Learning to Spy (2 page)

The next day as I worked, I saw Cato watching me in the field. I tried to focus on pinching the ears with trembling fingers and not her gaze fixed on me as I progressed. I couldn’t help wondering if she’d seen me walking the perimeter, if she’d discovered the missing trowel. My confidence slipped, and I imagined frying on the spot and ending up in a pine box with some other rebel.

When I went into the barn to deposit my large basket of produce, I couldn’t stop shaking. She was still there watching. I tried to calm the anxiety twisting in my chest, but there was no way of knowing what she knew or what she wanted.

* * *

A
fter breakfast the following morning, as I walked to the yard for work assignments, Cato caught my arm and held me back. I couldn’t breathe, but I tried not to look afraid. Still, all I could think was she’d seen what I’d been doing every afternoon. She’d seen me casing the fence line, and she knew I’d been digging. My heart pounded, and fried brains and rebels kept running through my thoughts.

“Please stop, little one,” she said.

I stood still, trying to appear calm, but my legs were quivering inside my baggy coveralls. The rest of the group continued into the yard, but I was forced to stay behind, waiting for what would happen next like a scared little rabbit.

“I’ve been watching your progress.  You’re a diligent worker,” she said. “The day you were in the dairy, you seemed to know much about the animals.”

I kept my eyes on my shoes and barely nodded my head.

“You don’t have to be afraid.” She reached out to lift my chin. I didn’t meet her pale eyes. “I’m moving you to the dairy permanently. You should like it there. It’s cooler. Now come this way.”

She released me, and I followed her into the barn. The other three girls were already there—Yolanda waited at the churn, and Flora and Roxie collected stools and pails.

“You can help harvest the butter for now,” Cato said, leading me to another old-fashioned wooden churn. “It won’t be long before they’re ready.”

I sat on the wooden bench beside Yolanda to wait for the other girls to start emptying pails of milk into the wooden column. We didn’t acknowledge each other, and I watched as Cato went and spoke to her brother who was in a back stall wearing the same gray coveralls as us. I thought that was odd, since we were prisoners, and he was clearly someone very valuable.

She spoke too low for me to hear, but then she gestured in my direction. It was clear they were talking about me. A few more words and it seemed like they were arguing. I stood and quietly edged closer to hear what they were saying.

“I don’t need help,” Gallatin said. “I can figure it out.”

“But they’re giving less and less.” Cato watched as Roxie’s smooth black hands coaxed milk from one of the larger heifers. “It can’t be the way they’re being handled. I followed the guidelines exactly—”

“How would I know? I’m not accustomed to farming, and I have no instinct about these beasts.”

I stepped closer to the stall they were in and looked over the wall. It only took me a second to see what was happening—with the one he was standing by at least.

“Do you know what’s wrong?” Cato spoke directly to me, causing me to jump. I eased down quickly and tried to stay calm, but there was a slight tremor in my voice I couldn’t hide.

“She’s nearing the end of her cycle. She needs to be dried off and given a resting period.”

“Dried off?” Cato asked.

“Stop milking her,” I said. “And reduce her grain for about two weeks. Then she needs to be mated.”

Cato looked back at her brother, who simply shrugged and pushed his smooth, brownish-copper bangs to the side over his scar.

She turned back to me. “How do you know this? Did you live with cows?”

Her phrasing might have made me laugh. Instead I shook my head and shoved my hands into my pockets. I almost couldn’t breathe from the mixture of nerves and excitement. A bull could lead to where all the steak came from. The other camp.
Jackson
.

“Why should I trust you?” she asked.

“I worked about a year with our vet Doc Green.”

They exchanged a glance, and Cato’s eyebrows rose. But her brother looked away. She turned to the three cows as she seemed to consider what I’d said. I studied her appearance. She was tall and very thin, and even dressed in coveralls, I could tell she was somebody important. Her unlined face made her look in her mid-twenties, but she was trying to seem older by wearing her hair smoothed back in that tight twist.

“What do we do?” she asked me.

“Use the cows up front to stagger milk production,” I said. “These in the back can be dried off and bred. The others can be milked more often to cover for them, but that’s not really necessary. It’s more than we need here.”

“We don’t have the workers to milk more.” She pressed her lips together and looked off.

I felt a tingle of possibility. If I could be around her more, or better yet, one of the assistants, it was possible I could investigate Ovett’s tales—find out how much was true and how much was lies. And if there was some secret control panel that would set off the microchips in our bodies, maybe I could disable it.

“I can take another shift,” I said.

“You can’t work alone,” she quickly replied, then she looked at her brother. “Gallatin will help you.”

His eyes shot up to hers, and I could tell by his expression he wasn’t happy. I nodded and looked down again, trying not to frown as well. He’d only been here a few days and being her brother, the chances of him talking were slim.

“I’ll speak with Shubuta,” she said. “It’s possible we can give you more of a leadership role in the dairy.”

That made up for my former disappointment. A leadership role sounded like something that could put me in a position to do my own, independent investigation. Perhaps they’d give me a key, and I could sneak into an office after hours. Then it wouldn’t matter who I was working with. I wouldn’t need her brother to beat them.

“You there,” Cato walked over to Roxie. “Stop milking and empty your bucket. You’ll work the rows from now on.”

Roxie stood and went to the churn where Yolanda was pumping. I saw the two exchange a glance as she poured the warm, thick milk into it. Flora had just emptied her bucket into my churn, so I went back to my station and began pumping the wooden handle.

* * *

B
ack in the yard after lunch, Flora and I squatted near the fence. Her cheeks were definitely rosier, and I could tell she’d picked up a few pounds, but her eyes were still so glazed. It was frustrating to feel like I was spinning my wheels with her. I wasn’t having much luck keeping anyone motivated.

“I got assigned to the dairy,” I said.

She only nodded, expressionless. “So?”

“So I’m hoping I can find out what’s going on and why.” I smiled, doing my best to infuse my voice with optimism.

My friend only stared at me with her lips slightly parted. She took a breath through her nose and exhaled again through her mouth. I felt movement beside me and looked up at Yolanda who was joining us again.

“What was all that about in the barn earlier?” she asked.

I studied her. Yolanda was a big girl, but not fat. She was just stocky and thick. When we were cheerleaders, she was usually the bottom of the pyramid or toward the back, and as I looked at her now, I realized she could be a good help if it came to a fight. She was motivated, unlike anybody else it seemed. She couldn’t replace D’Lo exactly, but a determined partner was something I desperately needed now that Cleve was gone. If anything, she’d help keep my own spirits up.

“They put me on extra shifts in the dairy. I’ll be going over after lunch and in the evenings now.” I stood and looked up at the clouds, trying to make it look like we were discussing the weather and hoping we weren’t drawing attention. “With Gallatin.”

Yolanda looked away over her shoulder and muttered under her breath. “You gonna try and jump him? Knock him out?”

“No. As if.” I slid my hand over my nose to hide my mouth. “I’m gonna try and make friends. See if he’ll talk to me.”

Flora was sitting now, staring out at the yard. It was as if her mind had completely stopped. I hated when she did that.

“Besides, I’m starting to think their stories are all a bluff.” I looked down. “They keep saying they don’t want to hurt us, and they need a good workforce. What if this stuff is all mind games to keep us under control?”

I glanced up at my dark friend, and I could see she was considering my words. “Just don’t get careless. I’ve seen them act more than once.”

That got my attention. “What did you see?”

“My boyfriend Russell. He fought when they captured us. Two of them held him. One jammed a syringe...” Her voice broke off, and I saw the pain welling up in her eyes. It was the same thing that happened in the dining hall with Cleve.

She rubbed the side of her neck. “All I could do was watch and scream. They took him down right in front of me.”

My stomach was tight as she turned away, and I knew she didn’t want me to see her cry. Still, I couldn’t help watching her cross the yard, wiping her face with her hands. I bit my lip thinking about what she’d just said and imagining what it might mean. I thought of the long boxes and what was inside them.

I shook my head. That did
not
happen to Jackson. I would
not
believe it.

––––––––

G
allatin didn’t say a word when I arrived in the barn that evening after dinner. He was in the back stall across from the one he’d been in that morning. I didn’t say a word as I collected a pail and a stool from the closet and went to the front stall that contained a young heifer. I sat beside her and rubbed my hands before starting to work.

As I listened to the milk streaming into the pail, I rested my head against her side and inhaled her gamey scent. I used to think cows stunk, but tonight her warm animal smell combined with her big, calm body comforted me. It was something from the past that I wanted to hold, something from my future that I wasn’t letting go. Unintentionally, my eyes grew damp, and I coughed to cover my sniff. I wouldn’t let Gallatin see me crying.

I continued working until my pail was full and then went to the churn to dump it. Then I walked back to the next cow and took my place at her side. I kept my eyes on my hands the entire time, not speaking or approaching the strange guy in the back. I didn’t know what he was doing, but if he didn’t want to help, that was okay with me. Today wasn’t the day to get information, it was the day for laying groundwork. I had to bide my time and appear harmless before I could expect him to open up or let anything slip—if he even would.

Closing my eyes as I worked, I summoned a happy memory, a memory that would keep me focused on my goal, on what I was working to get back.

––––––––

I
t was last fall, and Jackson was picking me up for school.

“Hurry up or we’re gonna be late,” he called from the kitchen.

I could hear him making racket while I struggled in my room with the zipper on my cheerleading uniform. Homecoming was the only day we had to wear uniforms to school, otherwise I only wore the silly outfit that barely covered my butt to games. And then I had my sweatpants nearby to pull back on as soon as we were done.

“This was your stupid idea,” I hollered back at him, turning my back to the mirror and tugging on my skirt again. It didn’t make any difference. My shorts still peeked out from under it. I grabbed a brush and quickly smoothed the rat’s nest that was my hair.

“I’m supposed to be full of school spirit, and I don’t wake up that way.”

“Well, dammit, Pip. Why didn’t you get up earlier?” I heard Jackson pick up his keys and walk to the door.

“I didn’t know it would take this long.”

I tied a ribbon emblazoned with our school’s mascot into the small band I’d used to pull my hair to the side. I didn’t usually wear my stringy hair down, but Star’d wanted all the cheerleaders to look the same today, and she was captain.

I dusted some powder that smelled like straw over my nose and slicked red gloss on my lips. It was sticky, but it tasted like cherries. At least my lashes were dark enough that I didn’t need mascara.

“Okay, let’s go,” I said, rushing into the kitchen where my books were waiting on the table.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Jackson’s hand drop, and I glanced up just in time to catch the stunned look on his face.

“What?” I frowned, looking down and then around my shoulder at my backside. “Is something wrong?”

Jackson cleared his throat. “No.” He turned away, but I noticed his hand slide across his mouth.

“What’s the matter with you?” I went over to him and grabbed his arm, turning him back to face me.

He looked at me with an expression I’d seen before. Like he’d skipped breakfast, and I was a big plate of biscuits.

“You look. Good.” His voice went lower, and my cheeks got hot.

“I’m going to change.”

“Not likely.” Jackson caught my wrist and pulled me back to him. I turned around and his lips found mine. Oh, sure, Jackson had kissed me before, lots of times, but this was one of those different kisses we’d been having lately. Lately since the beginning of summer.

His fingers slid through my hair, cradling my head as he pushed my lips apart. My mouth filled with the taste of mint, and I could smell the soap he used to shave. I reached to hold him but my fingers slipped across the soft nylon of his football jersey.

“Jackson. Stop,” I whispered, turning my face away. “We gotta get to school.”

My whole body was hot, and my heart beat wildly. I stepped back, and the way he looked at me wasn’t helping one bit. I turned away and reached up to wipe the gloss off my chin.

“Why’d you kiss me like that?” I said.

Jackson’s hand slid across my back then up and under my hair. As his fingers lightly touched my neck, I shivered.

“Hey, Pip,” he murmured, moving closer behind me. I heard the smile in his voice. “Nobody’s home but us.”

“I thought you were mad because I was making us late.”