Licked (L.A. Liaisons Book 1) (29 page)

“Uh, no. Actually, I’m pretty sure he’s going to arrest me after this. But I couldn’t let you leave without telling you everything I wanted to say but was too scared to
actually
say when I had the chance, so here goes.”
 

I took a deep breath and smoothed my hands down my skirt before looking him in the eye. And suddenly, I didn’t feel nervous anymore. I knew those eyes. I knew every line of his face, the way he felt under my hands, and the way he tasted on my lips. The way he looked at me was the way no one had ever looked at me in my life. People always say when you know, you know, and though I’d never understood how that could possibly be true, it all made sense now. Nothing would ever be as right as it was with the man in front of me by my side, and that knowledge was all the courage I needed to speak freely.
 

I paused to take another deep breath. “The first thing I owe you is an apology. I made a
huge
lapse in judgment thinking it was no big deal to follow you. It was wrong, I knew better, and I hurt you. But I’m sorry. I’m not perfect, and I made a mistake. I didn’t mean to break your trust, and I can only promise I won’t do it again. I was just…” As he watched me with those penetrating eyes, I dropped my shoulders and gave him a sad smile. “I guess I was just desperate to know you.”

“Ryleigh—” he said.

“That’s not an excuse, I know. I’m not making one. It’s just…well, I saw the picture you put up and I thought that meant maybe you…”

Maybe you wanted to be with me.

“Maybe I what?” he asked, letting go of his carry-on and crossing his arms over his chest. When my eyes took in the defensive posture, I panicked, feeling an irrational surge of anger at him for just leaving without so much as a goodbye.

“Look,” I said, “you can’t just leave that picture of us up in my bar and expect to sneak off to Chicago and forget about me while I have to look at it every single day. How is that fair? It’s not, so fuck you for that.”

A cough came from behind me and I looked over my shoulder to see the security guard shaking his head. “If this is your idea of stopping him from getting on that plane, lady, you might want to rethink it.”
 

“Thank you, I wasn’t done yet,” I said, facing Hunter again. There was a sparkle of amusement in his eyes as he waited patiently for me to continue.
 

“And you have your business here, you have…you know, you have Abby. You can’t leave Cameron, he would probably forget to feed the fish in the coffee table, so you could get charged with homicide.”

Hunter’s lips twisted. “So you’re telling me I should stay to save the fish?”

 
“No. Well, yes. I mean, fish are important too, but… Fuck, sorry, I know none of this is coming out right.”
Come on, Ryleigh, get it out.
“The thing is—”

The loudspeaker came on, drowning out my words, so I waited until it was finished to speak again.

“From the moment I met you, I haven’t been able to take my eyes off you. And I wanted to, trust me, I wanted to. I thought you were this arrogant guy who could date any woman he wanted to and probably did. And I had been so caught up in looking in the wrong direction that I failed to see you at first. Really see you, the way you saw me. The way I hope you still do. Still will.”

 
“Ryleigh—”

“No, let me finish. I want you. Here. With me. To give us another shot, because I really think we’ve got something amazing. More than amazing…life-changing. When I looked around the After Dark today, all I could think was that this has all been beyond anything I thought was possible. You made my dream come true, and I’m not sure I could ever thank you enough for that.” As he opened his mouth to respond, I held up my hand. “But my dream wasn’t just the After Dark. Or Licked. Or the show. My biggest dream was you.”

His mouth parted as I continued.

“So you see, you can’t get on that plane. This can’t be the end.”
 

“Ryleigh…” he said finally, and then stopped as the announcer came over the loudspeaker again, rattling off boarding cutoff times. “Shit.” His eyes were full of regret as they met mine. “Ryleigh…that’s my flight.”

“DON’T GET ON the plane,” I said, taking a step toward him. “Please. Just…think about it. Think about us.”
 

He looked down at the ground, his hand running through his hair. I didn’t breathe while I waited. At least not until a family of four shoved by, their suitcases knocking into me as they rushed past. They were probably running to the same gate he should’ve been running to. Watching them go, I half joked, “Okay, you might have to think a little faster.”

He looked up at me then, one side of his mouth tipped up in the smallest hint of a smile. Then it fell.
 

“What about the show?” he asked.

Oh, right.
The show. The one I’d walked out on. That was gonna be a disaster. “I’m sure they got what they needed and we’ll see how it goes.”

Shaking his head slowly, he said, “I can’t believe you came all the way down here for me.”
 

Thump…thump.
My heart was pounding, and I could only nod.
 

“You’re fucking crazy, you know that?” he said.

“Sometimes.”

The final call for his flight sounded over the intercom, and the security guard stepped up next to me.
 

“If that’s your flight, you’re about to miss it,” he said to Hunter.
 

Thump…thump…thump…

Hunter let out a heavy sigh and stepped forward to cup my face in his hands.
 

Yes…yes,
he was going to kiss me and then we’d make up for all the lost time…

I closed my eyes and tilted my head up as his face drew closer, and then I felt the warmth of his lips against my forehead.

“I’m sorry,” he said, against my skin. Then he kissed my head, but not in the way you would with a lover. It was too platonic, too much like a goodbye kiss. When he pulled away, he whispered, “I have to go.”

As he backed away, my fingers lost their hold on his shirt, and then he grabbed the handle of his carry-on and headed straight for the escalator without looking back.
 

He’s leaving. He’s really leaving. And there’s not a thing I can do.

I felt numb as I watched him, like it wasn’t really happening and he’d turn back and tell me he was joking any minute.
 

Had I been that horrible? Had it been too much to overcome? I didn’t believe that, and I didn’t believe he was walking away. But there he was, slipping further out of my grasp. As he reached the top of the escalator, he looked briefly over his shoulder, his eyes landing on mine, and I wished I could say there was regret there, but he was too far away.
 

It was over.

THE STREETLIGHT FLICKERED above, nightfall already a dark blanket across the sky as I climbed out of Quinn’s car. The drive back home had been a silent one. There had been no need for more words, but Paige had kept a firm grip on my hand, the only show of support I could handle right now.
 

Knowing I needed to be alone, they’d let me out without a fight, without following me around and making sure I was okay. That’s what the people do who truly know and love you—give you space when you need it.
 

I took out my keys, unlocked the door that led to Licked, and went inside. There was no trace of anyone having been there; the tables and chairs were back in order, the lights turned off.
 

It was quiet, so quiet.
 

Walking over to the jukebox, I flipped through the songs until I found the ones I wanted and then pressed the buttons to keep a steady stream going.
 

As the sounds of Ella Fitzgerald filled the space, I crossed through to the After Dark. It, too, was back to normal. For what had taken hours to set up, the lights and cameras had been packed up and moved out quickly. I flipped on the switch for the bar, the pink lighting up and casting a glow around the room. Mindlessly running my hand down the length of the bar top, I let my eyes roam around the small details and touches Hunter had put into every inch of the space. Would I ever be able to come in here and not think of him? Would I want to?

Sighing, I let my hand drop and sang along softly to the song playing as I crossed over to the picture I didn’t need to look at, but I couldn’t help it. It hadn’t meant a thing to him. It was just another picture, just another piece of his job. But it had meant something to me. And even if he wasn’t mine any longer, he
was
the reason I had this beautiful space to call my own.
 

The jingle of the front door to Licked alerted me to someone entering the shop.
 

“We’re closed,” I called out, belatedly remembering I didn’t lock the door when I’d come inside.
 

A figure in the shadows stepped toward the entry to the After Dark, and as his body filled the doorway, I didn’t need to see his face to feel who he was.

 
“That’s too bad,” Hunter said, coming into the room. “I was hoping you still had your Jackass Special available.”

The burn of tears blurred my vision as my heart caught in my throat.
How is he… What is he… Is he really here?

“Sorry,” I said when I could speak. “All sold out of Jackass today.”

He circled around to my left and I pivoted my body to face him. “What about… What’s the one you recommended? Wanker, was it?”

“Out of those too.”

“Maybe I’ll just try an On My Knees and Begging Forgiveness Sundae today.”

As a tear escaped, I wiped my face with the back of my hand. “I’m not familiar with that one.”

“No? See, first you start off with a scoop of I Don’t Know What The Fuck I Was Thinking. Then you pile on the Really Stupid Decisions, and you end with some pretty epic Begging scoops.”

“Sounds like one of the Magnum bowls,” I said, cracking a smile before letting it fall. “What are you doing here, Hunter?”

“I couldn’t let you get the last word.” He stopped and turned his ear toward the jukebox. “Do you always listen to sad songs in the dark?”

I shook my head slowly. “No. And this isn’t a sad song. It’s about hope.”

“Really,” he said, facing me again. “She sounds sad.”

“Can’t you be both?”

He blew out a breath, his hand in his hair. “Ryleigh… It’s been…a really long time since I’ve been here. Opening up to someone, showing them who I am. Which is crazy, because that’s what attracted me to you. You are who you are. You don’t wear your baggage. You own it. Completely. I can’t say the same for me, and I know I’ve fucked this up badly. I should never have left that night without us getting everything out in the open, and I should’ve crawled back to you every day since. I didn’t know how to deal with my past. How to explain about Abby without telling you all that heavy shit that I just wasn’t ready for you to have to handle too.”

He took a step closer, his eyes on mine. “But that was selfish. Because if there’s anything you’ve taught me, it’s that when you love someone, you love all of them, and not just the parts they want you to see. You have to embrace the ugly parts. The parts that are hard, that are scared. The ones that are awkward and don’t fit in.”

Stopping in front of me, he said, “I’m sorry,” and I could feel the truth of his words in my bones. “I’m so sorry. It scares me to want you as much as I do, because you could hurt me. Break me. And I’ve been broken before.” He stopped and rubbed his forehead. “But that’s not a good enough reason to stay away from you. And I don’t want to.”

I swallowed hard, unable to speak, but memorizing everything he said. He wanted to be with me. He was scared. He was sorry.
 

“Please tell me I’m not too late—” he said, but before he could get the words completely out, I threw my arms around his neck. Caught off guard, he hesitated for only a second before wrapping me in his strong embrace.
 

The feel of him against me had my body sighing, filling a hole in me that had been left gaping in his absence.