Learning to Breathe (10 page)

I smiled half-heartedly at Valerie as I entered the room; she nodded in return and motioned for me to sit on the chair by Ms Greenly’s office
door. I heard her buzz the principal and two seconds later, the door opened and Ms Greenly ushered me inside.

“Ms Gilmore, take a seat.”

I sat in the chair opposite Ms Greenly’s desk and waited for her to speak again. She sat down and surveyed me intently over her glasses.

“Now, I understand from Valerie that you wanted to discuss your P.E. class – is that correct?”

I nodded. “The only one left is swimming and I – well um … I can’t swim.” I avoided her gaze and prayed that she would take pity on me.

She sighed heavily.
“Darcie, I read your file and I understand your reluctance to take part in the class but … I’m afraid that no other sport is available to fit in with your timetable.”

“But that’s not fair!” I protested loudly.

Ms Greenly rubbed her temples wearily before addressing me again. “I know but Ms Mahon is fully prepared to take you on even though you can’t swim. She has no problem letting you learn the basics.”

“But I don’t want to learn! You can’t force me to!” I yelled, completely furious at
her for suggesting such a thing.

I also knew that it was wrong to be shouting at someone of such importance but I couldn’t help it – I was positively seething.

“Ah well, there’s something that you should know …” She trailed off and buzzed Valerie. “You can send her in now.”

Two seconds later and my mother appeared.

This cannot be happening!

I couldn’t believe what I
was witnessing – my own mother stabbing me in the back!

“Would you care to explain
to me what the hell is going on?” I demanded, throwing my mother a withering look.

“Darcie honey, calm down.” s
he urged in a soothing tone.

“No I won’t! Tell me everything right now!” I bellowed back at her.

She threw me a scornful look but kept her voice calm. “Darcie, please sit down – now.” I knew by the tone of her voice that I was going to be in big trouble if I didn’t obey.

I took a few deep breaths and settled down in the chair again as both my mother and Ms Greenly rounded on me.

“Darcie,” my mother began, “before I tell you anything, I want you to apologise to Ms Greenly for your behaviour.”

I nod
ded and looked up at Ms Greenly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have acted like that. Please accept my apology.”

She shook her head.
“It’s okay Darcie … I understand that this is a sensitive matter to you. Nevertheless, I think you should hear your mother out.”

I glanced at my mother and waited for her to speak. She sighed heavily and paced the floor as she talked.

“Darcie, the first thing you should know is that it wasn’t just my job that brought us here. I moved us here because of what Dover High had to offer. I read all about the mandatory P.E. aspect and it all clicked into place. I’d been searching for ways to help you for months and when I found out about the syllabus here, I couldn’t resist. I met with Ms Greenly on Saturday past there and formulated my plan. I know it’s cruel of me to do it this way but I feel like I have no other choice.” She paused, as if waiting for me to interrupt but when I didn’t, she continued on.

“Honey, this is
the last thing I want but I exhausted all other approaches back in Langley Falls … it’s time for some tough love.”

I glared at her but remained silent – I was too mad to say anything at this point.

Ms Greenly then decided to get in on the action. “Darcie, your timetable was delayed on Friday because I knew I was meeting your mother the day after to discuss your P.E. options. Considering your past, I know this will be difficult for you but we are just trying to help you.”

“Yeah, sure.” I sneered.
“Have either of you considered my opinion at all?”

My mother reached out to touch my arm but I flinched away. I could see the hurt in her eyes but I was too irate to care.

“Darcie,” she began soothingly, “you’re gonna have to face your fear sometime. I know it won’t be easy but I know you can do it … it’s for the best.”

“Do I
even get a choice in this?” I asked angrily.

Ms Greenly shook her head.
“You know my policy and the only way to be excused from it is with a doctor’s note.”

My mother jumped in then.
“And don’t even think you’re getting out of it that way – it’s not a medical condition.”

I decided to switch my tactic to the only one left – desperation. “Please Mum, don’t make me do this. You know I can’t.”

She shook her head sadly. “No Darcie, it’s time. If this is the only way that I’m gonna get through to you then so be it. You refuse to get help so this is my last option. Please try for me – and if not for me then for him. You know he wouldn’t want you to -”

“No!” I interrupted and
threw her a death glare. “You’ve no right to say that! You know what I went through and I’m not doing it!” And with that I stormed out of the office and ran the whole way to the leisure centre.

I arrived at the leisure centre sweaty and exhausted. As soon as I was inside, I decided to make my way to the toilets as I figured I needed to clean myself up before I went anywhere near the Youth Club.

However, on my way to the Ladies’, I had the great misfortune of walking straight into Danny.

“Darcie!” he exclaimed in surprise, looking rather pleased to see me. However, the longer he took in my appearance, the more his expression changed to one of concern. “Wow, are you okay?”

I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak – the last thing I wanted was to have an emotional breakdown in front of him.
He seemed to understand my reluctance to talk since he merely nodded, took my hand and led me through to the employee locker room.

“Here, sit down – I’ll
get you something to drink.”

I took a seat on the wooden bench and tried to compose myself before Danny came back.

Two minutes later and Danny returned with a bottle of water and a chocolate bar. He handed me both and ordered me to eat the chocolate bar first. I did as he instructed and then took a sip of water while Danny watched me closely. Within a few minutes I was starting to feel a lot calmer but also embarrassed.

I took a deep brea
th before I even dared to speak. “Thanks.” I eventually managed to mumble to Danny.

H
e shrugged. “No problem – what’re friends for? Are you okay now?”

I nodded.
“I think so but I’d feel even better if I could clean myself up.”

Da
nny nodded. “Go ahead, I’ll wait here.”

I gave him a weak smile and made my way through to the toilets that were connected to the locker room.

I glanced in the mirror above the sinks and found that my hair was all over the place, my face was beetroot red and my cheeks were sticky from sweat and tears. It was now that I was able to think clearly about what had happened. Even in my present state of clarity, I
still
couldn’t believe the plan my mother had concocted.

What she was asking of me was too much – s
he didn’t understand how hard it was for me to get through a normal day never mind trying to overcome my fear of water. It was also a low blow when she had mentioned –
no, now is not the time to think about that!

That said, s
he knew that I was still struggling with what had happened. I felt sick when I thought of how much I had enjoyed our day together yesterday.

She must have done it to butter me up before she dropped the bombshell!

I shook away these thoughts as I splashed some water on my face and fixed my hair. At least now I looked presentable – well as much as one can after what I had endured – and considering how rough I had looked five minutes ago, it was a vast improvement.

I then made my way back out to the locker roo
m where Danny was still waiting for me.

He glanced up when he heard my footsteps and
then threw me a genuine smile. “Better?”

I nodde
d and sat down beside him again. “I’m really sorry about all that …” I trailed off, not knowing what else to say.

Danny
nodded his head understandingly. “Don’t worry, I was just skiving anyway cause my last lesson was cancelled.”

I nodded my head an
d then it suddenly dawned on me. “Oh my God – the Youth Club! I phoned this morning to say that I was gonna be late because I had a meeting with Ms Greenly after school. What time is it?”

“Almost four-thirty
but don’t worry there’s only like four kids in today – I’m sure that Grace can handle it if you wanna go home.”

I shook my head.
“No! I – I don’t want to go home – not just yet anyway.”

Danny threw me a curious look.
“Is everything okay?”

“Yes!” I told him rather quickly –
too
quickly.

“Are you sure?” he asked, concern in his voice.

“Yes,” I insisted even though I knew that he wouldn’t believe me.

He threw me a dubious look.
“Right, so there’s nothing you wanna talk about?”

I shook my head.
“I just – my mother and I had a fight and I don’t want to go home right now.”

Danny nodded.
“Okay, well how about we get out of here and get some dinner?”

I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea or not but I figured that it was better than going home to face the
music.

I n
odded my head. “Yeah, that’d be great.”

After Danny had informed Mr Deacon that he was leaving me home since I wasn’t feeling well, we made our way into town and scoped out the quietest café. Danny parked the car and jumped out of the driver’s side so quickly I wondered what he was doing until he opened my door for me.

He smiled at the look of surprise of my face, “What?”

I shook my head and said nothing – it was a miracle that he was still talking to me after my mini meltdown earlier when he really should’ve been running in the opposite direction.

“So,” Danny began
as we were seated to a table, “am I allowed to ask about what happened earlier?”

I shook my head.
“Next question please.”

He looked a little disappointed but
still ploughed on nevertheless.

“Okay – fair enough. Um,
well what about your meeting with Ms Greenly? Is everything okay?”

I wasn’t sure whether I should answer him or not; part of me wanted to tell him about what I was being forced to do but the other part wanted to remain silent. I debated for a minute and then decided to choose a bit of both.

“It’s just about my P.E. class – the only one available is swimming.” I threw him a pointed look and he nodded understandingly.

“Yeah, I can see how that’
d be a problem. What happened – did you get it changed?”

I sighed heavily.
“No – I tried but then my mother got involved and – well I don’t want to talk about the rest, okay?”

Danny shrugged nonchalantly.
“Sure but doesn’t that mean you’re stuck with swimming?”

“Yeah – but I’m not gonna
do it. They can’t make me!” I told him determinedly.

“Wow,
calm down! Nobody’s gonna force you to do it.” Danny told me reassuringly.

I shook my head in protest.
“It’s not that easy – things are a little … complicated.”

Danny frowned at me in puzzlement but I didn’t elaborate. Instead, I focused on the menu in front of me and pretended to be deciding what to order. Danny took the less-than-subtle hint and didn’t mention it again.

The waitress then arrived to take our orders for which I was grateful; it gave me time to come up with something else to talk about. I ordered my burger and chips and waited until we were alone again before speaking.

“So,” I began. “W
hat subjects are you taking this year?”

Danny raised his eyebrows at my change of
topic but answered nevertheless.

“
Biology, Maths, P.E. and ICT – why?”

I shrugged.
“Just curious.”

He threw me a questioning look but conti
nued on. “Uh huh. Well I wanna be a paramedic or something where I can help people.”

I nodded my head.
“I guess that’s why you’re the pool lifeguard and swim team captain then?”

“Yeah, that’s one of the reasons why I do it …” he then trailed off, looking quite thoughtful but didn’t elaborate further.

I wasn’t sure what to say next but I didn’t have to worry since Danny beat me to it.

“So, anyway … what subjects are you studying?”