Let Me Love (31 page)

“There’s no fight because we won’t be making up. It’s over. His daughter is...is...is...his daughter is Chloe,” I admit to her as much as to myself. My voice doesn’t reflect any emotion. I can almost feel the cold swirling within me.

“Oh,” she takes a deep breath and glances over at me. The rest of the ride is complete silence, except for my phone’s consistent buzzing in my purse. I know who it is, and he can go to hell.

We pull into the driveway, and I thank Sadie. “Let me come in. We can talk.” Her hand covers the keys idling in the ignition.

“No, thank you, Sadie. I need to be by myself for a while.” She gives me a huge hug, and I step out of the car to try to figure out how this happened, but not before I spot Trey’s car squealing around the corner. He slams the car into park as he and Brady get out of the doors.

“Seriously, man, you practically killed me,” Brady shouts at him, slamming his door.

Trey pays no attention, running up to me. He has a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that’s still wet from his body, and bare feet. He’s not going to use his charming ways this time. “Kailey, listen to me,” he pleads.

“NO! Get the fuck out of here,” I scream at him.

He gets down on his knees, begging me to talk to him. “Just listen to me god damn it!” he hollers back. Uncle Clyde comes out to see what the commotion is. Sadie and Brady stand by the car confused and shocked by what’s unfolding in front of their eyes.

“You gave her up once, you’ll do it again. How could you think this would be good for her? Hasn’t she lost enough? We’re better without you. She is better off without you. The best thing you did was give up being a part of her life. She doesn’t need to know her birth father was such a selfish manipulative bastard. Just leave,” I say sternly before walking past Uncle Clyde and into the house.

“What the hell is going on?” Uncle Clyde’s deep voice questions Trey.

Slamming the door, I see Aunt Holly standing at the window with Chloe and Tara by her legs. She stares up at me confused as everyone else. Looking at Chloe, I’m not sure why I never noticed it before. The shape of her eyes, the fullness of her lips, and the hair color—identical to his. How fucking blind was I?

“Give me a second, okay?” I tell Aunt Holly and run upstairs. Bursting into Caden and Jen’s room, I go to the back of the closet and find all the paperwork. Pulling out the heavy filing box, I’m thankful for my sister’s organization skills. I collapse to the floor, thumbing through the typed labels, until Chloe’s name appears.

Aunt Holly quietly comes into the small confines and sits down across from me. She doesn’t say anything, just stares at the papers I’m shuffling through. Medical records, kindergarten registration, then BAM, there it is...her adoption records.

My eyes scan the paperwork, praying I could be wrong. Trey can’t be Chloe’s birth father. That the little girl in the picture was a baby that looked just like her, that the dress she was in could be a common one for that year. My stomach drops when I land on the closed adoption reads, birth parent names are blank. Looking at the date of Chloe’s birth, I calculate Trey’s age in my head.

“How could it be?” I say more to myself, but Aunt Holly answers.

“I don’t know. It’s an unlikely coincidence.”

“That’s why you know he found out where she was. I don’t know how, but he purposely sought me out. All these months have been lies.”

She looks over at me and bites her lip.

“What?” I sigh. She wants to tell me something, but is too afraid of my reaction.

“I think you’re wrong. He’s outside talking to Clyde. Brady and Sadie took the kids to the park. He’s confused and devastated. You need to talk to him, hear his side of the story. This might have been one of those crazy stories you hear about on the internet,” she says with a hollow laugh.

“I seriously doubt that. Out of all the people I meet, it’s the birth father of my adopted niece. Give me a break, Aunt Holly.” As I continue to search through the documents, a manila envelope falls out of the folder. There are three envelopes inside. The first is labeled Chloe, the second Mom and Dad, and the third Sweet Girl scrawled across it in Trey’s scribbled handwriting. My shaking hands attached to my trembling body slowly open the first envelope.

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D
ear Chloe,

I know when the time comes your Dad will give you these letters. I hope you’ll understand the decisions we made about your adoption. Chloe, you are one of the greatest blessings in my life. Dad & I were so honored to be chosen to be your parents. We love you more than we could ever express in words.

Because your adoption was closed we didn't receive any information about the identities of your birth parents. Communication was restricted to go through our adoption counselor. We were told your birth parents did plan to register, so you would be able to contact them when you turn eighteen if you so wished. Dad & I were so thankful for the gift your birth parents gave us that we wrote them a letter to thank them.

Not long after the letter was sent the adoption counselor contacted Dad & me with a request from your birth father. He asked if he could write you a letter. He knew that there was a chance you would never see it, but he wanted to do it anyway. We gave permission, and two letters were forwarded to us. The first was addressed to Dad & me. The second was addressed to you.

After we read your birth father's letter to us, Dad & I made the decision to keep the letter to you private. It was written for you, and should only be read by you. If you’re Dad has given these letters to you, than you must be questioning him. I wish you all the luck on any answers you hope to find. Please always remember, you’re Dad and I love you so much.

I love you forever and always.

Mommy

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T
he second envelope contains a letter from Trey to Caden and Jen. I’m debating reading it. I know these are private words meant for Jen, Caden, and Chloe, but Jen and Caden aren’t here, and I need to make the decision that’s best for Chloe. If it turns out to be true, and Trey didn’t know, would she be angry that I took away her chance to have a father in her life. A man who would be a great father. A man who is a great father already. I pull the letter out of the open envelope.

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I
wish I knew what to call you, but it seems like Mom and Dad is the best thing. Thank you for sending the picture. It means a lot to me. The adoption counselor said you gave permission to write the baby a letter. I wrote her a letter telling her why her birth mother and I made the decision to place her with another set of parents. It also contains all of the information she could use to find me one day. I know in my heart you will know when the right time is to share the information with her. I only ask that you tell her I do love her very much. Thank you for providing her with the parents she deserves.

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I
hold the small blue envelope in my hand, at the handwriting I already recognize. An answer is in the envelope that I can’t turn away from. It will change everything with the rip of a paper and unleash a truth none of us could have though possible. As hard as it is to open, I have no choice. So I allow my finger to run along the sealed flap and take a deep breath before my shaking fingers take the piece of paper out.

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T
o my Sweet Girl,

I stare at you as you lay in my arms. My body torn between letting you go live a life far better than I can give you right now and keeping you with me for pure selfishness on my part. I’m hoping if you ever read this letter, you’re old enough to realize this heart gripping decision was not made lightly. Your small breaths and movements have kept me mesmerized all night. I’ve cried over you, laughed at your squirming, but most of all loved you. If you ever want to find me, please do. I’ve included the information I think you could use to locate me. But if you don’t, I get that too. I hope you have a great life filled with parents who can give you everything you’ve ever wanted.

Please never think I don’t love you because I don’t think I’ve ever loved anything more. It’s my loved filled heart that helped guide me to your parents.

Love,

Trey Michaels

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I
pass the note to Aunt Holly and sigh. Could she be right? Could he really not have known Chloe was his daughter?

Trey

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T
he warm water cascading down my body, leaving small bubbles around the drain has me craving Kailey. We very rarely ever get nights like last night, ones where we don’t have to worry about kids coming into the bedroom or being distracted in some way. I rack my brain for why I never noticed her before. The love of my life has been right in front of me how many times, and I just fucking ignored her. The whole scenario makes me sick thinking about it.

Drying myself off, I do a quick shave. Kailey always likes it when my face is smooth. Opening the drawer, the perfume bottle rolls down. I haven’t smelled that since Kailey and I became so close. I guess with all the events that have unfolded recently I haven’t had much time to think about it. Or Kailey has filled that part of me. Still seeing it there, I pick it up and smell the scent and like always, I’m back in that vinyl hospital chair. She’s in my arms, squirming back and forth as I smile down at her. Then I start hearing Kailey rumbling around in the other room. Her footsteps hard against the floor and swearing under her breath.

Wrapping the towel around my waist, not sure why I bother, I’ll be making sure I take her one more time before we head back. When I open the door, her hand rests on the knob of the bedroom door, already dressed.

She holds up the picture of my daughter. “Who is this?” she demands. I’m thrown slightly, since I told her about the baby already. Not sure why she’s surprised, but I should have shown her already. So she knew everything, especially since we’ve been through so much. She didn’t need to be caught off guard. But her mannerisms scream it’s something else, especially when she starts really yelling at me. I’m trying to answer her, but she keeps screaming.

“You bastard,” she yells. “How could you? I fucking believed you loved me. You manipulative asshole.” Then flees the room.

I bolt to the door, but when I get out the hallway everybody’s fucking there. Brady is the closest, and I’m practically begging him with my eyes to keep her there.

“No, I’m not. Your roommate is a fucking prick, who uses people’s hearts to gain what he wants.” I’m struck dumb. I don’t know why she’s reacting this way.

“Did you all know?” She calls out to all them, their just as confused faces as mine. I have no idea what the hell she’s talking about. “Can you take me home?” she asks Sadie. Oh, hell no. There’s no way she’s going anywhere without telling me something.

She begins to walk down the steps, but stops and points her finger at me. “Stay the hell away from her. Do you understand me?”

I begin to argue, but she continues her rant not even paying attention to me.

“Do you get some sick twisted pleasure on tormenting me? All these months, all the lies. How could you do this to me?” Her eyes overflowing with tears, spilling down her cheeks. “I knew it. I knew there was a reason you pursued me the way you did.” Shit, we’re back to this again. When will she ever understand what she is to me?

She can’t leave without answering me. “Kailey! Talk to me, I don’t understand? Why are you so mad I didn’t show you the picture?”

“Did you think the situation was your opening, and I was your golden ticket? If you think you’re going to get her now because Jen and Caden are dead, you’re mistaken. I’ll fight you till my last breath. Do you understand me?” There goes those unblinking eyes, like small laser beams into mine.

My patience beginning to falter, I scream. “Who the hell are you talking about?”

“Chloe. You gave her up, Trey! Using her mother’s illness to sneak into her life through her aunt’s weakness isn’t going to get her.” I heard nothing but Chloe. Then the realization of what she’s talking about sinks in; Chloe’s the one in the picture. Chloe is my daughter. I want to drop to my knees and weep. What? How? No? Questions race through my mind, small questions bubbling around. “Don’t contact us, and don’t come around.” She runs down the stairs, and Sadie’s mouth is completely open in astonishment. She escapes the house, and I hop over the railing onto the stairs.

“Crap, someone get him clothes. I’ll grab his keys.” Brady hollers behind me.

I catch up to her as Sadie’s about to get in on the driver’s side. She quickly comes up to me, placing her hand on my chest. Ignoring she’s even there, I keep my sights on her. Kailey will not do this to me...to us. Soon Dex’s hand replaces Sadie’s, but his strength has nothing on my adrenaline.

I pound my hand against the glass, pleading with her to listen to me. Sadie continues to back out as the guys pull me back. Rob tosses a pair of jeans and t-shirt at me. I throw off the towel, tossing it to the ground.

“Fuck, man, Mrs. Fletcher doesn’t need a show of your bare ass,” Dex sarcastically remarks.

Ignoring him, I grab my keys that Brady’s dangling in front of me and run to my car. I’m half way down the block when I realize Brady’s in the passenger seat.

“What the hell is going on? What is all this about Chloe?” he asks as I weave in and out of traffic, zooming through lights. Barely stopping at the stop signs, I attempt to answer.

“From what I gather from Kailey’s reaction, Chloe is my daughter I gave up when I was in high school.”

“You had a child?” Brady questions.

“Have,” I clearly state.

“Yeah, that’s what I meant. It’s Chloe? Did you know?”

I take a second to glare at him, and he holds up his hand backing up.

“Does it look like I fucking knew?”

“It’s just an odd coincidence, don’t you think?” Brady mentions, and I can’t help but agree with him.

“Closed adoption. Neither of us knew anything about each other. The parents sent the picture to the agency, who gave it to me.” I admit way more than I want to, but he’s the only one asking.