Learning to Trust: Paradigm Shift (3 page)

"Wow," he said, my confession finally
winding down and giving him a chance to think
.

"I'm sorry," I said. "It sounds crazy. I'm not trying to go behind his back and everything. Eve
rything just seems so weird
."

"Roland has his moments," Frederic said, his eyes like two bright orbs that I couldn't look away from. We had gotten unusually close during my monologue, so close that I didn't know where one body ended and the other began.
"It must have been so hard for you to keep a secret like that."

I liked how I felt when
I was
so close to him. I was venting something that I had bottled up inside for weeks now, wanting to tell
someone
but worried that no one was honest enough to receive the news.
Now it was over—
Frederic knew
.

Before I knew it, we were kissing, his tongue twining with mine, our saliva mixing without restraint. His hands were tracing along the curves of my body, touching me, embracing me. I really felt like my heart might burst out of my chest at any moment.

The lower that his hands got
, the more that I realized how wet I suddenly was. I felt somewhat ashamed at first, but realized I wasn't going to be able to stop unless he stopped first.
As much as I fought it, I
liked
his hands on me and I
liked
kissing him. My clit ached, begging to be touched, a request that he seemed to acknowledge. His smooth hands started sliding up my inner thighs, inching toward that moisture that I couldn't contain. He would be there at any moment, touching my—

His phone suddenly rang loudly. "Damnit!" he said, breaking the kiss at once. He caught the call as I caught my breath. I sat there in silence as he talked, his words rushed as he tried to get to the bottom of whatever had demanded his attention. I wasn't sure where things would go once he hung up.
The wait was a killer.

"Damnit!" he said again. "I've got to go. Are you coming to the company dinner tonight?"

"What dinner?" I asked,

"Roland gets all of his investors and partners together for a dinner at least once a year. That dinner is tonight."

"He didn't say anything to me," I said, suddenly feeling left out.

"I know he'll have a car for you. I've got to go. More preparations. Goodbye for now, Marisa." He kissed my cheek and then stood up and stepped out of the office at once.

Annual company dinner, huh?
Maybe that's why he was in such a panic. What if all of his erratic behavior was just due to a stressful dinner he had to organize? I realized that the only thing certain in my life anymore was uncertainty.

I arrived home shortly after, Roland's arranged car empty today. When I walked inside,
Roland was standing right there waiting for me.

"Marisa! We've got plans tonight." He was dressed in a pinstripe suit,
one that looked absolutely gorgeous on him.

"I heard," I groaned.

"Frederic?" he asked.

"Yeah." I blushed after I thought about what Frederic and I had
almost done
.

"I left a dress for you upstairs. You'll be attending as my date. This is a very important meeting."
His words came out in rapid bursts all at once.
He seemed to be proud about this whole thing—and ensuring that the pressure was really on for me.

"Uh, okay," I said.

"Do hurry and get ready." He kept looking at his wrist and tapping like there should be a watch there.

"Alright, Roland, hold your horses," I said.

"Shall we ride in on a horse?" he said with a wan smile. "It can be arranged."

"Very funny," I grumbled. Honestly, I hadn't been very excited around him in days, at the very least. We hadn't been down to the dungeon since our last encounter and dinner was the only time we spent together. I had to say, it was pretty frustrating. Having all of the money in the world certainly didn't cure my problems.

I dragged my feet up the stairs until I reached my room. On the bed lay a beautiful shiny black and silver silk dress, one that probably was purchased from a store that I wouldn't even be able to pronounce the name of. Even though the collar he had given me—he hadn't actually seemed that concerned about me wearing it lately—made my jaw drop, this dress made me quiver. I liked to look nice, but this was probably one hundred steps above
nice
.

The dress fit perfectly, hugging my curves in all the right places. Honestly, there was a bit more skin than I was used to revealing, but I didn't really know what the solution to that problem was. I kept mindlessly toying with the top of the dress, hiding my cleavage entirely and then pulling it down until my breasts nearly fell out. In a way, it was almost like wearing an entirely new skin, just playfully investigating its limitations.

I finally got situated, and after obsessing over the way my body looked in the mirror for about 20 minutes, I decided that I just needed to go for it. Roland wasn't the only person I'd met that insisted I was beautiful, even though I certainly didn't feel it most of the time. Being a woman could be so hard sometimes, even when Roland bough
t me a bunch of sexy stuff and showed me off
in it. Things just weren't that simple.

There were a pair of
super high
high heels and some gorgeous diamond earrings to complement the outfit on the floor and the nightstand respectively. I put on everything that he had given me and strutted around the room a few times, imagining that I was entering the dinner. I saw all of these
business men
and women, friends and colleagues
of Roland
. They all stared at me, the
ir eyes tiny orbs of attention.

"Marisa!" I heard from down the hall. Roland was fast approaching me.

"Let me do my make up first!" I cried.

His head popped into the doorway. "My dear god! What a stunner!" he said.

I immediately blushed. "Thanks," I said, my head pointing directly at the floor.
I didn't want this sort of attention from him—and I also needed it
worse than anything
. Oh, conundrums...

He planted his hand on my ass and pulled me against him. I felt the hardness against my thigh. "I wish
we
had more time," he remarked.

As usual, his voice
alone
was enough to make my body tingle. I relaxed against him and sighed.

"I'm sorry that I've been distant, pet," he said.

"Whatever," I said. "If you really need to get going, you need to let me do my make up."

"Yes, yes. I'm going to go on ahead of you. Call me as soon as you arrive and I'll escort you inside—in style. And put on your collar. Be proud of your place in my life."

I shrugged. "Al
l
right."
No, I still didn't know even know what that meant.

"The limo will be outside when you are. The trip is very short, I assure you."

"Okay, ok
ay."
Sometimes he could be so thorough that it drove me mad.

He planted a kiss on my cheek as he turned and proceeded out the door until he disappeared. I put on so much make up that I barely recognized myself when I was finished. Having access to an unlimited supply of the nicest stuff sometimes made you go overboard.
It was a
special occasion
, after all.

Eye-shadowed and with crimson red lipstick, I decided I was ready to head out. I looked like a high-class something or other, I reckoned. Maybe a
call girl
.
I giggled as I thought about it.

Oh yeah, the collar
.
Roland would be pissed if I forgot about it.

I
secured it around my neck and took a moment to just stare
at the
accessory
in the mirror
. Honestly, it was
nice as hell
, and every time I whined about wearing it, I inevitably felt bad after the fact.
There were
a lot
of karats of diamonds on that thing. I didn't even want to try to guess how much it cost. All complaints aside, it was an accessory that worked one-hundred percent of the time if your aim was
glamorous
.

I headed straight downstairs where I found the car
waiting for me, just as Roland promised.
I waved at the driver and hopped inside. Although I still didn't know his name, we had gotten quite familiar with each other despite our minimal communication.

Roland had left a dozen roses and champagne sitting there for me. I pulled the card off.

For my pet.

That's all it said. I took a quick whiff of the roses and then pushed them aside to get to the alcohol. I fought to get the bottle opened as we drove, the turns and bumpy roads making it nearly impossible for me to succeed. It finally popped open and champagne shot onto the floor. "Whoops!" I said out loud to myself. I took a big chug of the bottle, tired of trying to be classy. Alcohol was alcohol at this point.

The trip was short, just as Roland promised. We pulled up to the Starland Event Center, another
large structure
that Roland happened to
own
. Yes, there was a red carpet leading into the building. I was disappointed to learn that I wasn't about to be photographed by vicious paparazzi. I called Roland and sat there.

"One second," he said.

I took a couple more
small
swigs of the champagne—it was kicking in fast. My whole body was relaxing at once, the alcohol emboldening me, giving me courage that was normally entirely
out of my reach
. I laughed at the absurdity of th
e situation I was in until t
he door swung open.

"Pet! Do follow me! You can leave your things in the car." His arm found mine and helped me up. I left the champagne sitting on the seat, along with my purse. The door slammed shut behind me.

"Wow," I said. "Big event, huh?"

"One of the biggest in the city." He smiled proudly. "I can't wait for everyone to meet you."

"Please don't abandon me in front of these people," I begged.

"I promise not to," he said
, not sounding all that serious.

I had a sneaking suspicion that he might not be able to keep his word. I braced myself.

Our pace was brisk, my
shorter legs
struggling to keep up with his
longer strides
. We entered a ballroom, one filled with hundreds of impeccably dressed and presumably rich folks. Their eyes all locked on us at once, the scene not unlike the one that I had imagined earlier. My heart pounded, but the deep breaths I took—and the sedative
effect
of the alcohol—ensured that I didn't break into a million tiny pieces in front of this crowd.

"Everyone," Roland cried out boisterously, "this is my date for the evening, the lovely and beautiful Marisa
Taylor
!"

The room
—including a live jazz band—
fell
silent aside from Roland's echoing, booming voice.

"Uh, hi!" I said, making a single wave
with my hand
that reached a hundred hungry eyes at once. I bit my tongue nervously, feeling a little bit exploited, like every man was undressing me with his eyes. And then
,
Roland saved me from the silence.

"Let's continue the party then!
Cheers!
" He
hoisted his scotch into the air, a drink that I didn't even see him grab.
Magic scotch delivery
. The wealthy had things I still didn't understand at all.
My wonder
ment
continued when a glass of champagne suddenly made its way into my hand.

"Thanks," I called out aimlessly to a waiter that I hadn't even seen.

Roland introduced me to a number of people, people that had titles that were exactly what I was expecting. CEOs, investors, colleagues, former business partners. You name it. Everyone was here. I couldn't believe how many times my hand had been kissed by the time we made the first round. I was just shocked at how familiar Roland seemed to be with every single person here.

Being drunk certainly helped to alleviate so
me of the monotony of the event.
Stand up straight. Look pretty. Smile. Say a few words. Move on. Rinse and repeat.
Some of the sleazier fellows made me really uncomfortable, but Roland did a fairly good job at keeping them away from me.

And then, just as I would have predicted, one of Roland's
aides
came over and pulled him aside, clamoring quietly about something that demanded his immediate attention. "Can it wait?" I heard him say.