Let Me Love (2 page)

“That’s right, so where’s your mom right now?” he asks her, and she circles her arms through the air around her head.

“Right again. Your mom is around you all the time,” he reminds her, and I swallow deep, trying to keep a new set of tears at bay. Not being able to take seeing how wonderful Trey is with them anymore, I escape further into the room, cringing at the sight. It was easier when I didn’t have to observe the room of death from this angle.

When I walk through the open double doors, I feel the eyes shift in my direction, and I hear the faint whispers of guests explaining to others how I’m the aunt. When Trey follows close behind with Chloe in his arms, I swear the whispers become louder. “He’s the boyfriend. I doubt he’ll stick around. Just look at him.” I hear someone attempting to discreetly gossip to another. Rolling my eyes, I continue on my way to the front of the room and take my spot next to the casket to greet the new mourners.

As people encase their arms around me, my eyes ignore them and seek out Trey. He’s seated on the floor in the back of the room with the three kids. Drew sits in his lap while Chloe and Tara listen attentively to what he’s saying. Then they burst into a fit of laughter and Trey shushes them, pressing his hands down in the air, signaling to calm down, barely able to conceal his own chuckles. His smile catches me off guard, and my lips turn up at seeing the kids so happy. I don’t know why I expected any less; Trey has been good with them ever since the first day.

“I’m so sorry, Kailey,” a soft voice pulls me back to the waiting line. When my eyes shift, I notice Sadie and Brady waiting to hug me. Sadie’s warm arms wrap around me, and I almost lose my composure. If I hadn’t just cried a river with Trey moments ago, I would’ve been crying in her arms immediately. Brady’s next. He hugs me, telling me how sorry he is and if there’s anything I need, to let them know. I watch them make their way to the back of the room to join Trey and the kids, until I’m tapped on the shoulder by Jessa.

All I can catch is her small smile before her body pushes hard against me. “I’m sorry, Kailey,” she whispers, holding me so tight she restricts my breathing capacity. Grant chuckles lightly before gently pulling a very empathetic Jessa off of me. She quickly wipes her eyes attempting to conceal her obvious emotions. “I’m sorry, these damn hormones,” she remarks, playfully glaring at Grant. She looks so cute with her short, now brown hair. Her giggle is infectious, and soon I start. “Oh, I’m sorry, Kailey. I shouldn’t have made a joke,” she tells me, clearly concerned.

“Oh please, a little humor right now feels good,” I admit, and it honestly does. Caden’s parents disgustingly glance my way, but I could care less what they think. These are my friends, and they’ve been there for me during this whole ordeal. Where were they when we needed them most? Nowhere to be seen that’s for sure.

“I’m glad I could bring a smile to your face, but, Kailey, if there’s anything—” she continues, but I quickly interrupt her.

“I know. I will, Jessa.” I place my hand on her forearm reassuring her that I’ll call if I need her, but the truth is I won’t. She and Grant have enough on their plates right now. She nods her head, genuinely hoping I will, and then Grant comes up and gives me a more relaxed hug than Jessa’s. Thinking how this whole scene must be bringing back awful memories for him, my own empathy sets in. As they walk down the narrow aisle between the chairs and wall, Jessa wraps her arm around his waist, forcing him to look down at her. She gives him a sympathetic smile, and he tugs her closer before they join the others in the back of the room. When I turn to find the next guest, Dex is patiently waiting.

Dex hugs and kisses my cheek. I’m thrown off when he whispers, “You’re making this harder on the both of you.” Then he grasps both my upper arms in his hands, staring down at me. “Kailey, you need him, and he needs you. Let him take care of you.” His blue eyes search my face for some sort of sign that he’s gotten through to me, but I hate to admit it, no one will. My decision is made, and it’s the best for both of us. One day they will all see that. Frustrated from trying to convince me, he finally relents. “Just think about it.” Before I can respond with another polite decline, he’s already walking away. His consistent calling and texting since I broke it off with Trey has started to become a norm in my life. As desperate as he’s attempting to get us back together, one would never imagine he was in competition with Trey for my attention when we all first met.

My eyes focus on the small group of friends in the back of the room, playing with my nieces and nephew. Six months ago, I didn’t know any of them, and now, they’re my best friends. Watching Brady throw Drew up in the air before catching him while Sadie keeps insisting he stops, makes me wish I was them. A desperate need to be the one who didn’t just lose everything in their life consumes my thoughts.

Trey’s huddled in a group with his best friends, but his gaze finds me across the room for the millionth time. Clasping Brady on the shoulder, he turns my way. My stomach lurches when he starts to make his way over. God, the man is gorgeous. His tattoos only add to his hotness appeal. Tonight, even dressed in slacks and a button down, his ink still peeks out from his rolled up sleeves and neckline. That crooked smile he’s throwing my way, knowing I’m mentally drooling over him, is enough to create a need so desperate for him within me that I’d allow him to take me into the back room and forget everything.

The memory of that night, when I had no choice but to end it crashes to the forefront of my mind. The hurt in his eyes when I told him I didn’t love him. How he crumbled in front of me, begging me not to do this to him—to us. Watching him in the rearview mirror as I drove away. Him standing in the street, watching my taillights disappear is just as gut wrenching now as when it happened. Tears that stung my eyes and the hysterical sobs that wailed out of me, aware that I just lied to the only man I would ever love.

Six Months Ago

Trey

––––––––

G
od, I’m already annoyed with these guys. Between Brady and Sadie’s constant love fest and Grant and Jessa’s newfound lust, I’m ready to retch in every trashcan we pass down the corridor. Why did I sign up for this little spring break outing anyway? Oh yeah—the snow bunnies. I can imagine all the little hotties needing me to warm them up after a day on the slopes. Tossing my duffle on the floor, I slump into the seat across from Hulk, also known as Dex. We nicknamed him Hulk our freshman year, not only because of his size but his sudden outbursts that would get us all using a first aid kit after a night out. He doesn’t do himself any favors by wearing the tight ass t-shirts that show off every muscle in his torso. He peers at me over the top of his
Men’s Health
magazine, smirking. I shoot him a confused look, and his eyes shift to the right. Following his signal, I spot the smokin’ hot piece of ass at the end of the row.

I raise my gaze to look at her face, but her head is down, focusing on an iPad, and her body is already in a defensive stance, making it known to every male within a twenty-foot perimeter to stay the fuck away. Although the thrill of the chase entices me, I’ll let Dex have this one. I still owe him from two nights ago, when I snuck in and took that redhead home after he went to the bathroom. Hey, it wasn’t like he didn’t already have three other girls chomping at the bit anyway. I’m pretty sure when I ran into the cute blonde with the huge rack leaving the house the next morning, he’d forgiven me.

I give Dex the nod, telling him to go for it, and stand up to go take a piss. I hate those airplane bathrooms. They’re so small and cramped. Not to mention, I’m always a tiny bit scared the plane will crash while I’m in there. I’ll be found with my pants around my ankles in the bottom of an ocean, and then the sharks— Shit! I’m not going to think about that. On my way to the bathroom, a cute strawberry blonde behind the counter at the gift shop catches my eye. She’s clearly giving me those fuck me eyes I’m familiar with, so I change directions and make a straight line in her direction.

I slyly act interested at a few magazines before grabbing Maxim. Tossing it on the counter, I give her a flirtatious smirk. I’d use a line, but from the way her eyes are currently roaming my body, no need to waste one.

“Hey.” I place a ten-dollar bill on the magazine, but she pushes it back to me and takes the magazine. After digging around in a drawer, she pulls out a black marker and writes something on the back page.

Handing the magazine back to me, she says, “It’s on me.” She slowly moves her tongue over her top lip and winks at me. Shit, she’s good. I’m already throbbing.

“Thanks.” I shift slightly to re-adjust myself.

“No problem,” she replies, leaning forward against the counter, pressing those nice tits together, giving me the perfect view. My hands twitch thinking about manipulating those C cups. “Check out the last page, there’s some really good information there.”

I glance at my watch, and then back at her to read her nametag. “Kim, I’ve only got twenty minutes before my flight.”

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll meet you in three.” She shoos me with her hand, and another young girl walks in. I venture out of the store, flipping to the last page. In big black marker,
‘My tits want your mouth. Door in the back. Three minutes.’
Thank the fucking lord! This is just what I need, a good fuck to relax me before hopping on that death trap they call a plane.

Exactly three minutes later, I walk back in the store, winking at the new girl behind the counter. She smirks up at me, as I continue my way to the back door. I knock softly and peer side to side to make sure no one is watching. The door opens slightly, and I snake through the small opening, closing it behind me. After I lock it, she pushes me against the door, her hands already undoing my belt. Before I can even kiss her, she’s pushing my pants down and falls to her knees. Holy Shit! She immediately descends on me, taking all of me deep down her throat. I place my hands on her head to keep her right where I want her. After only a few more strokes of her mouth, she’s back in my face, thrusting her tongue into my mouth. As much as my dick is enjoying the whole take charge thing this girl has going on, I’m a bit bored with her eagerness.

I firmly place my hands on her ass and hoist her up to me. Her skirt wraps around her waist, and I dig the condom I snuck in my pocket a few seconds ago. She takes it out of my hand and tears it open with her teeth. Quickly, I pluck it from her hands and roll it down on myself before, pushing her thong to the side and thrusting myself deep. She hollers out, so I cover her mouth. Partly because I don’t want people to hear us, and a small part of me doesn’t want her to feel like she could kiss me again. This is what it is, a good fuck in a storage room, and I’m not about to confuse it with anything intimate.

Her arms wrap around my neck, and, soon, she’s bucking against me as I’m pounding into her. Taking my hand away from her mouth, I pull out a tit and grab the nipple with my teeth. She moans loudly when I suck it into my mouth, so I place my free hand over her mouth again, and she bites my palm. Shit, I bet she’s got a torture fetish! Just as I’m sucking on her tit and my cock is fucking her hard, her muffled groans inch louder and she clenches against me. Slowly relaxing in my arms, I give her no time to recover before I let go of her hips and her feet fall to the floor. Bending her over a chair, I push my dick back into her wetness, wrapping my arms around her body and gripping onto her tits as leverage. Thrusting in and out, I shove deeper each time until that feeling I love hits me and everything else in the world is gone and only pure pleasure is left. Before I’m about to blow, I pull out fast and rest my condom-covered cock on her back until it all pumps out.

Then I step back and roll the condom off, knotting it tight and clench it in my fist. She reaches over, and I squint to the bright light she flipped on. After pulling up my pants, I tell her it was good, and she reciprocates the mutual casual sexual encounter politeness. It’s nice she has no expectations from this little rendezvous. Clasping the used condom in my hand, I don’t kiss her or get her number. Just a shared smile before I escape from the awkward aftermath.

I conduct my normal routine, finding the bathroom and checking the condom for any holes or tears over the toilet and then watch the fucker swirl its way down. When I’m out washing my hands, I’m surprised to find Brady standing next to me.

“Where the hell have you been?” he asks. After my smirk, laughter erupts from him and he shakes his head. “Do you go anywhere and not get laid?”

“Honestly—no. You’re missing out, since you’ve got that whole one girl thing going on.” I raise my eyebrows at him through the reflection of the mirror. I’m not completely against the monogamy thing, it’s just I’m always on the fucked up side of it.

“Oh, that’s where you’re wrong.
You’re
the one missing out.” Brady clasps his hand on my shoulder, giving it a small squeeze, before leaving me in the bathroom.

I walk out of the men’s room and back to our gate, where Brady and Sadie are holding hands next to each other, and Jessa’s relaxing in Grant’s arms. They each smile wide at me as I walk by content in their little love bubbles. But they know they’re jealous that I can fuck anything that saunters by while they’re praying every night their girl gives it up. Smiling, I notice Dex has made his move, since he’s now sitting next the hottie from earlier. He must be making his mark because the girl seems receptive, her iPad is now tucked away and she’s turned toward him, which is always a good sign.

I slouch down in the seat furthest from everyone and thumb through my phone, waiting for our flight to be called. That fast fuck did nothing to satisfy me. Don’t get me wrong, she met my criteria; hot, wet, and willing, but I really hope those Colorado girls know how to show me a good time! Jessa said her sister was coming back from college...maybe. Shit, NO WAY! Jessa would kill me, and she’d have every right to.

Our flight is finally announced, and I rise to my feet fast, slinging my bag over my shoulder. After getting no sleep and exhausting myself with... Fuck, what was her name again? Tina? Kate? Oh yeah, Kim. Anyway, Dex better not bother me, I’m in desperate need for recouping.