Lauri Robinson (3 page)

Chapter Four

Ester waited until after Jesse had changed his clothes
and left for his after-school job at the feed store before she called up the
stairway. “Hannah, come down here, please.”

She had only a few days to show Brett what he’d be missing when
he left this time. Prove to him she had more to offer than Montana did.

“I left my test on the kitchen table,” the girl said, running
down the steps. “Didn’t you see it? I got a hundred percent.”

“I saw it,” Ester assured. “That’s wonderful. I’m proud of
you.” Licking her lips, she said, “I’d like you to go to the hotel and invite
Brett to have supper with us.”

“I already did,” Hannah said. “He can’t.”

“What do you mean, ‘He can’t’? How—when did you see him?”

“He was at the school when it let out. Said he’d see us after
supper. I told him he could eat with us, that you wouldn’t mind, but he said no,
he was already eating someplace tonight.”

“Who is he eating with?”

“I dunno. I didn’t ask.”

Lenore’s face flashed before Ester’s eyes, making her hands
ball into fists. The chicken she’d butchered this afternoon was already soaking
in buttermilk, waiting to be rolled in flour and fried, and a pan of corn bread
was ready to go in the oven, as soon as the apple pie was done baking. The fury
coiling around her spine had her wanting to shove the pie in the trollop’s face
and watch Brett choke on a chicken bone.

It took several deep breaths to chase the images far enough
away that she could speak without growling.

“I see,” she said. “Well, when he comes over tonight, we’ll
invite him to supper tomorrow night.”

“He’s not coming over tonight,” Hannah said.

“What do you mean? You just said you’d see him after
supper.”

“Uh-uh, Jesse and I are to meet him at the hotel.”

“I see,” Ester said again, actually seeing red.

“I gotta go do my chores now. Afterward I’m going to start
packing for the trip to Montana. All right?”

“Yes, that’s fine,” she answered, moving toward the
kitchen.

“Ester,” Hannah said. “Can’t you come to Montana with us? I’m
going to miss you an awful lot.”

Shaking her head at the pain circling her heart, she said, “I’m
going to miss you, too, but I can’t go to Montana.”

“Why not?”

Attempting to keep the tears in her eyes at bay, she pulled up
a smile that hurt. “Because my house is here. My business is here. My friends
and family are here.”

“Brett has a house. A big one. And you could sew clothes there
for people just like you do here.”

“No. Brett’s house is a long way from town.”

“He said its close enough for me to ride a horse to
school.”

“Well, it still wouldn’t work. You go on and do your chores
now.” Ester walked into the kitchen, but only made it as far as the table. There
she took a chair, let her aching heart consume her for a moment.

She wondered about digging out the newspaper clippings safely
hidden in her dresser drawer, showing them to Brett. Mrs. Wilson had given them
to her. They spoke of the untamed wilds of Montana, where blizzards trapped
entire communities and Indians still freely roamed, massacring families on a
whim.

The air she tried to breath lodged inside her lungs. This time
Brett not only was putting himself in danger, but was putting the children in
danger, too. Widow Wilson had said if Brett truly loved her, he wouldn’t expect
her to move out there, and Ester believed the woman’s words now more than she
had all those years ago.

Brett’s delay in returning home upon receiving her letter about
his parents proved the state was hazardous. He himself had said he couldn’t
leave the cows in the dead of winter. Why couldn’t he understand there weren’t
all those dangers here in Iowa?

A sob built inside her throat.

Cutter’s Corner was just lonely. And would be more so after
Jess and Hannah left.

* * *

Brett sat at Frank Hespers’s kitchen table, laughing
while reminiscing about childhood antics he hadn’t thought about for years.
Frank’s wife, Faith, a tiny and friendly copper-haired woman from down near the
Missouri border, had prepared a mess of fried chicken that tasted so good Brett
had practically made a pig of himself, and now she set a piece of apple pie
twice the size of his hand in front of him.

“Thank you, ma’am,” he said, hoping he wouldn’t sound rude.
“But I promised my brother and sister I’d meet them over at the hotel for pie
and ice cream, and I can’t disappoint them.”

“You sure?” Frank asked, already forking pie into a mouth
concealed amongst his red-tinted beard and mustache. “It’s good.”

“It sure looks good,” Brett answered. “But, I’m sure. Actually,
I better head out. I don’t want the kids waiting on me.”

“How long are you in town for?” Faith asked.

“Just until graduation,” he answered. “We’ll leave for Montana
the next day.”

“You’ll be here for the dance then. It’ll be in the town hall.
The night of graduation. I’m sure Jess won’t want to miss it.”

“Yeah,” Brett said, with a hint of guilt about taking the kids
away from the only home they’d ever known. “Jess doesn’t want to miss it.” His
siblings had never lived in Montana as he had, yet they seemed excited about
going. Unlike someone else. He picked up his hat. “Thanks again, ma’am. It was
the best fried chicken I ever ate.”

“Well, you can thank Ester for that,” Faith said. “She gave me
her recipe. The entire town knows it’s the best. The corn bread and pie, too.
She’s also in charge of the dance. I swear this entire town would fall right off
the map if she ever left.”

The best Brett could do was nod. Thoughts of Ester were already
stirring up his desires, but confirmation of how strongly she was tied to
Cutter’s Corner turned his spine cold. “I’ll see you,” he said to Frank, pulling
open the back door and making a quick exit.

Ester had always been involved in things, and he wasn’t
surprised to know she still was. Maybe someday he’d get used to it. Face the
fact the woman he loved, loved giving out recipes and planning church socials
and graduation dances more than she loved him.

When she’d told him it was her or Montana, he’d responded, “It
was him or Cutter’s Corner,” and her choice had gnawed at him for five years.
After reading her letter, while grieving, he’d thought about sending her money,
asking her to put Jesse and Hannah on a train to Montana, but he couldn’t. Not
only for their safety, but because he had to see her, if just once more. A
person just didn’t quit loving someone, but seeing her again had him questioning
everything.

It wasn’t simply Montana that drew him. It was doing what was
in his soul. The only jobs around here were in the coal mines, and he’d never
survive working underground day after day. He’d tried it, before his uncle had
passed. Whereas the ranch, the wide-open spaces—he felt whole there, alive,
except for Ester.

Jesse and Hannah arrived at the hotel shortly after he did, and
since Ester had made pie at home, of which she’d sent a piece to him, he and the
kids took a walk through town. Stopped at the little empty lot, the cemetery,
the schoolyard, and a few other places, making him realize it wasn’t the town he
hated, for it was full of good people. It was competing against it for Ester’s
love that galled him.

The kids asked, but he insisted he couldn’t join them for
supper the next couple of days. Yet when they begged him to be there on
Sunday—they were celebrating Ester’s birthday—he caved in and agreed.

Therefore, two days later, on Saturday afternoon, he was
standing at the counter in the mercantile trying to figure out what to buy Ester
for her birthday. He’d never been in this quandary before. In the past he’d
always known what she wanted, what she’d like. There were several wrapped
presents back at the ranch, things he’d bought her over the years. Whenever he’d
seen something he thought she’d like, he’d bought it, always with the hope that
someday they’d be together. That someday she’d love him enough to leave Cutter’s
Corner.

Today, the display of rings drew his attention, but he couldn’t
buy her one of those.

“Brett?”

The shiver racing over his shoulders landed on his neck with
the force of a well-pitched rock.

“I haven’t seen you at the hotel, yet I know you’re still
registered there,” Lenore said, reaching his side.

“I’ve been busy.”

“Doing what?”

“Getting ready to leave,” he answered. “I’ll be back later,
Fred.”

The owner nodded and Brett turned to leave, only to have Lenore
catch his arm with her hand.

“You don’t mind if I walk with you, do you?”

“Yeah, Lenore, I do. I’ve got things to do.” He tugged his arm,
but she held on with the strength of a snapping turtle. They were near the door,
and when they stepped out, onto the boardwalk, with him still trying to break
her hold, his heart dropped to his boots.

The look on Ester’s face wasn’t jealousy this time. Her blue
eyes were full of hurt as she spun around and started up the boardwalk.

“Damn it, Lenore, let loose,” he growled, wrenching his arm
from the woman’s hold.

Within a few steps, he was beside Ester and took her arm.

She tried to pull it away. “Will spending time in her bed
change your mind?”

“You know better than that,” he said, twisting her around to
look at him.

The hurt was still on her face. Stricken, and tired of fighting
with her, he leaned forward and gave her temple a little kiss. “You know I’ve
never even looked at another girl.”

She sniffled and bowed her head.

“Never, ever.” Taking her arm, he turned and led her farther
along the boardwalk. The need to really kiss her was too strong for him to keep
standing in the middle of town.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“Somewhere we can talk.”

They’d taken no more than five steps when she pulled her arm
from his hold, but just to wrap her hand around his elbow and hold on to it with
her other hand, as well. The glimmer was back in her eyes, the one that told him
she did love him, and she bumped his side as they walked.

Grinning, he bumped her back.

She bumped him again, and the past five years may as well never
have happened. It was like just one of the many times they’d walked from his
house to hers and back again.

“I’ve missed you,” he said.

“Not as much as I’ve missed you.”

The smile on her face had him wondering if she was finally
ready to admit how much she did love him. He’d never quite believed Cutter’s
Corner was why she’d refused to leave with him years ago. Her explanation had
been little more than to say if he loved her, he wouldn’t go. He did love her.
Even more now, and he’d realized that the moment he’d seen her. He just had to
figure out what was holding her back.

He winked at her, and with a cute little giggle, she increased
their speed. By the time they entered her yard, they were almost running.

Opening the front door, he had every intention of leading her
into the kitchen, where the furniture was hard and not suitable for what he
truly wanted to do, but the perfect place to talk. However, as soon as the door
shut behind them, he couldn’t help but steal a kiss.

Just one.

Which led to another.

Brett attempted to stop, to pull his lips from hers for longer
than the time it took to catch air, but at first it was impossible. Then, when
he did, so he could fill his lungs fully, Ester went right on kissing him. Soon
his shirt was completely unbuttoned, and she ran little kisses down, and nibbled
the skin of, his neck, collarbone and chest. The sensations had fire throbbing
through him like he’d never known.

“I love kissing you, Brett,” she whispered. Her hands were
beneath his shirt and she trailed her fingernails down his bare back. “But I
need more.” Between kisses that had him tightening muscles to stay standing, she
continued, “I’m aching harder than I ever did before.”

He took her face between both hands, lifted it to kiss her
mouth. “I know, darling, me, too.”

“I know you have to leave again, go back to Montana, but…” Her
long lashes fluttered shut for a moment. When they opened, she said, “I love
you, Brett. I always have, and knowing you were in town the past few days, and
not seeing you…” She shook her head slightly. “I can’t go on living without you.
I think I forgot what living was the past five years.”

His breath had locked in his lungs, probably because his heart
was in his throat, blocking any air movement. The past few days, making up
excuses not to see her, had been hell. Pure and simple hell. Worse in some ways
than the past five years. “What are you saying, Ester?”

Chapter Five

If anything, standing there, looking into his face—the
handsome, handsome face she forever wanted to look upon every day—had the
desires boiling inside her hotter than ever. Her breasts ached for his touch,
for his lips to kiss them as they had the other day. Actually, all of her wanted
him—all of him—forever, yet she had to be honest. “I—I want us to come up with a
compromise. I don’t know what that is, but I want to try.
Something—anything.”

His thumbs caressed her cheeks as he bent forward, kissed her
in the way she loved, with his tongue twirling with hers until the fiery
intensity inside her swirled so fast she grew weak with longing.

“I know Jess is at work,” he said, “but where’s Hannah?”

Ester could barely think. His hands had moved to her breasts,
and the delight had her leaning her head back to arch her body forward and fully
experience every touch. “At a friend’s. She’ll be home at suppertime.”

With a swiftness that startled her, Brett scooped her into his
arms, and when he spun, headed toward the stairway, the excitement rippling
through her had Ester twisting to hold on even tighter and nibble on the side of
his neck. She wanted to tell him how happy she was, how long she’d yearned for
this, but a piece of her was afraid if she spoke he might change his mind again.
For she hadn’t said she’d go with him; she hadn’t made that decision, yet. It
was in her mind. As dreadful as losing him was, living without him was more
frightful. She understood that fully now.

In her room, Brett kissed her the entire time he was setting
her down on the bed, and another thought, one she couldn’t keep in, occurred.
They’d kissed for years, but little more. Whenever she’d wanted to go further,
he’d been the one who kept things chaste.

“Brett,” she whispered, unwinding her arms to scoot along the
edge of the bed, making room for him. “I’m a bit nervous.”

“There’s nothing to be nervous about, sweetheart,” he said,
kneeling down to untie her shoes.

He took off her socks next, and then, when she stood and tried
to assist in removing her clothes, he brushed her hands aside. She closed her
eyes, basked in the pleasure of his hands and the thrill of revealing herself to
him.

When at last, after he’d slowly, leisurely, divested her of
every article—which had been as heavenly as it was torturous—she stood before
him as bare as the day she’d been born. There was no shyness, not with the way
his brown eyes cherished what they saw.

“You’re so beautiful, Ester,” he said, running his fingertips
down the lengths of her arms in such a way her skin blazed with delight and
anticipation.

“I’m glad you think so,” she said, pushing his shirt off his
shoulders. “But, I’m feeling a little lonely.”

He laughed, and she suddenly realized how much she’d missed
that sound. It was like a melody, one that had her giggling along in tune.
Shrugging out of his sleeves, he tossed the shirt aside, then scooped her up
again and laid her on the bed.

Stretched out beside her, he kissed her until every part of her
body throbbed with excitement. A whimper formed deep in her throat as his hands,
gentle and undemanding glided over her skin. “Brett…” She really had no idea
what she wanted to say. Maybe she just wanted to make sure it was him. That this
wasn’t a dream.

“Aw, Ester, I’ve waited so many years for this,” he said,
kissing his way down her neck.

Satisfied it was real, and him, she sighed. “Me, too, Brett, me
too.”

The moist warmth of his mouth, taking over where his thumb had
been teasing one of her nipples, had her moaning aloud in a way she’d never
known she could, and from that moment on, things just kept getting better and
better.

The need inside her was primal, and her reactions instinctive.
At one moment her hands buried themselves in his hair; at other moments, they
held him to her. In an instant they’d fly over her head to grasp the rungs of
the headboard in response to another utterly fascinating caress or kiss Brett
pressed upon her body.

Her hands were there now, grasping the headboard against the
building restlessness that had her hips arching upward. Brett had spread her
legs, teased her womanhood with his fingers, before his mouth had settled there.
He kissed it briefly, softly, several times. Then he tasted her with his tongue
and Ester squeezed the rungs on the headboard harder as she entered an unearthly
delirium.

At first she thought it was the ultimate, the most pleasure a
person could experience, but as Brett continued, slid his hands beneath her to
hold her tightly while tasting her fully and deeply, her breath rattled in her
lungs and the wild impatience inside her became keener, more focused.

Every part of her being was there, where they were joined, and
her hips were thrusting, driving her forward as a dazzling energy grew. It was
as if she were traveling inwardly to a mysterious destination and was almost
there. A part of her strained against arrival. That part had her head tossing
upon the pillow, her heels pressing into the mattress and Brett’s name rolling
around in her throat.

But he kept her traveling, a reeling, captivating journey that
had her shouting his name. Just as she thought the commotion was too much, she
could take no more, an explosion of sorts happened, right there in the very core
he held, kissed. The fulfillment was astonishing, and burst throughout her body
as if it had entered her bloodstream. Her heart hammered, her breasts tingled
and her legs, from thigh to ankles, stiffened as her fingernails, hands still
wrapped around the headboard rungs, dug into her palms.

Moments later she was sinking into the mattress with such
tranquility she wondered if her very bones had dissolved. She barely had the
energy to moan as her arms fell to her sides.

When she opened her eyes, Brett was there, stretched out beside
her. She lifted a languid hand, pressed it to his cheek, and spent, whispered,
“Oh, my.”

He chuckled and slipped an arm beneath her neck, easing her
head onto his shoulder. She lay there dizzy, spent and sated beyond reality for
some time before her senses returned, at which point she said, “You’re still
wearing your pants, so I have to wonder what we did wrong.”

Brett laughed and kissed her sweetly. “We didn’t do anything
wrong.” Running a hand along her arm, and then down her side, he continued, “I
thought it was quite perfect.”

Giggling, she admitted, “It was.”

“I was compromising.”

Luxuriating in his closeness, his touch, Ester drew a deep
breath, nuzzling the chest that smelled so very wonderful. “Compromising?” she
asked as a touch of confusion tickled her brain.

He tipped her head up with one hand so she had to look at him.
“Yes, when we start talking, start looking for a compromise between us, I want
you thinking with your mind, not your body.”

Still floating on the little imaginary cloud he’d sent her to,
she said, “Well, then, you failed, because I don’t imagine I’ll ever be able to
think straight again.” Feeling renewed, and growing a touch serious, she scooted
up and propped one forearm on his chest so their faces were chin to chin. “We
have to figure this out, Brett. I can’t go on living without you.”

One of his hands was rubbing her back. The other caressed her
cheek. “You know I wanted you to come with me five years ago, and I still
do.”

Her gaze went to her dresser drawer. The thought of losing him
permanently, as Widow Wilson had her husband, made her throat burn. Yet, the
thought of him leaving again did the same thing, and the pain of seeing him with
Lenore—of imagining him doing what he’d just done to her?

The tears came then.

“Shhh,” he said, sweetly. “We’ll work it out.”

“How?” she sobbed.

Brett wasn’t sure how. He could see that her fear was real.
Just as it had been years ago. Seeing it in her eyes had been the only thing
that kept him from hoisting her over his shoulder and hauling her to the train
with him five years ago. He couldn’t do that now either, but she was willing to
talk about a compromise, and he had to come up with one they both could live
with, together, forever.

“When I saw you with Len—”

“Stop,” he said, pressing a fast kiss against her lips. “You
know I love you. Always have.” Another woman was the least of his concerns. “I
wasn’t
with
Lenore. I’ve never been
with
another woman. Just you.”

Wiping at her tears, she nodded.

“What are you so afraid of, Ester?”

Honesty made the sadness in her eyes more profound. “Of losing
you.”

Shifting, kissing the side of her face as it settled upon his
shoulder again, he folded his arms around her warm body. “That’s my fear, too,”
he admitted, holding her close. “Of losing you.” Loving her was as much a part
of him as Montana was, and deciphering what that meant, had always meant, was
something he could no longer avoid.

They stayed there, simply holding one another, for a long time,
until the sensations stirring inside him demanded he either get up or pleasure
her again, and this time he wouldn’t be satisfied without full participation.
“We better get dressed and go downstairs. Hannah will be home soon.”

Ester nodded as she rubbed a hand along his side. “Will you
stay for supper?”

“Yes,” he said. “I’ll stay for supper.”

She wiggled off him, and it was all he could do not to pull her
back. As she gathered her clothing and laid it on the bed, she asked, “Where
have you been eating?”

He plucked his shirt off the floor and stood to shrug into it.
“I’m afraid I may have become a nuisance at Frank Hespers’s house.”

“His wife, Faith, is so nice. She wouldn’t have minded feeding
you.”

He’d kept his gaze averted, knowing if he watched her dressing
he’d be inclined to start taking her clothes right off again. When she was
buttoning the top of her dress, he figured it was safe to help. Pushing her
hands aside, he said, “Yes, she is very nice, and never made me feel unwelcome.”
He kissed the top of her head, trying to forget how Faith had said the town
would fold without Ester. “I knew I couldn’t eat here. That would make me not
want to leave, and I wasn’t about to have Lenore serve me after you about pulled
her hair out.”

“That was awful of me.” Looping her arms around his neck, she
continued, “But I was so jealous of her. Still am. And I’ll fight her any
day.”

Brett had to admit her possessiveness stroked his ego, yet he’d
never want to see her hurt. “You have no reason to be jealous of her.” He then
pulled her close for a deep and thorough kiss just to confirm his words.

They’d only been downstairs about ten minutes when Hannah
arrived home and a few minutes later Jesse. Like a family, knowing what needed
to be done, everyone pitched in. The table was set and supper was cooking in no
time, and the conversation as they ate was playful, teasing and fun.

Watching Ester, seeing the twinkle in her eyes, the gaiety on
her face and the seductive little grin she flashed at him more than once, Brett
was once again transported in time. It could easily have been the past, when
they were young and shared meals with both her family and his, or it could have
been the future, where new memories would be made. Either way, it was right
where he wanted to be, and as he followed Jesse out to the barn to help with
evening chores, Brett had to question if Montana was where he belonged.

Later that night, after Jesse and Hannah had gone to bed, and
he sat with Ester on the sofa in the parlor, with only one lamp burning low,
talking was the last thing on either of their minds. Kissing her, exploring the
curves and crevices of her body through her clothes—for he kept the fact either
of his siblings could come down the stairs at any moment forefront in his
mind—Brett wondered what she’d say if he told her he’d stay. Forever, right here
in her little house on the edge of town.

He didn’t say it. A part of him just couldn’t, and he pondered
why as he took his leave, walked the dark and quiet road to the center of town
and his hotel room. He loved her beyond all else, and maybe that was why. He
wanted to know she loved him beyond all else, too. For deep down that’s who he
was, an all-or-nothing kind of person.

Sleep was a long time coming, and he woke as the sun crested
the horizon. After a quick breakfast, he set out across town, to the cemetery
and the empty lot, searching for answers he couldn’t find on his own.