Letters Home (2 page)

“It’s nice to meet you, Danielle,” he said as a crooked smile spread across his face.

My heart fluttered in my chest. Finally, my voice decided to cooperate

“Hi, Nate.”

Normally I was confident and self-assured, but one look from this guy and I was a puddle of mush. Using his foot, he pushed off the wall to stand directly in front of me. His green eyes, bright with excitement, watched me closely. “I was hoping you could show me to class.”

This guy wasn’t shy at all and his confidence was just another string pulling me toward him. Then there were those eyes—so vibrant, they reminded me of the color of grass in early summer. It could have been seconds or hours, I don’t know how long I stared at him without answering before Marissa elbowed me in the ribs, making me jump. I would never forget the smile that spread across his lips. It was both warm and welcoming.

“Um…yeah sure.” My face flushed, as I continued staring at the poor guy.

“Well…” Marissa cleared her throat again. “I need to stop by my locker before gym, so I’ll meet you there, Danielle.”

Marissa made a quick getaway in the other direction. My tongue seemed to be permanently wrapped around itself in his presence and I had to walk him to his next class. The situation had “disaster” written all over it.

“Okay, let’s go.” I started to move in the direction of the gym when I realized that he wasn’t following me, which was weird. “What are you waiting for?”

“Well, call me crazy, but isn’t it easier to show me where my class is if you know what class I have next?” He smirked.

Oh my god. This had to be some kind of reality show with a hidden camera because there was no way that anyone could do so many ridiculous things in front of another person without there being some type of joke being played. I knew this was going to be a mess. My eyes dropped to the floor.

“Oh yeah, where’s your class?” I muttered sheepishly, knowing there was no way I could look him in the face. All I needed to do was get him to his next class, then I could continue with my plan to avoid him at all cost.

The amusement was clear him his voice. “My schedule says I have gym next.”

I almost groaned aloud. Only me.

The hallway felt hotter than normal, but before I could take one step in the direction of the gym, his voice stopped me. A hand curled around my elbow, causing my head to jerk up. “Hey, Danielle, why so jumpy?”

In no way did I want Nate to think that I didn’t want to be around him. When I noticed the look on his face I felt a sense of calm, and with my embarrassed nerves gone I was able to see how ridiculous I was being. It was like a wake-up call for my confidence—something that had been hiding since he’d walked into the classroom. “I’m sorry, Nate. I’m not normally like this, I guess you just caught me off guard. Can we start over?”

“I like the sound of that.”

I reached my hand out to him. “Hi, Nate, I’m Danielle. It’s nice to meet you.”

He laughed at the gesture, but put his hand in mine anyway. “Hi, Danielle.”

“I have gym next too. We can walk over there together, if you like?”

The smile never once left his face. “That works for me.”

Finally, we started to make our way toward the gym. “So, what brought you here?” the sarcasm in my tone had been ill disguised because I couldn’t imagine why he’d moved to our small town, with its even smaller school. As we walked side by side, Nate explained that his dad had just retired from the army and had wanted to move somewhere quiet.

“Well, you’ll definitely find quiet here. I can’t think of a place more boring.”

“Yeah, but sometimes boring is good. I’ve lived in so many different places, the thought of staying in one place permanently, even a quiet one, sounds perfect to me. I’m guessing you grew up here?”

“Born and raised. There’s not much to see, but I can take you around…if you want?”

I wanted to smack myself in the head as soon as the words were out of my mouth. Moments before, I’d been struggling to speak in front of him, yet there I was, offering to show him around town.

When we finally reached the doors to the locker rooms he turned to face me, his eyes bright with happiness. “I’d like that, and for today, how about lunch?”

I smiled, the first relaxed one since laying eyes on him.

“Perfect. I’ll meet you back here in an hour.”

From that moment on we’d been inseparable. It had started off as a simple friendship. We spent our time doing normal things, like having lunch together, or studying for math—by far my worst subject in school but, thankfully, Nate’s best.

By the months before senior year things had started to change between us. We grew closer over the summer and by Halloween—at the homecoming dance to be specific—he asked me to be his girlfriend, in front of everyone. It hadn’t mattered to Nate that he was different from the other guys his age, and even though I’d never been so embarrassed in my life, there had been no way that I could have said no.

The best part was that Nate hadn’t changed at all since then. He always did whatever he thought was right, even if sometimes it was out of the ordinary.

The floorboards in the hallway creaked as I leaned over to place the picture on the nightstand by my side of the bed. When I got up to unpack another box, I noticed Nate standing in the doorway, his arms above his head holding onto the frame.

“Hey, babe,” he said. ”Are you doing okay in here?”

“Pretty good. It finally feels like home,” I said, glancing behind me toward the nightstand.

His gaze followed mine and a smile slowly spread across his face as he moved farther into the room to pick up the picture. “I’ll never understand why you keep this picture. We have so many others that definitely look better.”

I snatched the picture out of his hands, placing back in its spot. “That isn’t the point.”

He turned and wrapped his arms around me. “Whatever makes you happy,” he chuckled. “I’m gonna go back to working on the living room.”

When he left, I sat down on the bed and focused on the photo once again. Although not Nate’s favorite, the photograph was special because of what it represented. Whenever I saw that picture I was reminded of a time when things were simple. A time when our biggest worry was surviving college.

Some days I wished that had stayed my only worry.

The realization that your life has started to move in the direction you’d always hoped it would.

When Nate and I were accepted into the same college, I’d thought life was perfect. I was going to be a lawyer and Nate an architect.

One day that all changed.

I’d known Nate wasn’t happy with his major, and there was a small part of me that wondered if he was unhappy with me. While I’d hoped that he just needed to find something that he really loved¸ imagine my surprise when he sat me down and told me what he really wanted to do. Just the thought of that conversation made my hands shake…

The knock on at the door was only just audible over the music. It surprised me because everyone else was supposed to be in class, so I wasn’t expecting anyone. Getting up from my desk, I made my way over to the door, curious to see who was on the other side. Imagine my surprise when I opened the door to find Nate.

“Hey, why aren’t you in class?” I said, taking a step back to let him into the room.

“I had something I had to take care of.”

He moved across the room to take a seat on my bed and I watched as his knee bounced up and down. That was weird. Usually by now he’d given me a hug, maybe a kiss, or acknowledged me in some other fashion, yet he continued to sit with his forearms resting on his legs and his eyes downcast. Needing to comfort him and figure out what was wrong, I walked over and sat down next to him, sliding my hand down his arm and lacing my fingers with his.

“Nate, talk to me. What’s wrong?” I asked, my concern growing every moment he stayed quiet.

Slowly his head lifted, his eyes moving up to meet mine for a brief second before focusing on our clasped hands. Taking a deep breath, he finally began to speak. “Dani, I have something to tell you and it may not be easy to hear.”

The uncertainty in his voice and the way his eyes wouldn’t focus on mine combined with the words he spoke made my chest feel tight, and I began taking in short, shallow breaths. What could he possibly want to tell me that he needed to preface it that way?

In all of the years I’d known him, I’d never seen him like this. In the last few weeks his mood had taken a turn for the worse and our time together seemed to be cut short, with him always having excuses about having work to do—something we used to do together. When he had spent time with me, he’d seemed as if was keeping his distance. Part of me had been waiting for this conversation, yet dreading it at the same time and when he started to speak I was almost certain this was the end of us.

My throat began to burn as I did my best to hold back my emotions, while I waited for him to finish what he had come to say.

Nate’s hand squeezed mine and my gaze rose to meet his. I’m not sure what he saw, but whatever it was caused his eyes to widen and he rushed to reassure me. “Dani, I’m not sure what’s going on in your head, but knowing you, it’ll be some delusional idea that I’m breaking up with you. That’s not it. You have to know by now that I’d never leave you.”

Unable to speak past the lump in my throat, I simply nodded and waited for him to continue. He pulled me in close to his body and held steady. I hadn’t realized that I was shaking all over.

Once my tremors had subsided, he moved me away from him to look me in the eye. “But I am going to need to go away for a while.”

“I don’t understand.”

He squeezed my hand even tighter. “You know over the last few months I’ve been unsure about what to do with my life, right?”

The weight that had been sitting on my chest lifted as I realized Nate must have finally decided on a new major, and I was dying to know what it was. I still didn’t understand why he’d have to go away, but I figured maybe it was something that required a semester abroad. In my excitement I jumped up from the bed, clasping my hands together in front of me.

“Oh my God, you picked a new major! What is it? Do you have to do a semester abroad? That’s so exciting. I wonder where they might send you—”

He reached out, taking my hand in his to stop my rambling.

“Dani, come sit down.”

I allowed him to pull me over to the bed, the springs creaking as I took my seat next to him. “Nate, what’s going on? I thought you’d be excited about finally making a decision.”

He smiled. “I’m
very
happy about my choice…I just hope you’ll be happy with it too.”

“Of course I’ll be happy with it. Anything that makes you happy, makes me happy.”

“I hope you really mean that,” he mumbled. He took a deep breath. “Okay, here goes…I joined the army.”

“What?” I whispered, unable to raise my voice because it felt as if all the air had been forced from my lungs.

“Dani?”

The room began to spin and I started to feel lightheaded. He couldn’t be serious? In all the time we’d spent together he’d never once mentioned wanting to follow in his father’s footsteps. In fact, he had always been against it. That’s why we were here: to find our own way instead of following our parents’ paths. Why would he change his mind?

My breath was now coming in rapid pants. Unable to pull enough air into my lungs I began to hyperventilate, my vision starting to fade out. Hands on my shoulders gave me a good shake. “Breathe, Dani!”

My head snapped up and I was finally able to suck in a deep breath. This all had to be a bad dream. He’d said he wouldn’t leave me. The back of my throat started to burn again, trying to keep the tears at bay. What was going to happen to him? When his dad had joined the army things were different. Today’s world left soldiers in the military unsure of who the enemy actually was. Even if the war was over, our soldiers were still dying overseas. Nate knelt down in front of me, his hand resting on my thigh.

“Danielle, look at me.”

Nate never called me Danielle. Slowly my gaze moved to his, but I was no longer interested in hiding the hurt and fear. I let the tears slide down my face. “Why?”

Reaching up, he used his thumbs to wipe the moisture from my face. “Dani, everything is going to be all right. I’ll only be gone a few months for basic training. And the rest we can deal with later.