Lay It Down: Bastards MC Series Boxed Set (42 page)

She laughed and smiled in that slow sexy way I adored; my dick hardened in response. “Well, thank you. But I’m dying it back to mundane brown tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m too old to pull this off. I need to find a part-time job and I’m pretty sure this won’t help. And Cris hates it.”

Her reasons surprised me. Jo’d never been one to care what other people thought. “You’re not too old—in fact, I think you rock it better than someone half your age could. It’s sexy as fuck on you. Any job where you can’t have your hair the color you want isn’t worth your time or energy. As for Cris, she really doesn’t like it?”

Jo shook her head.

“Wow. Seems like something she’d love. Didn’t she give you pink hair last year?”

“I know, right?” She giggled, rolling her eyes.

“Her opinion doesn’t matter either. It isn’t like you’re gonna see her all the time.”

The smile disappeared, and in seconds, my Joes was gone. She sighed, turning her head away from me, and I knew by the way her hands were fidgeting with the blanket that her mind was on overdrive.

“I will see her all the time, Matty, because I live here now. I quit my job, enrolled in a grad program, and Rocker offered me the extra room so I could save on rent.” Her words came out in a hurried whisper, and she glanced at me, wringing her hands. “I was going to tell you a few weeks ago, but I just didn’t know how and now…”

“I know, Joes.” She looked terrified, and I reached for her, wanting to do anything to take that fear away.

“Wait.” She narrowed her eyes, pulling back from my touch. “What? How’d you know?”

I smirked at her tone. She was like a tidal wave of emotion—from worried to pissed in point five seconds flat. “I have my sources.”

“And you’re not angry?” Her cold tone sent off warning bells.

I needed to figure out a way to backtrack. I didn’t answer right away; I wanted to be honest, but I didn’t want her to leave. “I’m irritated that you didn’t tell me. I mean, fuck, we’ve been talking for weeks and there were plenty of times you could have. So yeah, I’m pissed that you didn’t.”

She watched me, eyes wary, and I rushed to finish. “But I’m so fucking proud of you for getting accepted into BC. That’s a big fucking deal with some seriously tough competition. Good job, kid!” In that instant, I realized I would never get enough of her. I smiled and pulled on a few pieces of blue hair, vocalizing my thoughts. “It’ll be nice to see you more, and I figure if I come down on the weekends I don’t have Sam, we’ll get to do more than text. I fuckin’ miss you!”

Her entire body tensed, and she jerked back from me. She stared at me for a few seconds as if struggling to understand my words. Then she practically ran to the edge of the porch, gripped the railing hard, and took deep breaths.

“You are so fucking unbelievable!” she snapped as she turned back to me.

It was my turn to glare. I was unbelievable? She’d been completely dishonest with me for god knows how long, then I found her here, with Rob, and I was the unbelievable one? I didn’t fucking think so. I leaned back into the cushion, hands rubbing my thighs, trying to keep my temper in check.

“Yeah.” I’d conveniently forgotten this part of her—the one that made me want to throttle her and kiss her senseless at the same time. “Sometimes I tell myself that there’s no way in hell you are really as frustrating as I remember, that I must have made it up.” I forced a laugh. “Good to know I didn’t.”

As her eyes narrowed and she stood a little taller, I knew I was in for a fight. About fucking time.

“Oh, I’m frustrating? You know what I find frustrating? The fact that you are suddenly fine with the idea of me living not only in Boston but in your apartment, even though just a few months ago, you didn’t want me within a hundred-mile radius and wouldn’t even let me come with you.”

“Are fucking serious right now?”

“So let me get this straight. It’s okay for me to be here because I’m not your girlfriend, but when I was, it wasn’t safe enough for me?”

We stared at each other for a few minutes until I finally shook my head. “Oh, is it my turn to talk now?” The look she gave me left no doubt that she would have slapped me if I was close enough, and I almost couldn’t contain my laugh. “Why are you really mad right now, Joes? Is it ‘cause you expected me to be pissed over something stupid and I’m not? Or is it something else entirely? Like maybe the fact I never called you back? I’m having a hard time figuring it out.”

I’d never seen her look so frustrated, and I almost felt I should have been easier on her. Almost.

“Who the fuck is Jessie, Matt? Does she know you’re out here with me?”

Jesus, she was all over the fucking map tonight—the very definition of a hot mess. But she was my hot mess, and I’d rather have her fighting with me than shutting me out. And at least it seemed as though we were getting closer to the real issue.

“Jealous, sweetheart?” I couldn’t hold in my laugh when she growled in exasperation. “Don’t worry, she’s Rob’s mess, not mine.”

I realized after I said it that I was waiting for a reaction, half expecting her to show jealousy over the woman who shared Rocker’s bed. When the only thing that showed on her face was relief, I felt like an ass. But I was a thankful ass.

I loved the passion she had when we fought, but I needed to fix us right now so I could see the other side of that passion. “Just so you know, I never had a problem with you being
here
, Joes. In fact, if I remember correctly, we had one hell of a weekend in this apartment just a few months ago. Boston was never the fucking issue. Yeah, I told you I wanted you stay away, but I never meant I didn’t want you here. It was me.” I slapped my chest, hoping she’d understand. “You weren’t safe with me!”

You’re still not safe with me!
The thought made me sick, and I forced it out of my mind.

I walked toward her, never taking my eyes off hers, even though I was sure she could see right through me. “Will was out for blood as long as I was in the picture. I barely had a handle on my own shit and wasn’t about to drag you down with me. I told you that I’d do anything to protect you, and I fucking meant it. I still do. Don’t think, not for one fucking second, that I would let you stay here if it wasn’t safe.”

“Where I live is none of your business, Matty.” She tipped her head back to see me, her voice almost sad. “We’re just friends, remember?”

I stepped into her, completely invading her space, grabbed handfuls of hair, and tipped her head even farther back so I could lean my forehead against hers. “We’ve never been just friends, Joes,” I growled.

The lust in her eyes made me want to strip off her clothes and take her right there, not caring who saw. Instead, she pushed me away. “Stop it, Matty!”

I stepped back.

“Fine, we’re not just friends. But I’m not your girlfriend, remember? You don’t have to protect me anymore!”

I cupped her cheek, half surprised at how soft her skin was. “Yeah, I do.” I shrugged. “I’ll protect you until the day I die—from everything.”
Including me
. Needing to touch her again, I wrapped one arm around her back, yanked her into me, and leaned down to kiss her forehead. “You are mine, even if you don’t realize it. I’m not moving on, no matter how much you push. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

She didn’t say a word as she melted into me, letting me hold her as we stared at the city. This was where she belonged—in my arms, in my hometown, and sooner than later, in my bed. I didn’t know how long I’d have with her, especially if she was living here, but I was determined to enjoy every single second. I never knew when my past would come back to haunt me, but at least in Maine, I had kept it at bay. It was only a matter of time before someone here let something slip and Joes left me for good. I couldn’t explain, not even to myself, why I loved this woman so fucking much, but she was my entire world. I hadn’t been strong enough to let her walk away last time and knew it would be a fight next time too; all I could do was pray it didn’t kill me.

Chapter 9

Jo

The window opened noisily, but Matty didn’t move, and I wondered if he’d heard it. When the intruder cleared his throat, Matt only gripped me tighter, either ignoring the interruption or not caring. As long as I got to stand right there and have him hold me for a few minutes longer, I didn’t care why Matty wasn’t responding. I closed my eyes, focusing on the heartbeat under my ear and the fingers massaging my scalp. He leaned down and gave my forehead another lingering kiss. It was such a tender gesture, and nothing was clearer to me at that moment than the fact that I was completely in love with Matthew Murphy and would walk through fire for him.

I tipped my head back quickly, catching his lips before he could step back. His entire demeanor changed, and he shifted, moving his hands to cup my face. A calloused thumb drew circles on my cheek as he deepened the kiss. My mind wandered as I pictured his thumb touching other parts of my body. I groaned into him, hoping he would understand that I wanted so much more than what I was getting.

The throat cleared again, but this time he added, “Mateo, we need you.”

Matty pulled back slightly, sliding his nose along the side of mine. Staring into my eyes, he gave me a wink and whispered, “Two seconds, babe.” He straightened, letting go of me, and turned to face the man trespassing on our very awesome, but private, moment. “What the fuck do you want, Prospect?”

I cringed; his voice was full of irritation and extremely intimidating. This was a Matty I didn’t know, and he was quite scary.

The young man paled a little under Matt’s angry glare. “Sorry to interrupt, but I was sent to find you.”

“Why?” Matty barked.

The kid swallowed and looked at me as if I was the unwelcome visitor.

“Oh, for Christ’s sake! She’s with me. Spill it,” he growled.

“Wiz just got word there’s about to be a BOLO issued. Rocker wants everyone at the clubhouse. Now.”

Matty swore under his breath and glanced over his shoulder at me. “Tell them to give me twenty minutes.”

He jerked his head toward the window once, dismissing the young man, and turned back to me. Stress was etched on his features, and he looked as though he was struggling to figure out what to say. I didn’t know which of his friends was in trouble or what was going on, but I did know that whatever it was, it was important. We’d been sharing a pretty great moment, and Matty wouldn’t leave for anything trivial. When the muscle in his jaw ticked, I knew I had to lighten the mood.

“’Cause twenty minutes is all it’ll take, right?” I stepped toward him, smiling and repeating the words he’d said to me after our first night together.

He didn’t react for a second, confusion showing in his eyes as he looked at me. As realization dawned, his lips quirked with laughter. “Oh, babe, you do inflate my ego. Don’t kid yourself though. It’s been so long, I won’t even need five.”

“Really?” I asked in mock horror. “I thought guys were supposed to last longer after a dry spell?”

“Dry spell?” He scoffed. “Nah, two days is a damn dry spell. The last few months, I’ve been in a sexual purgatory.”

I giggled, stepping into his open arms. “Awww, Matty! That’s just depressing.”

He nodded. “No worries, kid.” He leaned down, whispering into my ear, “I’ll make sure that five minutes is worth the fuckin’ wait.” His breath was hot on my neck, sending tingles down my spine and making me shiver. Mistaking it, he rubbed my upper arms. “You’re cold. Let’s get you inside.”

I didn’t argue as he pulled me in the window, through the living room, then down the stairs. The party, while apparently still going, seemed a lot less crowded than it had been just a little while ago. Fewer men in leather jackets were scattered throughout the rooms and stairway, but the majority of people I saw were women. I couldn’t help the bitchy smile I sent toward a few of them when they gave Matty longing glances or the two of us double takes. I wanted to shout, “That’s right! He’s taken, girls. Move along!”

Once we were shut into his room, I pulled his jacket off my shoulders and held it out to him, trying to find something to say. Butterflies invaded my stomach, and I wasn’t sure if I was nervous because I was alone with him or if it was because he was leaving and I didn’t know why. I wanted to ask for details, but I wasn’t sure the answer would ease my nerves.

“Hey.” His voice was soft. “I’ve gotta take care of this, and then I’ll be back. It’s club business—nothin’ to worry about. I promise.” He tucked hair behind my ear, shifting. “I don’t know how long I’ll be, but can I come join you when I get back? We don’t have to…” He cleared his throat. “I mean, I just want to be with you. I don’t expect you to—”

“Rescue you from sexual purgatory?” I asked, amused at seeing him flustered. Tipping my head to the side, I ran my hands up under his jacket, feeling his tight, muscular frame. “I better be the only person here you plan on ending it with.” I chuckled at his uncomfortable expression. “I’ll be here when you get back, Matty, keeping the bed warm.”