Leaping (14 page)
Authors: Diane Munier
Paul
was in line for coffee now.
Jordan
remembered Cori then, how they'd schemed together. He could be mad at Alisha
now…if things had gone badly. He should be anyway.
Alisha
seemed to know what he was thinking. She'd always been weird that way, not just
with him, but especially with him.
Her
eyes were sheepish, watching him as she sipped. "This is good," she
said. "You didn't make it."
"No,"
he said, stern.
"
Uht
-oh," Paul sang, having filled his cup.
How
many times over the years had he heard Paul say that, just like that, over
something Alisha had
done.
"Yeah,
the
uht
-oh queen," Jordan said.
Alisha
lowered her mug and smiled.
"That's
why you're here," Jordan said. "You couldn't stand it…not
knowing."
She
was going to deny it, but she ended up laughing.
"Actually…we
had planned to come next week…after…."
After
Cori would have gone home.
"But
then…," Alisha's eyes landed on Paul and she widened her smile.
"You
might need to sit down," Paul said.
"Why?"
Jordan.
"So
I don't spill your coffee all over you when I tell you you're going to be an
uncle!" Alisha pretty much shouted.
Jordan
quickly set his coffee down and prepared for her leap. She was also coffee free
and already in the air. He caught her easily as she'd stopped growing at
twelve.
He
held her then.
"That's
great," he got out.
"When?"
"May
4th."
Jordan
let go of her long enough to shake Paul's hand. They were all laughing.
"Good
job, man," Jordan said.
Paul
nodded. "Best job I ever had."
Alisha
lifted her head, and Paul helped her get her feet back on the floor. That's
when they saw Cori standing there, in sleep pants and a tank with a light robe
over.
Her
hair was long and her hands clasped in front.
"Cori!"
Alisha said loudly. Then she snapped out of her shock and crossed the floor
quickly once again. She grabbed Cori in a hug and that one looked surprised,
but couldn't help grinning and laughing too as her hands awkwardly patted
Alisha.
"Oh
Cori it's so good to meet you," Alisha said stepping back and holding
Cori's hands.
"You
too," Cori said softly.
Paul
followed the tail of Alisha's comet like always and graciously shook Cori's
hand. They exchanged pleasantries and Alisha asked if she'd heard their good
news and Cori apologized for overhearing, and they both insisted they were glad
she heard and Cori gave hearty congratulations, looking over Alisha's shoulder
this
time
to smile at Jordan.
Seth
was up now, coming slowly down the stairs. Cori said, "This is Seth."
Alisha
went right to him, on the stairs, and shook his hand. Seth smiled, like he was
trying to believe this woman accosting him so early in the morning, well it was
ten, but they'd all been sleeping late.
Paul
and Cori were cooking breakfast, and Alisha was busy unpacking, putting
herself
and Paul into the downstairs bedroom. She had
already been upstairs, flitting about in search of fresh sheets, but Jordan
knew she was checking out the sleeping arrangements. He knew her so well, knew
it was her first thought when she saw the lovely Cori materialize. Then Seth
had thrown her, and she had to know how it was, if Jordan and Cori had the
audacity to shack right up with Seth around, or if they were apart. Alisha
wouldn't have counted on Seth. He was not in the original plan, but it was
unlikely she would know about their run home. Or maybe she did. Maybe Cori was
in constant communication with her. How did he know?
He
didn't.
Seth
was quickly dressed and out to look at the water. He'd asked Cori's permission
and Cori told him not to go far. Jordan dressed for a run, and followed Seth
out, but not before catching Cori's eye and shooting her a kiss because no one
was looking.
He
hoped that would give her something to think about, and he was smiling when he
caught up to Seth. "Can you jog?"
He
didn't know, with the chest injury, the leg injury.
"I'm
not much of a runner," Seth said, but he started to jog a little. He was
slow, and he gave up quick so they walked. They were headed toward the cabins
where Cori stayed, where he knew she still had some stuff which she planned to
clean out today. She had the place for three weeks and there were three days
left.
So
Seth was pretty surprised when Jordan smacked his arm with the back of his hand
and said, "Hey that's where your mom was staying. Let's see if we can get
her stuff."
But
it was locked and Jordan figured Cori had the key, so they looked in the
windows. All Jordan could think about was the sex they'd had in that little
kitchen.
Man,
they hadn't held back. It had been unbelievable. He nearly groaned out loud
thinking about her.
But
he was with Seth, and he needed to get a grip and he laughed a little.
"So
what…Alisha knows Mom…and she stayed here…and you said you guys just
met…." Seth said.
"Yeah.
Does it matter?" Jordan said taking
a big step off the porch.
"I
wanted to come with her," he said.
"Yeah,
she said that," Jordan said.
"So…you're
like…you and my mom…."
"You
asked her this, right?" Jordan said.
"Yeah."
Jordan
nodded like that explained it.
"It's
like I said, I really like her…a lot. That okay?"
Seth
shrugged but he was quiet.
Thoughtful.
They
were back along the water. Breakfast was probably ready and Jordan was
starving.
"She
tell
you about my ex-step-father?"
"Yeah.
She said…he travels."
"Yeah.
He was…well at first I was happy for
her. He seemed…good. But then…I don't even see him anymore."
"Yeah.
That's tough. His loss
though…right?"
Seth
shrugged again.
"I'm…I'm
not him," Jordan said. "Just so you know."
Seth didn't say anything.
It remained to be seen and they both knew it.
They
got caught up looking out at the water again. "You ever…like the happiest
things make you sad?" Seth said.
Jordan
thought this over. He didn't want to make this about the incident if it wasn't.
He didn't want to be known by Seth as the one you couldn't talk to because he'd
always make everything about 'it.'
"You
mean like…feeling depressed or something?"
Seth
had his hands on his hips.
"No…more like…I don't know.
It's stupid."
"Tell
me."
"More
like…if you're already sad…you're just
more sad…
but if
you feel happy…you go to the same place.
Sad."
"Are
you talking about the guys again?
About the thing?"
"The
shootings.
Yes," Seth said impatiently.
"Like
a survivor's guilt thing?" Jordan said.
"Mom
said that's probably it, but I don't know. I'm not sorry I'm here. I'm not
guilty. But I'm sad for them. And when I'm happy about something…I can't help
but think…like the ocean. They'll never see it. I'm not sure they had. Lots of
kids at school haven't. Not everyone has the money to take trips."
Jordan
had his hands shoved deep in his pockets. His shoulders were hunched because
he'd dressed to run and not stand still. "It just sucks," Jordan
said. "Truth is…it just sucks."
Seth
looked at him and smiled.
"Yeah."
"I
think the ocean is one of those places…it's so forceful and enormous…it's life.
Hey…it's got its sad stories too, right?"
"The
Titanic," Seth said and they laughed.
"Exactly,"
Jordan said. "But still…." They stood there watching the waves build
and hurry to crash and ebb near their feet. "It's just a lot of things.
Life is a lot of things. But it's still great…you know?"
Seth
looked out at the water. "Why didn't God stop it?"
"Yeah.
That's the million dollar
question…always is. You remember your Easter story?"
"Like
him dying on the cross and…resurrection?"
"Yeah.
That was God…stopping
it."
"But…."
"You
haven't heard anything sad before…what Carson did to us? You think we're the
only ones who've ever suffered?
Really?"
"Well…no."
"But
it was alright before it happened to you and me. We weren't having any problems
with God then."
"I
don't know."
"Seth.
It sucked. That kind of…unfairness…injustice…violence…it sucks. It will never
feel good. It will never be good. But it ain't everything." Jordan swept
his hand at the water. "Take a look. Life is still happening. It will
still blow your mind. You and your mom…you guys blow my mind."
Seth
laughed at that. "Why would we blow your mind?"
"I
uh…I feel like I got a family. I know it's quick and I don't want to weird you
out or anything, but…I'm looking forward to the future."
They
stood there for a few seconds more. Jordan prayed to God he hadn't said too
much.
"She's
only been divorced, like, a month."
Jordan
snorted. Then he laughed. "I told you I know it's quick. But they were
separated a long time, right?"
"Yeah,"
Seth said.
"I
know
you're not wanting
your mom to be hurt. I plan to
be good to her."
"Yeah.
You said you're not him."
It was awkward now, but
they were saying what needed to be said.
"How's
it been with…the after with the guys' families…the ones who died?"
Seth
shrugged again. "One of them…Jason…I don't see. They moved away. But
Aiden…he was a friend. His mom lets us go over…anytime. And he's got a little
brother…and he's like…we play games and stuff."
"That's
cool," Jordan said.
And
there they were, side by side, until Alisha called them to breakfast.
Chapter
18
Their
first breakfast in Grandfather's house felt festive, even when it was awkward,
even when plates were full and Paul and Alisha and Cori were at the table and
Jordan and Seth were on the couch.
The
only way to deal with his new family in front of his old one was to focus on
Seth, at least until Jordan could grow comfortable with that self-satisfied
smirk Alisha wore.
It
still wasn't okay, in theory if nothing else, that Alisha had manipulated his
life.
He
wasn't so impossible she couldn't have spoken to him about Cori…invading his
escape. Okay, he would have never, ever agreed to such a plan as meeting the
daughter of Chief
Tulley
and mother of Seth, on a
lonely beach in the heart of winter, just the two of them. Never in a million
years would that have been a-go.
So…yeah…he
got it. But he didn't have to love it.
But
look at her now, and he almost couldn't stop looking at her…Cori Weston. Yet
every time his sister caught him looking at her…that smirk.
Maddening.
Alisha
was explaining some of the history of the house, that it had been built by
their grandfather and their
aunt
Karen and uncle Ken
had refurbished it, practically rebuilt some of it to turn it into a seasonal
vacation property. In peak season it went for over three grand a night.
Jordan
realized again how little he and Cori knew about one another's lives, how they
had not even felt the need or hadn't been light-hearted enough to be able to be
anywhere close to normal, it had been this desperate red-hot coupling, then
this crazy wanting to be together, at least for him, then the brief time at her
home and the rapid opening of all the black boxes from the unresolved things in
his past, and the realization of love.
And now this.
They really were working their ways backwards.
What
a slick, difficult path, a twisted trajectory, a carnival ride that went
insanely fast then came to an abrupt halt only to take off in
a frenzy
again.
"Are
you hearing me bro, are you listening?" Paul was saying.
"I'm
sorry," Jordan said, realizing he'd been holding his fork, eggs at the
ready while a million thoughts had besieged him.
"It's
rented out for the whole season." Paul meant the house. Real estate is
what he
did,
they did, the uncle, the aunt, Paul,
Alisha.
"That's
great," Jordan replied, but he only pretended to care. He was noticing
Seth's leg, how he kept jiggling it so quickly the couch was vibrating.
"Hey
buddy, slow down," Jordan said to Seth.
Seth
slowed it then.
"Aren't
you going to eat your food?" Jordan asked him.
"It's
my medicine. It kills my appetite," he said.
"What medicine?
From the virus?"
Jordan asked.
"No.
The stuff for my nerves," he answered.
Jordan
looked at him, then at Cori. She was too far to know what he said, and she
smiled weakly as Alisha went on about her favorite vacation destinations.
"So
you take it every day…the stuff for the nerves?"
"Cymbalta…yeah,"
Seth said. "I had some trouble…sleeping…going out…then back at
school."
"What
kind of trouble?"
"Um…,"
he took a nibble of a strawberry. "Just…I'd have to leave…."
"Leave
school?"
"Leave
the room…I'd go to the nurse. But no one thought much…I'm like this special
case…just this kid…I don't know."
"A
special case from the shootings?"
"Yeah.
I'm not like them…I grew up there,
but…." He set his full plate on the coffee table. "What are we going
to do today?" And the leg was back.
"You're
the boy who lived."
"The
chosen one?"
Seth shot back.
Jordan
grinned. He liked Seth's quick mind. That was
in tact
at least.
He
flashed a look at Cori. She was pretending to listen to Alisha, but he felt her
attention on him and Seth, her eyes…too much hope.
"What…do
you want to do? You're at the ocean, man. Don't tell me you're used to it.
Danville is land-locked as it gets." There was nothing wrong with Jordan's
appetite. He wiped his plate with a heel of good bakery bread and popped it in
his mouth.
The
leg…that was whacked to move like that.
He wanted to say to chill, but if the
dude needed to release that kind of energy Jordan didn't want to add to the
burden.
"Did
you sleep last night?" Jordan asked.
The
boy shrugged. "I don't know.
Some at least."
"Why
don't you sleep?"
"I
don't know. Let's do something."
"We
are doing something," Jordan said. "We're eating."
"No…,"
Seth trailed off. He was up quick. He barely limped, but you could see it some
when he first got going.
He
went upstairs and Jordan took his plate to the sink.
He
rinsed off his dish and Cori was soon beside him. She stuck her plate under the
water, her arm against his, her eyes searching his.
"Seth
said he takes meds for his nerves," he said. He was bugged that Seth had
gone upstairs, just left like that. Was it because he didn't get his way?
Jordan couldn't keep taking his emotional temperature. Seemed his mom already
did that.
Cori
reached to shut off the water. He could tell she didn't wish to make eye
contact, letting her hair fall forward.
Just a little thing
like that.
"Isn't
he young to take that nerve shit?"
She
shrugged, wiping her hands on a towel. "He's alive, Jordan. He's pretty
healthy for a boy who had a bullet bounce around in his chest and another rip
through his leg. So he gets to be young now. Whatever it takes…you know?"
Jordan
looked behind him at Paul and Alisha. They were both pretending to read
different sections of the newspaper.
"He
sees a psychologist?"
"He
has. And a psychiatrist," she said.
"For the
prescription."
"And
what do they say?"
"Post-traumatic
stress, generalized anxiety, depression."
"He's
in grief," Jordan said and he felt defensive, like he wanted to take on
the whole mental health community. It didn't make sense…his reaction.
"I
know that Jordan…grandfather, friends, self, youth, innocence, peace,
well-being…yes…grief." She'd said this with feeling, but she wasn't
spitting it at him.
"He's
not eating."
"The
medicine…."
"How
much medication is he on?"
"He's
been on so many things.
Currently?
Four
things.
One of them is for mood…the Cymbalta. And an occasional sleeping
aid. You don't know how difficult it's been."
"A
big dose?"
She
shrugged.
They
had to stop speaking when Seth came back down the stairs. And his unexplainable
frustration lay in the sink like garbage and he wished he could shove it in the
disposal and grind it to nothing.
Paul
asked Seth if he wanted to go to the store with him to pick up some fresh fish
for dinner. Seth said a polite no thank you and plopped onto the couch. He had
his
iPad
and was pretty engrossed.
"Do
you want to go to the cabin with me, Seth?" Cori said.
"No.
I've already been." He did not look up.
"I'll
go with you," Jordan said, his eyes on Seth, thinking if he offered to go,
Seth would too.
But
Seth didn't offer to go anywhere. He kept playing his game.
So
Jordan and Cori put on jackets and took off for the cabin. The talk about Seth
had put them in a weird place. He felt like he'd been apart from her for a week
and he hadn't been apart from her much at all. He took her hand. He needed to
touch her.
"Hey,"
he said yanking a bit on her fingers. "I need to know. I'm just getting it
figured out. Peace?"
"I
just…well don't judge me. I feel like you are, like you disapprove…of my
parenting."
A
few more steps.
"I didn't realize is all. I was thrown. I'm on your side. Seth's
too."
"What
is this thing we're doing…so awkward?" she said waving her free hand.
"I hate this."
He
looked over his shoulder at the house.
He half expected Seth
to have changed his mind and come running after them.
Seeing he wasn't,
Jordan scooped Cori in his arms and swung her around. He got a squeal out of
her at least.
That made him feel
better.
He
moved in for a kiss and she made the effort to reciprocate. He set her on her feet
then. "Hey…."
"Jordan…I've
let you in. But I told you…it's not easy. It's just…worth the risk. You…are
worth the risk."
The
shapes were elementary, but he liked the colors. She had wanted to capture
those.
Sunrise, here, the grays and pinks.
She had
sold her share of a florist's shop after the accident. But color, she loved to
study that.
She
led him into the small bedroom there and she went to the bed and lay down.
She
lifted her hand and he got close, took her hand in his and she pulled him down.
"I'd
hate to think I had no more self-control," he said, and he laughed some,
and she didn't, she remained sober.
"I've
needed to be with you like this," she said, already lifting her hips to
kick off the linen pants and her underwear.
He
did the same, bared his lower half and she led, bringing him to her, pulling
him by the hips as she guided him in.
He
stared into her eyes, trying to see what it was she felt with such intensity
she could not smile or even wait, what was this?
He
was going to go slow, let her set the pace, but it caught up to him then, her
open warmth, the way it felt to be joined by flesh, and he gasped and laughed,
embarrassed to hook into it then, how it was, how serious, how real and
un-named and how needy he was, not cool, not in control, just reduced, ready to
beg, beg her not to stop gripping him, between her legs and between her hands,
to never stop wanting him like this, to never stop knowing with such clarity,
such certainty that they had to be together.
Recognition.
She recognized him. She was it for him,
but it was the same for her.
Yes
she was struggling under his judgment and to let him in, and her fear of
marriage, but she wasn't drawing back, she wasn't hiding.
"Mom?"
It was Seth.
