Letters From Prison (61 page)

3
. Renée-Pélagie had sent him a portrait of a handsome young lad.

*
No offense intended: ’tis only that pork is one of my favorite meats, and I have scant opportunity to eat it in here. (S
ade’s note)

4
. Suffering increasingly from hemorrhoids, Sade compounded the problem by spending as many as ten or eleven hours a day writing. A donut-shaped cushion enabled him to sit for long periods without undue pain.

5
. Rétif de la Bretonne, also known as Réstif. Nicolas Rétif (1734-1806) was the author of some 250 works focusing on peasant life and lower-class women, the most famous of which was
Le Paysan perverti ou les dangers de ville.
Known also as the “Rousseau of the Gutter,” Rétif was thoroughly detested by Sade, who knew him and who thought his teasingly erotic work was detestable. One might add that Rétif returned the compliment.

85. To Madame de Sade

[Late November, 1783]

G
od be praised, here at long last is the letter with the three questions; ’tis some nine months now I’ve been waiting for it, and I’ve been growing most impatient. My case should be made to follow the model exactly, without the slightest modification, and I need it as soon as possible. All the books I asked you for have already been published, and ’tis only to torment me pure and simple that you choose not to send them to me, and verily, ’tis most stupid, and most banal, to play games with me regarding these books. Of all the many crass blunders committed by your guides and counselors, that is the most outrageous.

As far as the case is concerned, I can make neither head nor tail of why it should be an apparently endless problem; all the shopkeepers who deal in this sort of merchandise make cases to order, and to have one made to the specifications I sent you presupposes a certain width at most. But as for the
folie,
not a word. If you aren’t sure, ask your cousin Villette.

You need to tell your shopkeeper that the case is meant to hold
culs—culs de lampes,
that is
¹
—yes, lamp bases and some other little drawings I have made in red ink, and so I beseech you to send it to me, because without it I am obliged to resort to some stopgap measures, which have the defect of wrinkling and tearing my papers and
culs . . .
I mean lamp bases, which is most disagreeable. ’Tis out of pure modesty and so as not to frighten you that I asked you to have the case made eight and a half inches on all sides, for if worst came to worst it could have been nine inches square, using the size of my lamp bases as a basic measure. But I told myself, nine inches square is going to frighten these people who are already afraid of their own shadow, so I settled for eight and a half.

How do you expect me to appreciate the rebuttal of
The System of Nature
if you refuse to send me the rebuttal at the same time you send
the book being refuted?
’Tis as if you asked a judge to render his verdict without having seen the evidence of both parties. You have to admit that that is quite impossible, despite the fact that the
System
is verily and indubitably the basis of my philosophy, and I am and shall remain a faithful disciple of that philosophy even at the cost of my life, if it came to that. Still, since ’tis a good seven years since I last read it, there is no way I can remember it in sufficient detail to follow and appreciate the rebuttal. I would very much like to do my best to see if I have been mistaken, but at least provide me with the means to do so. Kindly ask Villette to lend me the book for a week, no more, and let there be no equivocation on that score, ‘twould be utterly stupid to deny me a book that I recommended to the Pope himself, a golden book in a word, a book that ought to be in every library and whose tenets should be in the heads of everyone, a book that undermines and destroys forever the most dangerous and most odious of all fantasies, the one that has caused more bloodshed here on earth than any other, one against which the entire universe should rise up and destroy once and for all, if the people who make up this universe had the slightest idea of what constitutes their true happiness and tranquillity. Personally, I cannot even conceive that there are people who still believe in religion, and I can only conclude that if they do ’tis only a sham. For in that case, either they are imbeciles, people who find it beyond them to think things through, however superficially, or who cannot or will not make the slightest effort to get to the heart of the matter. For beyond any shadow of doubt, theism cannot for a moment stand up to the slightest scrutiny, and one would have to be completely ignorant of the workings of Nature not to recognize that it operates on its own and without any primary cause, and that so-called primary cause, which explains nothing and which on the contrary requires explanation, is naught but the
nec plus ulta
of ignorance.

Well now, here’s a letter that, I have no doubt, will
prolong
my stay within these walls, don’t you agree? You should tell my
prolongers
that their prolongation is a waste of time, for were they to leave me here for another ten years they would not see one whit of improvement when they do release me, of that you may be sure—either kill me or accept me as I am, for may hell freeze over if I ever change—I have told you before and I tell you again, the beast is too old—there is no longer any hope he will change—the most honest, the most candid, the most sensitive of men, the most compassionate, the most charitable, a man who idolizes his children, for whose happiness he would walk through fire, meticulous to a flaw in his desire to make certain he will neither have the slightest negative influence on their morals nor damage their minds in any wise nor have them adopt any of his own beliefs, a man who adores his relatives (by which I mean blood relatives), the few friends he still has in this world, and above all his wife, whose happiness means everything to him and to whom more than anything in the world he desires to make amends for the many youthful indiscretions—because the fact is,
by her nature his wife is not made for that,
’tis a truth that I sensed and expressed to her a good six months before I landed here; she can attest to that. So much for my virtues. As for my vices, much given to uncontrollable anger, extreme in everything, a profligate imagination when it comes to morals the likes of which the world has never seen, atheist to the point of fanaticism, in two words let me say it once again: either kill me or take me as I am, for I shall never change.

1
. Sade is clearly punning here as well as trying to circumvent the censor.
Cul
literally means “ass”;
culs de lampes
are rounded architectural ornaments generally used on ceilings that resemble the bottoms of church lamps.

86. To Madame de Sade

[First days of January, 1784]

I
beseech you to think most seriously about what you have written me on the subject of my son. This morning I have solemnly sworn the same thing to Monsieur de Rougemont, and if ’tis necessary I shall swear to all of Europe. No reason in the world will make me consent to my son’s becoming a sub-lieutenant in the infantry, and that he shall never be. If you were to allow him to join the infantry against my wishes, I give you my word of honor that I shall force him to leave that branch of service, and there is no means to which I would not resort to attain that end.
¹
Ponder well what I say, and see for yourself the full run of misfortunes that such stubbornness on the part of your mother will necessarily entail. Even were your son to join the infantry with the promise of a regiment in his pocket, I would still resist it with all my might. I absolutely do not want him to serve in any other branch but the cavalry. From the moment he first opened his eyes, that was what I had planned for him, and I shall most assuredly not change my mind. If it takes 20,000, nay, 40,000 francs to bring that about, I am prepared to provide it. I have always refused you full power of attorney as I did the right to act by proxy, and that you know well. Well, then, as far as this matter is concerned I am ready and willing to sell, pledge, borrow, deprive myself of whatever it may take, no matter what, if that is necessary; I am bound and determined that he enter the cavalry. By the same token, there is nothing I wouldn’t do to make certain he does not spend one minute in the infantry. I have been told that you were going to come and visit me shortly, and I was greatly pleased to hear it. If ’tis true, then you can bring along with you, my dear friend, a power of attorney and a notary; I am fully prepared to make whatever commitment you like, provided ’tis to have my son enter the cavalry. But most assuredly, he will not serve in any other branch, that I swear to you once again.

de Sade

I kindly ask that you forbid him to write me again till he has sworn to obey my wishes. Enclosed my letter to him. The errands I asked you to run for me are now six weeks’ stale, which is perfectly ridiculous. ’Tis impossible to use the ointment you sent me. What I asked for was not ointment, but a salve, a salve of the consistency of wax, one that will stick to the part affected and not wipe off the way this one does.

Kindly send it immediately, for I am suffering greatly. And the ointment the surgeon gives me has the same problem as yours; thus I effectively have none at all.

You sent me six useless volumes by Koch. All I wanted was the seventh, and that is not part of the set and is sold separately. Always so much money thrown out the window, and always for simply not having thought things through!

Send me therefore, I beg of you, the works of Saint-Lambert of Delille and whatever new comedies may have appeared; that and the succeeding volumes of the
History of France,
the
Later Byzantine Empire,
and the
Voyager.
Those are what I basically need and want as far as books are concerned, and I beg you to send them to with all due speed.

I am absolutely out of stockings, and have been for a long time now. So add that item to your package as well. Enclosed please find the rest of my list, all of which I know will meet with your approval; in the future I shall entrust this task to a third party, since I am weary of spending my life drawing up lists.

I can see by how the wind is blowing that the conditions for my release are being made more and more difficult, and I sense that to attain it I shall be forced to make some sort of major commitment. I shall agree and consent to any conditions that strike me as reasonable. As for all ridiculous conditions, the sole result of Madame de Montreuil’s whims and fancies, which will go against the laws
of Nature, the rights of a father or of a citizen,
I hereby swear that I shall agree to them as well, because I want to leave here, but I have not the slightest intention of keeping to them.

I am returning with this letter your lovely ointment.

1
. Louis-Marie de Sade, now seventeen, was preparing to join Rohan Soubise’s recently formed infantry regiment. Sade, who had always wanted his son to be in the cavalry, was furious.

87. To Louis-Marie de Sade

[Early January, 1784]

I
have no son capable of joining a regiment of which I do not approve. He may be the son of Madame de Montreuil, but he is not mine; and from you, Sir, all I expect to receive is a letter wherein you will give me your word of honor that you will accept no other branch of service than the one I shall obtain for you. Till then, I kindly request that you not write me again.

88. To Louis-Marie de Sade

[About January 10, 1784]

I
t has just come to my attention, Monsieur, that your mother’s parents have made the decision that you should accept a sub-lieutenancy in one of the worst infantry regiments in France. I forbid you, Sir, to accept that appointment; you are not made for a sub-lieutenancy of infantry, and I cannot and will not allow you to join that branch. Either you will not serve at all or you will under the command of Monsieur de Chabrillant, a relative of yours, in the cavalry.

If in defiance of my express order that you not accept such a post, Sir, I were to learn that you had been so weak as to obey your relatives who, as long as your father is alive, have no right or authority over you, then you may bid me eternal farewell, for I shall never lay eyes upon you for the rest of my life.

Those who encourage you to disobey that order from me will be held responsible, in their souls and their consciences, for whatever misfortunes your disobedience will bring down upon your head, and I shall call down curses upon it if, within two months from now, I have not received written confirmation from you that you have carried out my wishes.
¹

COUNT DE SADE, YOUR FATHER
²

1
. Despite all his blustering, Sade was in no position to carry out his threat. A short while later, Louis-Marie became, indeed, a sub-lieutenant in the hated infantry, stationed at Port-Louis.