Lessons for Lexi (2 page)

“No more billboards,” her agent
promised. “Lexi, how do you feel about the internet?”

“Like porn?”

Raj picked up a pretzel. “Andrew wants
you to do porn?”

“Not porn,” Andrew sighed. “Facebook,
Twitter, Podcasts, all those things?”

“I already have those. Raj did them. I
mainly just play that game where you buy chickens.”

“Farmville,” Raj provided helpfully.

“Yes, but we want to create a social media
brand. Make you the Perez Hilton of politics, so to speak.”

“That sounds terrible.”
   

“What sounds terrible?” Raj asked and
she put Andrew on hold so she could tell him about it. “That would probably be
a very good idea.”

“Exactly my
problem with it.”
Lexi sighed and got back on the phone. “I’m not doing it.”

“We have a meeting tomorrow to discuss
it.” Andrew said sternly into the phone. “Lexi, you’re contracted. You have to
be there.”

“So if I’m not, they’ll cancel my
show?” Lexi breathed into the phone. For the first time, the tension started to
lesson in the pit of her stomach.

“It’s a possibility, Lexi.” Andrew
clearly felt he had gained the upper hand. “JT wants to do this while you’re
still popular, still in the public eye.”

“So if I wasn’t popular anymore, wasn’t
‘in the public eye’, he wouldn’t want me to do it?” An idea started to take
form in Lexi’s mind.
An escape clause.
She promised
Andrew that she would be at the meeting with bells on and promptly hung up the
phone.

“I could get my show canceled.” Lexi
breathed out a sigh.

“Can I ask you a question?” Raj asked suddenly.
“Why is it ok to let your show fail, but it’s not ok for you to just quit?”

“It’s just different. If the show fails
because I’m being pressured to go too commercial, it seems ok. It doesn’t feel
right to just walk away from it though. That’s different.”

“But why?”

“Just because,” Lexi answered
stubbornly. “Let’s just say, after everything that happened, my heart isn’t in
it anymore, but I don’t want to let it go.
If it gets taken,
fine by me.”

Raj didn’t respond. The fact that Lexi
was talking about the past at all was shocking. He pasted on a smile and
changed the subject. “What do you want to do with all this time off?”

“Disappear,” Lexi mumbled as she
brought her beer to her lips for a sip.

Chapter 2

JT checked his watch for the third
time. He’d attempted to set the stage by showing up late for the 9:30
appointment with Lexi. Instead, he showed at 10:15. He still beat Lexi there.

“Where is she?”

Andrew Flaxman hurriedly dialed his
most difficult client. When she didn’t respond, he dialed Raj instead. To his
surprise, Raj wasn’t answering either.

“I think she might be standing us up.”
Andrew sounded concerned and JT gave a half chagrinned smile. Lexi was turning
out to be as much of a pain in the ass as the media made her out to be.

JT stood from his chair. “I’m done
waiting for her. I’ll be returning in 3 weeks. I get a meeting with her by
then, or she might not have a show to discuss.” She didn’t need a firing, he
thought to himself as he walked out.

What she needed was an incredibly hard,
bare assed spanking. Lexi Logan was a pain in the ass and as far as he was concerned,
it was time someone gave her one.

He walked out the door, with plans to
meet with Faith, his girlfriend, before the day was out. JT had been seeing Faith
for several years and she was everything a good girlfriend should be. She was
quiet, she was presentable, and she turned a blind eye when he found his sexual
comforts elsewhere. She was first lady material who understood that his work
came first.

Unlike that
pain in the ass Lexi Logan.
He let out a huff of frustration as he
drove to the airport, entertaining fantasies of taking his belt to her ass for
the entire drive. He would never get the chance to do it, but it was still fun
to dream.

***

“Come on Raj,” Lexi plopped into her
horrified hairdresser’s chair. “It will be fun.”

“Hiding for three months?”

“Yeah,” Lexi smiled happily. “We need a
break.”

Lexi gave Raj a once over. He could
really use a makeover more than she could. He wore sloppy slogan t-shirts and
the same jeans every day. His hair was too long, his facial hair too thick and
his face was hidden behind thick glasses because he was afraid of Lasik
surgery.

Lexi was no stranger to beauty
treatments. Even though she was on the radio, she was also in the public eye.
She spent what felt like thousands of hours a month on hair extensions,
clothing fittings and make up. She felt like she was perpetually getting ready
for something. She teetered around in four inch heels to make herself seem
leaner and taller than her shorter than average 5’3”. In the beginning, it was
fun. But like everything else, it was really starting to wear on her.

“Where’s my cell phone?”

Lexi stared at the ceiling, trying to
look innocent.

“Lexi, I’m serious. Where did you put
it?”

“You don’t need it today Raj. We’re on
vacation, remember?” The truth was that Raj’s cell phone was somewhere in the
bottom of Biscayne Bay. There was no way she
was letting her agent ruin another vacation. “Come on, if you answer the phone,
Andrew is just going to call us all the time like he did on winter break.”

“You threw it in the ocean, didn’t you?”

Lexi nodded.
“Indubitably.”

“I hate you.”

“Noted.”
Lexi sprung
out of the chair and shoved Raj into it instead. “Donny, why don’t we start on
Raj? You seem a little too shell shocked over what I want done.”

“You want me to throw acid on the Mona
Lisa!” Donny, Lexi’s hair dresser, answered dramatically. “After all the time I
spent making you perfect, you want me to undo it all.” Donny began to brush out
Raj’s hair in fast, furious strokes.

Lexi sighed. “I’m not asking you to
reverse my fucking nose job, Donny. I’m just asking you to take my extensions
out for the break.” Lexi scratched her head. “They itch.”

“We’ll put them back in at the end of
the break?”

Lexi crossed her fingers behind her
back.
“Sure thing.”
She gave her most charming smile.
“I also wondered what it would be like to go blonde.”

 
“Absolutely not.”
Donny finished brushing and wrapped a
towel around Raj’s shoulders. “You don’t have the coloring to pull off blond.”

“Fine, I’ll get it done at Supercuts.”

Donny dropped his comb and put a hand
to his heart. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Lexi’s eyes flashed with challenge.
“Watch me.”

Donny’s shoulders slumped dejectedly.
“Well, at least you’re letting me boy band up Raj.” Donny pinched Raj’s cheek
and he flinched.

Three hours and about 75 unanswered phone
calls from her agent later, Lexi and Raj were transformed. Raj was a site to
behold. His excessive hair had been chopped away, revealing deep black eyes and
perfectly chiseled features. He looked fantastic.

Lexi was unrecognizable. Her waist
length black extensions had been removed and her real shoulder length hair had
been died an awful, brassy shade of blonde. She wore no contact lenses and kept
her hair tucked back behind her second most hated feature, her giant ears.
 
She looked like a dopey golden retriever.

She did not look like Lexi Logan. She
smiled down at her shoes, practical flip-flops that she’d bought at the convenience
store. They were hideous. She had forgotten how comfortable it was to not worry
what she looked like.

“What have I done to you?” Donny gasped
out as he touched her hair.

Lexi smiled. “You gave me my freedom.”

***

Lexi and Raj lounged around Lexi’s loft
style apartment. She wasn’t one for maintenance and she loved living in one
giant room. She had a great view of the Miami
skyline and an always working elevator. Luxury condo living was good.

Having an answering machine was bad.
Her agent had left more than 20 messages and his tone got more urgent with
every one. Lexi didn’t pick up the phone until Andrew left one threatening to
file a missing persons report.

“I’m not dead. I’m just tired. Can’t
you ever just leave me alone?” Lexi shouted into the phone as soon as she
picked it up. On the other end, she could hear her agent doing his deep
breathing exercises.

“Why did you miss the meeting this
morning Lexi?” He finally choked out.

“I forgot.”

She could practically feel Andrew
counting to ten in his head. “You forgot?”

“Sure.” She wasn’t even trying to cover
it up. That turned out to be a mistake, because Andrew struck a low blow.

“I’m worried about you Lexi. After what
happened last year…”

“We’re not talking about that.” For
once, her voice went from laid back to stricken.

Andrew went on as though she hadn’t
spoken. “Now you’re sabotaging your career? Part of the agreement was that you
would get counseling…”

“I’ll get around to it.” Lexi muttered.

“Between all
the drinking binges?”

Lexi ignored the empties rolling around
on her floor and the fact that it was only 1 pm, and she was already a little
bit buzzed. “I’m not drinking that much.”

“Actually, Lexi, you are and as your
agent, I feel responsible for you. You’re not dealing with what happened.”

“I’m over it.” Lexi’s chest started to
squeeze and she struggled to control her breathing. One gasp from a panic
attack would give it all away.

“I’m starting to feel like I have no
choice but to approach someone about having you evaluated.”

Lexi went tense. “What’s that supposed
to mean?”

“It means you need help Lexi. If you
force me to go the Baker Act route, I will”

Lexi looked at the phone in her hand as
though she had never seen it before.
“Whatever Andrew.
Listen, I have to go.” He tried to talk but she spoke over him. “We’ll talk
about the internet porn thing when I’m off vacation.” With that, she ripped the
phone cord out of the wall, intent on no more calls for at least three months.

“Hey Raj?”
She turned to
her long time friend, who was watching her in amusement. “What’s a ‘Baker Act?
’”

“Did Andrew threaten that?”

Lexi nodded.

“That isn’t good Lex.” Andrew crossed
his ankle over his knee and rubbed his hand over his face, still feeling
strange clean shaven. “It’s kind of an involuntary commitment thing.”

“Can he really do that?”

“It’s possible. You have been doing
some pretty weird stuff lately Lexi.”

“Yeah, but that’s not because I’m
crazy. That’s because I’m trying to get fired.”

“A judge might not see it that way.”
Raj rubbed his face again. “The law pretty much says that if an ‘interested
person’ believes you’re going to hurt yourself or someone else, they can take
you into custody.”

“
Which would
definitely ruin the whole invisible vacation I was planning.
” Lexi
tilted her head as she thought. “Does this Baker Act thing apply everywhere?”

“Just in Florida.”

Lexi smiled. “Then I guess we’re going
on a real vacation.”

Raj raised an eyebrow in interest.
“Where to?”

“I want to be able to drive there. We
haven’t had a road trip in forever.”

“I love road trips.” Raj got nostalgic.
“New York City?”

“Nowhere near Connecticut.
If anything,
I would prefer to go in the opposite direction.”

“The bible
belt?”
Donny looked horrified.

“Nothing so
extreme.”
Lexi’s eyes lit up. “You know what would be fun? Remember
that summer, in the commune?”

Raj gave her a skeptical look.

“Come on,” Lexi’s eyes were aglow with
excitement. “It was fun! No interviews, agent meetings, or Baker Act’s.
Six hour work weeks.
No responsibilities.
Always
someone to play scrabble with.”

“I hate that game.” Raj muttered
darkly. He’d been getting his ass kicked by Lexi for years, both in regular
word scrabble and dirty word scrabble.

“And if you go to Austin with me, you might never have to play
again!”

Raj smiled. “It is also incredibly easy
to trick the really stoned granola boys into posing for my art.”