Lessons I Never Learned at Meadowbrook Academy (13 page)

I stood up and brushed the dirt off my backside. “By the way, Mervin, I thought you knew how to open locks because of magic.”

Mervin picked a leaf off his sock. “When you've been trapped inside as many lockers as I have, you become pretty resourceful…magic, clicks, whatever. I figured it out over the Internet.”

“But you opened my locker this morning—”

“Oh, that. It was already open. The bottom was sticking out.”

I playfully pushed him. “You jerk.”

A huge, grassy field was laid out before us. Beyond the field, up ahead, there was a thicket of trees. Annie started walking and Mervin and I followed behind her.

With the shopping bag banging against her leg, Annie asked me, “How'd you do all that number stuff so fast?”

I took a few steps without answering. I had never, ever told anyone my
true
feelings for mathematics. I had been ridiculed my entire life for being fat; if I had been a fat kid who also liked math, I'd probably be dead by now.

Being a few steps in front of me, Annie looked over her shoulder for my response.

“Ummm, I don't know. I guess I kind of just like numbers and stuff.”

Mervin was walking beside me. “What do you mean ‘and stuff'?”

“Like math stuff.” My skin was growing hot. I couldn't believe how scared I was to actually tell them the truth. “I guess I like math. I like it a lot.”

I silently prepared myself for their ridicule.

“Good for you,” Annie said almost immediately. “You were amazing back there.”

“Yeah, you were like a number ninja.” Mervin said. “I wish I could be like that.”

I was dumbfounded. I couldn't believe how easy it was to just tell them the truth and be accepted for it. Christine had always made fun of me for being good at anything. So I stopped trying. Having her friendship was more important to me than I was. It's hard when your best friend makes you feel bad about the good parts of you. I glanced over at Mervin and Annie, and I thought that perhaps this was what it was supposed to feel like all along. That maybe friendship wasn't about feeling bad all the time.

“Maybe if you had the time, you could tutor me a little?” Mervin asked.

My heart literally skipped a beat. “Really? I would love to!”

We were all walking together now, side by side.

Annie turned to Mervin as a devious grin came across her face. “Did you see Dr. Murphy's penis?” she asked bluntly.

“Excuse me?” Mervin looked at Annie like she was crazy. “Why the hell would I have seen the headmaster's penis?”

Annie kicked the bottom of the bag a few times. “He took a piss and I saw it.”

“Yeah, me too.” I made a face like I had just eaten a rotten egg. “It wasn't…attractive.”

“Downright scary, if you ask me. All fleshy and weird-looking…” Annie said, trying to find the right words.

“You guys, that's disgusting. And mean.” Mervin seemed genuinely concerned for Dr. Murphy. “We can't help what God gives us. It's just luck of the draw. And I think the two of you are being very insensitive.” Mervin actually stopped walking and defiantly crossed his arms.

“What are you talking about?” Annie said.

Mervin stood there silently.

“Oh, come on, Mervin! Grow a pair. If you're
so
upset, then go back, past the multitude of sweaty, naked football players, and tell Dr. Murphy that you thought his penis was beautiful.”

“You're an asshole,” Mervin said.

“It wasn't
that
bad,” I said, trying to diffuse the increasingly tense situation.

“No, Roberta—don't you apologize.” Annie seemed to have an agenda all her own. “Mervin's just being a baby about something that's ridiculous. Dr. Murphy has an ugly-looking dong; who cares? There's a lot of injustices in the world, Mervin, deal with it. And I'm entitled to have my own opinion—” Annie started walking away when it seemed like something else occurred to her. She turned back around and called out, “Besides, you didn't even see it, so how would you know?”

Mervin was not backing down. “I know that there's all this pressure on dicks, and I'm sick and tired of it, okay? It's like certain people are made to feel inadequate because they don't look a certain way, and I think it's just bullshit! And idiots like you just make me feel bad!”

I took a few steps closer to Mervin. “Hey, look, Dr. Murphy's…” I was at a loss as to what I should call it, “junk—”

“Please don't call it junk,” Mervin's tone was softening.

“Oh, sorry…”

“Could we just stop talking about cocks, dicks, junk, penises, and dongs please?” Mervin directed his attention to the ground. “You wouldn't understand.”

When Mervin said “you,” I wasn't sure anymore if he was talking to me or Annie or the “you” who applied to everybody else in the world.

It seemed like ten minutes went by before Annie walked back over to us and said, “Okay, fine. You win. I'm sorry there's a lot of penis injustice in the world.” This was clearly the best apology Mervin was going to get.

Mervin took a moment before he said, “I'm sorry, too. I guess I got a little crazy there, huh?” He let out a few nervous laughs.

“You forgive me?” Annie asked, playful now. “For not liking Dr. Murphy's—”

“Yes. But when you don't get into heaven because you hurt people's feelings all the time, I'm not going to pull any strings to get you in.”

“You're Jewish; you don't believe in heaven,” she said.

“No,
we
don't believe in hell, so go shove it up your ass.” Mervin smirked at having the last word, and that was that. Their fight was over.

We resumed walking until we reached the beginning of the thicket of trees.

“Where's the reservoir?” I asked.

“We've got to go through these trees—”

“A forest? We've got to navigate through a forest? I didn't sign up for that,” Mervin said.

Annie completely ignored him and walked through a space between two of the trees. The
shopping bag scraped against the bark of one of them, causing it to tear.

“Shit,” Annie said, grabbing the side of the bag that ripped. She looked back at me and Mervin. “Well, come on! We don't have all day, you know.”

From the second I stepped into the thicket of trees, something happened. This eerie silence swept over me. It was like I had just walked into a completely different world. Instantly, new sounds rushed through the air. I could hear piercingly clear birds chirping. And it wasn't just one bird. There were like three different birds all at once. There was a high-pitched chirp, and then this lower repetitive chirp, and then this chirp that sounded like a dripping faucet. And then there was the sound the trees made as the wind rustled through their leaves. I felt like I was inside some weird bubble where only Annie, Mervin, and I existed.

I crunched my way through crisp dead leaves. There were a ton of random branches and rocks all over the ground, so I had to really watch where I was stepping. Annie was just a few feet ahead of me and Mervin.

“Isn't this fun?” Annie called out. “It's like we're on an expedition or something.”

I jumped on top of a big rock. “Yeah, this is really cool.”

“No comment,” Mervin said.

I hopped off the rock and thought about how Warren Schrimmer must have walked through this same patch of woods. I thought about how badly he must have needed to do what he did in order to get through this eerie silence so late at night. I thought about how scary that must have felt. And I thought about how alone he must have been.

We approached a gigantic dead tree that looked like it had been there since the beginning of time. Its wood had turned a deep, dark brown, almost black color. Annie stopped first to look at it.

“Wow,” she said.

The tree was sprawled out like a giant. It looked like an enormous black cockroach lying dead on its back. The tree's shriveled dry branches were twisted and contorted like the cockroach's dead legs.

“That's terrifying,” Mervin said as he swatted away a bug from his face.

Annie took a few steps closer to it. “Oh my God, there's something over here!” she screamed.

Mervin and I followed, and sure enough, there was a small wooden post that stood probably four feet tall. Nailed on top of the post was a piece of faded cream-colored paper, which was covered over in thick, clouded plastic. All three of us moved closer to see what was written on the paper.

“It's a poem,” Annie said. She put down the shopping bag and read it out loud.

To Blossoms

Fair pledges of a fruitful tree,

Why do ye fall so fast?

Your date is not so past

But you may stay yet here awhile

To blush and gently smile,

And go at last.

What! were ye born to be

An hour or half's delight,

And so to bid good night?

'Twas pity Nature brought you forth

Merely to show your worth,

And lose you quite.

But you are lovely leaves, where we

May read how soon things have

Their end, though ne'er so brave:

And after they have shown their pride

Like you, awhile, they glide

Into the grave.

—Robert Herrick

Annie got very quiet. “That's so sad.”

Mervin gulped. “Do you think…do you think Warren read that? Before he,
you know
…”

I had just been thinking the same exact thing. “Yeah,” I said. “I bet he did.”

I saw Annie quickly wipe the corner of her eye. She was crying, but she didn't want us to know. There was such a deep sadness written across her face. Without saying a word, Annie picked up the shopping
bag and started walking away.

“God, way to ruin the moment!” Mervin called out after her, unaware of what I had just witnessed.

But Annie didn't turn around and she didn't respond.

She just kept walking.

We finally reached a chain link fence that surrounded the reservoir. The fence stood at least eight feet high and was completely covered in shrubs and overgrown weeds. There was scary-looking barbed wire sticking out the top of the fence.

“Fantastic. A barbed-wire-totally-impossible-of-getting-over-fence. Wonderful,” Mervin said.

I saw some red lettering, which belonged to a large metal sign peeking out through the branches.

“What's that sign say?” I moved closer and pushed the branches and leaves out of the way. Most of the words were faded, but it was undeniable that it read: ESSEX COUNTY PUBLIC RESERVOIR. IT IS A FEDERAL OFFENSE TO TRESPASS. VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED.

I held the branches back long enough for Mervin and Annie to read it before I let them slam back against the dirty metal.

“I didn't realize this was a federal offense,” Mervin said. “Did you know this was a federal offense?” he pointedly asked Annie.

Annie dropped the shopping bag on the ground and didn't reply.

“Oh my God, you knew this could lead to incarceration and didn't tell us!”

“Since when is it my responsibility to fill you in on common laws?” Annie crossed her arms. “What does it matter anyway? We're here now.”

“What does it matter? I'd rather
not
go to prison today if that'd be all right with you, and besides, how are we supposed to get over this thing? Did you stop to think about that?”

Annie walked a few steps closer toward the fence. It was pretty clear she hadn't stopped to think about that. At all. Then, as if a miracle had just occurred, she pointed to the bottom of the fence a few feet away. “Holy shit!”

Annie grabbed the shopping bag and ran over to a turned-up part, which created a space barely big enough for us to climb under. She took the bag and shoved it underneath, all the way to the other side. She turned back to Mervin and me. “Bottoms up?”

The turned-up part of the fence was rusty and banged up and all kinds of gross-looking. It was going to be tight, but the hole was definitely big enough for us to squeeze through.

“Maybe we should
go back,” Mervin said, looking down at the rusty prongs.

I noticed a few red hives starting to form across his neck.

Annie got on her stomach and inched her way toward the hole. “No one's listening to you, Mervin.” She got her head under the prongs and slowly began to pull her way through.

Mervin scratched his neck, making the red marks even worse.

“I'm almost there,” Annie said. “Just a few more…” and then she successfully slid the rest of her body under to the other side of the fence, but the tip of one of the prongs caught the back of her ballerina flat, causing it to fall off. Annie pushed herself to standing and grabbed her shoe. “See, easy-peezy! Who's next?” The left side of her face and the front of her outfit were covered in dirt.

I turned to Mervin, whose neck was scarlet red now. “You want to go?”

“No, you go.” He scratched the hives. “No, let me go. No, you better go.”

I put my hand on his shoulder. “Mervin, it's okay.” I gestured toward his puffy red outbreak. “I'm not sure, but I think you might be making them worse.”

Mervin stopped scratching and adjusted his glasses.

“Just take a deep breath,” I said.

Mervin dramatically inhaled and exhaled. “It's just, you need to understand that my life is this delicate balance of what I can't do and what I definitely can't do.” He looked right at me. “I definitely can't do this.”

“Yes, you can,” I said right back.

Mervin picked at his neck again. “What if I get stuck under there and I can't breathe and I die?”

“But we're here and we wouldn't let you die.”

“Yeah, Mervin,” Annie genuinely said from the other side of the fence. “You can do this!”

“You can,” I said again. “It just takes a little courage, that's all.”

Mervin stopped scratching his neck. “Maybe…I guess, maybe. But will you go first?”

“You got it. No problem.” I got on my hands and knees next to the opening. Being up close, I realized just how small the hole actually was. Oh God, I couldn't act scared or nervous after my inspiring speech to Mervin.
It just takes a little courage.
I got on my stomach and carefully put my head through under the rusty prongs.

“Come on, Roberta,” Annie cheered. “Isn't this exciting!”

My face was caked in dirt. The ground was moist and cold. And I think I was getting period cramps. There was nothing exciting
about this. I pulled my hands up next to my chest and used my upper body to drag myself slowly under the fence. I felt the sharp tip of one of the prongs dig into my back.

“You're sooo close,” Annie screamed.

Close
was an exaggeration. I was really only halfway under the fence. Annie was a lot smaller than me, and I started to feel like I might not make it through at all.

“I think I'm stuck,” I finally said.

“Oh, God,” I heard Mervin mumble.

“No, you're not stuck. I thought I was, too. Here, give me your hands. Mervin, push on her feet.”

“Okay, but be careful.” I wasn't feeling so good about this scenario anymore.

Annie grabbed both my hands, and I felt Mervin pick up my feet.

“On the count of three,” Annie said. “One…two…”

I closed my eyes.

“Three!” Annie screamed.

And just like a baby being born, I went flying through to the other side.

I stood up and wiped a glob of dried leaves and dirt off my lip. My white Kmart button-down was streaked in dirt. This would be interesting to explain to my mother.

Annie jumped up and down. “Okay, Mervin! It's your turn.”

I brushed the dirt off my clothes. “Yeah, just wiggle under. You're smaller than both of us; you'll have no problem.”

Mervin removed his glasses in a very dramatic fashion. Then he passed them through the opening to me. “Here, I don't want to break them in the voyage.” He got down on his knees. “I swear, I can't believe I'm doing this…” He fell to his belly and slowly slid his head under the fence just like Annie and I had. With his face mashed into the ground, he mumbled, “Okay, now what…”

I bent down. “Wiggle your hands through and I'll grab one and Annie will grab the other, and then we'll pull you the rest of the way.”

Mervin inched his arms up and out through the hole. Annie bent down next to me, and we each grabbed one of his hands.

“I'll count to three and then we'll pull, okay? You don't need to do anything,” I said.

“MmmHmm,” Mervin uttered.

“Don't do anything,” I repeated, “just let us pull you through. One, two, three!”

Annie and I both yanked Mervin, and he slid through the opening almost all the way until the rusty prong caught hold of his sweater and slightly cut into his back. Mervin let out a bloodcurdling scream. There was simply nothing else we could do; we had to pull him the rest of the way through. And we did.

“Oh, God, Mervin!” I helped him up to his knees. “Are you okay?”

He reached for his back, his face wincing in pain. “No, I'm not okay!”

Annie ran behind him to check out the severity of the situation. From over his shoulder, Annie made a
this-is-so-not-good
kind of face.

“How bad is it?” Mervin asked, still wincing.

Annie motioned for me to come take a look.

“Hold on,” I said, “let me see.”

I walked behind him and saw a mangled patch of sweater covered in blood and dirt. My stomach churned just looking at it. “Ummm, how bad does it hurt?” I asked while looking at Annie and shaking my head.

“Bad. It hurts bad.”

“I think we need to go back. I'm sure the nurse is still around.” By the tone of Annie's voice, I could tell that she was really concerned.

We helped Mervin to standing.

“Can I have my glasses please?” he asked rather calmly.

I quickly handed him his glasses and he put them back on.

“Look, I feel terrible,” Annie said. “This was all my stupid idea and now you're hurt…let's go back or I can go get help—”

“No,” Mervin said.

“What do you mean,
no
?” Annie snapped.

“No, I don't want you to get help. And no, I don't want to go back.”

Annie frowned. “Let me get this straight: you've been trying to get out of coming here all day, and now that there's a legitimate reason to go back, you won't?”

“Yes, that's right.”

Annie and I stared at Mervin as he wiped a smudge of dirt off the outside of his glasses. “I have never, in my entire life, done anything I was afraid of. But I just did.” He laughed a little, like the greatest thing in the world had just occurred to him. “I just did. And I feel great!” He threw his arms up, which made him crumple over in pain. “Shit. Isn't there something we could do to make it better?”

I was so proud of Mervin; I think I would have done anything in the world for him right then and there.

“Here, let us take a closer look.” I gently lifted Mervin's sweater up over his head, revealing his frail, little body. Fortunately there wasn't any dirt inside the cut, and on further inspection, it really wasn't all that deep. It was one of those cuts that looked worse than it really was.

“When we get back, we can put some Neosporin on it. And I think it'd be a good idea to get a tetanus shot, just in case. But if we could just find something to stop the bleeding now,” I suggested.

“A tetanus shot sounds horrific, but I will deal with that reality later. As far as right now, as long as I don't have to see
any blood
,
then I'm good…hey, what about this…” Mervin gingerly pulled another one of his magician's scarves out of his pocket.

“No, it will soak right through; we need something thick.” I started to look around when the greatest idea in the entire world came to me. The object I was sure that Mervin hated most in the world had just become the object that would save this adventure…a tampon.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out one of the tampons Nurse Brown had given me earlier. “We can use this!”

Mervin examined it in my hand. “You want to strap a tampon to my back?”

“It's got cotton inside. I don't mean to be gross, but that's what it does…it absorbs blood—”

“Don't say another word. Strap it to me.”

“That's the spirit!” Annie said.

“Okay, so we just need something to hold it in place.” I looked over at Annie's turquoise sash, which was wrapped around her waist. I pointed to it. “Let's use that.”

Annie quickly unraveled it from her waist.

I popped out the cotton insert from the tampon, spread it out a little with my fingers, and placed it over the cut. Annie wrapped the sash across the tampon and around Mervin's chest to hold it in place. She finished it off by tying a very pretty bow.

“How does it feel?” I asked.

Mervin moved his arms a bit. “Surprisingly good. I mean, I feel like a wrapped Hanukkah present, but you do nice work. I hope you guys take insurance.”

Annie and I helped him put his sweater back on without disrupting the bandage.

“I can't believe I have a tampon strapped to my back. What a day.”

“Looks like you're not such a wuss after all,” Annie offered.

Mervin's face lit up like he had just been given the greatest compliment of his entire life. “It just takes a little courage. That's all.” He turned to me and smiled.