She moans my name, her eyes fixated out the window as she holds on to the back of the table. I look to see what she is staring at and across the way, there is a guy watching us. He’s dressed in a suit, but I can see that his hand is clearly jerking himself off.
“You like letting people watch you get fucked?” I ask her, splaying my hand across her chest as I hold her down, fucking her as hard as I can.
There’s a knock on my door and I ignore it knowing that my next appointment isn’t for a while. I keep fucking Jessy, grunting, giving her all of me, wanting her to come harder than she ever has before. Then the knock gets louder and I freeze when I hear Abby’s voice yell my name from outside.
“Don’t stop! Make me come!” Jessy screams, looking at the guy across the way.
My insides are a nervous wreck as I walk up to his home. I’m not even sure what I am doing here. But as I hold the pregnancy test in my hand, I know that he needs to know. After the doctor told me I was expecting, I didn’t believe him and took a few tests at home, just to confirm. Or maybe internally I was hoping that they were wrong. But all the tests were positive, and now, here I stand about to tell Latch. He has every right to know; it is his child, after all.
Looking down at the plus sign on the test in my hand, I push forward, knocking on his door. It sounds like he is inside, so I knock again, needing to tell him about this, “Latch!” I call out and then clear as day, I hear a woman yell, “Don’t stop! Make me come!”
Betrayal rains down on me. He told me that he never meets with clients at his home, so whoever he is with has to be more than that. I knew I wasn’t the only one. The test falls from my grasp and I turn to walk away, barely able to stand. Coming here unannounced was foolish. Holding myself up on the railing, I force myself to move, feeling so fuckin’ dumb. Did I really think that I was special? And why would he want to raise a child anyway? Just look at his life.
“Abby!” he shouts and I look back as he steps out of his apartment naked. I shake my head, looking down at his cock with the condom still on it. He covers himself up and walks towards me, pain etched across his face. He steps on the test. His eyes look down to see what it is and he picks it up. Then he turns white as a ghost and I walk away from him.
“Is it mine?” he asks in his deep, calm voice.
Everything inside of me ignites, his comment pisses me off, and I turn around flipping him off, “Go fuck yourself, Latch!”
“Abby?” he shouts and I look for a cab, tears blaze in my eyes making my vision blurry.
There are none in sight so I just start to walk; I’ll walk forever right now. I’m fucked! It’s unreal that this is what my life has turned into. From being married to Major League Baseball’s MVP to now being knocked up by New York City’s biggest manwhore!
Thinking of it all makes me laugh. Why was I dealt such a shitty fucking hand of cards? I wipe my eyes clear and forge forward. “Stop, Abby,” he calls from behind me and I turn to see him jogging towards me in just a pair of jeans, no shirt, and I release venom upon him.
“No, you stop!” I scream, my heart racing as all the blood rushes to my face. “Coming here was a huge fucking mistake, Latch. I mean, how many girls are there that you treat just like me?”
He steps to me and touches the sides of my arms, pain is pouring from his eyes, and I push him away. “Don’t you fucking touch me ever again!” The tears flow and he puts his hands up.
“There are no others that have what we have. It’s only you, Abby.”
I wipe the snot away from my nose and look at him. “Don’t lie to me, motherfucker!” I push him backwards; he holds himself defenseless and defeated as he looks at me. “You clearly care nothing for me; I don’t know what I was expecting.” I walk away from him, my heart breaking with every step. Then a cab pulls up, saving me from this heartbreak, and I hail it, sliding in as fast as I can, but as I try to close the door, he rips it open.
“You’re not running from me again, Abby.” He gets in behind me and I look down at his bare feet, shocked.
“Where to?” the driver asks.
“Just drive!” Latch growls.
I try to get out the other side of the car, but it’s already moving. Latch pulls me back across the seat, close to him, and as tenderly as possible in this crazy ass moment, he places his hand over my stomach. I freeze looking down, his long fingers are spread wide over the thin fabric of my white t-shirt and tears well in my eyes.
I can’t bring myself to look at him. His possessive hand touching me is all I can focus on. And then the cab is filled with the soft noises of his sobs and he leans over, lifting my shirt and pressing his lips to the skin of my stomach. Letting out a pent up gasp of air, I stare up at the ceiling, my heart breaking with him touching me like this – crying.
He whispers something inaudible to my skin and rests his head on my thigh. I look down at his tattooed back and can’t believe how much I’ve fucking missed him. Even with who he is and just finding him with someone else, I can’t be mad at him. Threading my fingers into the back of his hair, I pull him closer to me, holding him against my stomach, where both of us sit, together, sobbing.
I don’t know what is next. Hell, I’m terrified for what the future will hold thinking of all of the obstacles that I’ll have to face, but being with Latch right now calms me in a way that no other man ever has, and I know that no matter what I face, if I have Latch to protect me, I’ll be okay. And so will our baby.
“Why are we here?” I ask Latch as we enter a lavish Crown Height’s home.
“I’ll explain, but you have to promise to let me this time. No running!”
I nod my head, still confused why we couldn’t have just gone back to his place. I know he was there with someone, but I assume she left.
God, I hope she did.
He directs me to sit down on an oversized vintage purple suede couch and then sits next to me. He’s still shirtless and barefoot, and there is so much uncertainty in his eyes that I fear what he is going to tell me.
“This is my grandmother’s home. She’s out of town.”
“Why couldn’t we just go back to your apartment?” I ask him.
He looks nervous and swallows before proceeding. “I…” he trails off. His reluctance to be open with me makes me uneasy.
“Latch, you said you’d explain –so, explain!”
He takes my hand in his and looks me in the eye, “Abby, I don’t know how to do any of this. I’ve never had a real relationship. And when I’m around you, the feelings that are inside of me scare me.”
“You make me feel the same, Latch,” I whisper, worried where things are headed.
“Part of the reason I kept you as a client for as long as I did is it’s the only way that I know to have a relationship. It was my way of being with you in a way that worked for me and seemed to for you as well. Then when I saw you with your husband, it fucked me up. I want to be the one to give you that happiness and it killed me that I am not.”
I swallow hearing his words, confused by what he’s referring to. “I’m sorry things have turned out like this between us.”
“Me too. I know you’ve chosen him, and he probably deserves you over me. He’s a better man than—”
I cut him off, “What are you talking about? I haven’t chosen anyone.”
He blinks a few times, confused, and then says, “I saw you two leave your condo together. He had his hands on you and…you looked so happy. Abby, that expression on your face was something I’ve never seen from you and that’s how I know he’s the one you’re supposed—”
“Will you just fucking stop it, Latch?” He blinks and lets go of my hand. I take his back, holding it tighter than ever, “That’s because when I’m with Darrell, I’m pretending to be happy – it’s only me being fake. But when I’m with you, I’m able to be myself. That’s why you’ve never seen me look that way. I’m only real when we’re together. The truth is, we don’t know what the future will bring us, like this…” I point to my stomach and he places a hand over it. “But what I do know is that this baby, our baby, is the most important thing to me right now, and that means we need to figure out what we’re going to do. I haven’t slept with Darrell since you and I started seeing each other, so if he finds out I’m pregnant, he’ll know it’s not his. Going forward, everything we do has to be for the sake of the baby, whether we are together or not. It didn’t ask to be born into our fucked up lives, so we have to take responsibility for our actions.”
He smiles for the first time today and cups my cheek with his free hand. “Abby, I don’t know what to say! I don’t want to say the wrong things and scare you off.”
“You can start by telling me who that girl was today. You said you don’t take clients to your home.”
“After I thought you’d chosen Darrell, it hurt like hell every time I thought of you, or looked at the couch we fucked on the last time we were together, so I had my clients start coming to my house. It kept my mind busy, and briefly numbed the pain. I thought it would make me forget. But every time I was alone, you were on my mind, like you always are.”
“And that’s why we’re here…” I look around his grandma’s home.
“Yeah, I have other clients that were scheduled today.”
“So what? You’re just going to hide from them forever?”
He nods dead serious, still holding on to the side of my head. I close my eyes and pray that somehow and some way we can make this work. I’m not sure why I think it’s a good idea, but being with him again makes everything in this fucked up world feel like it’s going to be okay.
Waking up in a panic because I dreamt that Abby left again has my heart racing. But as I look down, she is sound asleep on my lap. I run my knuckles down the sides of her cheek and hope that she will never leave me again. I’m not sure where we stand, but I want to be with her more than anything I’ve ever wanted. Getting up, I gently lay her head on a pillow and get up to grab my grandmother’s phone. I step outside to call her and she answers on the first ring, “Hello?”
“It’s me.”
“You okay, dear? I can see you’re at my house.”
“Yeah, I…uhhh. I’m here with Abby and we might need to stay here for a few nights, just until you’re home, if that’s okay?”
“Of course it’s okay, sweetheart, stay as long as you need.”
“Thanks.”
“What’s going on though? I thought she’d chosen to work things out with her husband.”
“I thought so too, but she didn’t, and she’s kinda pregnant.”
She gasps. “She’s kinda or is?” she asks me sternly.
“She is.”
“It’s yours?”
“Yes, it’s mine!”
“Oh dear, Latch. How do you feel about it?”
“I’m not sure.” I look inside, watching her sleeping on the couch. “I’m worried.”
“I can imagine. What about your work, is she okay with it now?”
“We haven’t talked a lot about it, but I’m gonna stop.”
“And that’s what you want?” she asks me and I hear an announcement in the background.
“It is.”
“Okay. I support whatever you decide. I’ve gotta board the boat, we’re heading out of port so I won’t have service for a few days, but I’ll check on you when I do. Make yourselves at home, and congratulations, dear, this is a good thing. I love you.”
“Thank you, I love you.”