Lessons in SECRET (3 page)

He’s right. I know he
is. I’m not going to be a virgin for much longer, no matter what
happens in my “real” personal life. I just thought I’d be in
love for my first time. Maybe not
true
love
, but love all the same. I already like Mase a lot,
but love isn’t in the equation. Yet. I know it could be, and maybe
that’s good enough.

It’s definitely
better than Kurt, or some other creepy stranger getting to be my
first. Audrey and Ainsley
will
help me with the clients, but I can’t fake it if I have
to perform an audition. And I don’t know if I could survive that
being my first time. I’m trying hard to act tough, but I’m not.
And everyone in this room knows it. Nate’s just the only one blunt
enough to tell it like it is.

“Thanks, Nate. I
hadn’t thought of it that way. And I don’t want my first time to
go down like that. I should be going.”

“I meant what I said,
Isa. I can assign someone else,” Reina tells me.

“No. I joined the
Society because I wanted to make a difference. It’s not fair to
everyone else if I just stay buried in my books while they take
risks.”

“You’ve helped on
every mission. Don’t discount what you’ve contributed.”

“I’m not. I just
know I need to do more. I
need
to be out in the field sometimes. It’s only fair.”

Reina nods because she
understands. She hasn’t been on a mission since I’ve been here.
She was already being groomed to take over when I was hired, and she
spends most of her time behind the scenes now. I don’t know that
she misses being out in the field, but she told me once that she
feels bad about telling people what to do, and doing none of it
herself. No one begrudges her, though. She’s an amazing leader—and
friend—to all of us.

We all say our
goodbyes, and I walk out of the conference room. I text Mase and give
him directions to my apartment. I tell him we’ll be safe there.
Which we will. All of us live there, except for Ainsley and Faith who
live with their guys. The place is more secure than a military base.
Mase texts back that he’ll bring dinner, and I smile when I think
about seeing him again. Kissing him again. And maybe more. No,
definitely
more. If I
think of this as just another thing to be done, it’ll make it
easier. Yeah, right.

Mason

I pull up to the
underground garage that Isa told me to park in. The guard at the gate
comes across like a normal rent-a-cop, but I know better. I can see
the military training, even if he’s trying to hide it. I’m
surprised that she’s invited me into her private lair so soon. But
then again, I’m not. Our kiss yesterday nearly set me on fire, and
I know it affected her as well. I should’ve left it at just that
kiss, but I’ve decided not to deny myself what I want because my
window of opportunity isn’t going to last too long.

After getting into the
garage, I take the elevator—which opened and started moving on its
own—to the lobby. There are several more guards here. I’m
honestly impressed with the level of security. I suspected that it
would be secure since Isa said that we’d be safe. But this is
beyond even what I imagined. I’m kept at the one large desk there
until Isa comes out of an elevator to fetch me.

“Hi, Mase. Sorry
about the wait,” she says.

“I’ve only been
here a couple of minutes.”

“I know, but still. I
wanted to be down here when you arrived, but my friend Stella said I
had to change.”

I’m actually a little
disappointed that she changed. She took off the sexy as sin dress
that she wore to school today and replaced it with jeans and a thin
sweater. Her dark blonde hair is in a long braid over one shoulder,
and she has no makeup on. “You look beautiful as always.”

“Thanks.”

I’m surprised when,
instead of walking back to the elevator she just got out of, we walk
down a hallway behind the security desk. “Where are we going, Isa?”

“Oh. I thought we
could hang out in one of the lounges down here.”

“I thought this is
where you live.”

“It is.”

“But you don’t want
me in your apartment?”

She shouldn’t want me
there. But fuck if I’m not disappointed. My cock is practically
crying out in despair, too. We were both looking forward to some
naked time. I won’t push, though. Kurt has something planned for
her, and she’s not going to have a choice soon. I’ll give her one
with me.

She bites her lip
before answering. “I
do
want
you there. But my apartment is…umm…not sexy or glamorous.”

“Is it covered in
bookshelves?” I ask as I lean my head down towards her.

“Y-yes.”

I kiss along her jaw
and down to her neck. “Is there a bed?”

I feel her nod as I
nibble on her ear. I suck and lick as she holds on tight to my
biceps. I nudge her loose sweater off one shoulder as I continue
covering every exposed bit of her with my mouth. She tilts her head
back as her nails dig into me. I move back up and nuzzle her neck
before speaking again.

“I want you, Isa. You
are the sexiest thing I’ve seen in a long time. Your brain is so
fucking sexy, and your body has had me hard all day. I want to go
upstairs and show you just what you do to me. But I won’t push. If
you’re not ready for that, we’ll stay down here.”

“My apartment looks
like a library,” she blurts out.

“And you’re the
sexy little librarian who’s going to let me take her against those
books,” I say against her neck.

“Yes,” she sighs.

I smile as she takes my
hand and practically runs back to the elevators. We barely make it
inside her apartment before I drop our dinner, and take her into my
arms. She’s not hesitant like she was the first time we kissed.
This time she’s biting my lip and twirling her tongue around mine.
It’s got me even harder than I already was, and I worry that I’m
going to come in my jeans like a horny teenager. I’m definitely
horny, but my teen years are long over so I need to at least pretend
that I can control myself. I pull away from her, and look in her
eyes.

“I need you now,
babe.”

“Please.”

I practically rip off
her sweater, and I do rip her bra as I tear it off her. I stop to
stare at her perfect breasts that will fit nicely in my hands, but
Isa starts pulling at my shirt, and I reluctantly shift my focus to
helping her get it over my head. We take care of our jeans ourselves,
and then we’re standing in front of each other in our underwear
only.

I growl as I look at
her tiny pink lace thong that barely covers her front, and I know
won’t cover anything in back. Fuck. I’m not going to last long
this first time. Especially when she reaches out to stroke me through
my boxer briefs. I grab her hand to stop her, and she tries to jerk
away as her cheeks redden.

“You didn’t do
anything wrong,” I tell her. “I just want to be inside of you
when I come.”

“Me touching you
would make you come now?”

“Oh yeah.”

She gets a big smile on
her face. She looks confident and a little cocky. I like it. A lot.
Too much.

I have enough presence
of mind to reach for my pants, and grab a condom before taking her in
my arms. I kiss her hungrily while I slide my hand down her stomach.
Moving my fingers beneath that lace, I feel how wet she is for me.
She sighs as I start to stroke her, pleased that she’s so ready.

“I can’t wait, Isa.
I’ll make you come while I’m in you.”

I don’t wait for a
response as I grab a handful of that thong and pull, tearing it from
her body. I pick her up and carry her to one of the bookshelves
lining the walls. She wraps her legs around me, and I push her
against the books and hold her with my upper body as I push my briefs
down just enough to free my cock, and cover it. I’ll be romantic
later. I need inside of her now.

I line myself up and
cup her face with my hands. I need to be a little bit sweet with her
even though I feel out of control. She deserves more than an
animalistic fuck, but that’s what I’m about to give her. Weeks of
watching and wanting have made my control almost non-existent. I hope
this one little gesture will tell her that I’m not an ass. Even
though I am. I have no doubt about that, but I need to hide that from
her as long as I can.

I kiss her sweetly and
then slam my way home. She screams as I pin her to the books, and
it’s not from pleasure. She’s too tight, and no. Fuck no. What
have I done?

“Oh my God, Isa. No.
Why didn’t you tell me you’re a virgin?”

* * *

Isabelle

I feel like I’ve just
been torn in two. I should’ve slowed things down, but I wanted him.
And I told myself it wouldn’t be so bad. But it kind of is. Since
he hasn’t moved since he realized he’s my first, I’m getting a
little used to it. To him. But it still hurts like hell.

“Well, I’m
technically not one anymore,” I try to joke as he looks at me in
horror.

“You should’ve told
me. I wouldn’t have…I would’ve been gentler. Where’s your
bed?”

“I want it here.
Against the books like you said.”

“No, babe. This isn’t
where you want your first time to be. Let me love you right.”

Why do men have to be
so hard headed sometimes? I know what I want. And as the pain recedes
to a slight burn, I start to move. “I want it
here
.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes. Now do it.”

He starts moving, but I
can tell he’s still holding back. I won’t mention it though
because while the pain has lessened, it isn’t gone. And I know I
won’t have an orgasm with him inside me. At least not this time.
But I want to know that I made
him
find his pleasure.

“You okay?” Mason
asks me. He hasn’t stopped moving. I’m honestly not sure if he
can. I may not have done this before, but I’ve read a lot about it.

“It’s getting
better.”

“Enough to come?”

I can’t lie. “No.
Not this time.”

“Shit.”

I lean forward and kiss
him, trying to convey that it’s okay. He kisses me back and starts
to move a little faster. It’s not long before he’s shuddering
inside me and whispering my name against my lips. He slides out of
me, but doesn’t put me down. Instead, he turns me sideways so he’s
holding me in his arms.

“I’m so sorry, Isa.
Show me where your bathroom is so I can take care of you.”

I point to the
staircase before speaking. “There’s nothing for you to apologize
for. I didn’t tell you I was a virgin.”

“But I should’ve
known. You were hesitant when we kissed. And you give off a vibe. I
just let my cock lead me.”

Time to be even more
honest. It may scare him off, but he deserves it all. “I was
hesitant because that was my first kiss.”

“Jesus,” he says as
he almost drops me. “I’m totally going to Hell.”

I laugh as he sets me
on the counter in my master bathroom. “No you’re not. It was
great. This wasn’t exactly, but I wanted my first time to be with
you. And not…not with some random guy Kurt’s going to hook me up
with. Or Kurt. Or his boss.”

“Kurt’s not going
to touch you, Isa. I promise you that.”

“But you can’t
promise anything else.”

“I’ll do what I can
to protect you,” He says as he runs a warm washcloth over me. I
flinch a little when he gets between my legs, but he kisses me softly
to distract me while he washes me up.

“Thanks, Mase. But
I’m the trained professional. I need to take care of myself. The
women I work with have done things to make sure a mission is
successful. It’s not officially part of our job, but they’ve done
what they had to in order to save people. I can do those things too.
Especially now that we did this.”

“Isa, this wasn’t
good for you at all.”

“It
was
.
I mean, yeah, the act itself was painful, but I did it with you.
Someone I like. A lot. And next time will be better, right?”

He just stares at me
for a moment, and I’m scared that I said the wrong thing. Maybe he
doesn’t want more than one time. Or maybe the thought of me having
to sleep with a random guy is turning him off. I can understand that.

“I’m going to do
everything I can to not sleep with someone else. I promise. I don’t
want to do that. At all. I swear.”

“I know, babe. I just
wish the people you work with didn’t put you in this situation.”

What? I’m getting a
little angry now. “They didn’t. I told you it’s not part of the
job. Reina even offered to take me off the mission. No one I work
with would ever ask me to do something like this. They wouldn’t ask
any of us. Some of the girls just view sex as a more casual thing, so
it doesn’t bother them if they’re put in that situation. I chose
to do this, and I’ll see it through. The girls who don’t want to
be part of what’s going on deserve my help. And so do the ones who
want to do it. Because I don’t think they really understand just
what they’re doing to themselves.”

“I didn’t mean to
make you angry, Isa. I don’t know how your employment works, and I
wanted to make sure that you’re protected. I’m still going to do
what I can, even if you think it’s not much.”

“I
am
protected. Over-protected, actually. They all treat me like a piece
of china that might break. But I’m strong. I’ll take their help,
and yours, because I’m smart enough to know that everyone needs
help. But I’m capable of taking care of myself.”

“Duly noted,” he
says with a smile and kiss on my nose. “Now, how about taking a
bath with me? We’re not going to have our second time tonight, but
I still want to make you feel good.”

“I’d like that.”

And I do. He’s gentle
with me, and after washing and drying me off, he uses his mouth on me
in ways I’ve only read about. Not in the place that’s begging for
him, because he says he knows I’m still sore, but everywhere else
on my body. He worships my breasts like they’re temples built just
for him, and I nearly fly off the bed when he sucks on the sensitive
place behind me ear. It’s way better than reading. I think I may
have lost a few brain cells, even. He smiles when I tell him that,
and tucks me into bed before kissing me goodbye. I want him to stay,
but he has no other clothes with him, and it’s a school night.
Hopefully I can still act normal around him tomorrow. And for however
long this mission lasts. Because I think the “like” could turn
into that other “L” word, and for once in my life, that doesn’t
scare me.