Least Likely To Survive (29 page)

Finally free of the judgmental eyes of the trees, I was able to stop and take another look around while figuring out which direction to continue in.  Looking to my right, I caught sight of a relatively safe looking rock, and took that as a sign it was time to sit and rest a bit.  I stumbled on the roots and loose rocks littering the forest floor as I made my way over to the VW Bus sized boulder, innocuously sitting amongst the fuchsia stalks of telephone cords winding up from the ground and snaking across the rock.  It was still light out, so I reasoned they were docile enough to leave me be.  They only got really irritating at night with their constant babbling and incessant giggling.  Really though, they were like preteen girls until they got older and lost their twists, developing into the much more mature Ethernet cables that always ended up refereeing for the Twig Beasts and Leaf Beaks.  They normally weren’t too much of a nuisance, but when they got to jousting; they could be awfully unmanageable. 

Catching my breath, I leaned back, and languished in the cool feel of the coarse boulder beneath my fingers.  I knew I needed to keep moving, but fuck I was tired.  I opened my eyes and sat up straight as an amber blob of Jell-O was rolling itself up the side of my boulder.  It stopped and stared at me quizzically for a moment, before addressing me.

“You don’t belong here.”  Its voice was a smooth burst of sweet caramel nestled amongst a field of sonnets.  The tenor dripped across the air, much like the drops of gelatin that slid down its folds, disappearing back into itself.

“Well
duh
,” I glared back at it, irritated at having my moment of peace interrupted.  “The FAA changed my flight plan and now I’ll be late for class, and I can already hear Sally lecturing me on the importance of punctuality. Those bastards at mission control are going to get a very angrily worded letter from me.”  I heaved a sigh, watching as the air blew the stray curl off my forehead that had managed to escape the messy topknot from under my cap.

It tilted its head at me, measuring me for a moment, before reaching down into its folds, and producing a little gold pocket watch.  I watched with interest as it manipulated the latch, flipping it open to check the time.  Lips that weren’t really there pursed in obvious displeasure at whatever it was the watch had to say; before it flipped it closed and tucked it back into the fold.  Considering the blob was somewhat transparent, I had to wonder where the watch had disappeared to….

”You still have miles to go, and can’t afford to lose focus now,” It tilted its head at me as it gestured to the darkness of the forest beyond the boulder.

“How do you know me?  Do you know the way out?”  His words peaked my interest, and I sat up a little straighter, eager to get some answers.  It didn’t say anything, just stared at me; cold and measuring, I could feel it sizing me up, and I knew, I just knew it found me wanting.  This realization cut cold through my lungs as I considered the verdict this creature had come to with regards to me.  Who did he think he was?  He didn’t fucking know me, and for that matter, I could just as easily dip into his wobbling side with my spatula and eat him.  It never ceased to amaze me at the pomposity of Jell-O.

Shaking its head in condemnation, “How many years have you been running now?  How much further do you need to get before you face the things you run from?”  It stopped, and I watched as it heaved a little, like taking a deep breath before continuing to lecture me.  “You keep going, as if to escape the reality of the situation, but you have yet to learn that the thing you run from is within yourself, and you will never escape it.  Stop blaming circumstance on a God you don’t even believe in and accept that there is no grand design, no greater scheme of reason.  The truth of it is there is no such thing as fate; it’s cause and effect and you can’t do more than react to the random acts of nature as they push you down the path.”

I stopped to consider its words.  I didn’t say anything, just sat and stared as more drops of gelatinous condensation glided down its face.  It wiped them away, leaving a smear of sugar in their wake that sparkled like diamonds clinging to blades of grass after the rain.  It was right, of course, and I hated It that much more for it.  I’d long suspected there was no real reason for the shit I kept encountering, and my ignorance and refusal to act were really just doing no more than letting the current sweep me along.

It melted for a moment in a little umber puddle, and glided Its way closer to me.  Caught up in the crystalline trail of matter left in its wake, I almost missed its next words.  “You have to find your way back.  You have to stand up and fight.  Stop running from the demons battling within you, and starting fighting back.  There is no greater glory than winning the wars we wage within ourselves.”

I really hated when talking dessert was right.  It just stuck the knife a little deeper in my chest at having all my short comings laid out bare in front of me by a complete stranger.  It really wasn’t fair that this dude could see inside me so deeply, I was more exposed than I had ever been in my life.

Running my finger along the surface of the rock I sat upon, I looked over at the sweetly sleeping curls of cords that sighed and chuckled in their dreams.  Wishing I could sleep that soundly or deeply, but knowing that the nightmares that had been haunting me would never grant me that level of serenity.  I felt a tear slide down my cheek as it all came undone.  I didn’t know if it was the creature’s words, or just my sudden acceptance of all the things I had spent so long trying to ignore.  Suddenly all the lies, and chains I had been weaving so carefully throughout the years started to unravel and I was left choking on the air coming into my lungs.  How many lies and deceits had I been holding onto?  Cloaking myself in the armor of the tragic and unfortunate events that made up the core of my memory, twisting me into something I didn’t even recognize anymore.

“Do you see now?”  Its words cut through the din of thoughts that had been screaming in my head, and I looked up, surprised it was still standing there.

“Yeah,” Coughing, I cleared the lump from my throat, “yeah, I get it.”  I had to get out of here.  My class would start soon, and I hadn’t even started that stupid paper.

Wait, no, that can’t be right…
My thoughts turned again, and became muggy.  Where was I going again?  I couldn’t shake the feeling that none of this was right, and there was somewhere, and someone that I desperately had to get back to.  I just couldn’t quite put my finger on any of it.

Pushing myself down the side of the rock, I slid down the boulder until my feet touched the damp earth below.  I straightened my shirt from where it had ridden up, and turned to face Mr. Jell-O.  “So which way?”

He melted into a little puddle and dripped down the rock after me, landing at my feet.  Wordlessly he undulated across the forest floor, and just before disappearing behind a tree across from me, he stopped and turned to look back at me.  “Find the door.  The door will have the answers.”  With that he continued around the trunk, slithering from my sight.

I stood and stared at the empty space it had been occupying just seconds earlier; stumped. 
What fucking door?  Fucking cryptic bastard
.  Shaking my head in irritation I started forward, taking myself deeper into the forest.

The sunlight trickled through the canopy of flower blossoms and leaves above my head, and it cast strange shadows on the soil and dried leaves crunching under my feet.  My head became muggy, and suddenly my limbs started to become heavy to the point I felt like I was trudging through mud.  My focus blurred to where I could no longer recognize the objects around me; just their general shapes and colors.  A wind glided around me, bringing with it the cloying scent of the Ramen that could always be smelled cooking in the neighbor’s apartment.  Familiar and distant, I lost my footing for a moment at the distraction, and almost slammed into the large wooden door in front of me.

Pushing myself back from the grainy planks in front of me so I could see it better, I realized this is what the creature had been talking about.  Running my hands along its surface, I searched for a handle, or a knocker or anything giving a hint at how to open it.  Nothing.  I pushed my full weight against it in the hopes that maybe it pushed open, but still nothing.  The damn thing wouldn’t budge.  I stood and stared at it, as if willing it to open with my very thoughts.  When it did nothing but stand there in all its High And Mighty Woodiness, I turned and leaned my back against it.  Bending my knees, I let myself sink to the ground below my feet.  I was just so tired.  I decided I could take a nap right here, and when I woke up, I would figure out how to open the damn thing.  I set my spatula across my lap, and took my cap off, setting it on the ground next me, closed my eyes, and drifted to sleep.

Chapter 18: A Turn for the Worse.

Thump, thump.  Thump, thump. 
I woke with the vague suspicion my heart was now pounding within the grey matter of my skull.  I knew that couldn’t be right though, and cracked an eyelid.  I was met with near darkness all around my cell. 

My cell
… I was alive.  I was suddenly accosted with the memory of Ian injecting me with whatever the fuck that was, and the ensuing acid trip it led me on.  I’d done a lot of drugs, and been on a lot of trips, but that was by far the strangest fucking thing I had ever conjured up.  I could still see the teeth of the flowers and Mr. Jell-O in my mind.

Shaking my head, I threw my legs over the side of the cot, and heaved myself into an upright position.  No sooner than I got vertical did my stomach decide to let me know it wasn’t pleased, and forced me to fly off the cot and land over the stainless steel toilet.  All the contents of my stomach were spilled forth to the point where I was pretty sure I turned inside out.  After the heaving ceased, I just sat there, with my head resting on the seat trying to remember how to breathe.

I stared into the bowl, watching the bile swirl slowly to the bottom, led by the trail of spit still hanging from my lips.  I let the tears fall in earnest at that point; facing the fact that I had just been grossly violated, and didn’t even know by what.  I missed Jack and the kids, and was losing hope I’d see them again.  I was stuck in a cell, with no way out, and no way to let them know I hadn’t abandoned them.  The sobs continued to retch themselves from my body, as though I were being cleansed and prepared for a future ritual.

Eventually the tears stopped falling, and I felt the dried tracks of salt left on my cheeks.  I breathed in, and could only smell the bile still floating in the bowl, and the antiseptic the toilet had last been cleaned with.  I sat up, and reaching for the roll of paper, tore off a piece to blow my nose and wipe my mouth with.  I dropped it into the bowl and pulled the lever to flush.  I pushed myself off the cold tile floor and using the toilet for stability, got to my feet.  I shuffled to the nearby sink and turned the water on. After twisting the single knob, I discovered the water only ran cold; which suited me just fine.  I cupped my hands under the drizzle and drank deep, splashing more of the icy stuff on my face until I felt almost human again.  I stood leaning on the sink, gripping the sides so hard my knuckles turned white, as I watched the water drip off my face into the steel basin below.

Every muscle in my body screamed in protest as I grudgingly made my way back over to the cot. I sat down and focused on just breathing.  I wanted to scream out my frustration at being caged, but knew it wouldn’t do me any good. What the fuck had I done to warrant this?  Wouldn’t it be more productive to experiment on the actual zombies if Ian was really trying to find a cure for the infection?  It seemed kind of obvious to me, but then again, maybe that wasn’t his intent at all.  I wasn’t even sure why he viewed me as such a threat; I was just a girl trying to get the fuck out of the nightmare the world had turned into; what the fuck made me so goddamned special? 

I knew I wasn’t going to find the answer to that question with no one else around to comment.  I leaned back against the cement wall and tucked my feet underneath me, while I considered my options.  Now that my stomach felt somewhat better, I found myself once again inspecting my little cell.  Still just four walls, but the lights had been turned off and the only thing new were the shadows cast along the walls from the dim light streaming through the tiny window in the door. In the dark, the cell looked colder, and I couldn’t stop the chills that were trailing down my spine.  I was tired and I was scared, but there wasn’t a thing I could do about it.

Giving a little sigh, I squinted harder and peered around the room.  After a few seconds I relaxed my face and just stared openly.  I could see!  I could see perfectly and clearly and still did not have my glasses. Given the almost complete blackout of the room, I could perfectly make out every notch in the bricks lining the walls. 
“What the hell…?”
  Well I’ll be damned; Ian had cured bad eyesight.  Too bad he would never know that for all his nefarious planning, his discovery could have changed modern optometry, but given the current state of world affairs, it was all for naught.

Normally, I would have been elated that I no longer needed glasses to see, but couldn’t muster any excitement about it.  I closed my eyes and lay back down.  My head was still pounding, and I had no idea how much longer I would have to rest before they came back.  Rolling onto my side, I put my back against the cold stone wall and replayed the events of the last few hours.