Lettuces and Cream (8 page)

‘No, nothing, better go and see who it is I suppose.’ They were both disappointed at having their peaceful and productive afternoon disrupted, but Jan crossed the hallway to open the door and was surprised by seeing Keith and Chris standing there.

‘Hello, hello, what a surprise, come in out of the rain. Didn’t expect callers on a day like this.’

‘It’s awful isn’t it? Hasn’t stopped all day, but we had to come out to take our two to a birthday party. We’ve just dropped them off so Keith thought we’d call and see you. That’s the trouble around here; you spend so much time shunting kids around. Can’t just put them on a bus, and it’s to far for them to cycle,’ Chris shrugged her shoulders and sighed, ‘kids, what a pain, eh?’

Jan was a little surprised at Chris’s seemingly indifferent attitude her children.

‘Hello folks,’ Mike said as cheerfully as he could as he joined them in the hallway.

‘Hi Mike, I’ve got that address you wanted-for the van you’re looking for. He’s got one that would be just right for you. I’ve told the bloke you’d call and have a look.’

‘Oh right, yeah, the van, thanks Keith.’ Mike wanted a van but had been putting it off because of the expense, and he hated being pushed into things. But, faint heart never won fair van-or something like that. But it looked as though a visit to the Bank for a loan was imminent.

‘We were just going to have a cuppa, fancy one?’

‘Tea? How about a real drink?’ Keith said with a grin, and pulled out a bottle of wine from the capacious poachers pocket in his waterproof jacket. Jan and Mike didn’t really want to sit around all afternoon drinking, but had to be polite.

‘Lets go in the sitting room its warmer in there, I’ve got the fire going, for the kids.’

The visitors removed wet coats, and of course their Wellingtons, and they all trooped into the room, chairs were pulled around the fire and the drinks poured. Mandy and David carried on messing about with bits and bobs on their old play table and ignored the intrusion. Jan was still feeling a little uncomfortable about Chris’s behaviour the day before, but they sat together and began their own conversation about the impending Am Dram night and housewifely matters and all was, ‘As normal as strawberry jam,’ as Mikes grandmother would have said.

Mike and Keith were sitting together having their conversation at the other side of the room.

‘We’ve had a hell of a day, Mike,’ confessed Keith, taking a large swig of the wine. ‘I got home about ten last night, knackered from all the driving so went straight to bed. This morning, I found all the sodding pigs were out of their pens rampaging through where we keep their food. Bloody awful mess, bags torn open, shit everywhere. About forty quid’s worth of pig food ruined, and the pigs lying around with stomach ache and diarrhoea.’

Chris, hearing what her husband was saying, chipped in. ‘Our dog was barking her head off in the night, but she’s been doing that a lot lately so I didn’t think anything of it. I just don’t know what’s going on. Last week the cattle got out and into the winter kale, and that’s another mystery. But I just can’t understand how the pig pen bolt came to be open. He says I must have done it but I distinctly remember locking the door after I fed them.’

Keith gave his wife a look that said, ‘I know it was you, but I am not saying any more about it.’ Jan knew the signs and guessed they must have had a row, so tried to distract Chris by restarting their previous conversation and leaving the men to theirs.

‘Well how are things with you, Mike?’

‘Oh, you know, Keith, slow but sure.’

‘As the Bishop said to the actress,’ Keith was trying to get in a party mood, and downed his drink in a rush, ‘I see you’ve ploughed that piece of land around your poly-tunnels.’

‘Yeah, Idris Evans did it for me, do you know him? Only charged me twenty quid.’

‘Twenty quid, what a rip off the standard rate is only seven pounds an acre, the bloody crook. Still, I did warn you Mike, you’ve got to watch these locals. They can be right sods. They do you a favour one minute then rip you off at the first opportunity.’ He took another large gulp of wine.

‘Yes, well, it didn’t seem to bad to me,’ Mike was saddened that his kind thoughts about his one-time helper had been shattered and changed the subject before Keith got too worked up with the topic.

‘Jan said you go up Newcastle way quite often.’

‘Aye man, ‘fraid so, but it has its compensations-you know,’ he gave Mike a knowing wink. ‘When the cats away and all that,’ he continued, lowering his voice to a whisper, ‘of course who knows what the women get up to, eh.’

Well, well, Mike thought, is he at it when he’s away from home-naughty boy? However to Mikes practised male ear it didn’t sound quite right. He had heard many men pretend that they were Casanova’s and Keith really didn’t seem the type. Despite his big talk he seemed to Mike, to be a quiet sort of fellow. Still, as Mike know from his own adventures, you can’t tell by looks what people are up to, but despite Keith’s aura of openness Mike found him a rather enigmatic chap. And what did he mean by ‘what the women get up to?’ He must mean Chris? What was she doing when he was away?

‘And another thing Mike, I know where you can get a sow. ‘Mari Brunt’ has got two for sale.’

‘Mari who?’

‘Mari Brunt, that’s what the locals call her, it means ‘Dirty Mary,’ apparently, I call her Mucky Mary. Anyway, she lives just outside Llanddewi Brefi - bit of a nut case, but she knows her animals. I’ll scribble out a map of how to get there if you like. If I were you I’d buy the two. That would really get you going.’

‘Okay, thanks Keith, but why do you call her, Mucky?’

‘You’ll find out soon enough,’ Keith laughed, ‘it will be a nice surprise for you.’

‘Anyway, I’ve nearly finished one pen,’ Mike continued, ‘I found some old concrete blocks behind the barn, and some bricks. But I really need a van. I picked up a small amount of sand and cement in the car but I need a lot more to lay the floor. Anyway, how far away is this place-Llanddewi Brefi?’

‘Oh not far, about six miles, about the same as Porth. You haven’t got a trailer so she’ll bring the sow over for you-you’re in for a treat when you meet her.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Oh yeah, man,’ Keith said rather mysteriously, and poured himself another drink…

‘I’ve been thinking, Jan, I meant to say the other day but forgot. Seeing you haven’t got a bathroom if you want to bring the kids over for a bath sometime, or if you and Mike fancy a proper bath, why not come on over to our place. I know how difficult it must be, particularly with the kids.’

‘That’s very good of you Chris. It would be lovely to have a real bath now and then. We’ve decided to buy a Rayburn stove like yours, but it will only be second-hand one, and some sort of temporary hot water system. It will all have to be moved when we eventually build the kitchen, but we can’t manage without hot water, especially through the winter. And I’ve been cooking and boiling water on our old camping stove for weeks, so a Rayburn will be great. But are you sure we won’t be a bother, having strangers in your nice bathroom?’

‘Yes of course, you’re not strangers now, are you?’ She gave Jan a quizzical little smile, as though she was expecting a special response, but Jan didn’t pick up on it.

‘We can work out the best times and things, it’s no trouble honestly. I wouldn’t have mentioned it otherwise. That’s settled then-great.’

It was getting dark when Keith, a bit worst for wear, and Chris, finally left. Neither Mike, Jan or Chris had drunk very much. To be honest they didn’t get much of a chance because Keith had kept the bottle firmly in his grasp. It seemed that Keith liked his booze a lot, and perhaps women equally so. Of course, perhaps Chris knew all about his extra activities and did the same thing. But to Mike, having a bath in someone else’s house was a little bit sexy. In fact when Jan told him of the bathing offer, it was his unspoken conviction that it was a ploy to get them both in the house - naked. Mind you, lots of things seemed sexy to Mike. Or was he right, and Chris did fancy him?

Ever since he was quite young Mike had enjoyed taking photographs. Especially trying to capture memories and picturesque scenes he had enjoyed and wanted to retain. It was part of his sentimental streak. He particularly liked sneaking up on his children at play and catching them in their natural wild state as it were. Otherwise if they saw the camera they would immediately go into silly poses, not what he wanted at all. Attempting to capture the subtle countryside hues was another challenge, and he considered himself to be the recorder of family events. In fact his mother and other relatives had passed all their old photos to him for safekeeping.

He had bought his first camera with money earned from his childhood paper round in the days of ‘you’ve never had it so good,’ Prime Minister McMillan. It was a really smart folding Kodak camera, together with a clip on flashgun. He still had that old camera but Jan had bought him a modern 35mm camera a couple of Christmases ago, and it was now getting heavy use. Jan had suggested that he photographed everything about the place as a series of before and after shots. And he had already been recording the house, barn and fields in various stages of change. It was a bit of a chore actually remembering to take the photo before starting any work, and very often he would have to go back to the house, take off his dirty boots, find the camera, and then back outside. However it was worth the effort, as it would eventually produce an interesting history.

Of course, Mike being Mike, there was a sexual element to his photographic interest. One of his adventures a few years ago, back in town, had been with Barbara who liked being photographed by her husband in very explicit poses. Mike had been involved in one of these sessions and vividly remembered the excitement and pleasure that had glistened in her eyes, Unfortunately, Roy, her husband, had in other ways been an absolute bastard to poor Babs, and she eventually committed suicide. But Mike could still recall the good times and that look of passion on her face, and had wondered ever since if Jan could be inspired, after a drink or three, to give it a try. So he always kept a particular type of colour film in his camera bag that he could process at home-just in case. He had been reminded of all this today, Monday morning, when the postman had delivered the latest batch of completely innocent slides.

‘Slide show tonight kids.’

‘Have you got some funny ones of us Dad,’ Mandy chirped.

‘They’re always funny if you’re in them sweetheart,’ Mike quipped, the joke passing over Mandy’s pretty young head.

‘Can we see some of them now?’

‘Nope, sorry kids, it’s time you two got walking to the bus.’

‘Aw mum, will you take us- it’s raining?’

‘Well, okay, as a treat, and seeing it’s Monday morning, I’ll take you down in the car.’

‘Oo, great,’ David said with relief. He was a bit of a lazy bones and hated walking, sport or any vigorous exercise, unlike Mandy who was always full of unspent energy.

‘It will soon be half term, I’ll have to get some jobs lined up for you two,’ Mike teased. But the children ignored him as usual.

‘They don’t call it half term here Mum, they call it Potato Week, or something like that,’ David giggled at the thought of a Potato Week, and wondered what the heck took place at such a time.

‘I haven’t heard of that before, have you Mike?’

‘It’s a new one on me. Could be some strange local ritual I suppose. Perhaps they all dance around a spud chanting weird – chants.’

David found this highly amusing and was well pleased with having instigated the fun.

‘I’ll ask Chris tonight when we go to Am Dram. Come on you two, get to the car you’re going to be late.’

At Chris and Keith’s place, similar scenes were taking place.

‘I’ve done the milking-it’s in the kitchen, on the table. Are the kids ready? I’ll take them to the bus and then I’ll go on to Porth. I need to pick up some fencing posts for Long Meadow. It’s another mystery and I dunno how, but the cattle have got through into the winter Kale crop again. The gate was still shut so they must be going through the hedge, but I can’t see where, I canna see any gaps. And, we don’t want any more major break outs-do we?’ He gave Chris a pointed look, as though to say, ‘I haven’t forgiven you for not shutting the pigs up properly.’ Chris didn’t respond, she was thinking about the evening out at the Am Dram-and Janice, she now preferred thinking of her as this, not Jan. To Chris’s ears, Janice had a soft and sensuous ring about it, and she murmured to herself, savouring the sound, Janice, Janice.

‘Are you listening to me, Chris? Or day dreaming again?’

‘Um, what, yes of course I am. What day are you going up North this week?’

‘Soon as I get the fencing up, Wednesday I think, I should have it done by then. Anyway, I’m off, I’ll have coffee when I get back.’ Without Keith and the kids, the kitchen is quiet once more and Chris is feeling especially lustful…

‘That’s the kiddies sorted we just made it, the bus was just going.’ Jan shook the rain from her coat, ‘it’s pouring down again, oh yes, saw the postman on my way down to the village and we’ve had a letter today from my mum and dad. They want to come up at half term to see the kids, well, and us of course. Do you think we could sort that spare room out so they can stay, at least overnight? It’s a heck of drive for dad, he’s in his sixties after all.’

‘Yeah, okay, it just needs a wash down and some boxes shifted out, then we can put the bed up-should be fine, for now anyway.’

‘Oh, thanks love,’ Jan said, and started washing up the breakfast dishes.

‘We can get some advice from your dad while he’s here, he’s good at building jobs.’

‘He’d love that, he likes to think he’s still useful now he’s retired,’ and changing the subject Jan added, ‘I expect your mother and sister will be down next.’

‘Yeah, expect so, they must be busting to see the place as well. It’s a busy life out here, eh Jan?’

‘It is a bit. I’ll have to get some extra food in food in too. Anyway apart from the spare room what you going to do today Mike?’