Lexington and 42nd (The Off Field Series #1) (21 page)

“Oh?”

He nodded. “He ah, he mentioned he might have upset you last weekend.”

“He did? That’s strange. I hardly remember talking to him.” My voice was so high pitched it didn’t even sound like me.

Mark put his sandwich down and shook his head. “Look, I want to have this conversation even less than you do, but I think you need to be aware of a few things.”

My heart rate rose so quickly, I put my hand across my throat to cover the pulse I was sure was visible. I had no idea what Mark was about to say so I stayed silent, not wanting to incriminate myself.

“He mentioned that he might have…kissed you…in Florida.”

“Oh.”

Mark held up his hands as I opened my mouth to speak, cutting me off. “It’s okay, you don’t need to say anything. I don’t want to hear the details.”

I shut my mouth. I was so shocked I wasn’t even sure what I would have said if he’d let me go on. How
could
Will? Of all the things I expected Mark to say, finding out that Will had blabbed about the exact thing I was so intent on keeping private was infuriating.

“I’m not here to pass judgement on you, Emma. I witnessed his interest in you at the fundraiser, and I don’t doubt that he’s been the one initiating things. He said so himself.”

I nodded vigorously, relieved at least that he wasn’t accusing me of throwing myself at Will.

Mark’s hands went up once again as I opened my mouth, silencing me twice in as many minutes. “He also mentioned you heard about Sarah,” Mark inclined his head, narrowing his eyes at me. “And him.”

My eyes widened. “You know about that?”

Mark nodded. “Unfortunately for Sarah I was getting out of the hotel lift, as they were going into his room together.”

“Oh.”

The visuals that swam through my mind were just
so
unwelcome.

He chuckled. “Certainly not her finest hour.”

I looked down at my half-eaten sandwich, not even remotely hungry anymore.

“Look, I’m only telling you this because I want you to know what you could be getting yourself into if you take this any further.”

“Mark, I swear, I’m definitely not—”

“Just hear me out. I’m not into micro-managing my staff, especially when it comes to their personal lives, but I want you to understand a few things and then I’ll stay out of it.” He paused, checking to see if I was willing to listen. I nodded my head.

Mark exhaled and went on. “It’s different over here than what you’re used to back home. I know you operate with similar standards, but the NFL is in a whole other stratosphere. This is genuinely a multi-
billion
-dollar business, and the people at the top of the food chain are ruthless.” Mark tapped his hand on the table between us. “The players are the business. Literally. No one off the field will have a speck of influence unless the players are doing their job on the field. And Jensen is the jewel in the crown for us.”

I nodded, knowing what he was saying was true, even if it frustrated the hell out of me. No matter how hard I worked or how well I, or the rest of my colleagues did their jobs, none of it mattered if the on-field talent wasn’t doing theirs. Winning on the field meant winning in business. Clubs at the top made a hell of a lot more money than clubs at the bottom, because while management was important, ultimately it was hard to sell a product that wasn’t performing.

Mark looked down at his plate before meeting my eyes again. “I sent Sarah to Australia to protect her from any fall-out if people found out about what happened between her and Jensen.”

My jaw dropped. “Really?”

“Really.”

I opened and closed my mouth a few times before any words came out. “But…
why
? I mean, I know it’s not a great look,” I laughed. “I’m very aware of how bad it looks actually, and I’ve been panicked about it for weeks…but at the end of the day, they’re both adults.”

Mark nodded. “I know, but all Hayes sees is unnecessary issues for the players. And regardless of how absurd it is, he’s cutthroat when it comes to them. He’ll do whatever he thinks will get him the right result on field.” Mark shrugged. “Now I’m not saying I agree with him completely, but there have been times when it’s caused issues for the players. He only needs something to happen once to take a hard-line stance on it. I sent Sarah to Australia because she was good at her job and it wasn’t in her nature to brazenly go after one of the players just for the sake of it. She had a few too many drinks and made an error in judgement. I didn’t want her to lose everything because of one mistake.”

I was finding it hard to breathe with all the new information whirling round in my head. I was still reeling over finding out Will had told Mark about us, let alone absorbing the fact that Sarah had to effectively give up life as she knew it just because of one night with Will.

Mark waved a hand in my direction. “I’m only telling you this because I don’t want you to find yourself in a similar situation. Hayes won’t hesitate to send you home if you get involved with Jensen. I’m not going to tell you what to do with your personal life, but I do want you to know what you’re getting yourself into.”

I nodded, my thoughts immediately going back to Jim’s words the night he’d offered me the opportunity—
don’t fuck this up, Lexington. Otherwise we’re all out of a job
. After hearing what Mark had to say, I was pretty sure my recent behaviour well and truly classified as fucking things up.

Feeling sick to my stomach, I trailed him out into the midday sun, relieved to have some fresh air. “I’m trusting you not to say a word of this to anyone, by the way.” He glanced sideways at me. “For both Sarah’s sake and my own. No one that wasn’t there that night knows what happened and it needs to stay that way.”

“Of course not. I won’t say a word to anyone.”

Mark shook his head. “I have no idea what Bobbie was doing blabbing to you. I thought I’d made it clear to the fool to keep his mouth shut.”

“I get the sense that most of what you say to him goes in one ear and out the other.”

Mark chuckled. “Yeah, that sounds like Bobbie.”

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Will had called twice on Monday and both times I ignored him, my blood boiling just from seeing his name appear on my phone. Any warmth I’d felt at seeing his missed call the first time that day had been replaced by anger following my lunch with Mark. I didn’t hear from him after he sent me a text that went unanswered late Monday evening, his simple
what happened to talking today?
message sending another wave of fury running through me. He didn’t know how lucky he was that I didn’t answer his call, given the mood I was in. There was a fair chance I would have burst his ear drum through the phone.

After work on Wednesday, I had a drink with Carrie and James, who were now publicly dating and had survived week one of some serious office ribbing. They were heading to see a band in Brooklyn, but I just didn’t have it in me, so I grabbed some take-out and walked home.

My eyes met Will’s the instant I turned the corner onto my street. He leaned against his car, hands shoved deep in his jeans, a navy t-shirt clinging to his chest and a Yankees baseball cap sitting low over his eyes. I couldn’t help the way my mind subconsciously acknowledged how good he looked before my anger had time to surface. His long legs carried him across the street and he was standing in front of me in an impossibly short amount of time. Either that, or time had stood still. I wasn’t sure which one it was.

We both stared at each other for the longest time. “What are you doing here?” I said, at the same time Will asked, “Why didn’t you return my calls?”

We reverted to another awkward silence. Will took off his cap, pulling on his hair as he looked anywhere but at me. He let out a long breath, finally meeting my eyes. “I’m sorry but you didn’t leave me much choice. You never called me back.”

“Fuck you, Will. I don’t need to return your calls.” I spat the words out before I’d even had a chance to process them.

His jaw slackened at the venom in my voice but I couldn’t help it—his sense of entitlement was infuriating. “Jesus, Em. I know you’re mad, but just hear me out.”

“I didn’t answer your calls because I wasn’t ready to speak to you. I’m still not.”

He frowned. “Why did you agree to talk if you weren’t ready?”

“Seriously? Were you dropped on your head as a baby or something? It’s not like you gave me much choice, putting me on the spot like that.”

He winced. “Look, obviously you’re pissed but if you’d just let me explain—”

“Explain? Why bother? Why don’t you just pass on whatever it is you have to say via Mark? My
boss
in case you’ve forgotten.”

Will blinked, looking genuinely confused. “Wait a sec, what the hell does he have to do with anything?”

I glared at him. “You
told
him. You fucking told him, you big jerk.” I had to clench my fists to stop from shoving them into his chest.

Will shook his head. “Hang on, you mean about us? About the kiss?”

“YES!”

He pulled his cap lower over his head and dragged me to a corner of a stairwell as two passers-by turned to stare at us.

“Look, I don’t know what you’re getting so worked up about. I only told Mark because I was trying to protect you. I made sure he knew it was all me, okay?”

“Protect me?” I hissed. “You
exposed
me. To my boss of all people. What I don’t understand is why you even opened your mouth to begin with.”

Will rubbed his hand across his jawline. “It’s not liked I planned to or anything but when he showed up instead of you, I didn’t exactly hide the fact that I was pissed off.” He shrugged, finally looking somewhat sheepish. “He wanted to know why I cared so much that you weren’t there and I, well…I told him about what Bobbie said and how you were upset and he just put two and two together from there.”

I concentrated on evening out the inhale and exhale of my breath, not even sure what to say to Will.

“Can you just let me explain? At least about Sarah? It’s not what you think,” he said. It was then, when I met his eyes again that I realized he had no idea what had actually happened to Sarah. No clue that a meaningless night of sex for him resulted in life as she knew it effectively ending. It was staggering how protected the players were. They lived in this bubble where everything was right in the world. It was up to the rest of us to make sure their only concern was what happened on the field. Deep down I knew it wasn’t his fault, but I couldn’t bring myself to care at that moment.

I shook my head. “No Will, I don’t want to hear it. I’m so angry right now I can barely look at you.”

He inhaled deeply, his eyes widening. We both stood there, looking anywhere but at each other for the third awkward silence in as many minutes. We must have been nearing a record.

I made to move around him toward my apartment. “I have to go.”

“Wait. Please.” Will caught my elbow. It was light enough for me to pull away easily but I couldn’t, the heat of his touch overriding any such plans. I turned back and met his eyes. God he was beautiful, painfully so. No man with such raw masculinity should be labelled beautiful, but that’s exactly what he was. He blinked a few times, stepping closer until I had to lift my head to hold his gaze.

He had dropped my arm. None of our body parts were touching but I still felt the heat radiating off him, smelled his familiar scent. I wanted to reach around his neck and run my nails through the licks of hair poking out beneath his cap. There was nothing awkward about this silence. It wasn’t even sexual. Being close to him just felt right.

“I’m so sorry, Em. I know you don’t want to hear it but please let me talk to you. I
need
to explain.” He paused, watching me closely for a moment before he went on. “It was stupid, it should never have happened. It’s nothing like you and me.”

I flinched at his words. “Will, there is no ‘you and me.’
Especially
now that you’ve gone and told Mark. You thought nothing about opening your mouth and revealing what happened without even thinking of me. This—” I gestured between us. “—can’t happen.”

Will’s eyes bulged. “Are you fucking kidding me? Why are you getting so worked up about this? Mark was fine. I told you, I explained that it was me.”

“Oh, well I guess that makes it all better then, doesn’t it? You’ve just tidied everything up into a nice little package.” I glared at him.

We were both breathing heavily. Will pinched the bridge of his nose and I could just imagine the speech he was giving himself as he tried to keep his cool.

“Obviously neither of us is ready to talk yet, but we need to. I’m not cool leaving it like this.”

I nodded. As much as I didn’t want to, Will was right. We still had nearly ten months of working together. This definitely needed to be resolved somehow. “Okay.” I sighed. “I’ll be managing your interview tomorrow night. We can catch up after that.”

I watched as Will’s facial features relaxed and only then realized I’d never seen him so tense. “Good…good. Let’s talk then.”

I took a step backward, unsure how you say goodbye after an encounter like that. There didn’t really seem like a fitting farewell when everything was still so unresolved, so instead I said nothing.

#

I stared at myself in the mirror, annoyed that I even cared. I told myself there was nothing abnormal about taking ninety minutes to get ready for an event I’d only be at for thirty. Nothing at all. It was natural to wear my favorite dress when I’d likely just stand in the corner unseen for most of the time. The fact that I’d bothered to wash and blow dry my hair even though it had only been washed the day before had nothing to do with seeing Will again. Nothing.

I took a deep breath, willing myself to just get out the door and face the music. To say I was a nervous wreck was a serious understatement. Knowing tonight I would be seeing Will again had left me pretty much unable to function for the past forty-eight hours. If Carrie and Dana thought that mopey me was bad, then distracted, anxious me was ten times worse—they were probably having serious doubts about the whole exchange program at this stage.