Learning to Forgive (13 page)

“When you went to Vegas.
Even over the phone I thought we were connecting. Were we connecting, or was
that just me?” she asked.

He
sighed. Vegas had been a complete bust. “We were connecting. Do you think
you’re ready to let me explain that incident?”

“Yes,
I am.”

“Good.”

David
explained everything. He told her about going to the elevator and his friends
stopping him from going to their floor. The stripper was mentioned briefly.
“Malcolm helped me out, and I told my friends that you’re my wife. If they
didn’t like it, they could go to hell.”

“You
said that for me?” she asked.

“Yes.
I loved you, Molly. I’m fucking stupid at times and didn’t see it.”

“We’ve
lost so much time together,” she said.

He
turned to see tears spilling down her cheeks. Without waiting, he wrapped his
arms around her waist. “Please, don’t cry. I can’t bear it when you cry.”

“I
can’t help it. We’ve wasted so much time, David.”

“I
know, and it’s my fault. I’m not letting you go again.” He closed his eyes
taking deep breaths. “I’ve got another revelation to add to my shame.”

She
pulled away, looking at him.

“I
told Malcolm to tell you that my angina was worse than it actually was. I
didn’t want you to try to leave me.”

“It
doesn’t matter. None of it matters. I love you, David.” Her arms wrapped around
him, and she kissed his lips.

Closing
his eyes, David felt his own tears begin to fall. Life had been cruel to them.
At least he had time to make it up to her.

“I
love you, too, Molly. I told you every night when you were sleeping.”

“What?”
she asked, pulling at him as if to move
away.
He
couldn’t let her leave. Her softness meant a great deal to him.

“When
you were asleep in my arms, I’d tell you how much I loved you. I never wanted
to hurt you. I can’t believe I spent all this time living a lie.”

“Don’t
think about it. We’ve still got each other.”

“We
lost years, Molly.”

“But
we were still together, even if we were miserable at times.” She chuckled.
“Most married people have a hard time.”

He
stroked her cheek, pushing the hair off her face. “No more, I don’t want to
lose you again.”

“You’re
not going to lose me. I was never gone.”

They
stayed together on the small hill watching over the fields. “We’ve got to go
now, haven’t we?” she asked.

“Yes.
I’m not going anywhere. We’re in this together.”

David
helped her down the hill to their house. When they were inside, he called the
local doctor to make a home visit. While they were waiting, he ordered some
take-out and made her a cup of tea.

“I
never knew you could be so domestic,” she said, when he handed her a cup.

“Neither
did
I
.”

They
laughed. The doctor assessed her ankle and diagnosed a sprain. He recommended
plenty of rest and handed some pain-killers to numb the pain. “Thank you,
doctor,” David said as he saw the doctor out.

“If
you don’t mind me asking, are you newlyweds?”

David
laughed. “No, we’ve been together twenty-five years, son.”

“Then
I hope my marriage is as happy as yours.”

He
watched the younger man disappear then went back inside to see his wife. “So,
what do you think we should do for Christmas this year?” he asked.

“Christmas?
That’s a
bit early, isn’t it?”

“Not
to me. I don’t want us to have it at any of the houses. I think we should find
a new place,” he said.

“David,
not all the kids are going to fit here. I don’t want a new place.” Molly
snuggled up against him. He stroked her hair enjoying the feel of her against
him.

“Both
of our homes are tainted with her memory and our bad ones.”

“They
are our homes, David. I wouldn’t want to start making new memories. We can make
our own memories to replace the ones she created.”

“I
love you.”

“Are
you going to keep saying that to make it up to me?”

“Yes.
Do you have a problem?” he asked, smiling down at her.

“Nope.
I like it.”

He
chuckled. Life was indeed going to be brilliant.

Chapter Thirteen

Life
got back to normal, or at least it got better than normal. Once her ankle
repaired itself from the damage she’d caused it, they began exploring the town
around their new cottage. Molly fell in love with everything. David was by her
side. In all of their years she’d felt alone. Talking had helped to mend the
walls that had built up between them. She couldn’t imagine life without him.

John
and Luke didn’t approve. They thought he would revert back to his old ways. She
shushed them up whenever they started saying bad things about their dad.
Children never really understood what was happening in life. She accepted that
and was able to move on. Blaze and Cassie came around to see them. Molly loved
spending time with her grandchild and hoped to have more running around. It
would be a special occasion for her.

As
the weeks passed, they moved back into their old home. Together they removed
the pictures of Isabella and placed their own memories on the walls. There was
one picture that Molly had kept from being destroyed. It was the picture of
Blaze, Isabella, and Chris.

“Why
do you have that?” David asked when she presented him with the newly-framed
photo.

“Because it is a good memory.”

“It
was a false memory.”

“I’ve
talked to Blaze and to Chris. This picture is a good memory for them. You can’t
wipe them all out.”

She
danced the photo in front of his face knowing he’d give in. “Fine, put it up.”

Molly
moved over to the mantle and placed the framed photo on top in the centre next
to their wedding photo. “Why have you put it there?” he asked, coming up behind
her.

“Because it is a memory worth having.
I love seeing the happiness on their faces. She may have been faking it, but
they deserve to know she cared at some point.” She leaned against him with a
moan. “Have you talked to Chris and Blaze?”

“No,
they’ve been really busy.”

“I know, Trent is helping Elizabeth.
Did you know that girl doesn’t know how to read or write?” Molly asked, staring
at the family photos.

“Trent
has told me a little. Her family is nothing like ours.”

“She
deserves some loving. I can’t believe she made her sister leave and stayed
behind. She’s such a brave woman.”

“Trent
will take care of her. He’s always had a soft spot for damsels in distress.”

Molly
also knew what else Trent had a soft spot for, but she wouldn’t be telling his
father about his secret. His sexuality was his own business. She just hoped he
was happy with whatever he was doing.

“Chris
and Erica want to have Christmas at their house this year,” David said, against
her neck.

“What
do you want to do?” Molly knew he hated going away for Christmas.

“I
think we should do it. A new Christmas tradition would be wonderful. All the
family together but in Chris’s house.”

She
laughed. “He’d have to clean up the mess?”

“Exactly.
We can
leave whenever we want to.”

“You’re
a bad man,” she said.

“The best.”

He
leaned down kissing her lips.

“We’d
better get ready to go out.” She kissed him one final time then pulled out of
his arms.

“Where
are we going?” he asked.

“It
is a surprise.”

Molly
helped him into his jacket, then his gloves and scarf while she did the same.
It was getting colder every day. She took his hand, and they left the house
hand in hand. Her nerves were getting the better of her, making the cold seem
unbearably chilly.

“I
don’t know what you’ve got planned, Mrs. Sinclair, but I’m intrigued.”

She
laughed.

“So,
what do you think we should buy them this year?” she asked.

“I
have no idea. Chris and Erica are happy. Blaze and Cassie are happy. John and
Luke are happy that you’re finally happy. Trent is doing what he does best.
Maybe this will be a cheap Christmas,” he said.

She
tapped him on the arm. “Maybe you don’t need to tell Blaze and Chris about
their mother,” she said.

“Why?
Trent knows about her.”

“But
Trent never had a happy memory with her. I think you should leave that memory
in the past.”

David
stopped as she approached the graveyard. She stared up at him. “I don’t need to
be here, Molly.”

“Yes,
you do. I know you haven’t come since that day all those years ago.”

“I
have nothing to say to her.”

He
made to pull out of her arms. Molly stopped him. “No, you need to forgive her,
David.”

“How?
She ruined everything.”

“No,
she didn’t. She did the best with what she knew. She’s not perfect, and neither
are we. Forgive her, and let it all go.”

He
cupped her cheek. Through the gloves she felt his warmth seeping into her skin.

“After
all this time you’d be willing to let me forgive her?”

“I
love you, David. What she did back then is not going to change the life we
lead. We’ve come a long way. Let her go and be happy without any of this anger
inside you.”

He
was silent for several moments looking from the gate to her. “Are you sure
about this?”

“Yes.”

She
leaned up and kissed his lips.

“Will
you wait for me?”

“I’ll
be sat on the bench over there.” She pointed in the direction of the gate.

“Okay.”
Together they walked inside the grounds. She gave his hand a squeeze then sat
down on the bench waiting for him. He didn’t move for several moments. She saw
the fight inside him and hoped he could finally let his anger go.
 
No one deserved to be in that much pain. Rubbing
her hands together, Molly watched as he took the first step, then the next
until he was stood in front of Isabella’s grave stone.

Tears
filled her eyes at the pain in his face. She knew without a doubt that he loved
her
,.
He’d spent the last few months proving to her
how much he loved her. Isabella was still a part of his life even if he’d never
loved his first wife. He deserved this happiness that forgiveness would give
him. So did Isabella as well.

****

David
wanted to run for it. He’d never been so scared before in his life. Since the
day he had seen Trent and Molly visit Isabella, he hadn’t set foot inside the
cemetery. He glanced over toward Molly then took a step and another. When he
was stood staring at her name, he froze. What could he say to her?

There
was nothing inside him. No pain, no anger, nothing. Weeds had gathered around
the stone. He bent down moving them out of the way. “Molly wanted me to come
here and forgive you. I don’t know if I have that in me to do. I think about
all of our fighting and wonder if it was worth it. Did you get what you wanted
out of the fighting and the pain?”

He
stopped, standing up to look over to where Molly sat. “I made her life hell. I
never should have. She didn’t deserve everything I said to her and did.” With
each word he spoke, David began to feel lighter. There was no bitterness or
anger. Usually when he thought about Isabella, he felt so much emotion that it
threatened to destroy him. Yet now he stood in front of her and felt nothing.

“I
know you didn’t want my children, but you’d have been proud of them. All three
of them are good boys. Molly did a wonderful job of raising them, and I’m going
to think you’d want them to have a good life. There were times we were together
where you were not cold and heartless.” He touched the stone, closed his eyes,
and suddenly felt free.

“I
never thought I’d say this. I forgive you, Isabella. I hope you can rest in
peace knowing your sons were taken care of. I’m sorry I could never give you
what you wanted. I hope you’ve found peace wherever you are now.”

David
walked away toward Molly.

“How
do you feel?” she asked.

“I
feel good. Happy.”

“You
seem surprised.”

“I
am. I never thought I’d be this happy again.”

“Forgiveness
can be a powerful tool, David. You should consider it every once in a while.” She
stood up taking his hand.