Let It Ride (15 page)

“How was your day?” Kylie asked. She’d stood when he entered the room. He crossed the room to kiss her, but his wife turned her face to the side and offered only her cheek.

What the hell kind of marriage did they have?

His future self let her get away with the evasion and crossed to the bar. “Good. Yours?”

“Good. Are you ready to eat?”

Deacon poured a drink and nodded.

“I’ll go tell Josephine,” Kylie said. She left the room. And his older self watched her go, his expression, now unmasked, one of…longing. Yes, that’s what it was. Longing for something he couldn’t have. Deacon saw then that his perfect life wasn’t perfect. It was cold and almost lonely.

“What’s this?” he asked Mandetti. This didn’t fit his image of marriage, and he honestly couldn’t believe this was what Kylie wanted, either.

“You wanted a marriage without love, and Kylie gave it to you. Neither of you is happy, but you project an image of the perfect couple.”

“This is all wrong. I don’t want that.”

“Then you have to change it. Don’t wait for Kylie to come back to you.”

Could he do it? He knew he had to. He’d been thinking about it since the moment he’d left her alone in the penthouse suite. Some things were worth fighting for. Kylie was definitely one of them.

“You’re right. I have to go to her. Talk to her.” Oh, man, he was going to have to confess his feelings for her and hope that she’d meant it when she said she loved him. He didn’t know if he could do it. But he had to risk it.

Hell, he’d built his life on risks. And Lady Luck hadn’t abandoned him yet. He was ready to roll the dice one more time and lay everything on the line for Kylie.

Mandetti took his arm and they were back in the security booth. Deacon wondered if they’d ever really left. But then, he’d seen many things in this life that couldn’t be explained, such as incredible runs of good luck that left a man a millionaire.

“You’ve got to help me find her,” Deacon said.

Mandetti closed his eyes and a second later his pager beeped. He glanced down at the window display. “She’s at a cabin in Lake Mead.”

Deacon took the address from Mandetti and left. He didn’t call Martha or check in with his duty manager. He just climbed into the Jag and drove out of Vegas like the devil was on his heels.

He realized that his life
was
Kylie. Any life not filled with her love wasn’t worth living. He needed her by his side—not because she filled that faceless image of wife and mother in his head, but because she was the other half of his soul. She was the softness he’d never had. The dreams he’d forgotten to dream. And the love he’d always craved but never would have admitted to.

Deacon made the drive to Lake Mead in record time. She’d rented a cabin that was pretty isolated from the other buildings he saw as he pulled into the driveway and turned off his engine. He hoped he’d have the right words to win her back.

But he wasn’t a romantic guy. The proposal and wedding had come from a magazine. But in real life, in this situation, he knew he had to speak from the heart. Nothing scared him more.

Own your fear or it’ll own you.
That one motto had kept him alive on the streets when he’d been fourteen. And he’d survived. No way was he going to let Kylie slip through his fingers. She was his wife. They’d exchanged vows.

He opened the door and wished he’d brought her a new necklace. But he had no gift. Only himself. Maybe he should sweep her into his arms and make love to her. Not give either of them a chance to talk. Talking had only gotten him in trouble the last time.

He swallowed and nervously patted his suit jacket into place. He straightened his tie and then realized he wasn’t facing an arch enemy but his wife. His wife. The words echoed in his head as he approached the front door of the cabin.

He raised his hand and pounded on the door. He heard her footsteps and then the door opened. Kylie gasped when she saw him, her hand going to her throat.

“How did you find me?”

“We have a matchmaking angel helping us out.”

“Deacon, are you sick?”

“Yes,” he said. “I am sick.”

“Come in. I’ll get you some water.”

“I don’t need any water.”

“What do you need?”

He stepped over the threshold and took her in his arms. “You.”

Lowering his head, he took the kiss that he’d been craving since she’d returned to Vegas and everything had gone wrong.

Kylie willed herself not to respond to Deacon. He was here, which surprised her. She’d expected to have at least a full day before he tracked her down. She wasn’t sure he’d even want to track her down.

The small cabin in Lake Mead had seemed like a good place to think. To sort out whether she wanted to be a two-time divorcée or wanted to stay in a loveless marriage. But Deacon’s appearance raised questions she was afraid to answer.

She’d left because she knew how badly she wanted to stay with him. Knew in her heart that if she didn’t get away and try to think this through, she’d take whatever he offered, even if it meant changing in some way. Because Deacon was the man she’d always secretly dreamed of finding, and living without him sounded cold and lonely.

She didn’t know what to expect from Deacon anymore. She’d realized during the long cab ride here that she hadn’t taken the time to get to know him. Her heart said she knew all she needed to know, but her mind was wary. She didn’t want to be hurt again.

Yet his arms felt so right around her. For just a minute she closed her eyes and breathed deeply. But she knew she was entirely too weak where this man was concerned.

He lifted his head and looked at her. There was an intensity in his eyes she’d never seen there before. And an emotion she was scared to name. Something had changed in him in the short time they’d been apart. “I’m not leaving here without you,” he said.

Her heart beat a little faster. Why had he come? She had to make sure, this time, that he wanted the same things she did. She wasn’t going to jump in his arms and settle for second-best. Deacon had taught her a lot—about herself. She was worth more than he’d offered her. She deserved a husband who loved her. “I said I’d come back.”

“I couldn’t wait for that, angel,” he said, framing her face in his hands. He rubbed his thumbs down her cheekbones. She felt incredibly fragile when he held her like this. She felt vulnerable, too, as if he could see all her weaknesses and doubts. But she also felt hope spring to life in the deepest part of her soul.

He’d come after her.
No one had ever done that before.

“I can’t think when you’re this close,” she said at last.

“Good, don’t think. Just feel.”

He dipped his head and nibbled at her lips. She opened her mouth and invited him in with the tip of her tongue. He thrust his into her mouth. She sensed he was trying to tell her something with that kiss, but for the life of her, she couldn’t figure out what.

They were both breathing harder when he raised his head. His hands skimmed down her back and he lifted her more fully into his body. She felt his erection nudging her center. Her body softened and melted in response. She wondered if she should take him to bed and try to chain him to her with the bonds of the flesh.

No. Sexual compatibility had never been an issue between them. Only emotional agreement, and she still wasn’t ready to abandon her dreams of a loving marriage.

She pulled away and walked farther into the cabin. Deacon cursed under his breath and she heard the door close with more force than necessary. She sat in a large armchair facing the windows that overlooked the lake.

Deacon paced over to her and sank onto the hassock at her feet. “Okay, I guess we may as well talk.”

He sounded so in charge and in control. It frightened her to think that he didn’t have any chinks in the armor he wore around his heart. That shield he used to keep everyone—even her—at bay.

“If you don’t like it, you can leave,” she said.

“I’m not leaving without you.”

“You keep saying that but, Deacon, I’m not ready to go back to what we had.”

He put his hands on her hips and pulled her forward in the chair. His legs slid along either side of hers and she felt completely surrounded by him. “I liked what we had.”

“I can see why you would. But I need to be more than a prize.”

He rubbed his hands over her thighs. She shivered with awareness. “Angel, you always were. It was just safer for me to think of you that way.”

“Safer how?” she asked. She grabbed his wrists to stop the movement of his hands.

“Emotionally,” he said. He twisted his hands in her grip and lifted both of hers to his lips. He kissed the backs of her hands and then held them together in one of his.

“Why?” she asked. Though she was trying desperately to focus on what he was saying, it was very hard.

“Dammit, I don’t want to dissect this. I love you, Kylie. And you’re my wife. I want us to return to Vegas and make a life together.”

She could hear the blood rushing in her ears, and her heart beat so fast she thought she might have a heart attack. Of all the things she imagined him using to convince her to return, love was the one thing she hadn’t dared to hope for.

“You love me?”

“Yes,” he said, that intensity she’d noticed earlier shining brightly from his eyes. “Please come back home with me. My life is nothing without you.”

“Oh, Deacon.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, it is. You know I love you, right?”

“I was betting on it.”

She laughed as he scooped her up in his arms and carried her across the room to the small bedroom. He set her on her feet next to the old-fashioned bed and carefully removed her clothing, then his. And then he laid her in the center of the bed and made love to her. Later he cradled her close and rubbed her back and told her all his dreams and asked her about hers. And finally, being Deacon, he started planning how they would make them all come true. But in her heart Kylie knew as long as she had Deacon’s love, everything else was in the bag.

Epilogue

“C
elebrating, Mandetti?”

I was standing at a roulette table in the Golden Dream. I’d just seen Deacon and Kylie and the couple were definitely in love and together for the long haul. “Hey, babe! I’m getting good at this.”

She gave me one of those haughty looks of hers. For an angel, Didi had a lot of attitude and she was tricky. “Don’t get too confident.”

“I’m the King of Hearts, remember. Confidence is part of the package.”

“Pasquale, don’t believe your own advertising.”

“Why not?”

“Because you don’t need a bigger head.”

I threw my head back and laughed. I’d never admit it to Didi or anyone else, for that matter, but I liked this new gig. This particular job had made me feel good, because Deacon reminded me a lot of the man I could have been if I’d made different choices.

I’d never realized when I was on Earth the first time that there were choices, or that success didn’t necessarily come with the title
capo.

Madon’,
I sounded like a
gavone.

“What number are you betting on, Pasquale?”

“Seven, babe, what else?”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “I’ll take eleven.”

The roulette wheel spun and the ball dropped on black seven for a second and then popped up to stay on red eleven. “Cheater.”

“I’m an angel. I don’t have to cheat.”

She disappeared and I watched her go.
Madon’,
I must be getting soft from doing this job, but for a minute I actually missed her.

ISBN: 978-1-4268-8297-5

LET IT RIDE

Copyright © 2004 by Katherine Garbera

All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Silhouette Books, 233 Broadway, New York, NY 10279 U.S.A.

All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.

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^*
King of Hearts