

Damian wrapped his arms around Casey, mindful of her shoulder, and suddenly the alcohol seemed trite next to the woman he loved. Michael watched and smiled at them.

“I don’t ever want to go to that dark place again,” he said, his gaze on Casey. He kissed the tip of her nose. “Every place without you is dark.” He really wished to be alone with her. “Alex, Dad, don’t you both have to go somewhere?” he asked, never moving his gaze from Casey’s.

“Oh! Sure,” Alex said. He coughed once. “Dad, want to go out for breakfast?”

“I’m starving,” Michael said, amusement in his voice.

After the two of them left, Damian lifted Casey onto his lap and angled her down against his arm, supporting her head. She gazed at him and her closed lips smiled. His eyes once again fell on her bandage. He ran his finger gently down her injured arm. “I’m glad I came to my senses. You’re everything to me. I need you, Casey. Hell, I don’t even exist without you; you’re my oxygen.” He bent his head and kissed her, and, as his body roused, he reached for the top button of her blouse. He was ready to forget his sore leg, be careful not to hurt her shoulder, and make passionate love to her. His leg felt ten times better since she’d been stroking it. His breath quickened as he undid that first button and he saw the beginning of her cleavage.

She pulled back. “Wait!”

Flinching, he stared at her. Seeing pain in her eyes he asked, “Did I hurt you? Did I accidentally move your shoulder—”

“It’s not that.”

So it was mental pain. He felt a heaviness settling in his chest. “You don’t want me to kiss you?”

She laughed in a sad way. “No. I do. Too much.”

His cock swelled. “I think I can arrange that. I missed you so much—”

“Damian!”

He sobered. “What is it, babe?”

“We have to talk before we do anything. This isn’t the time to muddle things by making love.”

Damian felt as if a bucket of cold water had struck him, but he should have known it wouldn’t be so easy. Reluctantly, he lifted her straight up and placed her warm feminine curves against his chest. As he stroked the soft velvet skin of her bare arm, she stiffened.

“All right, babe.” He lightened his tone, trying to loosen her up again. “Let’s talk fast, so we can make love sooner—”

“We need to straighten everything out. Once and for all.” She met his eyes with boldness. “I’m not just going to jump back into this relationship, as much as I want to, until I’m sure that the crap won’t happen again. You didn’t let me see you in the hospital. Again.”

Reality fell on his shoulders like heavy bricks and he pulled to a sit in his lap. “I never want to hurt you, but I keep on doing it.” He spoke over her head, thinking about all the wrong he’d done to her while thinking it had been right. How screwed up his thinking had been. “It’s different this time.
Really
different.” His voice burst with unexpected emotion. “Babe, I’ve come to two conclusions. One, I want you in my life. Two, I’ll lose you if I shut you out again, even if I think it’s for your own good.” He pressed her cheek against him and kissed her ear. “I swear I won’t drive you away.” He pushed himself back against the cushions so he could stare into her eyes. “I’ll let you hang around, even if I think it’s for your own good.”

“Before you do anything for my good, ask me if that’s what I want. I like involvement in decisions about myself. Only I know what’s best for me. Do you understand?”

He did. From the bottom of his heart, he did.

“I can take care of myself.”

“I know.” God, how he loved her.

“Let me decide then.”

“From now on, I swear it’ll be that way. I can’t prove it now. The only way I can is—if you’ll stay with me and see for yourself.” He held his breath.

She pressed her lips together, and suddenly one side of her mouth twitched upwards, filling him with hope. “At least this time you didn’t plan on leaving town without talking to me and Miles.”

“No.” His heart banged so hard that he wondered if it would burst out of his chest. Love filtered through him, everywhere. “Sam told me everything that you did. Reese had her gun pointed at me and you taunted her into shooting at you. Case, that was foolish. I’d rather she’d have killed me than you. Do you think I could live if you didn’t?”

“I couldn’t let her kill you.” Suddenly, tears filled her eyes and she had to wipe them away. “Hate that,” she mumbled.

Damian cradled her like a baby and rocked her in his arms, back and forth, back and forth. “Shhhhhhh, darling. Please. Everything’s all right. I’m alive.”

She laughed through her tears. “You’re alive in spite of yourself. I intend on keeping you that way.”

He grinned. “You and Miles are a powerful motivation to live a sedate and boring life.”

Casey laughed up at him. “That sounds wonderful, Damian. I think I’ve had enough of living on the edge.”

“Me too.” He jostled her, playfully. “You really had
bad
luck when the Fates drew your cards. Unfortunately for you, I think we were meant to be together.”

“We were. Knowing this,” Casey said, holding him tighter, “don’t you think it’s time to give—”

“As long as you remember, I could still fall—”

“And you can pick yourself up again. Look at what you did today.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s not written in the stars that I’ll drink again.” For the first time, he really believed that it might not happen. He could feel himself casting her an adoring look. “I need you a hell of a lot more than I need that poison in my system, ruining my life, ruining us… Case, I need you to live. You’re my oxygen, babe.”

Casey broke into a smile.

“It’s getting a little hard to breathe. Can you help me out?” He lowered his head to kiss her, his loins screaming. The hell with his sore leg. All he wanted to do was remove her clothes, ravish her, pleasure her, bring her to paradise as they became one…when his lips touched hers, his loins almost burst, and he tried to drink her up while she tasted him thirstily, in return…

A loud knock on the door startled them both and the two of them pulled apart, groaning.

“Daddy, let me in! I want to see you!” a childish, excited voice called from the other side of the door.

“I have a key, Miles. We’ll get in.”

“Miles and Sam,” Casey said, and she scrambled to get off his lap.

Sam shoved the door open and lingered in the entrance, a shit-eating grin on his face, obviously noticing their mussed hair.

Miles ran toward them with thundering steps. He jumped on Damian’s lap, adding new punishment to his leg, but Damian refused to even wince. The ten year old grabbed him around the neck and buried his face into his shoulder. “Daddy, are you all right? Why couldn’t I see you? Did you get hurt? Will you please stay here? Please don’t leave me!”

Damian felt a lump in his throat as he hugged his son. He found Casey’s gaze and they shared a look of deep understanding. Then Damian inhaled deeply and kissed Miles on top of his unruly blond head. “I’m fine, sport. I was sleeping in the hospital so I wouldn’t have been very good company for you, but I’m here for you now.”

“Sleeping for over a week?”

He didn’t want to lie to his son. “No. But even after I woke up, I was really grumpy. I didn’t want you to see me in a bad mood.”

Miles was in tears as he gripped him even tighter. “Stay here. Stay.”

Damian locked eyes with Casey again. Swallowing hard, he put one arm around Casey and pressed her to him while still holding Miles. “I’ll go anywhere you want me to, son. I’d go to the moon if you asked. Same with your mom,” He meant his words. So much emotion had swelled inside of him. This degree of warmth and love was scary. That meant he had so much to lose. But he’d never walk away from them again or give Casey any reason to walk away from him. This would begin their
real
happily ever after.

Twirling Casey’s hair around his fingers, he stared at her. “Case,” he said, with deliberate nonchalance. “We eloped last time. I think we should have a family wedding this time. If all goes as well as I expect it to, one year from today.”