Learning to Be Little Again (20 page)

Chapter Twenty-Four

“Alright, Juliana, you are set to go home,” Dr. Grey said to me as he signed my discharge papers.

I sighed, so happy that I could go home and be in my own space again. “Thank you so much, Dr. Grey.”

“I’ll see you in a couple of weeks when it’s time to take those casts off. Take good care of her, Robert,” Dr. Grey said, giving Robert’s shoulder a light pat as he left the room.

Earlier Robert had helped me dress and had given me my purse with my teddy bear tucked inside. I was all ready to go. Except I had to wait for someone to escort me out of the hospital in a wheelchair.
Stupid hospital policies.

Carefully, I swung my legs over the side of the bed. Robert was by my side in an instant. “Be careful, sweetie. You shouldn’t be moving around by yourself.”

“I’m fine. Don’t worry. I only broke a couple of bones,” I chuckled, but stopped when I saw the look on his face. He looked almost angry. I was about to ask him why when a nurse came with a wheelchair.

“Ready to go, Juliana?”

“Yes.”

Before the nurse could help me out of bed, Robert had me in his arms and placed me down in the wheelchair.

“Thank you, sir. That makes my job much easier.” The nurse chuckled and together we left the room.

* * *

When we got to Robert’s house, he once again carried me upstairs and surprisingly into my little girl’s room. I thought he would have brought me into his bedroom, where I normally slept.

“What are we doing in here?” I asked, as he laid me down on something soft on top of the dresser that hadn’t been there before.

“I’m taking care of my baby girl, silly,” he said, and then plopped a pacifier from out of nowhere into my mouth.

What the heck is going on
? I never used pacifiers. I was going to spit it out to ask him if he had lost his mind, but he put his finger to the pacifier and said, “If you spit that out, young lady, I will send you to bed early. Don’t worry about anything. Daddy is here to take care of you.”

He removed his finger and for the time being, I didn’t spit out the pacifier. I closed my eyes, trying to suck on it, while I heard him move around. I still felt very sore from the accident, but as long as I didn’t move too quickly, I was fine.

I didn’t understand what had happened to Robert though. He had been fine before I fell asleep to take a nap in the hospital yesterday. But when I had woken up, he had been almost a little… possessive and angry. It started to scare me because it reminded me slightly of how Boyle had treated me, like I was his possession.

I jumped a little when Daddy’s hands pulled down my pants. I opened my eyes to look up at him, wondering what he was doing.

“Easy, sweetie. I’m just going to change you,” he said, lifting my legs and taking both my pants and panties off.

I nodded my head as he also removed my shirt and bra. I hoped he was going to change me into some of my comfiest pajamas. I just wanted to lie back and relax for the next couple of days.

He let out a hiss and I looked down to see that I had a rather large bruise covering my abdomen. Funny, that part of my body didn’t hurt that bad. I removed my pacifier and said, “It isn’t that bad, honey. It just looks worse than it is.”

He gave a curt nod and then guided my pacifier back into my mouth. I sighed, closing my eyes again. This had to be hard for him to see. I knew he felt responsible for what happened to me, but it wasn’t his fault. I wished he understood that. Why did men have to be so, ‘It’s our job to protect females’? Didn’t they know that females could take care of themselves?

My legs were lifted and when they were put back down, there was something soft underneath my bottom. I just thought it was some pajamas, but when I felt Daddy putting baby powder on my pussy, I knew I was wrong. My eyes opened just as he was tightening the diaper around my pelvis.

“W-what are you d-doing?” I stuttered, taking the pacifier out of my mouth once again. We had hardly talked about this, but I thought that telling him I liked to be six would let him know I wasn’t okay with wearing diapers. Sure, I had worn them once before, but that was when he let me know I didn’t have to use them if I didn’t want to.

“I’m taking care of you, baby girl. You can’t think I would let you get up and move around right now. For the next couple of weeks, until those casts come off you, I’m going to be treating you as a one year old.”

“But I—” I began to say, but he shushed me!
He
shushed
me!
I was angry now.

“There’s no buts, sweetie. You need time to heal. Now, I want you to keep that pacifier in your mouth and no more talking. One more outburst and you will be getting a spanking. Once I finish dressing you, we’ll watch some TV together for a little while and then I’ll make you some lunch. Just relax,” he said, putting my pacifier back in my mouth.

I was in shock. Where did my sweet Daddy go? I wanted him back. I didn’t say one word as he pulled out a pair of fleece yellow footie pajamas with little teddy bears on them. I just lay there as he managed to get all of my limbs encased in the soft fleece. Somehow, the pajamas were big enough that they fit over my casts. When he finished dressing me, he lifted me up and carried me downstairs into his living room.

Laying me down on the couch, he said, “I’ll be right back, sweetie. I want to get you something to drink while we watch TV.”

He left the room and I just looked up at the white ceiling, trying to calm my nerves. I wasn’t so sure about what he had planned. I never thought about acting younger than four. The idea just never appealed to me. I liked to learn and have a little independence. If Robert was planning on treating me like a one year old for a couple of weeks, I was going to have zero independence for a while.

Samantha and I had talked about this before. She said that she loved being treated like a baby. She said it was the best way to really relax and forget your problems. But I still wasn’t so sure I wanted this to happen.

I also wasn’t sure if I could use my diaper. The thought of using it made me feel slightly nauseous. I was going to talk to Robert about it once he got back. He couldn’t be serious about it.

Just as I shifted to get into a more comfortable position, he came back into the living room.

“Alright, baby girl. Here’s your bottle,” he said, handing it over to me as he sat down next to me. He pulled me close and tossed a blanket over us. “Don’t want my baby girl to get chilled,” he said, as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders so we were sitting right next to one another. He reached for the TV remote and turned on
Sesame Street.

He pulled out my pacifier, reached for the bottle, and plopped it into my mouth.
Guess, I’ll have to talk to him about this later,
I decided as I sank further into the couch, watching Burt and Ernie sing a song together.

* * *

We watched TV for an hour before my tummy started to make noises.

“Someone’s hungry,” he said, placing a kiss on top of my head. “I’ll be right back with your lunch.”

I lay there, thinking about how these next couple of weeks were going to be for me. The way he made it sound, I would be completely reliant on him. I wasn’t sure if I felt comfortable with that, but I decided I would try to calmly talk to him after lunch.

“Here’s lunch,” he said, walking back into the living room, carrying a tray filled with food.

“Thanks,” I said, noticing he brought lunch for both of us. He set the tray on the coffee table and then handed me a plastic plate with small cut up pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

“Sweetie, you can place the plate on your lap and eat with your left hand. When you want a drink, just let me know and I’ll feed you your bottle.”

“Okay,” I said, noting that once again my drink was in a bottle. I was seriously going to have to talk to him about this after lunch. We ate lunch together in silence. I just couldn’t say anything. I was thinking too much about how I wanted to tell him I was not up to actually acting like a baby.

I didn’t know how to phrase it right. I didn’t want to sound rude and make him angry, and I really did appreciate that he was willing to help me. I just wished he had talked to me so we could have come up with a plan together about how I should be treated during this time.

We finished lunch quickly. I’d hardly touched my bottle because I was starting to feel my bladder growing full and didn’t want to drink too much.

He noticed that I hadn’t drunk much so he picked up the bottle and placed it to my lips. “Go on, take a sip,” he encouraged.

Not wanting to start a fight, I opened my mouth to let him push the bottle inside. I began to suck the juice, hoping that once I finished this, I could talk to him.

“All done,” he declared, pulling the nipple of the bottle out of my mouth after several minutes and placing it on the coffee table. He patted my stomach and I cringed. Just that slight pressure made my bladder feel ready to explode.

“I’m so sorry, baby girl. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he said, leaning over and kissing my stomach.

“You didn’t. I just… I just have to go to the bathroom,” I said, not meeting his gaze. This was embarrassing.

“Sweetie, just use your diaper. Don’t worry about a thing. Daddy will take care of you.”

“I can’t… Robert, we need to talk. I don’t—” I began, but he interrupted me.

“Let me help you then,” he said, and before I could stop him, he started to press down on my low abdomen.

“Ahhh!” I cried out as a gush of warm liquid filled my diaper. I couldn’t help the tears that cascaded down my face as I continued to wet my diaper.
I
didn’t want this! He didn’t listen to me,
I thought as I finally finished emptying my bladder.

“Shhhh… baby girl. You’re okay. Daddy’s here,” he said, kissing my head.

This just made me cry harder! Big, fat tears were freely rolling down my face. I couldn’t control them. I couldn’t believe he had just made me do that, without asking. Granted, maybe he took my, “I can’t”, as me being willing to do it, but that I was just having trouble letting go and using the diaper.

I closed my eyes, continuing to cry as he picked me up and carried me into my little girl’s room. He gently placed me down on the changing table and made quick work of changing my wet diaper and putting me in a dry one.

“All done, sweetie pie. I think it’s nap time now. I don’t want to have a cranky baby girl later,” he said before he lifted me up and carried me over to my little girl bed. Somehow, he managed to pull down the covers and place me down. Then he lifted the covers up to my chin, gave me my teddy bear, and placed a kiss on my forehead.

I continued to cry. I just felt so ashamed. I’d never wanted to do that infantile act, but not five minutes ago, I’d done it.

“Sweetie, you’re okay. What you just did is no big deal. Here, roll onto your tummy,” he said, not giving me any time to do it myself. He just moved me so I was on my stomach. He began to rub my back and despite my anger, I could feel myself starting to fall asleep.

“Sweet dreams, baby girl.”

That was the last thing I heard before I drifted off to dreamland.

* * *

I awoke two hours later and turned onto my back, looking around my room, trying to wake up. I noticed there was a baby monitor on my nightstand.
Robert must have put it there,
I thought as I stretched out.

I must have been making a lot of noise because a few seconds later, he walked into my bedroom. “Hi there, baby girl. Did you have a nice nap?”

I nodded.

“How would you like for me to read you some books now?”

“Okay. That sounds fun.” I needed a few more minutes to think about exactly how I wanted to tell him I couldn’t act this young. I’d tried before, and I remembered how that had ended.

“Alright. I have a large stack waiting for you and teddy in my bedroom. I’ll give you a lift.” He picked me up and carried me into his room, sat me down on the bed, gave me teddy, and then sat down on the other side.

Pulling me close, he asked, “How does starting off with
The Hungry Caterpillar
sound to you?”

“Perfect.” I loved Eric Carle books. The pictures were so much fun to look at. I relaxed as he began to read.

* * *

It was the next morning and I was at my wit’s end with Robert. I hadn’t talked to him about how he’d been treating me, and it had gotten worse. Every time I tried to bring up the fact that I didn’t like acting this young, he would put a pacifier or bottle in my mouth and tell me that baby girls didn’t worry.

I knew he was trying to protect me, but he was seriously taking it to a whole new level. He never asked me if I felt comfortable using my diaper, sucking on a pacifier, or letting him do every single thing for me. I couldn’t take it anymore! Yes, I had gotten hurt, but I wasn’t an invalid.

When I woke up this morning, I decided I was going to put my foot down, especially because I had to go to the bathroom again and it wasn’t just to pee.

“Morning, sweetie. How are you feeling today?” he asked, walking into the bedroom with a big smile on his face.

“I still feel sore, but better.” Not wanting to beat around the bush, I said, “Listen, I umm… I need to go to the bathroom.” I felt my cheeks blush. This was not something I had ever planned on talking to him about.

“Then use your diaper and I’ll change you, sweetie. You know that,” he said, sitting on the side of the bed and tapping my head.

He
tapped
my head. Like I was some… pet. I was furious. I took a deep breath, trying to stay calm.
This isn’t going to go well if you yell at him
.

“I mean, I have to do more than pee. Please bring me to the bathroom.”

“Baby girl, you can use your diaper for everything. You know I’ll take care of your every need.”