Authors: Tl Alexander
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary
And alert the media—because I agree with my grandmother.
“I think I’m going to be sick,” I pout-whine. “Holy hell, I’m having a double dicker.”
The good, (maybe bad, and not so funny) doctor’s laughter kicks up a notch—toward hysteria.
I feel tears flood by eyes, and not happy tears. What the hell is wrong with her? Having two penises isn’t a good thing. It’s bad—very, very bad.
Dr. Warren wipes her happy tears off with a tissue. She then gifts me with a big shit-ass grin and points to the monitor.
“One little guy with one penis.”
She moves the mouse to the right. “Another little guy with one penis. Twins. Alexia, you’re having twin boys.”
“Fuck me,” I say just before I puke my guts out.
Gram and I ride back home in stunned silence. I’d just experienced, hell I’m still experiencing the biggest surreal moment of my life.
Stewart clears his throat. “Is everything all right, Lizbet?”
“Two penises,” Gram whispers.
“Pardon?” he replies.
I never seen my grandmother so lost for words, so quiet, so not bugging the shit out of me. It makes me nervous.
“We’re having twins, Stewart. Two boys. Two penises,” I say proudly.
“Twins?” he asks in disbelief. “We’re having boys…two of them?”
“Yeah, two—twins.” I laugh because I’m happy and stunned and completely and utterly over my head.
One baby. Okay, I might be able to fake my way through that—but two? No, freakin’ way!
Holy hell! Two rapidly beating hearts, two bodies with everything in the right place and yes, two penises. Way sick, dude. Good sick not bad. I think?
What the hell I’m I going to do? And what about Jaxson? For sure he’ll be surprised, but will he be happy? Will he even believe that they’re his? I’d have my doubts, wouldn’t you? I mean one day you think you’re as sterile as a rock then…twins. Looks like you have a few swimmers doing the breaststroke after all, Mr. Ryan. Why is everything in my life so complicated?
Gram and I take it easy for the rest of the day. We’re in shock—post-traumatic stress. I’ve been watching her read her Kindle—no, watching her just stare at her Kindle for over an hour. She finally gives up and turns it off.
“Alexia, my dear, we need to talk.”
I turn off my Kindle. “Okay.”
“This turn of events has…is unexpected.”
“Gram, I know this puts major kinks into your plans but I’m still going to take over as CEO. I made a promise and I’m going to keep it. It won’t be easy, but lots of women have babies and work. I personally don’t know any, but I see them every day. They’re all around us—doing mom stuff. Oh my God. I don’t have a clue…about mom stuff. All I know is that it must be hard and overwhelming. The moms I see look like they haven’t slept in a decade. I can do this. I’ll need to download every parenting book known to man. Hell—you did it. It can’t be that hard. Who am I kidding? Fuck me. I can’t do this.”
“Christ, Alexia, you think way too much. You can do it. You’re smart—weird smart even. And it’s not like you’ll be on your own. Jaxson will be there and you can hire one hundred nannies if you need to. You’re lucky; most moms don’t get any help.”
“You’re right, I am lucky. But what if I can’t…what if I. Oh, hell Gram, I’m terrified. What if I can’t mentally handle it? I’ve had one breakdown—what if…?”
“Alisa Alexia Lizbet Marie Grant—buck the hell up. You’re not the same person you were five years ago—not even close. Before you went off on your little tangent—or whatever the hell that was. I was going to say that nothing else matters but my great grandsons. Not even Grant International.”
“Oh my God. I think hell just froze over. I never thought those words would ever pass through your lips.”
“I’m just as surprised as you are. I don’t know what is going on. I’ve been sitting here and I can’t even thing about anything else. All I know is that I have this overwhelming need to love and protect those babies. I never felt this with your dad or even you and Sam. I know that sounds terrible, but what can I say, it’s the truth. After I got over the two-penis thing—something wonderful and unexpected came over me. Maybe it’s my motherly instinct finally surfacing. Who the hell knows?”
“I think it’s a miracle. Holy Mother of God the second of the day, do miracles come in threes, like bad luck?”
“I hope the hell not. I don’t think I can handle any more today.”
“Gram what I’m I going to do? Things between Jaxson and me—well, they’re not good. He knows something is up. But he has no idea how big the something is. If he told me that he’s not Jaxson Ryan and has some other life. I’d be more than a little pissed.”
“Does he love you?”
“He says he does.”
“If he truly loves you then he’ll forgive you. Do you love him?”
“Yes. Hell Gram, I’m such a fool. I never told him. I’ve been too afraid to tell him.”
“Why?”
“I’m afraid that if I tell him, I’ll be giving him the power to hurt me.”
“Does your heart skip beats when you’re around him?”
“Yes. It all but stops.”
“Then, my dear, he already has the power.”
“You’re right, he does.”
“So this is what you’re going to do. You’re going to settle things with Zane. After that, you’re going to fly back to New York and tell Jaxson that’s there has been a miracle—or two. Then, you’re going to return to London and we’ll figure out our next step.”
“Well, you’re still as bossy and controlling as ever. I was praying for that third miracle.”
Two days later I make arrangements to meet Zane for dinner. I want things settled between us before I fly back to New York.
I sit and nurse a cup of herbal tea while watching several servers walking around with nothing to do. No more whiskey for this girlfriend.
I rented out the restaurant for a couple of hours, so we could have a public, yet private conversation. The paparazzi follow Zane around like the plague. So I told him to employ all methods of throwing them off. I haven’t been discovered yet; they think I’m living on some private island or some other bullshit Gram has spun.
Zane freakin’ Black. Where do I even start? I spent many years loving him, then hating him, and now I just don’t care. Our grandmothers are best friends, so as kids we were close. But kids grow up and things change. I hear a commotion and look toward the entrance of the restaurant. Two well-built men in black suits walk toward my table, followed by the man himself.
Jaxson is tall, dark and built like a swimmer. Zane is about three inches shorter, blond, and bulky. He looks like a Nordic God and unfortunately, acts like one.
The women servers giggle and bat their eyes when he gives them a wink. He approaches and I stand. He puts his arms around me and goes for a kiss on my lips but I give him my cheek.
“Beautiful” he says.
“Zane,“ I reply, then nod for him to take a seat.
We sit and just look at each other for a minute or two.
“Thank you for taking the time to see me,” I say with deep sarcasm. He really had no choice.
“Luv, I will always have time for you. It’s smashing to see you Alexia, I’ve missed you to bits.”
“Nice to see you too.”
Like the migraine from hell.
“Grandmum said you were flying in. I was hoping you would ring up.”
“Zane, I’m going to get right to it.”
“Okay.”
“First—thanks for your deceptive help.”
“Gram told you then?”
“Yeah, she told me. I should have known she was the one helping me.”
“So what does this mean—are you moving to London.” He looks worried. He knows something is up.
“I will be taking over Grant—location still unknown.”
“So you and this Ryan bloke?”
“My personal affairs—none of your business. And, thanks again for calling him. You’re such an assbag.”
A server walks over to our table. “Hi, my name is…”
I cut her off. “We won’t be staying for dinner.”
She lifts a brow. “Would…”
I cut her off again. I’ve played this game with so many of Zane’s admirers I know that it’s best to stop it before it even starts. I faux–smile.
“That will be all. Thank you.”
She looks at Zane again, waiting for his input. Zane shakes his head ‘no’ and she finally gets the hint and leaves.
“You didn’t have to be so cheeky.”
“Really?”
“You can play
restaurant
with her later. Right now you’re going to pay attention to me. I want a divorce.”
His mouth gapes open like a grouper. “You…you want a divorce?”
“Yes. I filed this afternoon. You will receive papers in a couple of days.”
“Seriously?”
“Very.”
“But…”
“Why do you seem so surprised? Did you think our arrangement would go on forever?”
“Well, I was hoping for a tad longer.”
“Time’s up Zane. I don’t even know why you care. No—I do know why you care and that will be ending, too. You’ll receive the premarital agreed settlement and nothing more. I’ve supported your lifestyle for seven years. No more.”
“You can’t just cut me off.”
“I already did.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means any accounts with my name have been closed.”
“But that’s all of them.”
“Precisely.”
“You can’t do this.”
“Zane, you won’t be living in the poorhouse, for hell’s sakes.”
“Says someone that has billions.”
“Whatever, Zane. This is not a negotiation.” I pull a file out of my bag and hand it to him. “Sign these and make an appointment to see Gram. She’ll be expecting your call within forty-eight hours.”
I stand and he grabs my arm. “Don’t you think we should talk about this?”
“What is there to talk about?”
“I was hoping we could, ya know… get together. You’re my beautiful lass. You’ll always be the one for me.”
“Do you hear your own bullshit? You fucked someone not even three weeks after our wedding. And all the others you paraded like it was…” I stop myself I’m done with this man.
“Come on love you know they don’t mean anything to me.”
Fuck. This man makes me mad. “What about Sara? She never meant anything to you.”
“Are you ever going to forgive me for that? It was all a stupid misunderstanding.”
“Stupid misunderstanding. You can’t be serious. One month after our wedding you fucked my supposed best friend in my house, and in my bed. Then after your little fuck-fest you let her walk out with my dress on, and meet me for lunch.”
“I didn’t know it was your frock.”
“A dress hanging in my closet—in my bedroom—in my house. Really?”
“She said you wouldn’t figure it out. That you never noticed things like that.”
“Well, I noticed. And you know what? I don’t really care. You’re not going to be my problem anymore.”
“All right…I’ve been a real trouser snake. But Lex, I’ve changed.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore. I gave you plenty of chances. You know why I didn’t cut you off sooner Zane? I didn’t want you around. I wanted you gone doing whatever the hell you do with whomever the hell you do it with. No more. You’ll get the agreed settlement and no more. Sign and make an appointment to see Gram. Don’t even think about trying to avoid her.”
“Luv, you can’t mean this, let’s talk about it.”
I put several bills on the table.
“It’s over Zane, so be a big boy and buck up.”
“Sign the papers or you’ll get nothing.”
I walk toward the exit.
“You, can’t make me,” he shouts.
I turn. “Yes I can. I know you, Zane. All you care about is money.”
“Bloody hell, it’s not all about money.”
“Bloody hell, it’s not. Sign them or get nothing,” I say as I walk out on the man and marriage that I should have dumped years ago.
Okay so now you know my other secret. I’m fucking married. I know what you thinking. I’m a real…!!! I agree—I’m all those things and more. But try not to be so harsh in your judgment. My marriage is a sham. It’s been nothing more than signatures on paper for many years. I was a fool. I fell in love with my best friend. I actually thought Zane loved
me
—silly, silly girl.
“Lane, it’s Alexia I’ve just landed at Teterboro.
“Okay, I’m about fifteen minutes away.”
“Drive to the executive terminal. I should be just outside of the hanger. If I’m not, look for a Gulfstream G650 with Grant International on it. You can’t miss it.”