Left in the Dust: A Standalone Bad Boy Romance (25 page)

It had only been a few hours since my last fix and my body was already screaming at me for more. I checked under the mattress and pulled out my little baggy of gray powder. There was only enough for one last taste. I'd have to figure out a way to get more tonight or else I'd probably die. My money was all gone and I was too weak to try and steal more.

Tonight I'd have to use my womanly ways to get more smack. I didn't even want to know what I looked like anymore. My little room here didn't have a mirror and I didn't care to find out. I'd never been with a man before and I had kept my body untouched all the way through college. But now I was ready to throw it all away for just one more fix.

I emptied the contents of the baggy carefully onto my silver spoon. Had to make sure I didn't waste any by spilling it. I pulled out my lighter from my back pocket and tried to trigger it. My shaking hands were getting worse but I was finally able to light it. The heroin bubbled on the spoon and I knew it was ready.

Injecting was the best high—straight into the veins. It was the only way to fly. I took my syringe and soaked up all the smack from the spoon before piercing my arm. I didn't even bother taking the syringe out before I fell back on the mattress in a blaze of glory. Life never felt this good before.

Reality faded away and I found myself back at that same college party a couple years back—the first time I ever got a taste of drugs. My entire life I had been such a perfect student, always studying and getting good grades. Everything changed when I went to college and met my roommate, Rebecca.

Rebecca was the complete opposite of me. She didn't come to college to get good grades. No, Rebecca wanted to party and fuck as many guys as possible. But that was her choice. It didn't have to be mine.

The first semester, I played the good student and kept to myself. Rebecca would nag me to go out with her and I'd always said no. My parents had spent their entire savings to get me to college and I wanted to make them proud. That was all true but deep down I was scared to death. I never really had any friends growing up and I was terribly frightened of going to a party. What would I even talk about with strangers?

Once the semester was over, I didn't have anymore excuses left. It was the last night before everyone went back home for winter break and Rebecca was talking about some huge party being thrown by Alpha Beta Kai—the biggest bro fraternity on campus.

“Tonight is the big night, Erica. You're finally going to a party with me,” Rebecca stated.

I laughed her off and shook my head. “I have a lot of packing to do tonight. My parents are picking me up in the morning.” I placed my neatly folded clothes into a suitcase.

“Not going to work this time. You're coming with me or I'll drag you there myself.” Rebecca grabbed the clothes out of my suitcase and threw them back in my drawers. “You'll have plenty of time to pack. Now let's go.”

I stood there, my feet firmly planted on the ground. It would take a bulldozer to get me to move. But really all it took was Rebecca's hand grabbing mine and pulling me out the door.

We came to a giant mansion with the fraternity letters nailed to the front door. The music was screaming from inside and there were already drunk people littered all over the front lawn. We walked inside to find the place filled to the brim with people. People squeezed through the crowds with their red cups raised above their heads to avoid spilling.

“Want something to drink, Erica?” Rebecca asked, swaying side to side to the music.

One drink, Erica. That's all you get.
I was a little nervous to try alcohol for the first time but I couldn't escape it the rest of my life. It was time to dip my feet into the pool. I nodded to Rebecca and she ran off. I rested awkwardly against the wall and watched the students dance. A guy tried to come up and ask me to dance but I politely declined, my face turning an apple red.

Rebecca finally found me and shoved a cup in my hand. “Whiskey and coke,” she said, grinning.

I took a sip and almost coughed it up. There was barely any coke in there. Rebecca should never be trusted to mix drinks. I took another sip and it burned a lot less. The alcohol was already going to my head and my anxiety was disappearing. This partying thing wasn't too bad. I don't know why I had been scared for so long.

“You cool, here?” Rebecca asked, “I'm going to go find John.” The name sounded familiar and then I remembered that he was the guy Rebecca kept interrupting my studying to talk about. John was a senior and apparently God's gift to woman according to Rebecca. I told her I'd be fine and she went off to find her prince charming.

The rest of the party was a blur as I continued to fall deeper and deeper into alcohol. I was full-on drunk from just one drink and it felt terrific. Turns out, I love to dance. I didn't even know my body could move in those ways.

After my feet felt like they would fall off, I went out to search for Rebecca. She was probably having sex with John. I found her in one of the downstairs bedrooms sitting next to John and snorting powder off a coffee table. Every warning bell in my head went off telling me to run as far way as possible. But Rebecca waved me over and my drunk self couldn't say no.

I plopped down on the couch and watched John snort the drug. I thought it was cocaine but later I knew it was heroin. John sniffed up as much as he could and wiped his nose back and forth, his eyes all big. He handed me the rolled up dollar bill and I sat there not knowing what to do.

“Come on, Erica. It will make you feel like a million bucks,” Rebecca whispered in my ear. I was too drunk to say no. Didn't all the celebrities do this? I bent over the coffee table and placed the money in my nostril. I didn't even remember snorting anything. Just a sudden rush of relaxation. I sat back on the couch with the biggest smile on my face. Rebecca looked at me and grinned. I just chilled there for hours, staring at the wall. I'd never felt this at peace before. It was like I became who I always wanted to be.

But heroin was never as good that first time. In the beginning, I did it a couple times a week to get through the hardest classes. Then my tolerance began to build up. I had to use more and more just to get that same high. Soon I was using it everyday and selling my school books just to pay for it.

I dropped out of college and didn't have the courage to tell my parents. I just ran away. Ran away from everything. The only thing that mattered was the high.

And it felt so damn good.

Back on my piss-stained mattress, my high was hitting its peak. Every time I injected, I was reminded with why I could never go back to my old life. This was who I wanted to be. Life could never be this good without drugs.

My high was interrupted when a tall guy with bulging muscles came barging into my room.

I had one rule when working for the Kelly brothers: no women or children. I didn't mind asking someone a question but I would never lay my hands on a woman. And the Kellys knew that. Respected it. This junkie whore with a needle still in her arm was no exception.

I walked up to the frail figure on the mattress and looked into her sunken eyes. There was nothing there. She was as high as a kite. I picked the syringe out of her arm and threw it across the room. This chick would have been a knockout if she didn't let the drugs take over.

I never liked drugs. Never got the taste for it. Most of the men I worked with used because we were around it all day. But it wasn't for me. My drinking problem was already enough for me. No reason to fuck up my life even more.

I lifted the girl until she was sitting up. “I'm looking for your dealer?” I asked politely. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head and drool dripped from her lips and onto my arm. I shook her shoulders a couple times until her eyes came back and looked at me. “Who is your dealer?”

No response. I wasn't going to get anything out of this junkie. But I couldn't go back to the Kellys empty-handed. My only option was to take her to my place and get the info out of her when she sobered up.

In the back of the head, a small voice whispered, “
What are you doing, Brody?
”

This steroid-fueled monster was screaming at me and messing with my perfect high. Everything out of his mouth just sounded like gibberish. I covered my ears but he wouldn't stop. I wanted to yell at him to get away from me but I couldn't find my voice. I felt like Ariel in the Little Mermaid. If only I could sing again.

The man picked me up and I tried to call for help but all that came out was a whimper. He carried me through the hallway and I felt like flying. The entire New York cityscape was beneath me as I flew through the clouds. Superman had nothing on me.

One of my homeless neighbors came out of his room and tried to take me away from the monster. The man knocked my neighbor to the ground and kept on walking. He carried me down the stairs and it went on and on. Down we went into hell not stopping for anybody.

Suddenly we were outside and the sun was blinding. I tried to shield my eyes but the sun was just too bright. There was no way too keep it out. If only it could be night time.

The man threw me into his car and we drove away. The nice rumbling from the passenger seat sang me softly to sleep.

The junkie threw up in my pristine Dodge Charger and I wanted to toss her out the car. The whole thing was going to have to be detailed after this and it wasn't going to be cheap. This wasn't going to be worth it.

I parked and lifted her limp body from my car. She was sound asleep now. I carried her into my apartment building and old Mrs. Jones from a few doors down peeked out from her door. “Everything okay, Mr. Jacobs ?” she croaked out, raising an eyebrow.

“Don't worry about it, Mrs. Jones. Just go back inside.” She harrumphed and closed her door. I was probably going to miss out on her Christmas cookies this year.

I unlocked my apartment door while still holding the chick. It wasn't hard since she barely weighed ninety pounds. I navigated through the mess of dirty clothes and empty pizza boxes, making it to my bedroom. I dropped her on my bed and she instantly curled up with my comforter.

I wondered how she got in this mess in the first place. Her black blouse and jeans were torn and ripped but I could tell they were expensive brands. Did she run away from something or someone? Drugs can really fuck up a person's life.

The Kellys weren't very patient and I'd have to give them an update soon. What could I tell them? I kidnapped the junkie and now she's held up in my apartment. They'd think I was crazy. But there was a method to my madness. If I could get her to speak about her dealer, the Kellys would look the other way if I didn't check in with them tonight.

I went to the kitchen and looked for a clean glass. The place hadn't been cleaned in years and I didn't even remember the last time I used a glass. I went to the sink and filled up a dirty one with water. It was the best I could do. I placed the water on the nightstand next to the bed. She'd wake up soon enough and be deathly thirsty.

I splashed water on my face in the bathroom, staring at my dirty mug in the mirror.
What if she didn't give up the dealer, Brody?
Torture was my best tool in the toolbox but I couldn't do that to a woman. No matter what. The Kellys had been forgiving when I'd refused torturing a kid a while back. But this was different. They'd cut this chick's head off if it meant getting their drugs back. I just had to hope that I could convince her to spill her guts.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, shocking my system. I pulled it out and the screen read: Damon Kelly. He wanted an update on my progress but I wasn't ready to give him one yet. I hit the end call button and shoved the phone back in my pocket. I could dodge his first call but if I tried to do the same thing on the second call, Damon would have his dogs out looking for me.

The junkie was still sound asleep in my bed when I went back to the kitchen. I opened the fridge and found a beer can sitting all alone in the very back. I cracked the top and drank half of it on the way to the bedroom. It sure took the edge off the situation. I took a seat across from the bed and watched the chick sleep in the dark, sipping on my cold beer. This might take awhile.