Let Go (5 page)

Slowly he
opens his eyes realizing it’s morning, the sun lighting the small
space that is officially his room at least for a little while. The
nightmares come most nights taking him back to that night. He saw a
counselor in prison but his guilt is just too great for anything to
have an effect. He rolls over savoring the fact that he’s able to
wake up in his own time. There are no guards or alarms controlling
when he gets up. He looks to the clock smirking, still seven
o’clock though. Eventually his body will adjust.

He realized
last night watching Trinity interact with Parker that his stay is
going to have to be short. As much as he hates to admit it, she was
right, things have changed and she is different now. Every part of
him is in protest against her being with someone like himself but
fighting her on it will only push her closer to Parker and further
away from him. He can only hope that in time she will realize being
with someone like him isn’t a forever deal.

He rises out
of bed and heads straight for the shower. Parker wants to take him
to the gym today, no doubt to see if he still has it. But Greylan
isn’t sure if his time has passed. Five years is a long time in the
life of a fighter.

He strolls
into the kitchen to a similar scene from the night before. Trinity
is at the stove pouring pancake batter into a skillet, the sizzle
of the hot butter filling the room. Parker who is seated at the
table with a glass of juice turns and asks, “Hey dude, did you
sleep well?”

Greylan nods,
angling for the fridge to pour some juice. Trinity crosses the
kitchen and smiles while snuggling into his side. She claims,
“Grey, I am so glad you’re home.”

This lifts his
lips causing a chuckle, “Um, Trin, I think I’m going to see about
an apartment soon.”

She releases
herself and directs her attention to the pan on the stove.

“Greylan, you
just got out. Why don’t you give it some time? You know you can
stay as long as you need. Parker tell him.”

Parker pipes
up, “Um yeah, Greylan, as long as you need.”

Greylan sinks
into a seat at the table mumbling to both of them, “Thanks.” Still
set on this being very short term. His sister with a guy is just
wrong for him to see. He still feels responsible for her and every
part of him declares that this guy needs an ass kicking for even
thinking about it.

An hour later
Parker is speeding through the east end down a series of side
streets. Greylan is situated in the passenger seat, bracing himself
for more changes. He borrowed a bag and extra gloves from Parker.
He has a feeling that Parker really does want to get him on the
mat. Today though, he just wants to feel things out. He’s not sure
if he still has it or if he even wants to fight anymore.

A final turn
down a narrow street with brick buildings rising up on either side,
Parker slows the car. He glances over at Greylan just as he spots
the sign above the entrance ahead. Parker shifts the car into park
and waits for the question.

With a
thoughtful shake of the head Greylan asks, “Is this a joke?”

Parker smirks
and answers, “Afraid not. When you left, Carlo decided not to be a
one on one anymore. He opened Carlo’s Fight Ring not long after, to
my understanding. I strolled in one day just needing a place to
train and we hit it off. He supports my fights. Actually I probably
wouldn’t be where I am without him.”

Greylan looks
to his lap and back up at the old building in front of him. Quietly
he states, “Carlo is good at that.”

He climbs out
before Parker can say anything else. At this point all of the
similarities between he and Parker are starting to tick him off.
Training with his trainer and engaged to his sister. It seems more
that Parker is living the life that he left and more than anything
he wants to hit the guy.

Greylan grabs
the borrowed bag from the backseat and asks over the roof of the
car, “Does Carlo know I’m out?”

Parker nods,
“I told him I’d bring you by, depending on how things went last
night. He was sure you would beat my ass as soon as you found out
about Trinity and me.”

Greylan
laughs, “Carlo knows me well.”

Parker leads
the way through the glass door emblazoned with two black gloves
knuckle to knuckle, his emblem for the gym. As soon as Greylan
passes the threshold a loud tsking sound fills the room. Across the
wide expanse he spots Carlo shaking his head smiling while he
taunts. He is leaning on the wall near red and blue mats while a
fighter trades punches with a trainer. They close the space as
Carlo looks to Parker remarking, “No black eyes or bruises. Maybe
prison softened him up. I was sure you would show up with your ass
beat or an arm in a sling.”

This brings
memories back to Greylan. Years ago, Carlo would taunt him
threatening to take Trinity out on a date. He would get pissed and
it kept his focus. Carlo would never even consider pursuing her,
he’s twice her age but the teasing always helped him focus his
anger in the right place. He always knew Trinity was a soft spot
for Greylan because he was the only one left to take care of her.
Now he wonders himself, why he didn’t kick Parker’s ass.

He hesitates a
moment but the big, bald man steps across the mats and takes him
into a tight hug. Greylan notices when he releases him that the
wrinkles at the corners of his eyes are more pronounced and a gut
that was non-existent five years ago, has appeared. Carlo eyes him
up and down and remarks, “Well Grey, you sure haven’t changed
much.”

He grabs his
protruding stomach and laughs in a deep tone, “Wish I could say
that’s the case for the rest of us.”

He glances
over to Parker and adds, “You, Harris, need to go and train
elsewhere. I know you want at him but give him at least a day to
get back in.”

Parker nods
and looks to Greylan, “Let me know when you’re done and ready to
go.”

As Parker
strides across the room, Carlo turns to Greylan, “It’s really good
to see you. It was a bad deal that you got.”

Greylan waves
him away, “Don’t get sentimental on me Carlo.”

Carlo slaps
him on the back and calls, “Sentimental, this guy, never. But it is
good to see you. Do you wanna get in the ring or work out a
little?”

Greylan looks
to the ring nearby. Memories of the many times he was in the cage
come back to him. The thought of what might have been has haunted
him for the past five years. He has re-enacted every possible
alternate scenario in his mind. What if he wouldn’t have gone
looking for Meyer or if he would have hesitated a moment longer
before landing his fist across Theodore James’ face. The agonized
expressions of Theodore’s family when Greylan was sentenced; haunt
him. He would go back to that day in a moment if it would take away
the fact that he took Theodore’s life.

The ring seems
to tease him. He wants in but he’s afraid of the hurt he could
cause. He worked out every day in prison if for no other reason
than out of habit.

Carlo takes
his silence as an answer, “Let’s just throw some punches today. I
know Harris wants to see what you’ve got and I’m sure you have a
good reason for beating his ass but it can wait. He’s been at it a
while but you are just coming back.”

Greylan nods
in agreement although he’s not sure if he’s still cut out for it.
The cage is relentless and always changing. Anyone, including
Parker, who is in there now, has five years on him.

He takes off
his shirt, fits a head guard over his head and bites his mouth
guard. By the time he climbs into the ring and slides his hands
into the borrowed gloves, Carlo has relocated the other fighters
that were sparring and grabbed a punch mitt. He orders, “Just light
punching today, Grey, get a feel for it again.”

Greylan nods.
He steps forward and moves his feet back and forth as recognition
fills his bare feet. He holds his hands up in front of his face in
a guarded stance. Finally after rotating a few times he throws a
punch into the mitt. His arm recoils instantly but another from his
other hand follows. Encouragement from Carlo pushes him to
continue.

His body falls
into a familiar routine of moving and throwing hits. All the while
Carlo exclaims, “Great, get lower, Grey or hit harder.”

He loses
himself as he has so many times before while training. The movement
of his muscles becoming something he’s missed for so long now. The
drone of Carlos’ encouragement is pushing him on. He dances with
the mitts as if they are his opponent, trying to judge the next
move or step they’ll take.

After an hour
an audience has gathered around the ring. Parker among them calls
out, “It looks like I might be up for a challenge.”

Carlo shushes
him, “Harris, I told you to leave it alone. You don’t know Grey, if
you keep prodding, he’ll get you when you least expect it.”

Parker laughs,
“That’s what I’m counting on Carlo.”

Greylan stops
for a moment distracted by the banter. He looks over at Carlo, then
past his shoulder to Parker. He waves Parker into the ring. Carlo
shakes his head protesting, “Grey, he’s pro now. You aren’t ready
yet. Give it time.”

Greylan
watches Parker come around him while fitting his head into his
gear. Greylan removes his mouth guard, glances over to Carlo and
states, “This’ll be a good crash course for me. Catch me up on what
I’ve been missing.” He looks on to Parker and continues, “And it’ll
give me a place to take out my anger at him for living with my
sister.”

He fits the
guard back into his mouth as laughter and ribbing at Parker erupts
from the other people in the gym watching the scene.

Greylan hits
his black gloves against Parker’s red ones. They rotate around each
other once, twice, three times before Greylan throws the first
punch at Parker’s face. Parker’s arm comes up in an instant
blocking the contact. His other hand rounds to the side of
Greylan’s face forcing it in the other direction. His head moves
with the contact. His feet stagger back a moment before he regains
his stance. A deep breath and he moves around Parker again. This
time he lands a roundhouse kick in Parker’s side. It barely affects
him though. A step backward and he’s surging back at Greylan with a
casting punch but Greylan is expecting it and he moves maneuvering
into a clinch, with his arms wrapped around Parker’s chest. Parker
grasps him around the back and moves throwing him down onto the
mat. Greylan struggles and loses his grasp around Parker as he
lands on his back. Parker lands on top of him.

Carlo calls
out, “I told you Grey, he’s fast. But remember this is the dude
that is sleeping with your sister.”

Carlo’s words
have the effect he had intended. Greylan moves his legs up in a
triangle grasp around Parker’s head and arm. But taking Greylan by
surprise, Parker comes down on him with an elbow in the gut causing
his legs to loosen. Parker maneuvers to the side an instant later
and Greylan plays right into his plan. He slides to a sitting
position but Parker is too fast. His arms come around him from
behind in a choke forcing his forearm into Greylan’s windpipe.
Greylan realizes he’s done so he taps Parker on the arm. Parker
releases him and stands helping Greylan to his feet. Carlo climbs
up onto the mat shaking his head, “I told you Grey, he’s fast. You
need a lot more training to grapple with this one.”

Greylan has
anything but hard feelings toward Parker. Yes, Carlo’s comment
about Trinity was a low blow and pisses him off because it’s
probably true, but being on the mat again, has helped him come to
the conclusion that this is not something he can so easily give up.
Fighting is something he needs, almost as much as he needs to
breathe.

A soft sound
echoes through his thoughts. He winces and his whole body shakes
with the realization of what the noise is. He opens his eyes
staring at the ceiling. Theodore James’ lifeless body skirts past
his vision. He closes his eyes trying to shake the nightmare. He
knows without a doubt this is what he deserves. He is forced on
most nights to relive that moment when the life seeped out of the
other man’s body. But he shudders every time, at the thought of it
being all his fault.

He shifts from
the bed and heads for the shower. He has a meeting with his parole
officer and then he’s back to the gym with Carlo. Parker arranged
yesterday for him to drive his other car for a while, a white Ford
pick-up loaded with leather and everything else Greylan doesn’t
think a rugged truck should have. Maybe there are some differences
between him and Parker after all. Greylan sees the necessity in
things. Parker seems to need the flash. Maybe it’s just their
respective backgrounds. Although he knows very little about
Parker’s background except that he was brought up by a wealthy
family in a more lush part of Jersey. This would explain his
preferences anyway. For Trinity’s sake, he has every intention on
finding out as much as he can about the guy. Greylan shakes his
head in disappointment every time he thinks about the choices his
sister has made while he was gone.