Letting Go (21 page)

He shook his head. “I don’t know. I just wish our past wasn’t so messy.”

“There’s not a single thing we can do to change that.”

He realized then how shaky her voice had become. “Oh, hey, Quinnie, I didn’t mean to upset you.” He reached over and pulled her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“That’s not true. I’m glad you did. If you feel that way, I want to know. But I just don’t want it to come between us. I can’t lose you, Luke.”

“Okay,” he said. He hugged her back as he trailed a few kisses across her hairline.

She finally released him and sat back. “When you got here, earlier, you said you had something you wanted to talk to me about. When we had a few minutes to ourselves. What was that about?”

“Oh, that. I don’t know…maybe it’s not a good idea after all.”

He’d seemed excited about something earlier. Now he looked glum.

“What’s not a good idea?”

He seemed to be debating whether or not to tell her. Finally, he started talking. “Dad finally decided his last day will be the end of April.”

Quinn nodded. “That’s less than two months away.”

“Right. Anyhow, I started thinking…with him gone, I’ll need someone to do the books. You’re looking for a job.” He shrugged. “I was wondering if you’d be interested? It would be part-time, like you wanted. You could work from home if you feel like it. Your hours would be flexible.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Luke, you don’t need to give me a job. I’m sure I’ll find something eventually.”

“I know,” he said. “But it’s a family business. It would make sense if you worked there. I know you don’t know the ins and outs yet, but after all of these years, you’re at least a little bit familiar with things. If you’re not interested, I’m going to have to start looking for someone.”

“Are you really serious?” she asked.

He nodded. “Yeah, of course. Mom used to do the books for Dad back when the business was small. Before she started working at the courthouse. She just did the books from home, that way they stayed out of each other’s way. But after hearing what your mom had to say today, I would understand if you weren’t interested.”

Quinn scoffed. “You can’t honestly think that I’d let that affect my decision. Because it won’t.”

He nodded. “Okay, you can think about it. I mean, for a week or two. I think it would work out great for both of us. I want someone I know I can trust. You should have a job that’s flexible in case Carter gets sick or has an appointment or something.”

“Okay,” she agreed. “I’ll think about it.”

~*~*~

“I can’t believe her!” Carly fumed. “Oh, wait. Yes I can.”

“
Sorry, I probably shouldn’t have told you,” Quinn said. “But I don’t like keeping things from you.”

A sarcastic laugh shot out through the phone line. “
Don’t worry about me. But, oh, Quinnie. What is she going to say when she finds out about the house?”

A devious smile worked its way onto Quinn’s face. She sunk down onto her bed. Luke had left not long ago. Carter was down
for the night. She knew Carly would be back home by now so she’d given her a call.

“About that…” Quinn said.

“What are you up to?” Carly demanded.

“I had an idea. You’re right. She’s going to flip, and not in a good way, when she hears about the house. You and Nolan are still planning to show up on Friday night, right?”

“
Yes
…?”

“I thought maybe I’d tell her about the house on Thursday night. That way, she’ll have something else to obsess about.
”

“You’d do that for me?” Carly asked.

“Of course,” Quinn said. “Is Nolan nervous about meeting everyone?”

“He says he’s not. He’s been warned.”

“How was it, seeing Jesse the other night?” Quinn asked.

“Awkward,” Carly admitted.

“He still calls you Cricket.”

“He sure does.” Carly didn’t sound all that happy about it.

“Where, exactly, does that nickname come from?” Quinn hadn’t meant to ask. But there the question was.

“I don’t want to tell you,” Carly said. “It’s kind of an inside thing. You wouldn’t get it. It’s one of those things you had to be there for.”

“Eww,” Quinn said. “That’s what I was afraid of.”

Carly laughed.
“No. It’s not ‘eww’. It’s nothing like that.”

“It’s not like a codename for your favorite sexual position or something?” Quinn teased. “Because that’s what I’ve been thinking all of these years.” She was only half joking.

“
What
?! No! And you think
I
have a dirty mind?!” Carly cried. “It wasn’t just sex with Jesse and me. I mean, yeah, there was a lot of it. But that wasn’t all it was.”

Quinn smiled at this admission. She
had always
wanted
there to be more to it, for Carly’s sake.

“Fine. I’ll tell you but I’m warning you, you kind of had to be there. I mean, it’s not going to mean the same thing to you that it means to me.”

“I’m waiting.”

“Okay.  Fine. When I was a senior, I went to a frat party—”

Quinn groaned. “Were you out hunting for Jesse?” As far back as that, Quinn knew it was not only possible, but likely.

“Yes, he
happened
to be there. Now, do you want to hear this or not?”

“Go on.”

“So. Like I just said, Jesse was there. To make a long story short, some of the frat boys were hitting on me. Jesse came stumbling in, drunk off his ass. One of the guys had me pressed up against the hallway wall.” As if she could sense her sister’s concern over the phone line, Carly jumped in to reassure her. “It was fine. I let him. But Jesse was blazing mad when he walked in. It’s not a huge surprise that those frat boys were after young-meat. In fact, they called the underclassman—they had no idea I was still in high school—but they called them grasshoppers.”

“Why? I don’t get.”

“Because,” Carly said with an agitated sigh, “apparently grasshopper is a nickname for someone young and innocent.”

“Oh,” Quinn said with a little nod. She still didn’t entirely understand where this was going.

“Like I said, Jesse came in, blazing mad. He threw the guy off of me and said, ‘Hands off. This cricket is mine.’ He
meant
grasshopper. But he was wasted and apparently he was confused. See?” she said. “You kind of had to be there. Anyhow,” she went on, “I ended up going home with him that night. It was the first time since…” She faded off.

“Since you handed him your virginity?” Quinn asked with raised eyebrows.

“Yes,” Carly said, unapologetically. “Anyhow, we laughed over it after he sobered up some. Then he just started calling me Cricket. And I liked it. I liked that he had a nickname for me. Especially one that he
thought
meant young and innocent.”

“You
were
young and innocent,” Quinn pointed out. “And then he brought you home and defiled you.”

“Whatever,” Carly said. She laughed at Quinn’s teasing tone.
“I liked it. That’s all that matters.”

“I’m getting the feeling that there’s a lot more to you and Jess
e than you ever let on.” Quinn was met with silence. “Carly?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“It always amazed me how you would come home in the summer and just pick up like you were never apart.”

“Well,” Carly said hesitantly, “maybe that’s because we never were apart all that long.”

Now Quinn was silent as she tried to make sense of what Carly was saying. “You’re going to have to explain that.”

“Okay, sometimes he’d come visit me durin
g the school year. A lot of times, actually.”

“Are you serious?!” Quinn had had no idea.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Carly insisted. “It never really meant anything.”

“Do you honestly think that he would drive four hours, one way, for a bootie-call?!” Quinn blushed. She was the prude of the family. “Do they still call it that? A bootie-call?” she nearly whispered.

Carly snorted out a laugh over the line. “It doesn’t matter what you call it. That’s basically what it was.”

“Oh no,” Quinn said. “No. No. No. There is
no one
who would drive that far for just sex. No one.
Not
when they can get it without leaving town without a whole lot of effort. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be mean but you know Jesse doesn’t have a hard time getting women in his bed.”

“I know,” Carly muttered.

Quinn instantly regretted saying it. “Carly,” she said softly, “the only reason I pointed that out is because if he’s driving that far, it’s not for sex. It was for
you
. Just. You.”

“Maybe I’m just that good,” Carly said. She was going for smug but didn’t quite pull it off.

“No one’s that good, sis. Not even you.” Quinn knew Carly didn’t think that. She was just trying to rationalize Jesse’s behavior. She frowned. “So did you sneak him into the dorms?”

“No,” Carly said.
“He’d get a hotel room. A nice one. We always made a weekend of it.”

Quinn was stunned into silence
. She had never realized how entangled Carly’s life really was with Jesse’s. And now they were over and she was marrying someone else.

Carly had gotten awfully quiet on the other end of the line. Quinn decided she needed to change that.

“So, a wedding dress. How soon do you want to start looking?”

17

“I’m sorry. I just don’t like that pretentious punk,” Luke said.

His gaze was zeroed in on Nolan, who was on the other side of the bar. He and Carly had just gotten up to shoot a game of pool.

Quinn frowned at him. She didn’t care for Nolan, either. But she wanted to hear what Luke’s reasoning was. “Why not?”

Luke clenched and unclenched his jaw. Finally he said, “Because he keeps checking out your ass. And he doesn’t seem to care that I notice.”

Quinn raised her eyebrows in surprise.

“That’s just not cool,” Luke said. “You don’t check out your girlfriend’s sister’s ass. I mean, yeah, maybe I checked out Carly’s back in high school when I was horny all the time. But I haven’t for years. I mean, she’s your
sister
. He shouldn’t be checking out anyone else. But least of all you. That’s insulting to me, you, but most of all Carly.”

So far, the night had
not been what Quinn had expected it to be. She’d assumed she would like Nolan, just on principle. He was, after all, marrying her sister. It hadn’t occurred to her that she might
not
like him.

The evening had begun at the Johnson’s with a family dinner. Nolan had managed to overtake nearly the entire conversation. He spoke incessantly of the mountainside resort his family owned. He’d spent the better part of the meal tossing around names of guests. Politicians and athletes and the like that had visited.

Quinn and Luke had not been impressed with such ostentatious behavior. Pete had seemed somewhat enthralled. Margo, possibly to everyone’s surprise but Nolan’s, had seemed completely enraptured with him.

She could’ve overlooked the dinner dis
cussion. What bothered her most was the way Nolan treated her sister. He had told her first that she needed to put her hair down before going out because, he’d reminded her, he didn’t care for it when it was up. Next, Carly had come downstairs, ready for a night out. At Nolan’s request, she’d gone back to her room to change.

Nolan had profusely praised Margo for the delicious dinner. That in itself would’ve been fine. But he hadn’t left it at that. He’d found it necessary to say that it was such a shame that Carly hadn’t inherited her mother’s cooking skills.

To further her annoyance even more, he’d barely waited for Carly when they reached Shady’s. He’d headed across the parking lot, only stopping once he’d reached the door to see if she was behind him. Once inside, he’d ordered a beer for himself and left Carly standing at the bar alone. Luke had nudged her away, telling her to go pick a table as he got drinks for himself, Quinn and Carly.