Authors: D.J. Pierson
“I can
do that.”
“Mind
if we sit outside?” I ask, leading him into the kitchen.
“Not
at all.” Luke grabs two beers and I toss him the bottle opener. He pops them
both open and hands me one. We sit at the table, but we both choose a chair
facing the water. “I swore when I left here, I’d never come back.”
“Why
not?” I’m stunned. Why wouldn’t anyone want to come back to this place?
“It’s
too quiet. I didn’t realize it until I went away to school.” He’s looking off
into the distance the way he did earlier at lunch.
“I
went to a college in Pennsylvania. Talk about different,” I say to snap him out
of whatever he’s thinking about.
He
chuckles. “Why did you go all the way up there?”
I gulp
down some of my beer. “To get away from my parents.”
“That
bad?” he wonders.
“Worse.”
“That
blows.” I nod. “I met this girl my freshman year. She was perfect. Beautiful.
Smart as hell.” Luke pauses and I wait patiently for him to continue. “She played
hard to get for about a year, but I finally wore her down and got a first date.
After that, we were almost always together. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t
have done for her. One night, I was in my room studying for a final. I assumed
she was doing the same. I got a phone call from the police that my car had been
used in a break-in. The bitch stole my fucking keys earlier in the day when I
had fallen asleep. She helped some guy from school rob his boss’ house, then
she totaled the car trying to get away.” How the hell am I supposed to respond
to that? He looks over at me. “Fucked up, right?”
“Is
there anything more fucked up than fucked up? I’m so sorry, Luke.”
“Not
as sorry as I am. From the very beginning, my parents saw her for exactly who
she was. How did I miss it?”
“Love
does that kind of shit.”
“I
hate love,” he groans. The way he says it causes me to laugh. I don’t know why.
It’s the kind of laugh that is uncontrollable and unrelenting. Every time I try
to apologize, I start laughing harder. Luke is watching me, unsure if I’m a
rotten bitch or just plain psychotic. “What the hell is so funny?”
“Nothing,”
I manage to get out. My eyes are watering, making it hard to see. “I’m really sorry.”
I take a deep breath. “I have no idea where that came from.”
The
corners of his mouth twitch and I start all over again. This time he starts
chuckling with me. “How many of these did you have before I got here?”
“Only
one,” I tell him. Being buzzed would be the perfect excuse, if only that were
the case.
He waits
patiently for me to calm down. “I told you my story. Now tell me yours.”
“Basically,
the only guy I ever loved broke up with me and slept with another girl that
same night. Then, to make a shitty situation even shittier, I went and slept
with my best friend.”
Luke freezes
as he contemplates what I said. He tries to clear his throat a couple of times.
Initially, I can’t figure out what’s wrong. Then it dawns on me. He’s assuming the
best friend I was referring to is female. Typical man. Do I burst his bubble
now or let him ponder it for a moment? I lay my head back and let him soak that
up before I reveal the truth.
“Are
you fucking with me?” he asks.
“No,
not intentionally,” I confess. “Sometimes I forget not everyone knows that my
two best friends happen to be brother and sister who live next door to me.”
“So
you didn’t sleep with a girl?” I roll my eyes. “For a second, you were my
hero.” He clears his throat one more time. “All right. What’s the big deal
about sleeping with him?”
“Jake
has liked me for a long time. Despite his sister trying to set us up for years,
I don’t feel that way about him. He was the only one home when I went looking
for support after finding out Evan was sleeping with someone. Somehow, I ended
up spending the night in his bed.”
“Somehow?
What happened between the time you got to his house and went to his room?”
“Seriously?”
I can only imagine the expression on my face.
“Yes,
seriously. I’m trying to help here,” he says. “I have a theory already, but
just answer my question.”
“You
have a theory?”
“Will
you please just answer the damn question? What happened in that time frame?” I
explain the events. “What did Jake think about this Evan guy?”
“They’ve
been close friends for the last four years. I was away at school all that time
and only met Evan the night after I came home for the summer.”
“Hold
on. I need another beer. Want one?” Luke stands up.
“Don’t
you have a party to get to?”
“There
will always be other parties. This shit just got interesting. Want one or not?”
He lifts up my almost empty bottle and drinks the rest of my beer. “Guess you
need one now.” He disappears into the house and returns with two new ones.
“What
the hell was that?”
He
smiles. “I wasn’t going back into the house in five minutes when you could have
just finished that bitch in five seconds. Now, let me get this straight. Jake
has had this crush on you for years. The minute you’re back in town, you fall
for this other guy and start dating him, while Jake sits back and watches.”
“I
don’t think he was watching,” I reply.
“Trust
me. He was watching. Is this the real reason you left Tampa? Because of Jake?”
“Mostly.”
“Ready
for my theory?” He smirks.
“Okay.
Let’s hear it,” I say, a little interested.
“If I
were this Jake guy, what I see when the girl I’ve loved forever shows up at my
door, regardless of the fact you were probably looking for his sister, is an
opportunity to be the good guy. This is what I would have been watching and
waiting desperately for. The jerk breaks your heart and I step in to be the
knight in shining armor, if you will. I comfort you, help you relax, get you
anything you want. In this case, alcohol. Bonus for me, by the way. After
getting your mind off of the boyfriend, I remind you of all the positive things
that have happened between the two of us…making myself look better than I
really am, of course. Then you start smiling and maybe even laughing here and
there. That’s when I start with shit like brushing your hair away from your
face, rubbing your arm, touching you. Mostly because I’ve waited forever to do
it and know you won’t stop me at this point because it’s exactly what you need.
Someone to care for you. I even go as far as to convince you to come to bed
with me and hope, pray, make a deal with the fucking devil that by the time the
sun rises, you realize that the two of us were meant to be and you’d stay. We
get to live happily ever after, the way I’ve always dreamt it would be.”
“No
way. Jake isn’t like that.” I refuse to believe it.
“He
may be your friend, Kacie, but he’s still a guy who would do anything to get
you to see him the way you saw Evan. If he really has had feelings for you for
that long, I can guarantee every time he was there when you and Evan were
together was pure hell for him. Every time Evan touched you, kissed you, showed
up or left somewhere with you, it was fucking torture for Jake. Hell, I’m
surprised he hung around that long. I don’t think I would have been able to
take it.”
He
sits silently while I process what he’s said. The time we were at Meg’s
Memorial Day party comes to mind. It was before Evan and I were actually
dating, but we had gone in to take showers and I fell asleep before Evan
finished. He stayed with me for the rest of the night. Jade told me how Jake
kept watching the house, waiting for us to come out, drinking entirely too
much. Would Jake really use my weakness as an opportunity to sleep with me? Did
I play right into his plan?
“Please
don’t take what I’m saying to mean that you should hate Jake. I don’t mean for
you to change your feelings toward him. I’m sure he’s still a very good friend.
The point I’m trying to make is you shouldn’t be the one taking all the blame,”
he says.
“It
doesn’t really matter at this point, does it?” I whisper.
“Yes,
it does. You ran away from home because of it. You shouldn’t have been made to
feel that way.”
“What
if you’re right?” I ask.
He
shrugs. “He’s the only one who can tell you the truth. The question is, if
that’s what he tells you, can you live with it?”
“I’m
not sure.”
“Something
to think about then.”
Luke
and I spend the rest of the night talking about anything other than his
ex-girlfriend or my problems. It’s nice to get to know him. He tells me stories
about how Addison used to babysit him when their parents would go out together.
He admits he had a thing for her as a teenager, but what guy wouldn’t admire
her? Apparently, he and my brother hang out and play basketball when Noah and
Addie are in town. It feels good learning that Noah mentions me once in a while,
even though he and I haven’t really talked much in the last few years. I wonder
what has changed for my big brother since he’s now all about us getting closer.
Honestly, I don’t care. I miss the days Noah would take me to the park and
spend hours teaching me how to throw a football or swing a bat. It’s nice to
have him back.
***
Morning
comes all too quickly. I said goodbye to Luke last night since he had to go to
work early today. He promised to get in touch if he ever decided to venture
down to Tampa. Once I pack my car, I’m ready to go home. At some point between
last night and now, I’ve decided it’s time to stop letting my fears and other
people dictate my life. First it was my parents, then Evan and Jake. No more.
I’m done with all of it. So I made some mistakes and I’ll have to deal with them.
Everyone has. It’s part of life. What I do about the mistakes is what will
define who I am. As a matter of fact, I may even make another mistake or two in
the process.
Walking
into my house is such a relief. There’s no greater feeling than being home. It’s
a little tough going into my room and remembering all the nights Evan stayed
here. I immediately strip my bed of everything and throw it all in the laundry
room. I’ll wash it or throw it away another time. I replace the sheets with
ones I haven’t used, retrieve brand new pillows Gram always kept in the hall
closet in case she had an unexpected guest, and pull a comforter from one of
the spare bedrooms. It’s off-white, so at least it will do until I can get a
new one. I even decide to repaint my whole room. That will give me something to
do tomorrow. Who am I kidding? It will give me something to do for the whole
next week because I suck at painting.
Once
my bed is remade, I take a shower and start getting ready. I’m tired from the
long drive, but I want to go out. As I’m just about finished applying my
makeup, I hear Jade coming up the steps, calling my name. I’m not sure whether
to brace myself for a fight or a huge ass hug.
“Kacie!
Are you up here?” Jade calls out.
“In
the bathroom,” I say, sticking my head out of the doorway just in time to see
her coming into my room. She comes running over to hug me tight. I guess the
fight will be later.
“Why
didn’t you call? I would’ve come straight home after work,” she says when she
finally lets go.
“I
didn’t want to ruin your plans. You usually go out on Thursday nights.”
“I
usually go out on Thursday nights with
you
,” she adds. Before anything
else is said, my front door slams loud enough that we can hear it all the way
up here and someone else starts shouting my name from downstairs. “You were
probably waiting for me to yell and curse you out, but I decided to hold off
since you’re about to get your ass handed to you. He’s been a fucking nightmare
these last few days.”
She
walks over and discloses our location. His footsteps almost echo as they come
down the hallway. Jade stands just inside the doorway as Jake appears. He looks
as if he hasn’t slept in days. He pauses for a moment until he sees me. Anger
leaves his face and is replaced with relief. He rushes over and tugs me into
his chest so hard, I can barely breathe.
At
first, he says nothing, which is a little scarier than listening to him yell.
Jake slides his hands up to hold my face so I’m forced to look at him. His eyes
are watering up, another thing I’ve never seen. “Do you have any idea what you
put Jade through? What you put
me
through?” I can’t answer him because I
watch as a single tear runs down his cheek. “If you ever pull that fucking shit
again, I swear to you, Kacie, I will hunt your ass down and make you regret it.
Do you understand me?” The shock of seeing him so upset only allows me to nod.
“Really?
That’s it? I’m so disappointed in you, big brother. She deserves much worse
than that,” Jade expresses her frustration. “I should have done the screaming.”
Jake
hugs me again and kisses my head. I can only hug him back. “We have to talk
about what happened,” he whispers so Jade is unable to hear him. I start to
shake my head. “Not now, but we have to at some point. I’m so sorry.” He kisses
my head one more time and pulls away. He’s sorry? Shouldn’t
I
be the one
who’s sorry? What if Luke was right?