Let Me Go (19 page)

He grabbed the blonde and dragged her to his
room. He pushed her on the bed and began to undress her, but it all
felt wrong, so wrong. He wasn’t aroused; he was only disgusted with
himself. He felt only anguish, and all his thoughts were on the
brunette in the next room and how she looked at him. She had never
looked at him like a monster before. Not until now, and it crushed
him.

He stood up abruptly. “Get dressed, I’m
calling you a cab.”

“What? Don’t you want to have a good time?”
she cooed.

“No, now get up and get out of this
room.”

“If you’re worried your sister will hear us,
I can be real quiet.”

“I’m not in the mood. This was a mistake.
I’m sorry for wasting your time, but it’s time for you to go.”

She pouted, but obeyed, and fifteen minutes
later she was safely in a cab headed home and Mason was in his bed
in agony.

Chapter 29

When Kat woke
the next day, she had to know if the woman had slept over; she
didn’t know why, but she had to. She peeked into Mason’s room and
saw he was still asleep. There was no sign of his new whore, but it
didn’t prevent the ache still burning in her chest. Mason looked
glorious; he was clearly sleeping shirtless and the blanket had
fallen low on his hips so that she could see the vast hard lines of
his chest and abs. But seeing him like this, and knowing what he
was doing last night made her want to retch. She couldn’t
appreciate his beauty anymore and she needed to get out, but even
as she thought the words, she knew they were useless. Hopeless.
How was she going to get out now?

She went about her daily activities,
although she wasn’t sure why she was doing anything. She knew that
Mason wouldn’t physically harm her if she just stopped. And it’s
not like she was going to try to be buddy-buddy with him, or even
more…at least not anymore. She didn’t see the point in following
his rules. She didn’t care if he took away her privacy.

She kept working anyways, probably because
she needed something to do so she wouldn’t go crazy. She knew Mason
had woken up because she heard him moving around, but he didn’t
come out. He avoided her and when he did come out of his room, he
didn’t look at her. She didn’t know if that hurt more than if he
would have just pretended like things were normal.

“You remember the guys are coming over soon,
right?” was the first thing he said to her.

She had forgotten, but she nodded as if she
hadn’t.
Great!
Just what she wanted right now, to see a
bunch of guys having a grand old time. An hour later, she was
trying to hide her scowl as she watched Mason and Benny laughing
like they didn’t have a care in the world. She was sure they
didn’t. They weren’t prisoners. They had their freedom. They could
go around confusing girls into thinking they cared and then go off
and have sex with just anyone. Then they could get together and
talk about their conquests. Of course they didn’t have a care in
the world.

“Hey Kitty Kat,” Benny called to her while
she was brooding in the kitchen, “Can you get me and Mason another
beer since you’re already by the fridge.” One thing that was good
about Benny, he never expected her to fetch his things for her,
only if she was already standing up or something. She knew he
didn’t mean any harm in asking her, but something just snapped.

“He can get his own damn beer and get you
yours while he’s at it,” Kat half-yelled, half-sneered.

Four pairs of eyes swung to her, shock
registering on all their faces.

“Kat? Is everything okay? What’s wrong?”
Benny asked, clearly concerned.

Her eyes swung toward Mason, and she saw
what looked like guilt in his eyes for a brief moment before he
narrowed them.

“I need to get out of here,” she
mumbled.

“What?” Benny asked.

“I need to get the fuck out of here!” Kat
yelled.

Mason stayed quiet, but watched her with
intent. Benny seemed to be the only one capable of speech.

“What’s going on?” he asked, confused.

“What’s going on?” she mocked. “What’s going
on? Are you serious? I’ve been kept a prisoner here for
months…months. I have a degree, I went to college so that I could
be out in the world helping people, doing something important with
my life, not wasting away here providing free slave labor as a sort
of punishment for something I didn’t fucking do!” She turned to
Mason. “I didn’t fucking accuse you of rape. Hell, I know you
aren’t that kind of guy. I know that whoever did that to you really
messed up your life, and I’m sure you didn’t deserve it. And now
you are broken. I mean, I know what you had to go through while you
were in jail. I can’t imagine that happening to anyone, so I’m
sorry for that. But you, of all people, should know what it’s like
to be living a nightmare for something you didn’t do. I’m not the
one who should be closed off here. I worked hard all of my life to
make something of myself. I was abandoned when I was a few days old
in a gas station bathroom. A GAS STATION BATHROOM!”  She
registered the shock of the guys as she yelled those words.

“How fucking cliché, right? My family didn't
want me; I was bounced around from one foster home to another,
where no one gave a crap about me, but I didn't let that get to me.
I worked my ass off to make a new life for myself. I graduated at
the top of my class and had a job I loved. Social work, in case you
were wondering, asshole, and I have a minor in psych, so I could
help kids just like me! And all that time, I just wanted someone to
show me some love, some affection. I had a few friends here and
there, but because I was shy, nothing really stuck.  But
overall, my life was finally getting on track.  And then, I
finally find a guy who I thought loved me and cherished me.  I
just wanted to be loved so badly, and he knew that; he played
me.  I fell for him so hard and so fast, because he was
finally the first person to show me the kind of affection I had
craved all these years.  I gave him everything.  He was
even my first.  I moved here for him, which meant I lost my
perfect job and whatever friends I managed to have.  But guess
what?  Turns out the asshole wanted me because he thought I
would be the perfect person to control, to mold. So he charmed me,
won me, and then started sleeping around on me and taking his
aggressions out on me, thinking that I’d just bow down and take
it.  I finally got away from him.

“And then, as if my life can’t fucking get
any worse, here I am.  I went from being manipulated by one
man to being kidnapped by another. No it's not fucking fun not
having freedom and it's humiliating actually TRYING to become
friends with your kidnapper while he brings some slut home to fuck!
I’m being punished for something I didn't do! You think I actually
did this to you, a guy I hadn’t met before you abducted me, because
I wanted revenge on you?  Oh yes, I’ve pieced some things
together.  Revenge for what?!  Don’t you think if I
wanted to get revenge on someone that it would be my lying,
cheating, worthless piece of shit ex-boyfriend?  Why on earth
would I do something to you?”  She paused, tired of
screaming.  No one said anything and when she spoke again, she
sounded defeated.  “Please just let me go. You made it
perfectly clear that I'm just in your way, that you want nothing to
do with me. As much as I want to help you get revenge for what has
happened to you, it is not me you should be seeking revenge from.
Please let me go so we both can heal on our own, and you'll never
have to hear from me again.”

She stared at all the guys and then settled
her gaze on Mason, her eyes pleading with him. She hated that she
was so vulnerable right now, especially with him. Images of him
pressed against a woman assaulted her mind, but she shook her head
so she could continue looking him in the eyes. She was momentarily
proud of herself for being able to stick up for herself, for being
able to pour her soul out to the guy who had hurt her far worse
than Seth ever had.

*****

Mason hadn’t been able to face Kat all day.
He wasn’t sure how to look at her, or how to speak to her. Things
had clearly changed last night, and he knew he had fucked up. He
may not want to have a relationship with her, but he sure as hell
didn’t expect to feel like a Grade-A asshole after trying to sleep
with a woman.
Why the hell was he feeling like a cheating
scumbag?
There was no one to cheat on. He didn’t care about Kat
that way. He didn’t love her. They weren’t in a relationship. They
weren’t playing house for the fun of it. And yet, he avoided her,
couldn’t look her in the eyes, and didn’t know what to do. To top
that off, his friends were coming over, and he felt like he
shouldn’t need to fake being happy. But once his friends were
there, he was glad for the distraction. Still, when it came to Kat,
he couldn’t function properly. When his thoughts ran back to her,
he was sullen and distant. He vaguely registered Benny asking Kat
for a beer when she screamed back at him. That got his attention.
Hell that got everyone’s attention.

He finally looked at her, looked her in the
eye, and what he saw broke him. She was hurt, disappointed, and
angry. And he knew he was to blame. Still, he could only stare,
words evaded him. Thank God for Benny. He spoke for him. That is,
until Kat went off on them. Well, on Mason really, and he knew he
deserved it. Except, her words shocked him. He didn’t know any of
the things she spoke about her life. It saddened him, and he wasn’t
sure why. He wanted to get up and comfort her, tell her that she
did have people that cared about her. But he couldn’t, because he
still wouldn’t admit it to himself. And then she told him that she
wasn’t to blame for all his problems. He almost believed her.
Almost.
She was so convincing. And the fire in her eyes told
him she believed it too. Then she referenced last night and he felt
like he had been slapped. She didn’t care about him the way he
didn’t care about her, that’s what she said. And it hurt, it hurt
like fucking hell.
But that was what last night was about,
wasn’t it?
To sever their pseudo-friendship/relationship before
anything began.
Then why the hell did he want to take it all
back?

He waged an internal battle with himself.
Part of him wanted to let her go, let her walk out of his life and
never look back. She was more complicated than he had anticipated.
He wanted to get rid of this constant headache, but he couldn’t. He
forced himself to remember the objective. She was, in fact, his
prisoner. He had wanted that. He had planned that. She almost had
him, almost had him rethinking everything, but almost doesn’t
count.

Chapter 30

Kat watched
Mason, waiting for some kind of reaction, for something, anything.
He seemed lost in thought.
Maybe he was trying to figure out how
to make things right
, she hoped. And then he stood abruptly and
smiled, but it was a cruel, cold smile.

Kat felt like the pit of her stomach dropped
just looking into his gaze. He brought his hands together and
clapped, he clapped loudly and obnoxiously. She flinched before he
even spoke. “Bravo. Bravo! You put on a great show there, really
had me going. I commend you because I even felt sorry for you for a
minute. Little orphan abandoned in a gas station bathroom who just
wanted to be loved. So, what? Because I didn’t show you love, you
turned on me?” He was still clapping while speaking, but now he was
walking toward her slowly. She listened in shock, pain distorting
the ability to process his words. “Quite the actress, Kat. You even
had me believing you cared about me, that is, until you asked to
leave and never look back. Bravo.” He spoke the last word as he was
right in front of her.

He still had the cold smile on his lips, but
it didn’t reach his eyes. His eyes were glossy, almost as if he
could feel the disappointment radiating off of her and into his own
soul. And then she felt the wall break inside of her, the wall she
had vowed would never crumble. With a few simple words, Mason
brought it all down. Before she knew what she was doing, she
brought her hand up and slapped him. She felt a tingle radiating up
her arm, but Mason barely moved. He just stood there, stock-still,
his face an image of confusion. It was then she felt the first tear
break the surface. She turned and ran to her room before anyone
could see.

She closed the door behind her and for the
first time in months, she sobbed. Her body raked with the force of
her crying. Mason finally got what he wanted.

*****

Mason could hardly believe the cruel words
that had come out of his mouth. Yes, he felt she had duped him. But
he knew that her pain was real, raw, and he played off of that. He
knew he could be coldhearted if necessary. He just wasn’t sure that
this was the time. He just needed to push her back, keep her from
gaining entry into his heart, as if she hadn’t already. His own
pain caused the sneer on his face and the words to tumble out of
his mouth.

When he was standing right in front of her,
he saw himself reflected in her eyes and he hated himself. He saw
what his words did to her, and he wished he could take them back,
but it was too late. He held his breath, waiting for Kat’s
reaction. He thought, he hoped, she might get snippy with him,
fight him on his attitude, talk back, but her actions shocked him
frozen. She slapped him, hard. He felt the heat from her hand
scorching his face, but he couldn’t move.
Dear God, he really,
truly hurt her
. He had wanted that, needed that, but Benny was
right, when it came down to it, he didn’t actually want to see her
hurt.
Damn it!

“Fuck, Mason that was harsh,” Chain
commented, breaking through his thoughts.