Let It Shine (14 page)
Authors: Alyssa Cole
Tags: #civil rights, #interracial romance, #historical romance
“I thought maybe I’d missed a couple of months because of the stress and the travel and the work. I chalked the nausea up to stress, too.” She shook her head. “Maybe I didn’t want to know, so I could handle it better if nothing came of it. But I went to my doctor last week and we’re three months along.”
“Sofie.” He pulled her against him and hugged her, tight. He didn’t know what to say, still, but he’d learned that sometimes it was what you didn’t say that messed everything up. Being silent wasn’t an option this time. “I love you. And, look, I know I messed up last time. I’m sorry I didn’t know what to say when you were in pain, back then. I was paralyzed, and I wasn’t there for you. And then I felt like I couldn’t get you back because of it. But I’m here no matter what happens this time. I won’t let you down.”
She pulled back, confusion etched in her expression. “What do you mean? You
were
there for me. You held my hand. You brought me tea and brushed my hair, and made sure I was comfortable. I wouldn’t have gotten through it without you. After…after it was over, you left me little notes every day. You tried.
I
was the one who didn’t want to talk, who couldn’t look you in the eye. I felt like a failure. Or like I’d been punished, or our baby had been punished for me.”
She sucked in a breath. “I didn’t even really know I was thinking that until I said it.”
Ivan's heart twisted that she'd been in such pain and he hadn't known. It had never even occurred to him that she might be feeling guilt instead of disappointment in him. "I've never thought you were a failure," he said, cupping her face and brushing a thumb over her cheek. “Not ever. Come on, you're amazing! It's so obvious to me that maybe I haven't made it as clear as I should have.”
They stared at each other for a moment as the events of the last several months realigned themselves in the light of this new understanding. The awkward silences. The stiff kisses. The stuttering conversations. And then they burst out laughing. It was morbid, inappropriate, and exactly what they needed in that moment.
“Seriously? You mean, all of this time?” Ivan heaved between breaths.
“We were both blaming ourselves?” Sofie finished for him with a high-pitched squeak.
They let out a howl of laughter, one that purged the guilt and the fear as everything that had been wrong between them slowly shifted back towards being right.
“This is gonna be one lucky kid, you know,” Ivan said when they’d finally calmed down and lay slouched against each other on the couch. He eased a hand down to rest on her still flat belly and she laced her fingers through his.
“Why? Because his parents will fight anyone and everyone to make the world a better place for him?” she asked.
“Well, that,” Ivan said with a shrug, “but I was thinking she’ll get to celebrate Hanukkah
and
Christmas. And have the best shorts in her gym class.”
Sofie gave him her creased brow look and swatted at him. “You’re incorrigible.” Her full lips pulled up into a smile that said she didn't see that particular trait as a problem. “And you’ve also been gone three weeks.”
She stood and began walking toward the stairs that led to their bedroom, her fingers busy with the buttons of her shirt. Ivan didn’t move, watching the coordinated sway of her hips as she walked up the steps.
Sway. Button pop. Sway. Button pop.
When she was out of sight on the upstairs landing, her shirt came fluttering down over the banister to land in a heap on the living room floor.
I am one lucky chump
, he thought as he stood and hustled toward the stairs.
“Are you going to keep me waiting, Mr. Friedman?
“You don’t have to worry about that, Mrs. Friedman.”
He took the stairs two by two.
Author’s Note
Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed Sofie and Ivan’s story—these two crazy kids have been bouncing around in my head for years and I’m happy that I was finally able to bring them out into the light. If you’d like to learn more about the Freedom Rides, I suggest the following resources:
- Etheridge, Eric, Roger Wilkins, and Diane McWhorter. 2008.
Breach of peace: portraits of the 1961 Mississippi freedom riders
. New York: Atlas & Co. - Arsenault, Raymond. 2006.
Freedom riders: 1961 and the struggle for racial justice
. Oxford: Oxford University Press. - American Experience: Freedom Riders. 2011. PBS. This documentary is available online at
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/freedomriders/
.
If you enjoyed this story and would like to read more of my multicultural historicals, check out
Agnes Moor’s Wild Knight
, the story of a black woman and her Highlander in medieval Scotland, and
Be Not Afraid
, an African-American Revolutionary War romance.
If you’d like to get updates about new releases and access to exclusive reads, sign up for my
newsletter
!
Best,
Alyssa
About the Author
Alyssa Cole is a science editor, pop culture nerd, and romance junkie who lives in the Caribbean and occasionally returns to her fast-paced NYC life.
When she’s not busy traveling and learning French, she can be found watching cat videos on the Internet with her real-life romance hero. Contact her on Twitter at @alyssacolelit or visit her online at
www.AlyssaCole.com
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