Lengths For Love (12 page)

“You free?” I asked.

“I guess so. Though I feel like I’m completely out of the loop these days,” Alexis said. “You’re getting into fights and you spend time with these vampires more than you do with me.”

“You’re the one who tells me to stay away,” I said. “I promised that I would do anything you asked. But if you want me at your side at all times, I can do that, too. You just say the word, Alex. Say it and I will be there.”

“What about Kristine?” She asked.

“What about her?”

“Do you think she’s pretty?”

I sighed. “We’re not starting this conversation again. But Kristine has told me some interesting things about this place and I’m thinking we should go back home. You can finish your treatment anywhere else. I mean, one minute Vincent is harming a girl for getting a piercing, the next minute, he’s burning Jenny’s things. This isn’t the place to cure you, babe.”

“But I don’t want to be cured, Ian! I want to be a vampire!”

“Did you ever consider what would happen when you became one?” I asked. “Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, things wouldn’t be as great as you’re making it sound? Babe, you’d be stuck here when you turned. The Augustin family isn’t going to let you wander the streets freely!”

“I suppose Kristine told you that?”

“I think she would know about this place better than you and I would,” I pointed out. “She lives here. She is a vampire. It’s not a game, Alex.”

“I know it’s not!” Alex was pissed off at this point. “You think I wanted this cancer, Ian? You think I’m enjoying getting this chemotherapy and feeling so exhausted and sick all the time? You think I like losing my hair and looking like I’m near death?! You have no idea what this means to me!”

“And you have no idea what this guy is capable of!” I threw back. “Alex, if you had seen him, if you had been there...”

“But I wasn’t. I couldn’t be there.” She turned her gaze to the wall. “I want to believe you, Ian. You’re my boyfriend and I love you.”

“So why is this so hard to believe? Has the man brainwashed you?”

“No. I rarely see Vincent, anyway. But he can’t be all that bad. Besides, some of things he told me made sense.”

That made me sit up. “You’ve been talking to him?”

“So have you,” She said. “And it’s nothing. He was telling me about the vampire who he chose to change me. Turns out the job he was on is taking longer than usual. However, there’s so much that would change when I turned. I wouldn’t have to worry about pain anymore. I wouldn’t have to worry about my emotions getting in the way or getting older or looking like hell.”

“But what about me?” I asked. “You think I won’t miss you when you die?”

“Well, you can always turn,” she suggested.

I was surprised that it had taken her this long to bring this up. Yet I wasn’t happy with the decision. “Alex... that’s a decision that... .”

“You don’t like it, do you?”

I shook my head. “I just feel like I have to live more before I can join you in the afterlife. I’m sorry, babe. Becoming a vampire now isn’t the smart thing for me.”

She pressed her lips together. “I understand. Besides, it wouldn’t be smart for both of us to turn so quickly. Let one of us see what happens. Let it be me, the one who is dying right now. If it’s successful, great. If not, well... I’ve lived a good life.”

“Don’t take like that,” I warned. “You have no idea what...”

“I know it hurts you. But we have to face the fact. I am dying, Ian. I am not going to be the same person you were used to. When I turn, I cannot promise I will return to the same old Alexis Cloud. Only time can tell what will happen.”

I gave up trying to talk about it anymore. Alexis was desperate to forget that she had cancer.

“Dance with me?” I asked.

“Why?” She wanted to know. “You know how weak I am. I can barely stand on my own two feet sometimes. I’ll probably mess up the dance.”

“You’re talking to me, babe. When was the last time I danced?”

“Ian, still...”

“Come on. What song do you want to dance to?” I went over to the stereo and looked through the ones she brought along. My hands brushed against a CD with the music from Cats. It was her favorite musical and I knew she could not say no to “Memory” if I put it on. Lucky for us, there was also a CD player in our room. I didn’t know who it belonged to, but I knew they wouldn’t mind if I borrowed it for one song. I put it on and went over to where she was.

“Come on.” I helped her stand up. “It’s your favorite song in the world.”

“My favorite song? Ian, I don’t think I can...”

“Yes, you can.”

Memory,

Turn your face to the moonlight...

I took her in my arms and began to dance. It looked more like I was rocking her back and forth but she tried to follow my lead.

Sunlight through the trees in summer

Endless masquerading

Like a flower

as the dawn is breaking,

The memory

is fading... .

“I hate feeling sick all the time,” She whispered. “I feel so hopeless and weak and not like myself. I need to turn.”

“Yeah...” I said, barely hearing her.

“I mean, my legs tingle. My arms tingle. And my head hurts too much.” She ended up sitting down on the bed. “I’m sorry. I can’t dance with you like I used to. I wish I was strong again.”

“You will be,” I promised. “When you’re cured, you’ll be like you were.”

“Not really,” she smiled. “When I’m turned...”

“When you’re cured,” I repeated again. “I don’t believe in this turning stuff. I have a feeling it won’t happen.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“I thought we’d hear more about it by the time this month came around,” I explained. “We’ve been here for a while yet no sign of the guy that’s supposed to turn you. Maybe he doesn’t even exist.”

She raised a brow at that. “You think Vince would lie to us?”

“Why not? We’re gullible enough to go through with this crap.”

“Oh, now I’m gullible?” she crossed her arms.

“No, that’s not what I meant! It’s just that... Alexis, look at this place! Who else is here for the same reason besides us? Come on. You can’t argue with the facts.”

“Maybe not, but I refuse to believe that they can’t do anything for me!” She shot back. “Look at me, Ian! I’m losing my hair each day! My body hurts and I’m so tired of everything! I can’t remember the last time I looked forward to anything! Even now... I can’t dance with you like before! I’m too slow and exhausted and ill! I just can’t... I... I can’t...” She trailed off and lay down on the bed. “And my head hurts again.”

I lay next to her and stroked her forehead. “You need aspirin or anything?”

“No, I took my medication already. I just want to lie down and think about what I could be in a few months. I won’t have to worry about this anymore. I won’t have to deal with being so slow and sick all the time. The last pain I should feel is the moment I go from human to vampire.”

I was suddenly reminded of what Kristine had told me earlier. Her words finally hit me and made more sense. “Babe, becoming a vampire doesn’t mean the pain is going to end. You might end up getting a new pain.”

“What could be more painful than this?” Alexis wanted to know, her eyes red and puffy from the medication. “What could be more horrible than going through each day, not knowing if it will be the last one you live?”

“Alex...”

“I’m serious. I have never been this scared of anything. I don’t even want to go get chemo, but I know I must. If it will prolong my life, I’ll do it. You just have to promise me that you’re going to be okay.”

I wanted to lie right there, tell her that things were fine with me, but the words were caught in my throat. “I’m not going to be okay, babe. I can’t be okay when I know you’re not.”

“I’m never going to be okay,” she muttered, crawling into bed. “Look, Ian, I’m tired. I’m tired of everything. I just want to go to sleep, wake up, and hope things get better. I want this cancer to go away magically and my hair to come back and to feel like a normal, healthy person. Sometimes, I still think I’m dreaming and that none of this is real. Only I wake up and I know it is.”

I helped her get in bed and put the covers over her. “You need anything, babe?”

“No. I just want to be left alone.” She looked at the strands of hair on her pillow and touched them. “I miss it so much. I miss how it felt falling on my shoulders and how it stuck to my back when it got wet. I miss it all.” She started sobbing. “I miss the way I looked before.”

I touched her shoulder but said nothing. Not that there was anything I could have said to change things. We were dying here. Maybe I wasn’t literally, but I felt like my world had ended.

Waiting for Alexis for fall asleep, I looked up the ceiling and began to pray.

The next morning, I decided to call my father and let him know how things were. I had been keeping in touch with him, calling at least once a week, and giving him updates on Alexis. Of course, I did not tell him that my girlfriend had plans to turn into a vampire later on. He would never have believed me or would have come down to Vienna and dragged me out of here. A part of me was hoping he would find out on his own. I began to feel less excited about the plans Alexis had for herself.

Worst of all, she seemed to be oblivious to Vince and his torture. The longer I stayed, the more bruises I noticed. Things got quieter in the house. Kristine herself had a few scratches now and I could make one guess as to where they came from. Worst of all, I was getting on Vince’s bad side simply by siding with the people in the house. I caught a vampire sneaking into the house and tried to get him inside without notice. Unfortunately, Vincent noticed and gave the vampire a nice black eye as punishment. Then he turned his fists on me but stopped right before he got to my face.

“Consider that your warning,” he muttered, retracting his fist and stepping back. “From now on, you are to let me deal with them. Got it?”

I nodded and ran upstairs, hoping he didn’t follow. I slipped into my bed and pretended to sleep anytime I heard someone walking by my door. Twice, Kristine came in and woke me up, assuring me that Vince wasn’t after my blood. I would have felt relieved if I didn’t know who Vince was. I knew deep down that he was plotting and he would get back at me. By morning, when I saw I was alive, I began to check out my surroundings.

Other than him, I was happy out in the stables. I kept a good eye on the horses that seemed to be fine with each other. The mare was handled her pregnancy well. I had never seen a horse give birth, but if I was here long enough, that would be something to witness. I spent hours with them and helped clean the stables out. It wasn’t a fun job, but someone had to do it. And I was more happy to do this than face Vince again. Scooping horse poop was looking wonderful compared to getting a black eye.

However, my happiness wasn’t lasting very long. Vincent showed up and stopped me as I was leaving. I didn’t know how long he had been standing there, but it gave me the creeps. His eyes were blank as he stared at me.

“Hi,” he whispered. “How are they?”

“G... Good,” I nodded. “Like I said, leave them to me.”

“And how about the house? How are you enjoying everything in Vienna?”

“We’re doing fine. Well, as fine as we can be,” I said. “Alexis is getting more chemo and is getting tired a lot. We can’t go out like we used so I stay by her side and make sure she is comfortable.”

“And you?” he asked.

“Me? What about me?”

“How are you?”

I bit my lip and wondered how to explain this to my father. Yeah, I was fine physically but I was on Vince’s hit list. “Oh, I’m fine. The people are here are very friendly.” That much was true. Only Vince seemed to hate me. “I like the food and the attractions. It’s pretty cool.”

“Oh, Ian,” he muttered, unbuttoning his coat. I stepped back, wondering why he was disrobing now. We were outside and, even though it was close to the stables, it was still in public. The horses probably didn’t want to see us get naked or whatever he was planning.

“Is there anything you need?” I wanted to know. “Alexis isn’t with me.”

“I know that. She finished her treatment for today.”

“Uh... and happy birthday?”

“Thanks.” He didn’t seem thankful at all. In fact, he didn’t look pleased at all that I mentioned his birthday. If that was the case, I hoped that Alexis would not spring a “happy birthday” on him, too.

“Right,” I nodded, heading past him. Dude was giving me the creeps and the sooner I moved away, the better.”Well, see you inside.”

“Not so fast.”

He grabbed me by the collar and pulled me close to him. The guy was shorter than me but he did pack a lot of strength in that small body. He flared his nostrils and I found myself staring into his eyes. It turned out that I was wrong. The guy had a soul. I wasn’t sure why I saw it right then, but there it was. Hidden in that darkness was something that resembled a soul. It was a tiny flicker, but it was there. But I knew he hadn’t cornered me to pour his soul out.

“You take risks, Ian,” he whispered. “Normally, I’d find that an admirable trait, but not here. You are interrupting my job. I’m the one they call their savior, not you! What do you think you are trying to prove by getting in the way?!”

Getting in the way? I slowly loosened his grip on me. “You’re anything but a savior, pal. I know what you do and I know where you come from. You’re no better than any murderer out there.”

His face changed from anger to amusement. “You think I’m a murderer? I’m the reason people out here can sleep at night sometimes! Without me and my family, these monsters would be roaming the streets and killing anyone they pleased! I have rules in this place and they will follow them or perish! It’s up to my guests and yes, that includes you.” He pushed me into the wall. “Consider this my last warning. We have nothing left to discuss between us. You think I’m a monster and that’s your right to think so. But I’m telling you to stay away from them. If I catch trying to do anything with the residents of this place, if I hear that you are saving them or filling their heads with ideas, then you will see just what a monster I can be.”