Learning to Blush (14 page)

Mike walked by Thorton, seemingly about to leave the room, when he leaned over and whispered something into his ear.

Thorton’s eyes narrowed at whatever Mike had said. “No! I will not
get it over with
! How can you say that about your own kin? Get out.” He pointed towards the nearest exit to the kitchen. As Mike shuffled uncaringly in that direction, Thorton turned back to Penny. “My kind mates for life, Penny. You know that we don’t date casually. We’ve talked about this. A lot.” He put his hands on his hips and stared firmly at her.

“We’ve talked about
Ellie and Graham
and all that Union business, sure. But not
you and me
.”

“There is no ‘you’ and ‘me’.”

That man was stubborn as an ox! Did he think Penny couldn’t notice the bulge in his pants? “Why not?” she whined again.

He groaned then pursed his lips and then grabbed and shook the empty air in front of him, as if he wished he was shaking
her
.

“Fine, fine. So you don’t want me because we haven’t mated yet?” she clarified, her eyes glazed over. She was frustrated herself, of course. She wished getting him was as easy as walking up, touching his bulge, and asking if he needed any help with that. Unfortunately, Thorton was more of a challenge than a pizza man in a porno.

He let out a deep breath. “Exactly.”

“But you only know if you’re mated by touching skin.”

“Right…” His expression became extremely leery.

“But we haven’t touched yet; you’re always wearing gloves. Which I get—but why don’t we just see if we’ll match up?” She gave an innocent shrug, as if the consequences were no big deal. At the moment, she didn't care. She remembered people telling her that 'sex' was going to be a big deal, and it wasn't…

“Because if you’re NOT a potential mate, you’ll only try to tempt me
more
when I’m trying my best to save myself for my
true
mate… And if you ARE a match, you’re still not ready for that sort of commitment. You’re not ready to be a wife. You don’t respect, nor do you ever care to even acknowledge, our religion or our culture… And you don’t even believe in monogamy!”

She squinted and put her hands defensively on her hips. “Well, Ellie didn’t know anything either and was my age when she got Graham! And you’re not stomping around angrily about
them
!”

“Ellie has been a snarky, insubordinate, reckless, irresponsible brat since day one! Since we met her, she’s nearly gotten frozen to the wing of our spaceship, blew out a whole floor of the mothership, destroyed the anti-gravity device, has gone out of her way to get the worst marks of anyone else in the service, blew a main power engine, stole a ship, crashed it, sent Graham into a suicidal depression while we went halfway across the universe to bring her back where even you guys were forced into the fray! Why would I want that? My hands are full just helping Graham keep her alive. Why would I want one just like her?”

She frowned, and then felt her lip quiver. She hadn't really been compared to Ellie before, and she didn't like it. They were so, so different. Ellie was spoiled—she got everything growing up that she ever wanted. Penny basically had to grow up in the shadows, and it made her tougher than Ellie. She felt her childhood had made her more mature, made her grow up faster. She took far more care of others than anyone had ever taken care of her!

Now Thorton stood dead-set against her, like he’d rather stay a virgin forever than to risk being with her, just in case she turned out to be a spoiled brat like Ellie! “I’m not Ellie, you know,” she told him snappishly, and then grabbed her water and marched back towards the sofa in the main cabin.

Mike was there where she’d been napping earlier, watching the video game on the monitor over Tim and Tom’s head.

“What did you say to him?” she demanded, sitting on the couch next to him.

Mike threw up one of his hands innocently. “All I said was that his playing-hard-to-get shtick was only gonna hurt him in the end. I said that you only want what you can’t have, and then once you get it, you’ll lay off. I told him to just bury his bone and get it over with so he could move on,” he replied honestly.

“I do NOT only want what I can’t have!” she snapped. “How can you say that?”

“Because of Don McCleary, Pete Sanchez, Mart Hooper, Jim Jerg—” Tim started to list off names, not taking his eye off the monitor.

Her face heated. “Shut up!”

“I’m just saying, the only reason you liked any of those guys was because they pretended that you didn’t exist or treated you like crap. Making you back off is only making you desperate. You have that I-want-everyone-to-love me thing going on.”

“I blame our parents,” Tom continued blankly, his words crunchy with his intellectualism. “I think that behavior pattern has been caused by a lack of self-worth that Mom and Dad never instilled in you because you didn’t like anything that interested them, and then you were born with a vagina—surely your first offense. When you were born, I remember Dad didn’t talk to Mom for a week, like she had a girl on purpose. And then she treated you like it was your fault that you put that bone of contention between them. I’ve seen similar cases… You know, when watching Dr. Phil.”

And suddenly Tom didn't seem as intellectual as he was pretending to be.

“I told you to stop watching that trash, Tom. It makes you full of shit,” Mike snapped at Tom, and then looked over at Penny. “Look, I like Thorton… Sorta. He’s an asshole, but he’s an enjoyable sort of asshole. He's a decent guy, even. But I mean, what do you think’s gonna happen? Once he finds his mystical-magical-mate, whether you’re with him or not, he’ll discard you like yesterday’s dirty laundry. That relationship has a failure rate of 100 percent. Someone’s gonna come out of this heart broken, and Thorton knows it.

“And say you ARE his mate—which is pretty damn unlikely, but let’s just
say
—it’s not like you can step away from it. It’d be his way or your ass. Your head's not so far up your ass that you haven't noticed how stubborn and self-centric they are. He wouldn't put your needs ahead of his own. He’d act like he owned you. Like look at the Captain and how he treats Ellie—he’s strict, man! He’s on everybody’s ass about everything. He reminds me of my second grade teacher. Not in a good way. That man was so damn pedantic I wanted to stab him in his eye with my Number-2 pencil.”

“I like Captain Graham! He’s cool,” Tim responded suddenly, his tone as sunshiny as always. “Ellie’s just a pain in the ass to him, like she is to everyone. But
I
think he treats her super-nice. He takes care of her and protects her, you know? Besides, I'm a guy who's not shy to admit that I like a little romance, and coming all the way across from wherever just to bury her, because he totally thought she was dead… Well, that's like total Richard Gear shit! There’s like… chivalry and stuff going on, Guys. He’s like her Edward.”

Tom put down his remote control to look at his brother. His avatar on the screen died promptly as he drawled in echo, “Her
Edward
? Is that a
Twilight
reference?” When Tim shrugged unapologetically, Tom shook his head and then returned to his remote control. “Dude, that is so gay.”

“You watched it, too,” Tim replied, waggling his head and rolling his eyes.

“If I had I wouldn't have advertised it…”

“Shut up, guys,” Penny demanded, bringing her legs up. “Never mind, okay? I think I can handle rejection just as long as you stop trying to do this half-assed autopsy on my psychology.”

“So you’re gonna give up on trying to get Thorton in your pants?” Tom asked.

She pursed her lips into a stubborn line. “Hell no. His mouth says no, but his eyes say ‘hell yes!’ He will be mine. You can chisel that down in stone!” She crossed her arms firmly across her chest.

“So you’re not going to take any of my concerns to heart? Did you listen to me at all?” Mike asked, sounding disappointed.

“I totally listened; I just think you’re full of shit.”

Mike snorted. “Fine. But when you bite off more than you can chew, don’t go crying to any of us. We can see the writing on the wall, and the wall says, ‘Disaster’. You just can't read it because you're not done making a fool of yourself. You can reap the whirlwind yourself when it comes around. Right guys?” he added, gesturing to the twenty-one-year-olds that were more resembling seven-year-olds with how they were sprawled out on the floor in front of him.

“Right,” Tim agreed.

“You’ve been warned,” Tom added.

“Well, thank you, Guys,” she snipped sarcastically. “Next time, if you're going to force your opinions down my throat, try not to be guys who haven't had a real relationship and who all haven't fucked in so long, your balls are probably full of dust.”

“I wash my hands of you,” Mike grumbled, waving her off.

“Fine,” she said, not caring.

“Fine.”

* * *

Thorton had probably paced the ship’s back hallway two dozen times before he heard a voice over him say, “Okay, Boss. I gotta ask, what’s eatin’ ya?”

He was startled at first and stepped back, and then looked behind him, and then in front of him. He was pretty sure God didn’t have Ellie’s voice, so that couldn’t have been Him…

“Up here! Duh,” Ellie teased. He looked up and saw, on the far side of the hallway, two red shoes dangling from a vent in the ceiling.

He furrowed his brow and walked over to the shoes and looked up. Ellie could barely be seen where she was sitting. “What the hell are you working on, Kitten? Do you know how dirty it is up there? You’re wearing your protective gear, right?” he lectured promptly.

She didn’t answer half of that. She merely said, “Yeah, I know. That’s why I’m changing out these vents and filters. This one’s all warped, so I have to take off the grating… You’re welcome, by the way,” she added peevishly. “Now—what’s the scoop?”

“The scoop?” He had a feeling she was trying to translate human slang into his language. It had been fun at first, but now it felt like human slang was coming out his ears.

“Yeah. What’s the news, Daddio? Might as well spill your guts before I have to fix the hole you're wearing into the floor. Who pissed you off this time?”

He rolled his eyes. “Who says it’s not
you
again?”

“I think we've reached a point in our relationship where you don't stomp around when you're angry at me. Instead, you get right under my grill! So, I’m guessing it’s either Graham or
them
.” The word made her family sound like the evil force in a horror film.

“Kitten, you
are
one of
them
,” he reminded. “You’re not exactly my confidant. You’re an insider.”

“Yeah, but who else have you got?” Before he even recalled who he had been using as a ‘confidant’ for the last year, she headed Thorton off at the pass when she reminded, “You can't talk to all-wise-and-knowing Peyton. He's a million billion miles away right now.”

Thorton huffed out an angry sigh and put his hands on his hips, trying to decide if Ellie was to be trusted.

“I can keep a secret, I swear!” She nearly sounded desperate now, as if whatever Thorton was going to say was too juicy to miss.

He stared at the red shoes, which were kicking back and forth like she was a kid on a swing. “Fine then,” he grunted, and then took a deep breath. “I think I’m in love with your cousin.”

It sounded like she dropped a tool somewhere—there a loud BANG! She didn’t say anything for a second. When she finally did, all she could say was, “Whoa.”

“And she wants to
date
me.”

Her voice sounded awkward. “Uhh… Yeah, well…,” she began before she cleared her throat. “Well that’s good, right? It’s a good sign she might at least like you back if she wants to date you… Even though you’d be like… the first Swarii ever to actually…
date
before mating
.
”

“I wouldn’t be, actually. It’s happened, and when it has, it hasn’t ended pretty. If you’d watch more of our movies you might know that,” he grumbled. “But it’s… well,
unwise
to date a woman you’re not matched to.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, seeming to understand that much. “And have you seen if you’re matched to Penny?”

“That’s what
she
asked!” he huffed, frustrated. “What am I expected to do, Kitten? Just walk up to her and bind her to me for the rest of her life? Besides, she’s so…
experienced
. What if she’s mated to me but still one day goes for another guy? What if that’s just her nature? She’s so…
flirty
. I don’t like that.”

“You love that she’s flirty, you just fear she’ll be flirty with someone else,” she corrected. “I’d be worried, too. Penny’s got a sex drive of a post-pubescent
boy
. And she has this fear-of-attachment thing that makes her trade boys more than Maverick trades cards!” She swallowed. “So… You actually love her? Like…
really
?”

He bit his bottom lip for a moment, and then waved his arms about with frustration, crying, “Well, it's an easy trap to fall into, Kitten! I mean, she's easy to love. She's beautiful as all get-out! The sound of her voice is just… So sweet. And then she does all these cute little things like mumbling when she's napping, and the fact that she likes to be held and touched, even if I can only do it with gloves on! And then she has the nerve to be funny, and smart, and… well,
spunky
! And with the way she takes care of her brothers rather than the other-way-round, despite the fact that she's younger, makes me actually think she might be a good
mother
!”

Suddenly Ellie bent so that her head came out of the vent rather than her shoes. Her face was not protected by goggles or a face mask, was completely filthy, and all she did was raise a soot-covered eyebrow at him. “A good mother?” she repeated blankly.

The look made him uneasy, especially when she just shook her head and then raised it back into the vent. “
What
?” he demanded with exasperation.