Learning to Drown (15 page)

"It says that I'm also
weak," Lucas sighed and slid into me. The trust was fluid and perfect and
my pussy fluttered. I shut my eyes, trying so hard not to come. I didn't want
to come. He thrust again and I did—just like that. Like a blink, like a breath,
like a heartbeat.

"Oh, Ember," Lucas said and
I let the tears come. "Why did you go and do that? Now I have to punish
you."

I sobbed around Matthew who was wisely
staying still. He didn't want to break the rules either. Lucky him, I was
helping out. But Lucas had me on edge. The whole scenario and then the perfect
tight slide of him inside of me. I had no control, I was powerless and that
right there had me on the urge of coming all over again.

"Come here, Matthew."

My heart stopped beating. Maybe not
for real, but it sure as hell felt that way. Matthew frowned.

"Don't worry. I'll let you go
back to that. And I will let you come. But come here for now."

Matthew pulled free of my lips and my
mouth closed on its own. My jaw ached from sucking him and yet, most of me
wanted him to come back. What would they do? I slid my arms out, trying to
relieve the screaming muscles in my shoulders. I heard a drawer and then
another and then Lucas, his voice calm and dark saying, "I think ten will
do and watch it, brother. You're really pissed at me. Don't get carried away on
her. She's already marked up a bit."

"A bit," Matthew said and
then something that was not a hand bit into the back of my thigh. Lower than
the marks left by my spanking. Fresh skin shrieked with the smooth fire
delivered by what felt like wood.

Lucas came to the front of the bed,
knelt down, face to face with me. He shocked me by kissing my lips, his tongue
delving into my mouth. The same place his brother's cock has been moments
before. "A hairbrush, doll baby," he said to me and I hitched in a
sigh when the smooth wood struck a bit lower. Halfway down the back of my
thigh. Midpoint between ass cheek and the back of my knee.

"That's four," he said,
biting my bottom lips so that the red spark of pain clouded my vision but then
filled my pelvis. "And when I go back to fucking you, don't you dare come
until I say, you hear me?"

I nodded and then sobbed on blow six.
My skin blazed with heat and pain, my cunt tight and ready. My ears rang and I
swallowed, swallowed, swallowed from the force of my tears. "Yes,
Lucas," I managed and on blow eight he kissed my forehead almost tenderly.

"You're so pretty, baby. You take
your punishment well." The he stood, tracing my lips with the head of his
cock. the bright shiny gem of pre-come smearing my lips like lip balm. I opened
my mouth for him but he only sank into me once. Balls deep he went, filling my
throat until my stomach nearly turned. Then he was gone and I was once again
left with an empty mouth.

Nine and ten took an eternity as Lucas
cooed in my ear, words I couldn't quite  make out at that point in my pain. It
was hot and red and held me tight until it stopped. A vacuum of relief and then
the substantial agony of the force of my pulse under my skin. I hung my head,
rested my forehead against the bonds on my wrist.

"I think she's learned her
lesson. Come on back, Matthew."

He had given Matthew reprieve--a
break--I realized. Now he would have more stamina. There was less chance he
would come without permission. Even in my pain I could see the protective
nature of Lucas when it came to his brother. But then I could see it in
relation to me, as well. In an odd way, granted. But it was there.

Matthew shoved his hands in my hair
and raised my head. He pushed his still-hard dick to my lips, tracing the split
of my mouth before inching into me. His dark eyes were drunken and intense. His
hip muscles flexed and I watched the play of light on them as I felt Lucas
thrust into me again. His fingers slid over the tender welts and I moaned. My
eyes rolled back and my body tightened around him. I wanted to come but I would
wait.

Lucas pushed his finger into my
wetness. I could feel him swirling the tip around and around on the slippery
sex painted skin. Whorls and lines and symbols. He painted me and it was magic.
Then his finger, pushed, pinched, inched into my back door. My body protested
with a bite of pain but I arched my back, pushing against him. Cock and finger.
The pain made the goodness that much better. And after a moment the pain
evaporated, leaving him stroking into my cunt with his cock and my ass with his
finger. The friction of finger against dick through that very thin membrane was
crazy. I wept more.

"Luke?" Matthew didn't say
anything else. That was it. But I could tell by the way he held my face, his
thumbs sweeping arcs along my jaw, and the way his eyes were squinched tight
that he was there again. That line in the sand, that precipice, that point of
being almost done.

Lucas stopped inside of me, rolling
his hips so that his cock pushed all the perfect pleasure points in my cunt. I
sobbed again, licking frantically at Matthew in hopes it would distract me.
Lucas was cruel, he fucked in and out and in and out with is finger so that my
G-spot was nudged and battered from both sides.

I sucked harder and Matthew groaned.

"Okay, everyone. You may
come," Lucas said softly and pounded into me, hard and frantic. No more
control, he surrendered to his orgasm.

Matthew came in a slick rush of salty
come and I swallowed eagerly, wanting him to feel good. Wanting him to feel
pleasure, though a large part of me did not like him. I did want him, and there
was a difference.

Lucas's fingers brushed the bruised
and in some places broken skin of my bottom and I was done. My orgasm swelled
to fill my pussy, my womb, my whole pelvis. One excruciating and wonderful
spasm after another.

And then all I could hear was us
breathing.

Chapter 17

They left me that way. I heard them
talking even as my body cooled and my heart beats became slower, more serene. I
was exhausted
¾
emotionally, physically and mentally.
I realized I didn't much like Matthew but wanted him, really liked and trusted
Lucas way too much and was willing to listen to them both. I had helped repo a
car which to me felt like stealing and had gotten off with a vibrator that
sounded like a small engine. And just now, for the first time in my life, I'd
been fucked simultaneously by two men who, to make matters even more twisted,
were brothers. Paging Jerry Springer.

I giggled. Which was a bad sign. It
meant I was so tired I was getting punchy. I strained to hear the men who
seemed to be arguing.

"...her here!" that was
Matthew. His voice high and angry. Matthew showed his emotions too much. He was
easy to read because if he was livid, he looked livid. If he was horny, he
looked horny. And so on.

"No way. That was that. I have to
think." The lower, even keeled tone of one Lucas Crow. His voice inflection
stayed fairly regular even when he was upset. A man who did not like to let
people see when he's flustered or pissed or worried. I envied him his control
and yet, I could never be that person. I could never mask over all that I had
going on on the inside. So maybe that was what made me feel like a moth to
Lucas's flame.

His control.

"...her...she can...here!"

I shook my head. If they were arguing
about me, then I supposed I should have a say. But I knew deep down in the
parts of me that just seemed to be waking up, that despite my true wants, I'd
defer to Lucas's request of me. That scared me and thrilled me all in the same
breath.

"...final." Lucas.

The door sprang open and even though I
was literally stuck there by them, I felt guilty for overhearing.
"I..."

Lucas shook his head, face pinched,
jaw set. He went to the foot of the bed, untying me. "I want you to get
up, freshen up and get dressed. Meet me downstairs in a five minutes.
Understand?"

He was angry. Truly angry. I nodded my
head and he helped me sit up. He knelt and startled me by kissing my the
knuckles of my bound hands as he set me free. "How do you feel?"

His dark eyes found mine and I dropped
my gaze, shifted on the bed, leaving more of myself on the sheets I was sure.

Lucas grabbed my chin, forced me to
look at him. "I asked you a question. Answer me, Ember."

How did I feel? Used, abused, loved,
cherished, tainted. All of the above. "Fine. I feel fine. I feel..."

"Yes?"

I told him the truth. "I feel
good. Boneless and tired and sore but good. Very good."

He kissed me on the lips. Gentle. Like
a knight in shining armor. "Good girl. Go on then." He set me on my
feet and pointed. "Straight down the hall. You have five minutes."

I grabbed my clothes and hurried down
the long dark hallway. I passed  another doorway and just inside stood Matthew,
arms crossed, glowering in the darkening room like an angry specter. I jumped,
clutching at my heart.

He didn't say a word. So I hurried
past and shut the bathroom door behind me. I felt like something. Some
invisible time monster was chomping at my heels. Panic knotted my stomach and I
shoved my legs into my jeans, zipped my boots. I washed my hands, twisted my
hair up into a knot and stared at my face in the mirror. Same face as always
and yet, not. "What are you doing?" I asked the girl. She didn't
answer. But her cheeks had color and her eyes had spark and she didn't look as
limp and tired as the girl who normally stared back at me.

I heard my cell phone chirp and then
Lucas's voice. I opened the door to see him shutting my phone and both men
staring at me. I waited.
"Go on down, Ember. I'll be right there."

I wanted to ask who was on the phone,
I wanted to ask why they were fighting. Was it me? Had I done something wrong?
Instead, I went past them, the sore places on my buttocks singing with the pain
of the denim brushing the skin. At the foot of the steps, I heard muttering and
arguing but in more muted tones.

Lucas came down, his boots smacking
the hardwood steps. His jeans came into view first and my body responded
automatically to the sight of his hips and pelvis. Then his beautiful but
imposing face. He smiled briefly like he had a secret. Matthew was right on his
heels.

"You are being a dick!"
Matthew said, his voice rising. Right on Lucas's heels, his face was flushed
with anger.

"Matthew, settle down."

"Don't you tell me to settle
down. Fuck you! You always let me have them! It's my  turn."

I blinked. He was talking about me.

"Not this time." Lucas's
voice was soft. Almost a whisper. He nodded at the door. I opened it. Cool air
rushed in, the temperature was dropping.

"Lucas!" Matthew's voice was
one of a man who had just figured out he would not get his way.
"I said no," Lucas said. He took my arm, piloting me out the door.

It was then that Matthew threw the
punch and it was then that Lucas moved just fast enough to avoid the blow.
Grabbing Matthew's arm, he pivoted, getting his brother in a hold. "You
need to knock it off little brother or else."
"Or else what?" Matthew hissed.

Lucas let him go, stepped back. His
demeanor cool and calm, while my heartbeat pounded like a drum and my head
swirled with fear induced vertigo.

"You know."

Matthew, Matthew, what was he
thinking? Matthew swung again and Lucas stopped it right there. One good punch
and his brother sagged a bit, stunned. Lucas caught him. "Come on then.
You're coming home with us. You have a lesson to learn." Lucas nodded to
the door again and I pulled it wide for him. He helped his stunned brother out
and I said, "Lucas?"

"Lock the door behind you. Come
on. Let's get him home. He has to learn some manner and you're going to help
teach him."

I didn't know what that meant but part
of me was thrilled and part of me wanted to run.

* * * *

At the house I took a shower to let
the boys talk. I lingered in the hot Bergamot scented suds. My head was also
full of the sights and smells and memories of being caught between the
brothers. Pushed and pulled and used and yes, even adored. I had felt that. A
surreal feeling almost like worship.

"September?"

Lucas. I stuck my head out, wiping my
eyes. "Yes?" Just seeing him made me want to fling the curtain wide.
Ask him to come in and take me. Right up against the wet white tile the way I
had imagined the night before. It felt like so long ago and it was only a day.
"Yes?"

"When you're done, come down.
I've made food. Then we'll talk. Some woman named Dawn Dunloe called about a
wedding. I told her you were on vacation this week."

I nodded, a little shocked. Would I
lose the job? I worked freelance as an event planner. A wedding was a big deal,
and yet, with all that was going on right now...I needed time. I needed to
process and regroup. I would be a failure at a wedding. Too muzzy headed and
loopy.

"I talked it over with her. Told
her it was an impromptu much deserved thing and that she was the top of your
list when you returned. She's good. It's fine."