Letting Go (15 page)

“You look beautiful my dear,” she said. Casey gave her a polite nod but said nothing.

“You’ve outdone yourself Julia,” Devlin said to Julia who was standing proudly behind Casey.

“Thank you sir.” Julia placed a matching silk wrap around Casey’s shoulders.

“Are you ready to go?” Devlin asked. Again, she only nodded, her expression blank.

***

Inside the limo, Devlin tapped his fingers impatiently on his knee. Casey had moved as far away from him as she possibly could, her slim body pressed into the door. She had calmly crossed her legs, placed her purse in her lap and then clasped her hands over the purse. Her eyes were staring out the window. Unnerved by the silent tension, Devlin fought the urge to fix himself a drink. How had they gotten to this point? A few weeks ago when he had come up with this farce it had made perfect sense. But he sensed that the closer they got to their destination, the farther away his Casey went.

“We don’t have to do this” he finally said.

“It’s fine” she responded coolly.

“Casey-“

“It’s fine. It’s for Isabel” she said firmly and it was clear that was all he was going to get out of her.

***

The richly luxurious Pierre hotel was alight with activity when their limo pulled up. Within moments, the beautifully matched couple was turning heads as they made their way up the red carpet and into the Grand Ballroom. To Devlin’s surprise, Casey placed her hand in the crook of his arm and placed an elegant smile on her lips as they made their way into the fabulously appointed room. The moment they stepped inside, Devlin automatically began to network. He shook all the right hands, kissed the right cheeks and said all the right things. But it was his introduction of Casey that proved to be the most entertaining. Full of charm and grace, she made small talk, shook hands, nodded politely, smiled artfully and managed to obtain three invitations to various society events before they had even reached their table at the front of the room.

Devlin seated her before taking his own seat at the exquisitely set table. He quickly introduced Casey to the two couples already seated at the beautifully set table. As she made conversation with the two other women, one the wife of Devlin’s Chief Executive Officer and the other the wife of the head of the hospital, Devlin tried to focus on the conversation the two men were having but he found himself watching her instead. It was as if she had been born into the role and if he hadn’t known it was all a sham he would have fallen prey to her charm as well. She didn’t overstate anything – she was the consummate actress and the two older women were buying it all. They raved over her dress and how beautiful she looked to which she dutifully complemented them both on their appearance. When they inquired about her past and asked her how she had come to know Devlin, he prepared to step in and rescue her.

“We actually met in Paris,” Casey said softly. She paused as if remembering the day. “I was studying art and our latest assignment was to draw something that intrigued us and in doing the drawing, we had to find what it was that had drawn us to the object in the first place. I thought it would be an easy assignment to complete but days and days went past and while I found many things that intrigued me, nothing came of my drawings. And then I saw him.” She turned and glanced at Devlin who, by now, was watching her with open curiosity. The other two men at the table had abandoned their conversation to listen to her story as well.

“He was sitting at a small café near a park with a beautiful fountain and flowers everywhere. I sat down on a bench to watch him for a moment and then I picked up my sketchbook and began to draw. I drew for nearly an hour and when I was done I had found what had intrigued me so.”

“What was it?” asked one of the women almost breathlessly.

“There we were, surrounded by all this beauty and life and yet he never looked up from his work. Not once.” Casey again turned her gaze on Devlin but this time she held it as she spoke. “At first I pitied him for all that he was missing. But then I looked down at my picture and noticed what I had drawn – it was passion. Whatever was on that paper that had held his attention for so long was something he was passionate about. And it occurred to me then that in all the time that he had been sitting there so enamored with his work, that I had spent that same amount of time enamored with him, with my drawing. And not once did I look up and enjoy the beauty and life that I had so pitied him for not noticing.”

She fell silent and held his gaze for another long moment before turning her attention back to the entranced women. “So how is it that you actually met?” one of them asked.

Devlin spoke before she could respond. “She had been wrong in thinking that I had eyes only for my work because I noticed her from the first moment I saw her. I waited until she was done and as she was packing up her things, I went up to her and informed her that because of her I had missed a meeting with an important French Diplomat and asked her how she intended to make it up to me.”

“And what happened?” asked the older woman.

“She slapped me and left.” Everyone chuckled. “I saw her again a week later at the same café. She bought me a cup of coffee as an apology and as a thank you because she got an A on her drawing.”

As the other couples smiled approvingly and returned their attention to each other, Casey and Devlin stared at each other for a long time. She finally broke the contact and tried to focus on her place setting. Devlin didn’t miss the brief nervous jitter of her hand as she took a sip from the water glass. Maybe his Casey was still in there somewhere after all.

***

Within half an hour, the dinner was served. Madelyn Cragen and her equally portly husband, Howard, arrived and noisily seated themselves at the table. Madelyn’s incessant chatter kept Casey from having to contribute and she used the opportunity to study Devlin in his normal surroundings. He was a born conversationalist. His commanding, authoritative tone implied that he usually won an argument but he also allowed others to interject and even conceded defeat on rare occasions. The respect he had earned made him a powerful man in his world – she could see that from the numerous people she had been introduced to and the titles they held. A few politicians, numerous heads of businesses that even she recognized and even a distant relation to England’s royal family all treated Devlin as if he was their best friend. Of course, Devlin took it all in stride, but she didn’t miss the lack of warmth in his voice. She sensed that it was just business, no more. It made her wonder if he had any true friends.

She heard a chair scrape and saw the man who had been introduced as Devlin’s CEO get up. “Miss Wilkes, would you care to dance?” Startled, Casey glanced around her and realized that numerous couples had taken to the dance floor. Even the CEO’s wife had been whisked away at some point. Casey choked on her response. It had never occurred to her that dancing would be a requirement of this nightmare.

“She’s already promised the first one to me Bob,” Devlin interjected smoothly as he reached out his hand to her and stood. The other man smiled good-naturedly and sat back down and turned his attention to Howard Cragen who was still attacking his dinner. Casey forced herself to take Devlin’s outstretched hand and stand. She allowed him to lead her to the dance floor. He maneuvered them so they ended up on the outskirts of the throng of dancers.

“I don’t know how to dance,” she said shakily.

“It’s okay, just follow my lead.” She felt one arm slip around her waist as the hand on the other arm closed around hers. Although the silk gloves she was wearing prevented her from feeling the touch of his skin on hers, it didn’t matter. She felt the bile rise up in her throat anyway.

Devlin felt her stiffen the instant he touched her and the light trembling of her body didn’t surprise him. He cursed himself for not warning her about the possibility of dancing. Of course, he had expected her to be aloof and remote which would have kept her safe from possible admirers. But then she had gone and turned the charm on full blast. As her trembling increased, Devlin struggled to think of something to distract her.

“This is your own fault,” he said matter of factly.

“What’s my fault?” she asked.

“This, the dancing.”

“My fault? How is this my fault?”

Devlin bit back a smile at the sound of irritation in her voice. “All that charm you were giving off back there? What did you think was going to happen?” He tried to make his voice as accusing as possible. It worked.

“I was just trying to play the part you forced me into.”

“I don’t recall telling you to play the part of a debutante at her coming out ball,” he quipped. The temper flared in her eyes.

“I was being polite.”

“And that story you told! Jesus, what was that all about? Talk about sappy.”

“Well I didn’t see you offering any explanation for this farce!” At her raised voice, he pointedly glanced at the couples nearby who were staring at her curiously. She promptly lowered her voice and forced a fake smile to her lips. “What would you have had me tell them?”

Pleased that she was no longer trembling, Devlin decided to take advantage and pulled her closer against him. Her anger kept her from noticing the contact of their bodies. “I don’t know. Maybe that we met on a blind date or something.”

“Yeah, a blind date. I’m sure your friends would believe that someone like you is so hard pressed to find a woman that he has to rely on someone else to set him up.”

“I never said I was hard pressed to find a woman. And I certainly wouldn’t rely on any of these people to help me find my soulmate.” She shook her head. “What?” he asked.

“Soulmate?”

“Sure, why not?”

“Never mind,” she said.

“You don’t believe in soulmates?” he challenged.

“I don’t believe in that kind of love.”

“What kind of love is that?”

“Unconditional – the kind of love that would cause someone to give their own life for the life of another.”

“You don’t believe that people can love each other that way?”

“I don’t believe men and women can love each other that way. Some parents may love their children like that but that’s it.”

“Like Amanda?” he asked gently. He felt her tense momentarily but then she relaxed and nodded.

“Yeah, like Amanda.” She fell silent for a moment before giving him a curious glance. “Did you love your wife?”

He hadn’t expected the question but surprisingly, it didn’t bother him to have her ask it. “I think I loved her in the only way I knew how to at the time.”

“What do you mean?”

“She was so innocent and fresh. Her life was very sheltered and her parents pampered her to the point that she couldn’t really even think for herself. But she knew she wanted something more than that – she just didn’t know what it was. I think that’s why she married me.”

“I don’t understand.”

“My parents each worked two jobs each just to scrape up enough money to get by. I started sweeping floors at the canning factory that my dad worked at when I was ten and I’ve been working ever since. I went to Harvard on a scholarship and worked nights to make ends meet. Jennifer saw me as someone who had lived life. I think she figured that being with me would open up a new world for her – one where she would have to rely on herself to survive.”

“But that didn’t happen.”

“No. When I met her, I knew she was the last part of my plan to make it. I was getting the education and making all the right connections. It was just a matter of time before I made it to the big time. Jennifer was the perfect trophy wife. She’d look great on my arm at business functions, she had a well-connected family and she had been raised in the world that I wanted to live in. I just assumed she wanted to be all those things to me.” He fell quiet as he remembered his own stupidity and blindness. He finally looked back at Casey

“So, to answer your question, I loved the image of who I thought she was. But the truth is that I really never even knew her. I was in love with someone who only existed in my head. I was a stupid kid who didn’t know the first thing about real love.”

“And now you do?” At his nod, she eyed him suspiciously. “How do you know?”

“My parents. You only have to look at them together once to know what real love is.” He left it at that. Several seconds passed before Devlin slowed the dance and then stopped completely. It was then that Casey noticed the music had ended. To her shock, she found herself pressed tightly against Devlin’s broad chest, his strong arm secure against her back. She felt the familiar roll of her stomach and pulled away from him. He reluctantly released her.

“Um, I think I should go to the ladies room,” she murmured as she hurried away from him. As she forced her way through the crowd, another dance started. Casey managed to escape the room and hurried into the elegant restroom which was blessedly empty. She sank down on the settee and tried to slow her breathing. Mixed emotions went through her as she realized how long and how close Devlin had held her. He had purposely distracted her by provoking her temper and then engaged her in an intriguing conversation so that she wouldn’t notice their contact. Casey waited for the belated feeling of disgust to come but it didn’t. She’d felt it at the beginning of the dance and she’d felt it at the end but the middle had been something else altogether. Shock went through her as she realized what it was. She had enjoyed listening to him. The sound of his voice, the warmth in his eyes, the softness in his tone, they had all called to some deep part inside of her that didn’t make sense to her. He’d made her believe that he’d needed her to listen.