Let The Wind Rise (Sky Fall, #3) (31 page)

The song seems to get louder as I listen, like the wind is cheering me on, encouraging me to make a big mess out of everything—which does seem to be the thing I’m best at.

Eventually I clear my throat and tell Arella, “Don’t send that bird yet. I need you to change the message.”

Cold sweat drips down my back, and I can’t look at Audra as I mumble, “We need to change Audra’s name to Solana.”

W
hy her?”

It takes me a second to realize the petty question came from me. But now that I’ve asked, I need to hear the answer.

I turn to Vane, feeling very small as I add, “Do you truly trust her more than you trust me?”

“Of course not!” Vane reaches for my hands, but stops himself halfway. “Listen to the wind—tell me that line about peace and pain doesn’t mean what I think it means.”

I listen to the lyrics.

Then check them again.

And again.

“I feel the need to point out that I too know the power of pain,” Aston says, his smile making it clear how much he’s enjoying our awkwardness. “As does our captain here. And any of the Gales.”

“Yeah, but the song’s not about them,” Vane says. “Look at the other lyrics. We all know I haven’t always appreciated Solana, because of the way you guys tried to force us together. I bet that’s what it means about discovering my ally’s worth. Plus, she’s the one who got us out of Raiden’s oubliette. She’s also the one who learned the better way to harness the power of pain—though all of this is assuming you’re willing,” he tells Solana.

“Oh, I’m in,” she says. “I’ve been preparing for this my whole life.”

A fresh wave of envy ripples through me.

Especially when Vane adds, “I think this is how it should be. Solana and I are the only ones here who’ve had absolutely no choice about being involved in any of this. I’m here because I’m a Westerly, and Solana’s here because she’s part of the royal line. Both of us lost our families, and have had our entire lives controlled because of Raiden. This is our chance to take back our futures.”

It’s a very honest, well-reasoned, impassioned speech. But it doesn’t ease the queasiness in my stomach.

“If that’s what you want,” I say before I walk away.

Behind me, I hear Vane tell my mother to change the message. A second later the eagle takes off, soaring through the dusky sky in a bubble of Easterlies to fuel its speed.

With that many winds, I wouldn’t be surprised if it reaches Brezengarde within the hour.

I suppose that means I should be leaving too.

But I have nowhere to go.

No home.

No family.

No—

“Hey!” Vane calls, running to catch up with me. “Can we talk about this?”

When I keep walking, he jumps in front of me.

“Please, Audra. I know how this looks.”

“It doesn’t look like anything. You’re right, that
is
what the wind wants.”

“Riiiiiiiiight,” he says. “So then . . . why are you saying that through gritted teeth?”

I relax my jaw. “Just because I agree with it, doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

I try to weave around him, but he manages to block me.

“If you think I’m letting you leave like this, you’re crazy,” he says. “I’ll be super annoying if I have to—we both know I’m good at it. Wait, is that a smile?”

I hadn’t realized my lips had twisted.

“Please,” he says as my face falls back to a frown. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me.” He sighs when I stay silent. “This isn’t you. You’re not like this.”

“Like
what
?”

“Like . . .” He tears his hands through his hair, clearly realizing this is a make-or-break answer. “You’re confident. And smart. And beautiful. And you have to know that I trust you more than anyone. You’re the only girl who has ever—seriously
ever—
mattered to me. I loved you even when I thought you were imaginary. Even when you were throwing bugs at my head and dragging me out of bed at five a.m. for training. I waited for you when you left me with only three words and a dusty jacket—and when you broke our bond, I kept holding on anyway. I’ve never had even the slightest doubt that you’re the one I want—and I don’t give a crap if anyone disagrees. So please don’t let this stupid, unimportant detail make you question any of that.”

It’s another really great speech.

My heart begs me to believe it.

But . . .

I take a deep, slow breath.

“Then why did you turn away?” I whisper. “When I tried to . . .”

I can’t say it.

He reaches for my chin, tilting my face to look at him.

“That wasn’t what I
wanted
to do. But I was trying to do the right thing. You’d been a prisoner for days. And Gus had just died. And . . . I wanted to make sure . . .” He looks away. “I didn’t want to be something you regretted a few hours or days or months later. I owed you a chance to really figure out what you wanted.”

“You’re sure you didn’t also want some time to figure out what
you
want?” I have to ask.

The only thing I’ve ever had to offer Vane is my protection. And now the sky has rejected me as his guardian, and handed my job over to the same girl the Gales chose for him.

Vane takes a step closer. “I know what I want, Audra. It’s you.
Only
you.”

“He’s not lying,” another voice says behind me.

I cringe.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Solana says as she joins us. “But I figured, since this is kind of about me, I should probably be a part of it—a quick part,” she adds, holding out her hands to calm Vane. “There’s really only one thing I want to say. Well, I suppose it’s several things, but it all relates to the same theme.”

“I thought this was going to be quick,” Vane grumbles.

“It is,” Solana says, scooting closer to me. She waits for me to look at her before she says, “The thing is . . . I want what you have.”

Vane groans. “Somebody please kill me now.”

“Oh, relax,” Solana tells him. “I didn’t mean it like
that
.”

She bites her lip, and a bit of her confidence slips as she tells me, “I know you think I’ve been making some sort of sneaky play for him all this time—and I guess I’d be lying if I said there weren’t moments when I was—”

“I knew it,” Vane mutters.

“You’re
not
helping yourself,” she warns him. “But yeah, I’ll admit, part of me wanted to know if I could change his mind—and I figured I had a right to try, since he was betrothed to me first. So I wore my favorite dresses. I tried to give him a chance to get to know me. And none of it mattered—which is what I mean about wanting what you have. I want someone who looks at me the way I see him look at you. And while I’m at it, I want someone who treats other girls the way he treated me: always polite—well,
mostly
—but also always
so
careful to stop himself from crossing even the tiniest of lines. It was frustrating when I was trying to get his attention. But in a weird, backward way, it showed me what I’m missing. So before I face this final battle, maybe it’s time we settle things.”

She turns back to Vane, giving him a sad smile as she holds out her wrist and unclasps the wide golden band of their link.

Someone gasps and I realize Os has moved close enough to eavesdrop.

“Not a word over there,” Solana tells him as she grabs Vane’s hand and drops the link onto his palm. “I’m not going to bond myself to a guy who’s hopelessly in love with someone else.”

“So you’re ready to walk away from your heritage?” Os asks her. “Ready to hand the crown over to
her
?”

“Assuming, of course, that Audra is still even interested in our king,” Aston says as he sidles up to join us.

Vane sighs. “Thanks, dude. And you know what? Let’s talk about that for a second. I was going to wait until everything with Raiden was actually settled. But assuming we survive”—his voice cracks on the last word—“I don’t want to come back to a mess of drama. If we beat Raiden today, you have to consider my plan.”

“And what exactly is that?” Os asks.

Vane focuses on Solana before he tells Os, “We follow the same model as the wind. Four languages. Four rulers. None of this one-king-to-rule-them-all crap. Humans have been trying that for centuries and it’s never gone well—and it hasn’t exactly been awesome for you guys either. But you saw how well the power of four worked when it had each of us channeling our own language. Why would it be any different when it comes to ruling our people?”

“Because four leaders would do nothing but dispute and dissent,” Os argues.

“Or maybe they’d balance each other,” Vane snaps back. “We could keep each other in check. Make sure a power trip like Raiden’s never happens again. Come on, you have to admit the idea makes sense.”

Silence follows.

Even the sky seems to be holding its breath.

I can’t decide if I should be impressed that Vane put so much thought into this, or sad that I’m hearing his plan the same time as everyone else.

“I suppose it depends on the four,” Aston says after a moment. “Vane would obviously be the Westerly.”

“Yeah, I can’t seem to dodge that one,” Vane agrees. “And Solana should be the Southerly.”

“And I suppose you want
her
to be the Easterly?” Os snaps, pointing at me.

“Audra’s fought harder for our cause than almost anybody,” Solana says before I can form a reply. “I’d be honored to serve alongside her.”

“As would I,” Vane adds. “Assuming that’s what she wants to do.”

“Well, isn’t this working out conveniently,” Os mutters. “So who did you have in mind for the Northerly?”

“That one’s harder,” Vane admits. “It should’ve been Gus. But since he’s gone . . . what about Aston? He made an awesome fourth today. And he survived Raiden’s fortress longer than anyone.”

“And cracked under the pressure,” Os reminds us.

“I’d like to see you do better,” Solana snaps. “Besides, what better way to make sure the Northerlies never stray down Raiden’s path again than to have their leader be someone who’s tasted his power and found the strength to escape it?”

“Careful, you’re going to make me blush,” Aston says. “Plus, I’m betting our captain was planning to nominate himself.”

Os denies it, of course. But I can see the shift in his expression. That quick glint of power, mixed with hunger.

Which is exactly why it should never be him.

“We’re not taking
nominations
,” Os says. “I’m not even sure why we’re discussing this.”

“Because I’m about to pick a fight with Raiden, and I need something to tell me I’m not going to regret it,” Vane says. “I’m not asking for a final decision. I’m not saying there can’t be more discussion. I just want you to agree that you’ll at least consider it. If you’re willing to let me risk my life for you, you should be willing to let me have some choice in my future if I survive. At least give the idea a fair try.”

Os rubs the edges of his scar. “Fine. The suggestion will be presented—assuming you survive your fight.”

“We will,” Solana says, and I envy her confidence—and so many other things—as she tells Vane, “We have the sky on our side—though we should be discussing
some
strategies.”

“And
we
should be leaving,” Aston jumps in. “If Raiden finds us here when he arrives, he won’t bother stopping.”

Everyone shifts into action, gathering up the last of the wounded and preparing to carry them away.

Vane grabs my hand as I join them. “Just give me five minutes, okay?”

He leads me to a quiet spot under a leaning tree. I stare at the crooked trunk, wondering if it stood straight and tall before the battle, and if it will ever sort itself out and grow straight again.

“So,” Vane says, “are we okay?”

I try to nod. But the air between us still feels murky.

“I thought it was going to come down to us,” I whisper. “I thought we were going to take down Raiden together.”

“So did I. But I have to admit, part of me is relieved that you’ll be safe.”

“And what am I supposed to do? Go back to my mother’s house? Watch the sky? Worry each breeze will carry your echo?”

“You’re not going back to my house?”

“I . . . don’t know.”

“Oh.”

The hurt laced into that single syllable feels like salt pressing into my wounds.

“What are you thinking?” I have to ask when he shifts his face to the slowly rising stars.

“I’m thinking . . . I can’t hear Gus’s echo anymore. Can you?”

I stretch out my senses. “No. He’s gone.”

“I’m so sorry.” He smudges the tears off my cheeks. “Listen—I’m just going to ask this quick, so we can get it over with, okay?”

He takes a shaky breath.

“When you and Gus were in Brezengarde, did you . . .”

“Did we what?” I press.

He clears his throat. “Did something
change
between you guys?”

The words weave through my head, tying up unanswered questions.

So all this time, he thought . . . ?

“It’s okay,” Vane whispers. “Gus was a good guy. And he was there to help you when I wasn’t. He even gave you his gift. I just . . . need to know.”

It’s my turn to step closer, take his hands, wait for him to look at me.

“We had to lean on each other,” I tell him. “But it wasn’t
that
kind of closeness. I even gave him mouth to mouth and nothing changed between us.”

“Wait—what was that last part?”

I smile at the shock stretched across his face, but it fades as I remember my time with Gus in that horrible hallway.

“He stopped breathing at one point, and it was the only way to bring him back. I wasn’t sure what would happen. But nothing did.
Nothing
changed the entire time we were together. If anything, he mostly tried to convince me that you and I were going to be okay.”

“You didn’t think we would be?”

I sigh. “I didn’t know what to think. Breaking our bond was very . . . confusing. It didn’t take my memories of you. But it stripped away all the feelings.”