Legacy of a Dreamer (20 page)

Chantal was heartbroken at the loss, and part of her didn’t think she could make that same choice. In her time with countless wounded children, she had learned the hard way the hurt and disappointment this life had to offer. The damage and brutality alone had made her rethink reproduction, even when she thought she’d been normal. Now, to subject a child to life on the run, or even worse, be used as a pawn . . .

No, she didn’t think she could bring a child into this life.

As if he could read her thoughts, Andreau nudged her outstretched foot. “Chyme’s sacrifices and pain were not all for naught.” He smiled conspiratorially. “His daughter, Hannah, born almost one hundred and fifty years ago, did survive.”

“What do you mean?” Chantal became excited over the prospect of another Oracle, someone she could confide in, who could tell her what to expect and help her build on her gift.

“When his tenth wife became pregnant, Chyme left her, thinking that if he did, she and the child would remain safe. But fate, they say, can be fickle. His wife was murdered by a thief, and his child went missing. He still searches for her, some say, hoping beyond the most heart-filled prayer that she lives.”

“This sounds more like an urban legend than a true story,” Chantal said, somewhat deflated.

“Everything is built on myths and legends,” Andreu said. Then he nudged her foot again. “Shall I bring another beast in here for you? Allow you to see that myths and legends are very much real?”

“No.” Chantal laughed, her cheeks turning pink. “It’s just . . . the thought of another one out there like me . . .”

“I understand,” Andreu said. “And for all our sakes, including her father’s, I hope that she is. The Oracles are our greatest hope. Perhaps someday, you will have a vision of her, telling us where she’s been hiding as well.”

“My dreams don’t quite work out that way,” Chantal said, ashamed for some reason.

“You’ve only had them with the block that had been placed there,” Andreu said. “Let’s see how you dream with your mind completely unveiled.”

“I hope you’re right,” Chantal said. “Just don’t get your hopes up.”

“Hope is all we have.”

“No, hope is a demon, and does nothing but bring disappointment, believe me, I know.” Her tone was flat and without remorse. It shocked even herself, but that had been her reality for so long, the statement just seemed cemented into her brain. She’d hoped her mother would come and get her from foster care. She’d hoped that one day, she’d be rid of Regina, or if not her, then one of the girls she cared so much for. Hope had led to nothing but regret and wasted time. She knew it . . . she’d lived it.

“No, that’s Doubt talking,” Andreu said. “If there are such things, Doubt is the demon. It keeps those dreams and aspirations just out of reach, makes them seem unattainable.”

Chantal looked unconvinced.

“I think that’s part of your problem with Mathias. I just don’t think he knows what to make of you . . .”

“What do you mean?”

Andreu thought for a moment, seemed to be weighing his words.

“For those of us who’ve fought for so long, just to have the blood of small children on our hands, hope has dwindled down to nothing. Instead of having a reason or purpose, we just . . . do behind the guise that it is our duty, doubting that our actions will ever bring us to a brighter future. We just continue honoring our brothers who’ve died before us.”

Andreu leaned forward, leveling her with a stern gaze.

“You give him hope, Chantal, and I don’t think he knows what to do with it.”

Mathias knew that he shouldn’t have said anything to her, and yet, he couldn’t help but to tell Chantal everything. That girl’s life had been forever altered, and he felt like a bastard because the idea thrilled him. Not because she’d be perpetually on the run, never able to meet the goals of life she’d set for herself. A family, a career, independence, and solitude—all of that was out of the question now. That part angered Mathias on her behalf. No one should live life unfulfilled.

   
He had seen Chantal’s warrior growing inside her and soon, she wouldn’t be dependent on him. He hated that he’d enjoyed hiding away in the shadows, serving as her guard and guide while watching her grow into the woman she was today. Even more so now that he knew his feelings for her were more than innocent. The fact her inner warrior had begun to reveal herself brought on an entire new aspect to their relationship, however. Part of him was afraid she wouldn’t need him anymore once she was fully trained, and where would that leave him? Was she not his charge to watch over, regardless? He was struggling with what he knew as his duty, and his heart that knew she was so much more.

“Horrible,” he said, chiding himself.

He had a reputation to think about, after all. For ages now, he’d been the brother known to have a lighthearted and carefree attitude—he one who would make jokes and take life by the horns, yet, always ready to die for the cause. Now, he found himself doing something he hadn’t done in a while—contemplating its purpose and all that entailed. All because he had interest in a girl who would forever remain rightfully unattainable.

“Pathetic.”

He’d been roaming around the wilderness for some time now, telling himself it’d be best if he stayed away during Andreu’s visit. He knew the warrior would see the tension between the two of them, and he didn’t want to risk being taken off his assignment. In the long run, things would work out between him and Chantal, he just had to get his head around the reasons why she invaded his mind so much. Infatuation? Intrigue? A ridiculous quest to tame the shrew? He didn’t know, and that frustrated him to no end.

“She’s changed you,” he heard a familiar voice say, and his hackles rose.

“What do you mean?” Mathias couldn’t shelter the rage and worry in his tone.

“I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. I like how she’s gotten under your skin.”

Mathias turned to see Andreu standing with a knowing smile on his face, arms folded across his chest like a loving father.

“Don’t try to get in the middle of it,” Mathias said. “I’m handling it.”

“Oh, I think you’ve got that backward, brother. She is most definitely handling you.”

“So, that’s how you see it, brother?” Mathias said, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what I’m doing with her. One minute, I think she’s going to break. I mean, who wouldn’t, the way we pulled her from the life she knew just as she was about to attend university, then telling her that life was a lie as well? Other times, she’s picking up a blasted sword and hacking her way through a herd of Seethers as if it was the most natural thing for her warrior to do. I don’t know what to tell her, and I’m afraid that when things start to get really bad, she’s going to resent me for bringing her into this world.”

“You didn’t father her, Mathias. The blame is not yours. She was already a part of this world. She just didn’t know it. Her warrior was awakened; she is stronger physically and mentally than all of us give her credit for, Oracle or not.”

“I know that. Now, she seems like the kind of girl that would not only shoot the messenger, but play with their innards before she put them out of their misery. Her warrior has made her harder to read and a lot more confident when she allows it.”

“That she does.” Andreu chuckled. “Can I give you some advice?”

“If you think I need it.” Mathias shrugged, a little perturbed.

“Just let things happen. Don’t try to fight it.”

“W-what?” Mathias gaped.

“You know that confused feeling—the one where you can’t tell which way is up, whether or not you want to choke her or kiss her? That’s the beginnings of an epic romance, my friend. Don’t let a chance at love pass you by. The first emotion we knew was Heaven’s love. We can’t forget that is a big part of us, though we don’t always feel we deserve it.”

Mathias glanced at the birthmark on his forearm. The heart of thorns had always represented that love Andreu spoke of. Constantly present and always felt, yet unable to touch the raven’s wings. Perhaps the Fallen and their brethren would always feel that longing of Grace and Forgiveness, the sons forever paying for the sins of their fathers. It was only with Chantal that Mathias had finally felt an array of hope and a small amount of that kind of effortless devotion. Could the Oracles lead the Warriors back to salvation somehow? Was that the reason he felt so close to her?

“A Warrior cannot be in love with an Oracle,” Mathias said, reciting the mantra he’d been telling himself over and over again the past few nights.
 

“Says who?” Andreu scoffed, the curve of his eyebrow matching his upturned lips. “We all love the Oracles in an honorable way, for we dedicate our lives to ensure their existence. Not saying you’re being dishonorable, just no one has experienced it in this way.”

“And that type of love would just complicate things.”

“And when has life not been complicated?” Andreu threw him a pointed look. “This is new, not only to the brothers and young Oracles, but you two as well. Be wise as this will inevitably set a precedence whether you like it or not, by how it ends.”

“She makes me want to pull my hair out!”

“Case closed.” As Andreu made his leave, Mathias watched him until he disappeared. With the sunset approaching, he knew he needed to head back to the church, he just didn’t think he had the energy to fight with her anymore.

Resolving to bite the bullet, so to speak, he turned back toward the church as the wind began to pick up, sending dust and dried plant life scurrying across the dusky ground. The evening brought a chill to the air, and he figured they were heading into a frigid night. Temperatures in the desert could drop well into freezing levels, he wanted to get a steady fire going before the Shade opened, and the creatures began hunting again.

The quiet churchyard came into view, shadowed by the sun setting behind it. The silent graveyard behind the forgotten House of Worship included countless simply decorated crosses and headstones, forever marking the past. Nighttime creatures began to stir as the world fell into twilight, the time for the Shadows to embark on their ominous prowl.

He opened the door to find Chantal huddled by a low burning fire, a fresh pile of wood by her side. He said a silent ‘thank you’ to his brother, then continued to watch her stoking the red hot bed of embers with a long stick and small pieces of parchment. The soft light of the fire kissed her face and hair enhancing her beauty. Her skin looked like polished porcelain, and the shadows danced along the lines of her slim body, emphasizing her womanly curves and causing Mathias to take a sharp breath in response.

“Hey.”

“Sorry I was gone for so long,” he said, meaning it.

“No worries,” she said, her gaze fixed on the fire. “Andreu left some food and water in that pack. He said he’d be back when he could to bring us more.”

“He won’t come again if he thinks it’ll compromise our position,” he said without thinking, and he instantly regretted it, since he didn’t want to worry her unnecessarily. “I mean, he’ll get here if he can, but I don’t know when that’ll be.”

“Mathias, relax,” Chantal said, looking up at him with a slight smile. Her violet eyes seemed to glow in the light. “He already told me. Don’t get so flustered.”

He frowned, not liking her assessment. After a moment, he went over to the pack without further comment, taking out a bottle of water and energy bar. His back toward her, he opened the packages roughly.

“You don’t have to worry about scaring me,” she whispered. “I’m tough, and I can handle it.”

He scoffed to himself, knowing she didn’t have a clue of what could happen. Based on naiveté, that comment seemed false, though he was acutely aware of the change in her. He grieved at the probability he’d have to witness her false sense of security come to an end.

“I’m not scared, Mathias. I know I don’t know much and have a lot to learn, but I’ve seen it all in my dreams. They’re clearer to me now than they’ve ever been before, and I think that’s because Titus took that ward off my mind. You and your warriors may fight the demons, but I see them every night. And I can’t fight them off or make them stop. They do what they do, and I’m just a bystander to it all. I know there’s a message in it, but nothing is as terrifying as feeling like you’re helpless as the monster runs rampant in your mind. That will be scarier than anything they can throw at me to this point. I just don’t want to be left in the dark. That . . . will frighten me, not the truth.”

“Come here,” he said, holding out his arms to her. She got up and went to him, and he held her close, enjoying the feeling. “I will be honest with you, Chantal. I just don’t know how much to say.”

“All of it,” she whispered into his chest. “Tell me what you know, and I’ll tell you what I see in my dreams. We are a team, Mathias. Thrown together like peanut butter and bananas, not knowing how good it is, and then realizing it’s the perfect combo.

He laughed.

“I know it’s a dumb analogy, but I know it’s going to be okay,” she said.

“Isn’t that my line?”

“Nope,” she corrected. “We’re a team, now. It’s my turn to reassure you.”