Let Your Heart Drive (19 page)

He turns, facing me and I watch silently as he rolls a condom on. In two beats of my heart and he’s lifting me up. His movements blur as his tightfisted hands grip my thighs, spreading me wide and enters me. I gasp at the suddenness, slamming my hips against the sink. I quickly wrap my legs tighter around his waist and focus on his stormy eyes, a brewing darkness controls his watchful gaze over me.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me, Sin?” he growls out thrusting each time with an insatiable pace. He fills me completely and owns my body like a merciless tide ripping at the sea.

I lean in and grip the thin fabric further to the side and watch as his cock slides in and out of my wetness. It arouses me more knowing he’s as hard as he is and demanding the one thing I’m not sure I can give
, again
. My body still hangs brutally to my last orgasm, my sensitive clit is still sensitive. His one hand breaks his hold on my thigh and reverently circles and caresses the one place on me that I have no power over. I throw my head back and abandon it all, letting the devoting sensation overrule me.

“Oh God,
Trey….”

My words turn into a fusion of moans and risqué gasps, but he groans with me louder as he collides with his own release. My back curved, sitting on the sink I feel the heated steam from the shower churning and surrounding us. Concealing our damp bodies in a lazy fog and lust scented air. His unyielding body pulses as he rocks his hips back and then forward one more time, unwillingly he slows his movements. Without a glance or another moan, we stay motionless in the position we’re in, clinging to the feelings, capturing a breath and treasuring the moment. 

With my head still tipped back I whisper, “Is this part of our roadside contract?”

“Yeah…” he grinds out and runs his hand over my stomach. “I guess you didn’t read the fine print.”

“And here all this time I thought it was just mouse printed words to modify the terms.”

“I did modify the terms,” he teases and slips his hand cunningly behind my back. “Just now.” He captures my chin as he pulls us together and claims my mouth. His tongue joining mine and I lose my ability to ground myself onto the bathroom floor, my feet wobble, weak from the sweet agonizing sex. He’s rough when he fucks, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

We end our kissing in the shower, the warm water’s a blessing, unwinding my sore aching muscles one by one. When I glance back at him he tosses his condom in the trash beside the sink and steps inside the shower stall.

“Are you still up for the whole night with me?”

Water trickles down his handsome face and I begin to admire how it enhances his features, his full lips, wet and sober. I’m a hundred percent sure they would make any woman ready to taste him.

I narrow my eyes while I peer up to him. “Are you still up for whatever it is I’ll change into tonight?”

“Like I said, I think I can handle it,” he quips back and grabs a handful of my hair, angles my head to one side and uproots my world as his slick mouth demands mine.

-

I stretch, yawn and flop over onto my stomach, the night was incredible. A tickling nudge here or a faint touch there and we were entangled together.
Sleep?
I think sleep took a road trip. I raise my head up, scanning across the empty sheets searching for the time. His bedroom reminds me of a loft, a rustic bachelor’s pad. No pictures, one lamp, a clothes hamper and double wide dresser.

I sit up, squinting at the gushing sun shining through the window. It’s open, letting the weightless white curtains flutter ethereally. My mind rehashes the night and I beam, carefully I slip one foot down to the floor and wait, wondering where he is.

“Trey?”

No noise comes from the shower, so I quickly dress and splash some water on my morning no-makeup face. On the counter in his bathroom he’s left a new toothbrush, a few extra towels and a note.

Okay… I suck in a nervous breath and brush my fingers through my messy hair, I shake it out trying to make it look thicker, fuller, but it’s no use. So, I sweep a few dark strands over my forehead and feel my stomach rumble. I definitely have an appetite this morning. Before I leave his room, I snag my cell phone, ease into my sneakers and make my way downstairs. I’m literally riding on a cloud today, my steps are lighter, my smile brighter, and I feel completely renewed.

I jaunt toward the kitchen, the scent of food coaxing my steps until I stop in the doorway. There’s no Trey, but Melanie, she’s busy shoving a jug of orange juice inside the fridge with Faith on her hip. 

“Trey’s out helping some of the ranch hands…” she states without looking at me. She grabs her glass, takes a drink and adds in a surly tone, “There’s food on the table, juice and milk in the fridge.”

I note there’s no aroma of freshly brewed coffee, but maybe that’s because bacon dominates the kitchen. I gloss my eyes over the table and just like she said there’s food on the table.

“Okay, thanks Melanie,” I offer and start to take a seat when she faces me.

“Don’t thank me, Trey’s the one who cooked this morning.”

“Oh, well it smells great,” I offer again and grip my hands on the wooden chair. I feel her watching me. I really don’t want to start off on the wrong foot with her, so I straighten my shoulders and look her in the eyes.

“I bought a few things for Faith off the internet the other day.” I shrug and send a quick smile at Faith. She’s so tiny and frail, it makes me wonder if a strong enough wind were to ever come in would it carry her away? She’s holding onto a small silver spoon, adverting her eyes from mine.

Melanie takes a step toward me just on the other side of the table. Her expression hardens as she asks, “Why would you do that? To impress Trey or something?”

“No, me buying something for Faith has nothing to do with Trey. I just wanted to get her something I thought she would enjoy.” I shake my head slightly and tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

“The website said their toys were specify designed for children with autism, if you want I can show you the site?”

Her face scowls making her look menacing. “He told you?”

“
Yes…?
” I question unsure where this is going, she’s seeing me as a threat and all I’m trying to do is talk.

“I’ll have you know, you’re not part of the family just because he confessed something to you or you staying a night,” she scoffs and starts to walk away. She hovers by the doorway and gruffly bites out, “You’re just like the rest of the girls that come and go, they think they can hang on to him and complicate our lives. We don’t need that.
Sinead
.”

I grip my hands tighter on the chair and reply, “I’m not going to complicate anyone’s life, Melanie. I guess he didn’t tell you, but I’ll be leaving soon.”

She stares back at me as if she’s calculating my words and then her face softens as she says, “Well it’s for the best then.”

“Why’s that?”

“Don’t you already know?”

I shake my head, still not sure how to read her.

“He’s in love with you.” She turns on the heels of her boots and never glances back as she walks away.

“All the corrosive emotions of insecurity are biting away at my sensitive guts.”

–Sylvia Plath

The end of
the month prowls around far too close for comfort for me. It’ll be a week before Dad arrives and I mark off the day on Chelsea’s calendar. I clear a few things on her desk, rearrange her Bonsai plants and her other miniature looking trees and huff a string of hair from my face. I can’t stop thinking about the weekend, him, the sex, his sultry voice
and
his sister telling me he’s in love with me. I wasn’t planning for any of this, but I’m certainly not going to complain.

“Still moping?” Chelsea quizzes as she strides into her office.

“No,” I answer with my chin nestled in the crux of my hands. I don’t lift my head up, just my eyes and watch her store her pink yoga mat in a bin across from me.

“God, you have it bad, Sin. Are you sure you want to finish your trip?”

“Nice try, Chelsea.” I steeple my fingers against my nose, thinking. “I have to finish out this trip, you know? Besides Dad’s taking time off and everything, I can’t just…”

“Stay?”

I sit back in her white strange ergonomics chair and drag my hands over my head.

“I can’t.”

She waltzs over and splays her hands flat on top of the desk, a wicked elegant brow pops up. “So the sex wasn’t any good? But wait I thought you
said—
” 

I match her evil guise and interrupt her, “It was mind-blowing, but I’m not making this about sex.” I roll my eyes at her and shake my head like I can’t believe she’d stoop to that level. I gesture a hand toward her and laugh.

“My god, Chelsea, are you finally getting some, more than once a week?”

“Maybe.”

“And now that’s all you think about?” I ask and lean forward on her desk, scoping out the fine smiling lines around her glowing eyes. She’s happy, content and it’s good to see the hindering worry that was always etched there gone. She’s really no different from Trey’s sister, Melanie. They’re only looking out for the ones they love, it’s what family is all about, caring, loving and protecting. And I’m hopeful we’re finding a sensible balance between the overprotecting parts.

She notices her plants rearranged and switches them back and I giggle inside.

“Are you two going to see each other this Friday?” She practically bats her lashes at me as she peers over her shoulder.

I start to answer when a knock raps across her door. Logan steps in and clears his throat. “Hey, I think there’s someone here to see you.”

Chelsea darts a look at me, a wordless inquiring expression shadows her face. I lift my shoulders, her classes are completed for the day, there’s no other appointments scheduled. She tugs on her ponytail and starts to walk out, but Logan stops her and points at me.

“Sinead, he’s here for you he said.”

I tap my chest and ask, “He who?”

Logan gives me a small smile and says, “I don’t know, he just said you owed him a meditation session.”

I laugh and hop out of her chair, cautiously I peek out of the doorway along with Chelsea peeking above me. We scan the lobby and spot Trey by the double glass doors. I haven’t seen him since breakfast, three days ago and it feels like a lifetime ago. He takes my breath away and instantly everything inside me lights up. I feel like a jar of lightning bugs glowing intensely and brilliantly.

“God, you have it so, so bad,” Chelsea whispers above me. I push her away from me and start twisting my hair up into a messy bun. Every footstep feels rubbery and weak but I push out my chest and keep going. I fidget with my grey yoga pants and then tug on my top.

“Hey.” I stop fidgeting and meet his striking eyes, eyes I have missed and thought about every single day and night.

“Hey,” he says completely cool and suave and then his smile breaks. And there goes my weak and wobbly knees, his hands automatically grip my waist just as his eyes flash over my body.

I swallow, grab some composure. “So you came here to meditate, huh?”

He smirks. “Sort of.”

“All right, come on then.” I take his hand, praying it’s not trembling. God, he makes my body so crazy. It doesn’t know whether to burn the hell up with lust or just go pathetically limp. I force my legs toward the Asian mediation room, it’s smaller, more private and I just want to see him in a diverse space. He’s not in boots or wearing a hat of any kind today, tight rugged blue jeans and a simple but fitting T-shirt.

As soon as we enter the room he pulls me close to him and collides his lips to mine. I stoke my tongue feverishly against his, tangling, devouring each other. I feel his hand tightly grip my bottom and I almost moan into his mouth. And then someone loudly coughs. 

Chelsea smiles like an innocent angel and keeps her fist against her mouth. “Ahem, I brought some yoga mats for you two.”

Reluctantly I reach out and grab the mats from her. “Thanks Chelsea, I think that’s all we need.” I ease back and whisper lowly, “
Go away
.”

She doesn’t go away though, instead she swings her eyes over to Trey, ogles him and says, “It’s good to have you here, Trey. Sorry for…ah,
interrupting things
.” She waves between Trey and I like she suddenly loses words to describe kissing.

Trey sends her a pleasant casual smile and returns, “Thanks, it’s not a problem.”

Silence stretches awkwardly and I rock back on my heels and wheel Chelsea toward the door. “Well, Sis, I think I’ve got it from here.”

She digs her own heels in and grips the doorway and waves back at Trey. “Bye Trey, Oh, and you should come over for dinner sometime.”

I guard the doorway for a second or two making sure she doesn’t come back, offering something else.

Trey laughs as he pulls me back. “I think she likes me.”

“Strangely,” I tease and spin around finding his irresistible smile. He takes in the area, one wall splits open to the outside world, and the other side has a pair of oversize Asian Foo dogs that looks like they’re guarding a sacred space. Two sky-blue pots hold leafy tall plants and the lighting is virtuously natural.

“I guess this is where you’ll enlighten me?”

I place our mats down and feel his eyes linger over every part of my body. I swallow hard and slowly turn.

“I’m going to be honest with you…” I say sauntering my way toward him. I rest a hand on his chest and feel the beat of his heart, it quickens for a moment and then finds its normal beat again. It makes my own heart surge knowing I did that to him. “I’m not an expert at this.”

“Well I suppose that makes two of us, because neither am I.”

I search his eyes and for the first time I see the glimmer of gold around the edgy darkness, an amber tint to them and it’s beautiful. I shift my gaze back and forth wondering if it’s the lighting in here. I bite on my lip contemplating whether he’s talking about an expert on relationships or meditation. 

“Okay…let’s start by sitting first.”

“Okay, sounds like a good idea.”

We take our places, him sitting across from me. I make myself relax, breathing in and then out slowly.

“I’ll tell you what I’m going to do, since I’m so skillful on a one minute mediation that’s how we’ll start.”

“A minute?”

“Yeah, well, I’ve been working on stretching out my minutes for a few months now, and let’s just say it’s been interesting.” I situate myself closer, facing him with our knees barely touching and instruct, “Sit comfortable and straight.”

He props his hands upward in the same manner I do and waits for my next instruction. “Close your eyes…”

I close mine, hoping he does the same, because my cheeks start to blush, he’s going to liquefy me into a puddle of nothingness here.

“Now…focus only on your breath, nothing else, just imagine the air going in and filling your lungs.”

The room is absolutely silent, no sound resonates throughout, only our breathing in sync. “Take in a deeper breath and concentrate solely on how that feels. Try not to let any other thoughts distract you from the moment, just keep focused on the here and the now.”

His breathing becomes smoother, more relaxed and I do the exact opposite of what I’m telling him. I listen to the way he breathes and it reminds me of us making love, the sounds he made, the sounds I made.

I subtly shake the thoughts away and try to maintain my own breathing. I quickly lick my lips and continue, “If my voice distracts you or any other sound, don’t judge it just bring your mind back to your own breathing.”

I inhale deeper and quietly breathe back out, keeping it silent for the remainder of the minute. When I open my eyes I discover his are already open.

“Did you close your eyes?” I ask half smiling.

“No, and I’m glad I didn’t,” he candidly states and reaches a hand out. “Because you’re too gorgeous to miss, Sin.” He runs the back of his hand across my face and then drops the tip of his thumb along my lips.

I lock my yearning gaze with his and let the tremor of want race down my body as he traces my lips. As if he’s memorizing the features of my face, he lovingly touches my temples and to the side of my jaw and then down my neck.

“So… I guess you’ll be back for a more in-depth class huh?”

His hand grips the nape of my neck and strokes his thumb up and down leisurely.

“That depends.”

“On?”

“Who’s teaching me?”

I grin. “Are you sure it’s mediation you’re wanting to learn?”

The back of his finger lowers and flows over my top, a securing black zipper is all that keeps my breasts enclosed. He curls his finger and then he thumbs over it and plays with the plated slider. And the whole time he doing this, he’s making my heart ricochet like an escaped bullet inside my chest.

“Honestly?” he asks.

“Yeah, honestly.”

“I just want to know how I can spend every waking moment with you.”

I sigh out heavily, he’s not holding anything back today. I anxiously press my fingers in my palms, calming myself as I start to say, “Well you
know—
”

He leans in and our mouths ignite, our hands scrambling to get a better hold until finally he lifts me into his lap. The tranquil room no longer sanctions silence, but absorbs our passion. I cling to him as if his every breath relinquishes a spark of his soul, a tiny piece of his heart for me to cherish forever and ever. His strong arms cradle me and supports my back as his lips travel downward ravaging my tender skin. I curl in and take control of his mouth, gently bracing my hands along his face. Feeling the way we kiss, feeling and stealing every moment I can from him.

Finally we break apart, lips parted, panting, breathless and he whispers, “So when’s the next class?”