Letting Go (Rock Romance #6) (6 page)

“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.”

-- Oprah Winfrey

I’ve had her number for days, my parents keep calling wondering when I’ll work up the balls to call her and apologize for being such a dick. They said that Rush has been down, depressed without having Radisyn visit. If anything that should be encouragement enough to make the phone call but I can’t bring myself to do it.

I’m a selfish prick.

We’ve left California, played a few shows and now we’re headed to the Midwest. Because of having Temperance on tour with us, a day off is coming soon, I’m thinking rather than call I should just show up, now that I know where she works usually and where she lives. It shouldn’t be so hard to find her.

“Pick the phone up yet?” Jason asks, I’ve told them all about it. Jason and Gage had seen Radisyn the night I brought her onto the bus and kicked them out. It’s not every day that I kick them out so I can be alone with a lady friend. Usually I don’t give a shit, they can be in their own beds and I’m still getting laid.

With Radisyn, I guess I cared. I didn’t want them to see an inch of her bare skin, I didn’t want to take the chance that they’d hear the heated sounds she made, the sounds caused by me.

For some unknown reason, those sounds had to belong to me and only me.

The guys all have their women, and they’re faithful I would never question that, but she’s mine.

Mine?

She’s definitely not mine.

But why is my body feeling that she is?

I need to see Radisyn.

~*~

“You sure you’ll be back in time for the next show right?” Ryan questions me.

“I promise I’ll meet you guys at the next show, this is just something I have to do.”

“It’s about fucking time, first time since I’ve met you that I couldn’t stand to be around you. You’ve had a stick shoved up your rotten ass all week.” He says pulling up to drop me off at the airport.

“Yeah well I clearly remember you being a dick when Natalie wouldn’t speak to you, or how about when you first met her? You embarrassed her in front of an entire audience. God you were a dick then, or how about Liam and his bi-polar-ness when it came to Layla? He wanted her, didn’t want her, and wanted her.”

“Liam had a lot going on then.”

“Still, he was the same way. How about I continue? Gage shoved Abagail away when all she wanted was to spend the rest of her life away. Jason, well I can’t say much about Jason, he went after what he wanted. Although Raven was a stark raving bitch at the time. Me, well I knew when I saw her that I wanted her, I just didn’t know that I wanted her for good.”

“Then what are you doing sitting here still blabbing? Go make her yours.”

“I’m going to try like hell, if she’ll have me.”

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”

-- Lao Tzu

It’s been one week, since the first meeting with Zepp.

Six days since I’ve seen Rush.

And I feel like the world I had made, crumbled down around me. What I thought was, wasn’t. What I had felt, I was wrong. Avery called earlier, said it was time I stopped mulling over what was lost and move on. I reluctantly agreed. So here, exiting a cab outside of The Edison, wearing a green faded dress, its vintage and something I normally wouldn’t have picked out except that Avery bought it and brought it over so I couldn’t refuse.

I enter, a hostess in a 1920’s flapper dress leads me down a beautiful staircase into the basement of the Higgins Building. I spot Avery at the bar, she waves two drinks at me.

“Finally, you made it! I’ve already taken the privilege of choosing your first drink. A moscato, its delicious, just enough bubbles and sweet. Enjoy!” She says handing the wine glass over. I down it, I’m going to need a buzz to get through tonight.

I take a look around, large ornate walls, decorated to feel like you’re back in the 20’s. Every waitress wears a shiny black flapper dress and the bartenders are dressed in suits. Very classy. The lounge has a relaxed jazzy feel, a small stage located across the room in a corner.

The lights are dimmed, the lone stage covered in darkness except for one small light shining on a microphone and its stand. Dry smoke hovers the floor, wisps of white man-made clouds. They shift away, when I realize someone’s walking onto the stage, the person’s feet clearing the smoke with each step they make. My eyes are entranced at the small unsteady steps the legs covered in black dress pants make.

This persons nervous and taking their time reaching the spotlight. I hold my breath, just wanting the person to reach that spot on the stage. Thrilled to hear what they might do in a place such as this.

They take another unsure step, then another slowly revealing themselves. I follow the legs up, slowly, they’re wearing a suit, tailor made to their body. The buttons on their jacket undone revealing a white crisp dress shirt, their sleeves rolled up to their forearms. Then the face.

Is face.

I gulp.

It’s him.

Zeppelin.

What is he doing here?

I look to Avery quizzigly.

“Did you know he’d be here?” I question her.

“No, I had no idea he’d be here, thought he was on tour or something.”

She lies.

Liar.

“Fucking liar.”

I place the wine glass down on the bar, throw a few ones on the counter and begin walking away. If he’s here, I’m not.

“Radisyn! Wait, please just wait.”

I pause in my step, I turn my body around to face her. “If he’s here I need to leave Avery. I can’t stay I’m sorry.” I begin to walk away again. Until she speaks.

“He made me bring you here. Well he didn’t make me, but he asked. He’s here because of you. Please just stay and hear him out.”

“I don’t owe him anything.”

“No of course you don’t Rad, but you could just do him this favor and listen to what he has to say. For me at least, please because I want to hear what he has to say to you.”

I think it over. I could leave, but if I did it would be with regret that I chose not to hear what he had to say.

“Fine, I’ll stay but only because I don’t want to regret my decision to leave. Once he’s done, we’re leaving. I’m not waiting around for him.”

“Okay, that’s okay.”

We go back to the bar, sit at the stools as Avery places another order for drinks. I look back over to the stage and find him, in the lone spotlight, his eyes meeting mine.

His eyes that are filled with regret and apathy, for me?

He clutches the microphone and speaks into it lightly.

“This song is for my Cherry. She doesn’t know it, but with one meeting, she changed me. This is Letting Go.”

The music begins, a soft lullaby of notes, and then he begins to sign. His voice starts out as a light whisper, floating throughout the entire room.

Letting Go

Led into darkness, past was light

Blame and guilt fed the fire inside at night

Women and drinks gave me a reprieve, only for happiness to misconceive

But tonight all I want to do, is Let Go with you

Miles on my feet from running, only to stop because your cherry red hair was stunning

Made to forget that day, only for it to go out the window with what you had to say

But tonight all I want to do, is Let Go with you

Confrontation ruined my hopes, anger fueled my thoughts, that happiness could never be bought

Even then all I wanted to do, was to Let Go with you.

Tonight I get on my knees to apologize, we can find a way to compromise because baby, there’s no sense in Letting Go when you’re not there to catch me.

By the time the songs ends, every single patron at the luxurious lounge is feeling his pain, his every emotion, and his regret, but most of all his love. He made himself vulnerable for me, telling me and everyone in here his story with a song.

I look to Avery, “Just go.” She encourages me.

He steps off the stage guarded, slowly walking toward me as I do the same to him. Until we’re feet apart, I run to him covering the distance between his and my lips. I kiss him with my song, stealing his and giving him a new one. I clutch at his neck, aiming for depths unknown. Drowning him with myself.

He pulls back slightly, “Come back to Rush, but most of all, come back to me. Be my happy?”

I hesitate. “Yes! Yes! I’ll be your
happy
.”

The End.

Acknowledgements

There are a few people I wanted to acknowledge personally that have made this journey one of a kind.

My husband, whom from day one wholeheartedly supported this dream. He takes care of me daily and never falters to support every move I make.

My bestie, who encouraged me to start writing years ago. Self-doubt held me up for a while and when I moved past that hurdle she was there cheering me on.

Steele’s Groupies, the best ladies an author could have backing her. Each one of you are amazing and mean so much to me. That you all took a chance on an unknown and fell in love. That you’ve floated on this boat of Steele’s Army with me, blows my mind.

Renee Lee Fisher, hands down, the kindest soul I’ve ever had the chance to meet. We started with Bacon, sailed into words, flowed to friendship, now we’re infinite.

Amy Hemp, somehow we’ve planted the seeds for a lifelong friendship. We’re connected souls, you and I.

Enjoy Rocker Romances?

Check this book out.

Rock Notes

By Renee Lee Fisher

Madison Tierney's a writer, whose husband, Thomas suddenly left her after 10 years; she is destroyed and now recently alone and divorced. She picks herself up slowly trying to restore her lost confidence and ability to love again. She follows her writing passion and ventures to follow a local band - Rolling Isaac's and write about them, raw and real and how they follow their dreams. Her book is titled ROCK NOTES.

Her ex-husband wants to come back, and she is torn with what she had for ten years with him which was safe, comforting and a committed relationship. And now she is falling hard for the band singer - Max Rand (Madison calls him Rand), who is several years younger than her and every moment with him is intense and unpredictable.

Rand has tragically lost love in his life. He has no love left to give. He fills his time with many groupies and late nights. The story travels you to various concert venues, from a sexy piercing party to a New Years rocking eve. There are many interruptions and assumptions for this couple along their journey.

While Madison is writing ROCK NOTES, somewhere along the way she begins to write LOVE NOTES, which are personal secret love letters for Rand. Also Rand is always writing music with the hope of creating his first solo album. Both Madison and Rand appear to be able to write their feelings on paper effortlessly but have a hard time conveying them to one another.

This story is about being so broken inside from having your heart ripped apart, to attempting to rebuild trust, follow your dreams and hopefully find love. Will she return to the warm awaiting arms of her ex-husband who still is in love with her? Or will there be a new beginning for Madison and Rand?

Can these two empty souls feel love again? Or will what ignites between them simply fade away after the concert lights dim?