Lessons in Love (14 page)

“Quit cheerleading?” Alex felt panicked by the prospect. Being a cheerleader defined her at Woodsdale High. Without being head cheerleader, she would be nothing.

“You just won’t have the time to practice or attend games,” Mark explained.

Alex glanced down at her uniform and wrapped her arms around herself protectively.

“You need to see the bigger picture,” Mark urged her. “I know how important you think it is to fit in right now, but in four months school will be over, you’ll graduate and no longer be a cheerleader but have nothing else waiting for you.”

He was right. Alex knew he was right. As much as it terrified her, Alex knew it was time she put her costume away and finally looked after her real self.

“Whatever I need to do, I’ll do it,” she told Mark sincerely.

“You won’t regret it.” Mark smiled fondly at her.

“I hope not.” Alex sighed, looking at the cheerleading uniform that she would soon be retiring.

****

“You cannot be serious!” Claire cried, her face contorting in utter despair as though she had just been told that the world would be imminently ending.

“It’s just for a while,” Alex answered, keeping her eyes locked to the ground to avoid Claire’s despairing looks.

“I don’t understand. How can he make you do this?” Claire asked in disbelief.

The girls were sitting beneath a tree, sheltering from the afternoon sunshine. Around them various students were sprawled out on the grass. Some enjoying a passionate embrace, others listening to music, some even studying.

Alex and Claire sat side by side beneath a large oak. Alex had waited until lunch period to tell her the dramatic news that, for a while at least, she wouldn’t be cheering.

“It’s punishment for cheating,” Alex offered by way of explanation as she began tugging at tufts of grass near her feet, desperate for a distraction from the tense situation.

“So did he say?”

“Just that he knew I’d cheated. As punishment I have to quit the squad or else I might not be allowed to graduate.”

“That is utterly horrific.” Claire shook her head in displeasure.

“Oh, I also have to attend a load of after-school classes to raise my grades,” Alex quickly added.

“What?” Claire was outraged. “These are your last months as a senior! You’re supposed to be going to parties, having fun and relaxing, not working even harder!”

“I know.”

“Jeez, I thought Mr. Simmons was okay, but he’s obviously a total douche.” Claire seethed.

“Yep.”

Alex told herself that this would be the final set of lies. That once she graduated Woodsdale and started college, she could be Alexandra Heron again. No more pretending, no more hiding her true self.

“Well, we need to hold an emergency meeting,” Claire said decisively. “The rest of the squad needs to know.”

“Yeah, I guess they do.” Alex nodded in agreement.

“They won’t like it,” Claire warned.

“I know.”

“Any thoughts on who you will appoint as replacement captain?” Claire asked, her voice suddenly light and hopeful.

“Interim captain, until my grades improve,” Alex corrected her. In reality, she had no intention to rejoin the squad, but she didn’t want any of her teammates to know that. As long as they thought that at any moment she could resume her post as captain, she wouldn’t lose the power or social standing associated with the role.

“Will you appoint at the meeting?” Claire pressed.

“Claire,” Alex sighed, her voice heavy with regret, “I know how badly you want captain, but you know that protocol dictates that it has to go to the vice-captain.”

“Urgh, I cannot imagine taking orders from
her.
”

“I know it’ll be tough, but it won’t be for long.” Alex tried to shed some light on the situation.

“It better not be!” Claire protested.

“It won’t be.” Alex smiled sweetly.

“Okay, well, I’ll rally the team for an emergency meeting after school,” Claire offered helpfully.

“Thanks,” Alex replied gratefully.

“See you later.”

****

Alex knocked tentatively on the door to her math classroom before entering. Mark sat behind his desk, his tie loosened as the school day had now drawn to a close.

“Hey.” He threw a welcoming smile towards Alex. “Ready to study?”

It was set to be their first tutoring session in the marathon that Alex was now running towards her goal of getting into Princeton.

“Can I get a rain check?” Alex remained loitering by the door, her head bowed in guilt.

“Backing out already?” Mark didn’t sound impressed.

“No, it’s not that.” Alex slid into the room but remained by the doorway. “I’ve got to go and do a thing. It’s kind of a big deal but just a one-off.” She knew she was being vague, but she also felt that he wouldn’t understand the validity of her situation.

“What thing?” Mark immediately queried.

Alex sighed and let her chin fall to her chest. Looking down at her T-shirt and jeans ensemble, she already missed her cheerleading uniform. She wished she could retain just a little of the safety net being on the team had given her. The thought of being at Woodsdale as just an average student really scared her.

“A cheer thing.” Alex finally relented.

“A cheer thing?” Mark replied incredulously.

“It’s honestly really important. And after this one thing is done, I can study every night from now until graduation.” Alex tried to appeal her case.

“Why is it so important?” Mark sounded both interested and annoyed.

“Because I’m retiring my captaincy,” Alex snapped, the pressure of the situation causing her nerves to fray.

“There’s a whole load of crap that goes with that, like I owe the team an explanation and I need to appoint the new captain.”

“Sounds pointless.”

“To you maybe,” Alex said defensively. “But to me it is important. I owe it to my team to leave properly.”

Mark studied her face as Alex bit her lip, her body tense and rigid.

“If it means so much to you, then go.” He waved a dismissive hand at her and then turned away.

Alex lingered momentarily, unsure how to read his reaction.

“Sometimes I forget how young you are.” Mark sighed.

Alex was unsure if the comment was directed at her or to himself.

“You get caught up in high school stuff because you’re still
in
high school.” He turned to face Alex, but his expression was no longer one of annoyance, it had saddened. The sadness in his eyes made Alex feel alarmed. A cold sense of dread began to swim around at the base of her spine, causing her skin to prickle.

“I’m just… I’m not ready to jump yet.” Alex took a step closer to him, determined to dispel the increasing distance that was suddenly pushing them apart.

“Quitting cheerleading is putting one foot in the water, but that’s all I can manage right now. I can’t jump in totally yet.”

This seemed to appease Mark, as he nodded to himself thoughtfully and managed a slight smile.

“You’re going through a lot.” He turned to look at her, holding her in the depth of his eyes. “I’m sorry if I sounded like a dick. I guess I was just disappointed at not being able to spend time with you tonight. And I know how lame that sounds. It sounds like I’m the one in high school!” Mark laughed nervously.

“I’ll be here tomorrow night to study.” Alex approached him and placed her hand upon his arm. He was warm to the touch. She wanted to take her hand and guide it up his arm, up to his face, across his cheek and to touch his sensuous lips.

“I look forward to it.” Mark smiled, his cheeks suddenly flushed.

“I’d better go,” Alex whispered, though she didn’t move.

“Yeah, well, good luck at your cheer thing.” Mark cleared his throat awkwardly.

Alex felt as though she had to physically tear herself away from him. It was as though he had a magnetic aura that just held her to him. As she left the classroom, she didn’t dare look back. Her heart was racing, and she felt breathless. What scared her was not that she’d gone and touched his arm; it was that she’d had to hold herself back from doing so much more.

****

“Thanks for keeping us waiting!” Sophie declared as Alex ran up to the bleachers, not hiding her obvious annoyance.

The cheerleading squad of Woodsdale High had settled upon the first three rows of the bleachers, wearing their casual clothes but looking every inch like high school royalty with their immaculate hair and designer brands.

“Thanks everyone for meeting on such short notice,” Alex began, ignoring Sophie’s comment and the daggers she was sending with her eyes.

“I know you all want to get home, so I won’t mess around.” Alex cleared her throat nervously as Claire in the front row mouthed the words ‘good luck.’

“Due to my failing grades, I am unfortunately being forced to resign my position as captain and also to retire completely from the squad until my grades improve.”

There were gasps of shock followed by frantic whispering among the ranks.

“In the meantime, Sophie will be your interim captain.” Alex gestured towards Sophie, who eagerly stood up and began to address the girls about their next practice, as though she’d been rehearsing that very moment for months.

Alex sat down next to Claire but didn’t listen to what was being said. It no longer affected her. It felt strange to suddenly be so detached from the group, but it was also exhilarating. As if now Alex was truly trying to make it on her own, no longer needing the support of an elitist team to keep her going.

Fifteen minutes later, when Sophie was done lecturing the team, the girls disbanded. Alex began walking towards the parking lot with Claire, slightly saddened that they wouldn’t get to spend as much time together and wondering if their friendship would survive the absence.

“Hey, ex-captain, wait up!” Sophie jogged up to them, her tone friendlier than normal.

Alex and Claire stopped and turned to face her.

“I had no idea the meeting would be so positive.” Sophie beamed.

“Yeah, you got captain. Dream come true for you,” Claire noted sourly.

“I’m just shocked you gave it up,” Sophie addressed Alex directly, ignoring Claire.

“I had no choice.”

“Sure you did. You could have taken it to a hearing, argued your case with the principal. Seems you just rolled over and accepted your punishment a little too eagerly.”

“Hey, that’s not fair!” Claire said, springing to Alex’s defence.

“Which teacher exactly bestowed the punishment?” Sophie asked with feigned bewilderment.

Alex gritted her teeth in anger.

“Oh yes, it was the extremely sexy Mr. Simmons. So of course Alex Heron just accepts it. What else of his do you accept?” Sophie asked snidely.