License to Shift (6 page)

At least the pieces now fell into place. The mood swings between Neanderthal and über-logical. The casual disregard of the normal rhythms of life. If she thought she was going to die in a few months, she sure as hell would sleep whenever she felt like it, day or night. She'd drink whatever coffee she wanted and answer the door naked. Who the hell cared?

God, he was dying? The very idea made her tear up. He couldn't be. He was too alive.

“Don't cry,” he whispered. “Not for me.”

“Why not for you?” she asked.

She met his gaze in the mirror and tried to blink away the blurred vision. His eyes looked sad and hungry all at once. His hands tightened on her hips.

“Please don't cry,” he said. “You're too beautiful to cry.”

The way he said it made her heart ache. He really thought her big bones and huge boobs were beautiful, not to mention her belly. She took a deep breath and tried to gain control. Not only of her emotions, but of where they stood in the bathroom and what he was doing. He was holding her pressed against the sink, stopping her from touching him while he all but laid himself along her back.

“Mark,” she said as she straightened up. “Mark, step back.”

He didn't want to. She saw it in his eyes. But he pulled himself back from her, and she used the space to turn around. To face him. To look into his eyes and feel everything she'd been fighting.

“Mark…” she whispered, wishing she knew the right words to say. His gaze caught and held on her mouth, but he kept his body away. And then she knew it wasn't words he needed. And though her mind screamed warning alarms, the rest of her just went with the emotions churning within her.

“This disease you have. Is it…contagious?”

He shook his head. “You can't catch it. I wouldn't endanger you that way.”

“Is there any way at all for me to catch it? Like, is it AIDS or something like that?”

His lips twisted into a wry smile. “I'd never endanger you that way,” he repeated. “There is nothing we could do that would make you sick.”

She nodded, smiling slowly. “I'm still making you use a condom.”

He nodded, clearly not processing what she'd just said. Then a second later, his eyes abruptly widened. His body jolted then stilled into wariness. “I—Julie—”

“You weren't the only one thinking about that time when we were teens. I spent the last night dreaming about making love with you.” She cast her voice light as a way to hide the intensity of the emotions she felt. “I figure if you're horny and I'm horny, we might as well—”

“Pity fuck?”

Her chin jerked up. “Not on my end. Is that what it would take for you to want me?”

Again the blink, but this time he pulled back. “What? Jesus, no! God, I've wanted you since I was sixteen.”

Well, that couldn't possibly be true. Otherwise, he wouldn't have disappeared back then. He must have read the doubt on her face because his hands tightened into fists.

“I told you I was an idiot. I ran off because I freaked out. You were too much. I wanted so much. I was afraid for us both, and so I ran. And I kept running for six weeks.”

She frowned. “What?”

“I stayed in the woods for six weeks starting from that night on. By the time I calmed down…by the time I got back to me, you'd already left.”

She couldn't fathom it. “Six weeks? No way.”

He dipped his chin. A quick jerk down and to the side. He was embarrassed. So she touched his cheek, bringing his gaze back up to hers.

“I never know if you mean what you say. Six weeks in the woods?”

He shrugged. “Call me the original mountain man.”

“Because you freaked out.”

“Yup.”

“I don't know whether to be flattered or pissed that my naked body could freak someone out for six weeks.” A month and a half. Because of what they'd done together? Which hadn't even been the full deed. Sure, she'd gotten off—multiple times because he gave the best oral sex she'd ever had. But when it had come time for more—for him—he'd gotten all weird and run off. “Tell it to me one more time. You freaked out why? And disappeared for how long? No bullshit.”

He took a deep breath. “I wanted you so bad, Julie. I knew if we did…
it
, I'd never stop. I'd change and I'd be…” He rubbed his hand over his face. “Just trust me on this. You were here for the summer and no more. There were things you don't know about me. I just couldn't control it around you, so I ran. It's hard at that age not to…you know…hurt a girl.”

She searched his face, reading the truth in his expression. She'd thought he'd run off because he couldn't face being with her that way. He was saying it was because the feelings were too intense. That he had wanted her too much. That was so…so…
wonderful
. Adolescent love is so pure and passionate. She'd always missed having a teen love like in books where the need was all encompassing. Sure, she'd felt that for him, but she had no idea about him. Or rather, when he'd disappeared, she figured he didn't feel the same.

What if she'd gotten it all wrong?

She stroked her hand up his jaw, a slow caress over clenched muscle and bone. “So we both got confused back then. Care to try again?”

He looked at her, need hot in his eyes, but his body remained still. “I can't promise anything, Julie. I'm not going to last much longer.”

She swallowed away the lump in her throat. “I can't promise anything, either. I'm just here because of my father. I have a life in Chicago. Just got a good raise.”

“Congratulations.”

“Thanks.” She stepped closer to him. Then she dared press a light kiss to his lips. He clung to her, pressing against her, but not taking over. And certainly not devouring her the way she remembered from when she was sixteen. So she pulled back. “Mark, I'm an adult and I don't do this ever. But I know I want to. Let's fix what we broke years ago. Let's do it right, okay?”

He nodded, a quick jerk of his head. “Okay.”

She smiled. “So—”

She didn't get more words out. He picked her up, swinging an arm beneath her knees. He was so amazingly strong.

She squeaked in alarm and threw her arms around his shoulders while everything inside her went liquid with pleasure. To be held like this—so easily—and carried straight to her bed was like all her romantic and erotic fantasies coming true. Then he set her down gently without strain. And while she sank into the mattress, he came down over her. She lifted her face to his while his eyes roved over her. So intense. So hungry.

“Mark…” she murmured, gently stroking her finger across his mouth.

He licked her finger, a long curl of his tongue before sucking her inside. Meanwhile, his hands began to move, rolling up her waist onto her breasts. He held her in both hands and pinched her nipples. Even through her bra, she could feel the sharp bite of it, and she gasped in pleasure.

“God, yes,” she whispered. “Do that again.”

He paused a moment, then abruptly grabbed her tee, lifting it off her in one quick pull. A moment later, he'd unhooked her bra and set her free.

“God, yes,” he echoed as he looked at her breasts. Then he grinned. “I'm going to do that a lot.”

S
ometimes the stars align, the fates are kind, and everything is exactly as it ought to be. Mark looked at Julie's body and knew that God had given him a precious gift. If he didn't take it with joy and gratitude, then he was a damned fool.

She had said yes. He hadn't even truly asked, but she had said yes, and so he'd carried her to bed. And now she sat before him with her glorious breasts pink and perfect in front of him. He could hardly breathe for that sight. But as he looked, she flushed hot and tried to pull in to herself. She curved her spine away from him, and her eyes canted down and away. He'd seen this reaction before, knew it for the idiocy it was, and he'd be damned if he let the most beautiful woman be awkward about who and what she was.

“Mark,” she murmured. “I know I haven't exactly got a runway model figure—”

“Stop,” he said. Then he closed his eyes, inhaling her arousal but also the acrid bite of shame. Not of what they were doing, but of her own body. “From the moment I noticed girls, I thought I was weird because I hate delicate or thin.”

“What?”

He opened his eyes, then he pressed a tender kiss to her cheek. But this close to her, he had to lick her as well. And so he tasted her lightly, nibbling along her jaw while her breath stuttered hot and moist against his skin. “I liked curves.” Actually, he
loved
them. “Size and strength are beyond attractive to me.”

She bit her lip. “Strength?”

He pulled back enough to set his hands on her shoulders. “Strength,” he repeated as he gripped her. “I'm not going to hurt you if I get enthusiastic.” He grinned. “And I am extremely enthusiastic.”

Her expression softened into gratitude, and that pissed him off. Damn it, he didn't want her to be thankful that he liked her. He wanted her to understand that her body was amazing. To know core deep how beautiful she was.

“Strength,” he repeated as he squeezed her frame. “And curves.” His voiced dropped into a low, growling purr as he looked at her breasts. They were large and flushed, her nipples dark and tight. He shifted his hands again, glorying in the weight of them, the sheer size. Oh, the things he was going to do with this much flesh. He pushed them together and groaned at the sight of all that cleavage. He wanted to bury himself there between her lush mounds. And he was going to lick, suck, and nip every sweet inch.

He gently took hold of her arms and pushed them above her head until she could grip the headboard. “Don't move,” he said. “If you can resist.”

“Why not?”

“Because I want to enjoy this.” He looked into her eyes. “I want you to know I love this.”

He leaned down, taking the time to smell her skin. She had an artificial lemony scent to her that was probably shampoo or soap. But this close, he could smell the orangey citrus that came from her and the tangy spice of her arousal. He scraped his teeth across her flesh, tasting salt and sweet in equal measures.

His hands shaped her, and he adored how she overflowed even his massive palms.

The dark berries of her nipples called to him, so he tasted them next. They were large enough to tease with tongue and teeth, and she squirmed. Her back arched and her breath came in short, tight gasps he nipped her. But she groaned in hunger when he sucked. And best of all, her scent grew stronger each time he fondled her breasts.

It was amazing, and he could have stayed there for hours. But another scent drew him downward. Pepper and spice and everything nice. He managed her shorts with ease, pulling them off her while she twisted toward the bathroom.

“Condom,” she gasped. “My toiletry bag.”

He didn't like thinking of why she was prepared, but didn't have a reason to object. It's not like he could protect her in this way, not with his bear clamoring to impregnate her.

Rather than give voice to his feelings, he spread her legs to look at her glistening center. “In a minute,” he growled against her thigh.

“Don't for— Ooooh!” Her exhale was low and lusty, and he grinned as his fingers slid in and through her wetness. There was so much here, and her scent made him dizzy. Roasted nuts soaked in pepper. He'd never tire of that.

He pushed his fingers inside her, playing first one, then two, then stroking all over as he learned what she liked. Leaning in, he wedged her thighs farther apart. He had broad shoulders, and he wanted total access to the feast before him.

“Don't let go,” he said merely to prolong the moment. Her aroma swirled through his senses like a delicious fog. He felt drunk on it.

When he couldn't hold back any longer, he went in. This wasn't just about tasting her, though God knew he adored that. This was about hearing her gasp when he pushed against her clit. About the way her body trembled when he sucked. Her thighs were strong where they gripped his shoulders, and he imagined her legs pulling him in deep. But the most amazing thing of all was the way her hips lifted toward him. While he feasted on her, she strained for him, undulating against his mouth and making keening sounds.

He kept it going as long as he could. He let her cool off while his fingers opened her. Then he surprised her with a sharp push with his tongue or a low growl. He liked the way the vibration of his sounds went through his mouth to her. And he loved that she responded with noises all her own.

There was one sound he particularly loved. A high gasp, nearly inaudible. But he knew if he kept the tempo quick, her breath would shorten into pants that soon became a scream.

So he did it. He pinned her legs open with the weight of his arms, and he set to licking with determination. This was something his bear adored and so he let it slip its leash enough to feast. Her sound started low, but quickly built. Higher. Hotter.

Nearly there.

Then he bit against her clit.

Her body convulsed. His fingers were inside her, pulled tight and high. And, oh, yes, she screamed.

What a glorious sound. What a sweet sight—her body quivering before him. And the scent had his bear roaring in hunger, licking every inch as she orgasmed beneath his tongue.

What a woman!

His bear was taking over, the mating imperative coursing through him. This is where he'd lost it so many years ago. He felt the prickling of fur on his skin, the thickening of bone, and the extended length of his tongue as he laved her body. He was shifting. As a teenager, he hadn't the control to stop it, but he was a man now. He would not terrify her.

He wrenched himself away and stumbled blindly for the bathroom. He had to stay human.

His bear ears heard her breath ease before a slow purr of delight.

“I've never…No one…” Her voice was tentative, but he heard every word. “You really do love that.”

Language. Words. They came slowly, but hidden from sight, he could shape his mouth as a human. He could beat the bear back enough to stay a man. “I do,” he said. “I love. Your taste.”

He heard her shift on the bed. “Are you getting the condom? It's right—”

“Stay there!” The words were more of a bark, and he heard her still. “I'm trying not to explode. Just give me a minute.” He closed his eyes and breathed deep. Her musk continued to fog his mind, but it was muted in the bathroom. His joints settled. The fur receded. His paws settled into hands.

“Mark?”

Talk to her. Keep human. “Can we…” He swallowed. “There's a position I really like.”

“Yeah?” There was curiosity in her tone. Maybe even delight.

“I like being able to touch you while I'm in you.”

“Um, okay.” She clearly didn't understand, and he didn't have the mental capacity to explain.

Instead, he focused on stripping out of his clothes. He found the condoms and suited up with shaking hands. And when he returned to her, she was still in that boneless, dreamy place. So pretty. So lush. What he wouldn't give to see her like this every morning, year after year.

She smiled at him and pushed herself upright. “Mark,” she said, and there were layers of meaning in his name that he hadn't the brainpower to understand. He heard tenderness and longing, maybe. Or maybe he just needed to hear it.

Swallowing, he stepped into the sunlight. Her eyes widened when she saw him. No part of him was small.

“I'll go slow.”

She blushed a fiery red. “Don't hold back for my sake.”

He grinned as he stepped to the edge of the bed. And when they kissed, he felt an urgency from her that startled him. As much as his blood thrummed in his ears, demanding faster, harder—
now
—she seemed to want it, too. And now. And…

Wow.

His hands were shaking when they separated. And when he looked in her eyes, they were dark with hunger, the air spicy with lust.

“Don't be gentle, Mark. I don't want gentle.”

Thank God because at that moment, his bear broke free. He kept his body human, but only barely as he flipped her on the mattress and lifted her to all fours. Then he pushed his hand between her thighs. She was slick as she opened for his penetration.

“Cant. Go. Slow,” he panted.

She arched her spine, offering herself to him.

He impaled her. A single deep thrust and her silken heat surrounded him. Her passage squeezed him—gloriously tight—and he leaned down to scrape his teeth across her shoulder.

“Mine,” he growled.

She keened, high and tight. Not in pain, but in that prelude to orgasm he'd learned a few minutes ago. He wanted to touch her as he had before, but the bear was in charge. It was pounding into her, thick and hard. His hands gripped her hips, holding her in place.

So good. The slide and the pull. Squeezing inside. Drawing deep. All to the sound of her gasps. Shorter. Tighter. Higher.

She bucked beneath him, writhing in pleasure. He rammed as deep as he could before doing it again and again.

And then she did it.

A high squeak that became a scream.

She convulsed around him.

He exploded inside her. All of him pouring into her.

Wild. Primal.

Julie!