Letting Go (6 page)

She watched his lips move, digesting his words. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I heard you. I assume you said all of that leading to something else.”

He liked her straightforward approach. A man knew where he stood with her. “Am I wasting my time? Are you attracted to me?”

“Yes, I’m attracted to you. I still don’t know if I’ll have time to see you before I leave town next Friday, though. One doesn’t cancel or confirm the other.”

“I know.” He paused, considered his options, and then took a chance. “I like you. I don’t know why, you’ve mangled my ego and made me work harder to keep your attention than anyone I’ve ever met. But…there’s something…indefinable. I like talking to you. I like this, eating with you, wondering what’s beneath that dress. And even if I never see, wondering about it excites me. You excite me. Everything about you has me buzzing. I’m not used to that. I don’t recall it ever happening before.” He paused and took another breath. “I said all that to explain why I push, why I want to be with you in Key West and share a sunset or sunrise even though I can’t. Why I hope you’ll give me a chance to prove why you’ll like me.”

After spending the previous month talking with him for hours Kelly shouldn’t have been surprised at his bluntness. His words robbed her of speech. She managed a weak nod while scrambling for a clever response. Nothing came to mind. Flattered didn’t scratch the surface, fear that she’d mess up choked her. She settled for simple honesty.

“Thanks for sharing that with me. I’m surprised.” He pulled back, and she cursed herself. “Let me finish. I haven’t dated in a long while. For one thing, I’ve been in school part time and working full time while raising a child. I said all that because the reason I’m here with you is I’m interested. I enjoy our conversations. I can’t recall laughing or having so much fun debating anyone in years. I don’t agree with all your political points, but you made a good argument for what you believe and that’s what’s important. You’re witty and smart, a potent combination for my analytical personality. So to answer your question, yes, I’m attracted to you. And you’ll need to decide if you’re wasting your time. I can only say I’m not wasting mine.”

Their gazes locked, and he took her hand and squeezed. “I’m not wasting mine either. Dessert?”

She looked at her half-eaten plate and realized she couldn’t eat any more. “No. I’m full. I’ll have a glass of water, please.”

“Sure thing.” He stood, picked up the plates, and left the room.

The moment she no longer saw him, doubts rushed in, spraying the walls of her mind. Was he playing a game with her? She didn’t remember Arnold, her ex, ever discussing his feelings. He mixed the few times he said he loved her in with apologies after they fought. Did a man like Grant need to play games to have sex? The man had money and looked like a sex god, no reason for him to chase after her unless he wanted what he claimed.

Confusing and conflicting thoughts chased each other until she wanted to scream. Bottom line, even if this is a game, tonight she planned to score with a big touchdown. The voices in her mind settled in agreement. Her body needed release.

Grant returned holding a glass of water and extended his hand to her. She took it without hesitation and stood. Together they walked down the hall and turned into his den. Most guests never made it back here. He handed her the glass and watched her take a long sip as she looked around the room.

After the accident and subsequent downward spiral, he'd shut down his past. He kept it all locked here, his football memorabilia, pictures of his old hang outs and former friends, not at home where his kid could see the reminders. Bringing a smart woman like Kelly into this room may not have been the wisest move on his part, but he wanted her to know him. He needed her to accept him, warts and all, just as he accepted she would never be a booty call or one night stand for any man. When they had sex, and they would tonight if left up to him, he knew it would be the beginning of something.

In silence she walked around, stopping here and there to read a plaque or commendation or look at one of the many photos lining the wall, giving it a museum quality. Strange he’d never thought how this room would appear to others, but now he wondered if she thought him self-obsessed because of this mausoleum.

“How long did you play…professionally?”

That surprised him. Grant hadn’t played long, but while he had, he'd taken his team to the Super Bowl twice, had been in the news quite often, and did several commercials. For a while everyone seemed to know him on sight. “Six years.”

She nodded and continued looking at his…stuff. Heat suffused his cheeks as he looked at the room through what he imagined would be her eyes. Pictures and news article clippings about him, trophies he’d won, team shots, commercial ads were all of him. No one else.

“Do you miss it? Playing football I mean?” She turned and looked at him, pinning him with her direct gaze.

“Sometimes. Not much anymore. But yeah…sometimes.” He hadn’t been able to admit that to anyone in years. The truth banished bits of darkness in his heart. He loved football; it had been how he identified himself. The inability to run on the field had crushed him for years.

She nodded. “I don’t know much about sports, but based on this…” she waved. “You had a great ride. Seems like you had a lot of fun, you saw and did amazing things.”

Put in that context, he agreed with her. It had been good. Lots of hard work, challenging. The rewards of scoring, of winning, against an equal opponent kept him grounded and primed for more.

“I wish it had been longer.” He shrugged, pushing back the memory of his accident. It had taken years to release the anger. He'd blamed his wife, fired the housekeeper, and stopped playing with his son. That had been a dark time in his life, which led to more drinking. “Things happen for a reason.”

She nodded while staring at him. “So you made the journey from pro athlete to conservative candidate; that’s a big jump. Did you make any significant stops on the way?”

He smiled but didn’t answer. He had taken a chance she’d run screaming, never to return, when he brought her in this room. On a visceral level, he understood why he’d done it, but standing in front of her, right this second, he hated his decision. He couldn’t share the dirt he’d done. She wouldn’t understand what it had been like for him. No one could. He needed more time with her.

“I made a few stops on the way. I’ve done some things I’m not proud of, things I despise. But then, who hasn’t?” He tossed her the ball hoping she’d share something first. Anything, just so he’d know she’d be a haven.

She nodded, looked away as if she were considering something, and then walked toward him. His heartbeat kicked up a notch. He wished he could look away or act as if her response didn’t matter. He’d done that plenty of times with plenty of people. But Kelly’s direct gaze stripped him of pretense, as if he were a student caught lying.
He froze when she
placed her cool palm on his cheek.
His body responded to her nearness. Did she have any idea what she did to him? His cock hurt with need and his thoughts wouldn’t settle.

“You are an incredible man,” she said into the silence.

Her words rocked him and tugged at his heart. Outside of sports no one had ever complimented him in such a way that their words held an immediate ring of truth. An invisible link connected their gazes. He wanted to make light of her words, hide how they affected him. His mouth opened in denial.

“Thank you,” he said instead, sensing gratitude from the pit of his belly. Her lips brushed against his.

“Why are you hiding? There are no pictures on the walls or in any of the rooms that I saw. Everything is in here.” She leaned back and for long moments the idea of sharing his guilt for his misdeeds teetered on the brim of his lips. The silence continued.

She stepped back, looking aside, murmuring an apology for intruding.

Still connected, he moved forward, pulled her into his arms and held her close. His hand stroked up and down her back, he pulled her arms around his neck. A groan escaped his throat at the intimate contact. He pulled her closer and held her tight. So many things bubbled beneath the surface. The need for touch, the need to share the real man before the path he’d chosen changed him, the need for validation and acceptance. He’d been wrong so many times in the past, he couldn’t be wrong now. Not about Kelly. Everything about her rang true. He wanted to take a chance and trust her. But fear had been his constant companion for too long, and he’d grown accustomed to listening to its voice.

“The condo is my sanctuary. This room is my past, I’m looking forward not behind. I wanted you to see this small part of who I am. Because the past always leaves a stain on the future.”

She leaned back and stared into his eyes. “You went poetic there for a second. Are you trying to tell me something?”

“I did tell you something. No one but me comes in this room.”

She nodded, replaced the side of her face on his chest and continued to stroke him. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“No questions. Whenever you want to talk about this room and what it means to you, we will.”

He closed his eyes and dropped his chin on the top of her head. Her hair smelled great. In slow increments he became aware of his growing arousal. He ran his hand down her back, cupped her ass cheek and squeezed. He waited for her response.

No objections.

He took his time touching her everywhere. Her super soft skin amazed him, he couldn’t stop running his hands over her. She’d moved her arms from around his neck and he’d replaced them.

“I want to touch you,” she said. Her words a soft whisper that went straight to his dick.

“Not now. I promise you can do that later, but I have dreamed of this. Your skin… how do you make it so soft?”

She chuckled. The movement of her chest vibrated through him. “You’ve spent the past month dreaming of my skin? Riiight.”

“Yes, I have. You’re always on my mind. I’m sure I called the older woman in the senior citizens home, Kelly, today. Fortunately, she couldn’t hear that well and smiled.”

“You didn’t.” She laughed.

“Yeah, I did. Broke the monotony of the day.” He marveled at the use of that word. A month ago, he would never have uttered it in a sentence. Talking with Kelly challenged him to step up intellectually. During his visit with the senior citizens, the conversations never stooped to eighth grade levels. Their questions required knowledge on a number of issues and practical solutions. He didn’t know why his campaign manager insisted he dummy down to talk to people, it didn’t always work.

“A woman’s skin is softer than a man’s.” She rubbed her cheek against his chest.

“Not all women have soft skin.” He stopped, realizing he’d broken a cardinal rule of referring to other women while in the arms of a woman.

“Hmmm. Since I don’t have the same benefit of research as you do, I’ll have to take your word.”

He smiled at her comeback. She never pandered to his ego or played dumb. On the other hand, if she didn’t know, she’d admit it right away. Kelly didn’t have a goddess complex, the woman dealt with him as an equal. He had never dealt with a woman who didn’t defer to him, but didn’t dominate either.

“Okay,” he said.

She nodded.

He leaned back, searched her eyes, and seeing acceptance, he touched her lips with his. Her lids lowered, her breaths quickened. He ran his tongue across the seam of her lips. She released a tiny sign that he’d heard earlier when she ate the bread.

His cock throbbed to the point of pain. Her mouth opened the barest width, and he swept in with his tongue, touching her, always touching her.

Tiny signs escaped her throat. He deepened the kiss. Her arms tightened around his neck. Bodies aligned, he slid his hand down her back, cupped both cheeks and lifted her. Her legs wrapped around his ass. The kiss consumed him. Everything filtered to this point in time. Her lips on his. Her legs around his waist. Her pussy against his belly, warm, and he prayed, ready.

They broke for air. His forehead rested against hers and took in gulps of air.

“Wow.”

He didn’t have enough air to respond and wondered how she managed.

She placed small kisses on his cheek and stroked his face with the tips of her fingers, sending tingles through him. It had been too long. His hard cock could break stone. He repositioned her in his arms so she’d feel his erection beneath her butt.

“Oh.” She looked up at him.

“I want you.”