Leaving Yesterday (28 page)

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Authors: Kathryn Cushman

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BOOK: Leaving Yesterday
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All parties came to an agreement, leaving Rick and me to spend the next two days working out the financial details of Kurt’s bail. By the time we finally arranged everything, we were well aware that if Kurt skipped town, we would lose our house and everything in it. It seemed a safe enough deal to me.

I couldn’t believe how quickly things had changed. Hope sprouted from the tiniest of seeds. My son was going to come home.

Friday morning was the first time I ventured out of my house for something that didn’t directly relate to legal proceedings. I needed to clean some things out of my office at the church, and I needed a few odds and ends at the grocery store. Since I most dreaded the office cleanout, I decided to get it over with first. The sooner I pushed myself past these unpleasant hurdles, the sooner they would be forever behind me. Right? Somehow it seemed a little too optimistic, but I was willing to try.

When I walked down the hallway toward the church office, I could hear light-hearted chatter. Just the usual “Look at this typo” kind of office conversation. As soon as I walked through the doorway, however, conversations disappeared behind a saddening, deafening silence. It was amazing how fast sound waves could disappear. No echo. Nothing.

I nodded toward the empty cardboard box in my hand. “I … came to clean out my office.”

Beth looked at me with tears in her eyes. She jumped to her feet, ran around her desk, and had me locked in an all-out hug before I even realized what was happening. “Oh, sweetie, how are you?”

Over her shoulder, I could see Jana sitting at her desk, studiously making a point of not looking my direction. I hugged Beth for just a moment and then pulled away. “I’m hanging in there. It’s easier now that Kurt is out on bail.”

“I can imagine.”

I think we both knew that she really couldn’t imagine, but she wanted to help and I appreciated that. I turned my attention to the suddenly industrious Jana and took a deep breath. “Good morning, Jana.”

“Morning.” She didn’t look up from her computer.

The slight stung. We may not have been confidants, but we’d been what I would consider friends for the last few years. I had known when I came forward there would be some at the church who would have this reaction. Funny how the people who I most thought would judge me—like Beth—had been so supportive, and the people who I thought were my friends— like Jana—were the first to turn away. I didn’t want to stand here and prolong the agony any longer than necessary. I started toward my little office.

“I’ll just be a few minutes.”

I closed the door behind me and sat at my desk. Where to start? I removed my own books from the small bookshelf, pulled a few personal items from the desk drawers, and then put a framed family photo on top of it all.

Someone knocked at the door. “Come in.”

Ken Maddox entered, careful to leave the door open behind him—as he always did when in an office alone with a female. “I hate to see you go.”

I knew that he meant it from his heart. I also knew that if I stayed, the backlash would fall on him, probably even harder than it would on me. I’d caused enough damage to the people I cared about. I couldn’t do it to one more. I gave him a wry grin.

“Care to give me a rough estimate of how many irate calls you’ve gotten from people who didn’t know I’d resigned, demanding that you fire me?”

He smiled sadly. “I’ve had a few.”

I opened my desk drawers for one last look, to make certain I wasn’t leaving anything behind. “Can’t say as I blame them. If the situation were the other way around, I’m hardly the person I’d want directing the women of our church. I mean, when I decided to tell a lie, I made sure I did it in a big way.” I closed the drawer with a final snap and felt my throat closing in. “I’ve loved every minute here. I’d really like to apologize to you for all the trouble.”

He shook his head. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re welcome here anytime.”

But we both knew I wouldn’t be coming back.

Thirty- Eight

“Mr. Scott would like to see you this afternoon to discuss your case. Would you be available at three o’clock?” Ryan Scott’s ever-efficient secretary had the perky voice of a cheerleader turned receptionist.

“Sure, I’ll be there.” Like I had anything else to do besides hide inside my house as I’d been doing for the last six days. The story surrounding the case was still news fodder, and with my fate about to be decided, I didn’t see it vanishing off the front page anytime soon.

I called Lacey. “Ryan Scott wants to see me this afternoon. You want to come with me?”

She paused for such a long time that I began to wonder if she were still on the line. “I think … you should call Rick and see if he wants to go with you.”

Over the course of the last few days, Rick had given a support I would never have thought him capable of. He’d even been staying in the guest room since Monday. “I don’t know.”

“He wants to help you, Alisa. It’s time that you quit pretending like you can handle everything, and let him be the man he wants to be.”

Let him be the man he wants to be
. The words slammed into me. Is that what I’d been doing in all the years since Nick’s death? Had I been so preoccupied with putting on appearances, with showing everyone what strong faith I had, that I’d completely shut out the people God had put in my life to help me? “I … uh … maybe you’re right. I’ll give him a call.”

My fingers shook a little as I pushed the buttons. Whether or not Rick wanted to help me, he didn’t like personal calls at work. Unless it was an emergency. Wouldn’t this qualify?

“Alisa? Everything okay?”

I could hear the roar of heavy equipment in the background. “Well, Ryan Scott wants to see me in his office this afternoon at three, something about my case. I wondered if you would want to come with me?”

I could hear shouting in the background—something was obviously going wrong at the jobsite. “Hey listen, I’ve got to go.” I heard a shuffling sound like a hand over the phone and could just make out him saying, “I’ll be right there,” then the shuffling again and, “I’ll be by to pick you up at two thirty.” He hung up without another word.

I spent the afternoon wondering if he was mad that I called. Would he resent this because of a busy afternoon at work he’d be missing?

I watched out the window for his truck to appear. I didn’t want to inconvenience him by making him wait. If he was upset already, there was no reason to add to it. At 2:27 I saw his truck coming down the street. By the time he pulled into the driveway, I was standing ready at the passenger’s side. I climbed in. “Sorry to disrupt your day like this. I know you were busy.”

“Yeah, well, you happened to call at the exact minute that Kevin hit an underground waterline. You should have seen the geyser.” He laughed. “Lucky for us, Carroll Plumbing was working on the business across the street. Between us and those guys, we had it fixed in record time.”

“Good.” I looked out the window, relieved that he wasn’t angry, but found myself worrying about what I was about to hear. Was I about to be locked up? Were official charges about to be filed?

Ryan Scott’s office was upstairs in a chic little shopping alcove just off State Street. I climbed the stairs, looking at all the shoppers, the sidewalk diners laughing and enjoying the carefree spring day. What I wouldn’t have given to be able to do that again. Live my life carefree.

Rick and I sat in the upholstered leather chairs across from Ryan’s large desk and waited for the news. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear it.

“I spent some time talking with the DA’s office today. There are several areas where they can charge you. Destruction of evidence, which is a misdemeanor, but there’s also obstruction of justice and accessory after the fact, both felonies.”

“What are they going to do?”

“They tell me they’re going to file charges for all three.”

Rick reached over and took my hand. “What does that mean?”

“For now, it means that there will be an arraignment hearing where Alisa will be formally charged.”

“Will we need to post bail?” I was thankful that Rick was here to carry on this conversation, because I’d lost my ability to think or speak.

“I expect them to release her on promise to appear. She turned herself in, your son is under arrest, they don’t expect her to be a flight problem. What they will do is use her to keep the pressure on Kurt. That’s why the full slate of charges—they want to make sure he knows something bad could happen to his mother if he chooses to run.”

I finally found the gumption to at least nod. “Okay. When will all this take place?”

“They’re taking their time so they can keep their options open. Next week at the earliest. I’ll call you as soon as I know something for sure.”

Rick squeezed my hand and looked at me. “It’s going to be all right. We’ll be fine. We’ll all be fine.”

I wasn’t sure how he felt he could make that statement, considering there was no way things were going to be “fine,” but I didn’t have the strength or the desire to argue. I just needed him to somehow be right.

Thirty-Nine

Sunday morning, I arrived at church just seconds before the start of the service. I didn’t want to put myself in the position of having to stand around and make small talk. Instead of my usual spot, I found a place on the back row, hoping to remain mostly undetected. It was a hope that proved utterly unworkable.

“Oh, Alisa!” Kristyn almost yelled when she spotted me. “I’m so glad you’re here.” She made her way over and hugged me, followed closely by Carleigh and Beth. It felt good to be welcomed. “Do you want to come sit with us?”

I shook my head. “Go ahead and sit with your families. I’m fine.” As they walked away, I took my seat, feeling less selfconscious than I would have expected. That’s when I noticed the young couple a few rows up. He turned to look at me and then whispered something to his wife. She slowly turned her head, but jerked around straight when she saw me looking at her. She said something to him, and soon I could see their shoulders shaking with silent giggles. As I looked away and scanned the room, I could almost feel the whiplash of heads turning. I’d expected no less, but that didn’t make it any easier.

I felt someone take the seat beside me and turned to look. Rick said, “Okay if I sit here?” His face looked as uncertain and insecure as he’d looked when he’d asked me for our first date—some twenty-five years ago.

“Of course.” I looked at him and smiled. I leaned a little closer and whispered, taking care to keep my tone light so that he didn’t understand it for anything but the light-hearted teasing it was. “What are you doing here?”

“All this time I’ve thought God was only a crutch for weaklings, but after watching what you and Kurt just did, I’m thinking He’s much more than that. And that’s what I want to be. More.”

He sat beside me during the service, and I prayed the whole time that he would hear what he needed to hear, that he would be moved to action, and that he would be open to the Spirit. As the service ended, he stood up and looked at me. “Well, how about I take my two favorite ladies to lunch?”

“Sounds great, and I’m sure Caroline will be thrilled.”

“Good. Maybe next weekend we can drive up to Templeton for a visit. Do you think Jodi and Monte would be okay with that?”

“I think they’d love it.”

It was Rick’s first visit since not long after Monte and Jodi bought the place. He drove slowly up the driveway, looking all around. “Wow, they’ve really fixed this place up since I was here last.”

“Yeah, your son has played a big part in that. He and Monte have been working themselves ragged, I think.”

Just then, a puff of dust began moving up the driveway toward us. I squinted into the sun and saw Kurt approaching fast on the quad. He skidded to a stop right beside the truck. “Hey. I saw you guys pull in. Thought I’d come grab Short Stuff and see if she wants to go for a quick thrill ride through the hills with me.”

Caroline was out the door and had her hand on the back of the quad, before she turned and looked at me. “Is it okay?”

“I guess it better be, since you’re already halfway on the thing.” I tried to give her a scolding look, but she’d stopped paying attention.

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