Leaving Liberty (17 page)

A rush of pleasure went through him.
Although it shouldn’t really matter, shouldn’t make any difference. He wanted
to pretend that her words didn’t touch him. He nodded, hoping his face showed
friendliness and nothing more.

 “You and your patched heart. Me
and my dad,” she said. It was the first time he’d ever heard her refer to Rocky
as her ‘dad’.

           
“You said grief is different for everyone.” She was looking at her window, eyes
on the view. “And I really haven’t ever grieved my childhood. I’ve been angry,
bitter, determined to never make anyone else as unhappy and worked to be the
best teacher I could possibly be.” Her voice was low, rough. “But I’ve never
grieved.”

           
Lane thought of his parents refusing to come back to Liberty, of Jamie throwing
her energy into her kids and woodworking. Of himself, some days being so busy
he was too tired to think of everything he’d lost. “Grief is weird. It’s
exhausting even when you’re not really doing anything.”

           
 “True. It takes so much energy some days, just to walk down the sidewalk,
from the library to the doughnut shop. It’s like I’m working through all those
memories on the way. By the time I get there, I’m ready to go give up.”

He let the truck drift to a stop behind
the car in front of them, fighting to focus on his driving. Cars were at a
standstill. Lane whispered a silent prayer for the timing and turned to her, in
awe of her honesty, gripped by the rawness of her emotions. She was smiling,
but it was the smile of a person who was fighting not to cry. He stretched out
his hand, enfolding her small one. “I wish I could be the strength you need.”

           
She glanced down at their hands and he wondered if she would pull away,
shrugging. He meant every word, knew the grief she had to walk through before
she could be free and he wished with all his heart he could hold her up on the
journey.

           
Instead of retreating, she moved, lacing her slender fingers with his. She
pressed her lips together. After a moment, she reached out her other hand,
running her fingers over his knuckles. Her touch was warm, electrifying and he almost
missed her whispered “thank you.”

           
A sharp honk from the car behind him brought him back to the road with a jolt.
He slipped his hand from hers and shifted into gear. The atmosphere in the
truck cab had changed, once again, like volatile weather. They had teased and
laughed, told stories, and secrets, let go of misunderstandings and faced
grief. Lane sucked in a breath. The realization of what this woman was becoming
to him was so sudden, he ached with it. He felt fear like he hadn’t felt in a
long time.

Love means loss. Everyone knows that.

           
As the cars ahead crept forward, Lane worked to keep his expression neutral but
inside he felt like his heart was awakening to a new sort of misery. Old hurts
were healing, and Daisy was growing past her own terrible memories, but Lane
was looking into a future he didn’t want. It was a future of yearning for a
woman just out of reach, a woman of grace and faith and inner strength. No
matter whether she succeeded in her plans or not, whether she and Rocky reunited,
she was leaving. And his heart just wasn’t getting the message.

Chapter
Fourteen

           
Daisy let out a soft breath and tried to force her heart to a slower rhythm.
So, maybe this trip wasn’t such a great idea after all. They might get a few
bargains on the summer reading prizes, but she was risking much more than it
was worth.

           
She shot Lane a quick glance. He was unshakeable, as usual. What did it take to
make him lose his composure? She couldn’t imagine. She was a bundle of
emotions, all fighting for space inside her heart and he was steady, calm.

           
Swallowing hard, she watched the skyline loom ever closer. And when he’d
reached for her hand, offered her comfort, she had responded without even
pausing to think. His touch had been like food to a starving person. She made a
sharp noise in the back of her throat, embarrassment flooding through her.

           
“You okay?” Lane was giving her a sharp look. “You don’t get carsick, do you?”

           
“No, I’m fine. Just… thinking about the slow pace here. I didn’t know traffic
was so bad in Denver.”

           
He nodded. “It can be. Usually when we’re in a hurry.”

           
She felt her lips twitch. “So if I pretend we’re just out here for fun, traffic
will pick up?”

           
“Exactly.” He made an exaggerated stretch with one arm, across the seat, hand
resting just behind her shoulder. “Listen up, Denver! Just Daisy and me, taking
a leisurely drive to the big city on a Friday morning for a little shopping and
some lunch. We have no other cares in the world. Our only plan is to have a
good time.”

           
Daisy felt her heart lift at the thought. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to spend the
day with Lane, no agenda, no tasks, no awkwardness? Just two people getting to
know each other. She couldn’t help a wave of yearning that pushed against the
reality of the situation. They were less than two random people, they were
pretend-friends who both cared about the kids of Liberty. She glanced at him,
noting the way the sun made deep shadows under his jaw. She could smell the
soap on his skin of his hand, just behind her. Her eyes traveled down the
length of his arm, past the rolled cuff of his shirt sleeve, to a small white
scar on his forearm, to the veins that stood in sharp relief against his tan.
She wanted more than anything she’d wanted for a long time for his
light-hearted teasing to be true.

           
A country school teacher who lived in a cabin at the edge of the woods and a
country police officer with a crooked grin who drove his grandfather’s old red
Ford? She could see it, if she squinted a little and ignored the voice of
reason that was playing on a loop in her mind. They would be so happy, the two
of them and a big yellow dog named Sam.

           
He turned his gaze from the creeping cars ahead and cocked an eyebrow. “It
wasn’t that funny.”

           
She felt the huge grin on her face for the first time and put a hand to her
lips. “I was just thinking.”

           
“That my story wouldn’t fool anybody?” His voice held a note of something like
regret. “You’re probably right.”

           
Shaking her head, Daisy tried to find the right words to explain but in the
end, there wasn’t any way to describe the scenes that had flashed through her
head.

           
His cell phone rang, filling the truck cab with soft musical chords. Lane
glanced at it and frowned.

           
“You can answer that, you know,” she said, repeating his own words back to him.

           
He grinned. “You don’t want me to, believe me.”

           
Probably a girlfriend. Daisy squared her shoulders. She didn’t care who he
talked to, or why. “Traffic is practically stopped. Just answer it. I’ll
pretend like I’m not even here.” He can coo to his heart’s content and she’d
just focus on those fluffy clouds in the distance.

           
Shrugging, Lane took his arm from the back of the seat and pushed a button on
the hands-free device. “Hi, Mom.”

           
Daisy managed not to shoot him a look. Why wouldn’t she want him to answer? Was
his mother unpleasant? Rude? A big gossip? Daisy searched her memory for
anything on Lane’s parents but only came up with vague impression of the
perfect family but then, everybody had looked perfect to her when she was
fifteen.

           
“Lane, honey, I just talked to Jamie and she said you were headed into Denver
for the day. Why didn’t you tell me? We can have lunch. Your father made his
famous BBQ ribs and I can whip up a nice salad. I even have some coconut cake
from yesterday. It’s still nice and fresh.” Her voice was sweet and cheerful.

           
He gave Daisy a told-you-so grin. “Sounds really nice, but I’m just running an
errand for Nita. She’s sick and the summer librarian needs some supplies for
the reading program. I’ve got to be back by noon.”

           
“Well, stop by and pick up some ribs to take home. I’ve got a few things for my
grandbabies, too. It’s not too far out of your way.”

           
“I know, but…” His voice trailed off and Daisy could see him debating. A thrum
of alarm went through her. Would they end up eating with his parents? Did they
remember the sullen, poverty-stricken teenager that she’d been long ago?

           
He looked to her and raised his brows. It was up to her.

Her stomach dropped into her shoes. She
could pretend she was in a hurry to get their supplies and get back. But Daisy hated
pretending. For a second she considered swallowing her pride and asking him to
pass, because she wasn’t up to having lunch with the Perfect Parents.

“Lane, honey?” His mom’s voice was still
soft, patient.

Daisy wanted to groan out loud. She
could see Lane didn’t have much choice. He could insist and hurt his moms’
feelings, or Daisy could act like a grown up and get through it as best she
could.

She lifted her chin and shrugged back.

“Okay, I’ll be there by eleven,” he
said.

“Perfect! I’ll let your dad know and
drive safely!” She hung up, the sound of her happiness seemed to hang in the
air between them.

Great. They were headed to meet his
parents. It couldn’t be any worse than the hundreds of awkward situations she’d
endured growing up in Liberty. She would deal with it.

           
“Sorry about that.” He didn’t sound too sorry. In fact, he looked sort of
pleased.

           
Daisy brushed back her hair and pasted on a smile. “No big deal. It’s perfectly
fine. She sounds really nice.”

           
“Oh, she is.” But something in the way he said it made Daisy wonder what he was
thinking.

           
Traffic picked up and the lanes seemed to empty out for the first time since
they’d come into sight of the city. Maybe he was afraid his mother would think they
were a couple. Well, she would be sure to make it clear that Lane was still the
catch of the town. He would never settle for someone like Daisy, no matter
where she lived. “I’m just along for the ride. They won’t even notice me.”

           
She glanced at him and felt his tension in the sudden silence between them. He
didn’t need to be worried about her. Daisy straightened her back and smoothed
her skirt. She’d faced down lots of gossipy folks in her life. She wasn’t going
to roll over now.

                                                                       
***

           
Lane loaded the bags into the space behind the truck seat and wished there had
been some way to explain to his mother that now was not the time to pick up BBQ
ribs. His mother had never been one to let her children be distant, even if it
was just for a day. Driving through Denver and not stopping for a few minutes
would be like passing her on the sidewalk without a hug.

           
As he settled behind the wheel, he slid a glance at the woman beside him and
stifled a sigh. Daisy’s lips were tilted up in the stiffest version of a smile
he’d ever seen. She had been quiet as the made their way through the dollar
store, choosing prizes quickly and marking them from the list. No light-hearted
chit chat, not even a giggle when he tried on a bright pink feather boa from
the display. She wasn’t quite the type to be all-out silly, but he could see
the anxiety in her movements, in her expression.

           
“I think the kids will love these prizes. You made a great list.”

           
“They were helping me along.” Daisy lifted one shoulder. “Jasmine said Marie
used to give them ice cream coupons so I’ll have to call the local shop and see
if they’ll donate some this year.”

           
He rested his hands on the wheel for a second, thinking. “Jasmine, little
dark-haired girl? Has an older sister?”

           
“Right. Cranky older sister who texts in the back of the room during every
craft. I’m glad I don’t work with teens all the time. I’d quit my job.”

           
“Their mom passed away last year from lung cancer. No dad in the picture.
Breezy is her guardian.” He felt her shock before he saw her expression.

           
“I didn’t know.” He knew that feeling, the one that made your words seem small
and mean when you looked at them with new eyes. “I… I’ve always hated the local
gossip but maybe I need to tune in a little better.” Her voice was barely
audible over the truck engine as it idled.

           
Lane turned and tried to express his understanding in a simple smile. “You need
a cheat sheet.”

           
“Maybe I just need to be nicer. Marie loved everyone. These kids really need
her.” The barest hitch in the last word betrayed her grief. Her chin was down,
brow furrowed.