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Authors: Chris Northern

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Get some.” He didn't say anything. I was desperate for a drink. “Dammit, get me a beer.”


No.” He got up and left, heading for the kitchen. “He's awake.”

Jocasta stuck her head through the door, took in my state and disappeared again.

After a moment I gathered myself and followed. I was surprised to see Dubaku sitting at the kitchen table. “How did you survive?”


My ancestors hid me, shielded me from view. I walked away.”


Could they do that for me?”


Ask your own ancestors.”


After I get a drink. Does anyone have any money?”

Sapphire closed the door and put his back against it. The message was clear. You are going nowhere.


The exit is that way,” I pointed to the door into the alley. He didn't say anything, but a moment later Jocasta was there, her mouth a thin line, eyes holding some expression I couldn't be bothered to figure out.


Look, I told you.” I had, I remembered. “They gave me a drug. Not addictive in itself but it makes me vulnerable to addiction, and believe me when I say I need a drink; not want, I do not want a drink; I need one. I know I told you this.” I was shaking and ashamed to notice that my voice broke. They exchanged a glance and I took the moment to unobtrusively grab the back of a chair. I was a little unsteady on my feet. Weak and shaky.


You weren't very coherent,” Jocasta's voice was cool. “You could have been saying anything.”

I sighed, got control of my anger. “I'll recap later. For now, just get me something to drink, or I won't be fit for anything.”

Dubaku got up and crossed the kitchen. Sapphire moved for him and he left the room, returning moments later. He put a beer in front of me without a word. I grabbed it and took a pull. Made a face. Swallowed. Took another. Better.


What are you doing?” Jocasta protested, stepping to the table.


We are going to have to help him if he is telling the truth,” Dubaku said.


I never lie. Too lazy,” I said. I kept the beer in my hand, protectively, sipping at it.


You don't kill a fire by adding fuel.” She tried to take my drink and I slapped her hand away.


Get off! I need this. If I'd known you were going to argue about it I would have stayed there.”

Everyone was silent for a moment. Well, Sapphire, leaning against the kitchen door, hadn't said a word the whole time. Just watched.


You're joking,” Jocasta said, her voice uncertain.


Yes, I am, but not by much, believe me. The addiction is strong. I need booze. It's going to happen and it might be better if we didn't have to fight over it the whole time.”


How much?”


As little as I can manage.”

Everyone fell silent, watching me drink. I changed the subject. “They took the loupe, and the stone you sent me. I'm sorry.”

She dismissed the matter with an irritated wave of her hand. “It doesn't matter. I can make another loupe.”


You can?”


Yes,” she said icily, “I can”


That's...” there was only one word. “Impressive.”

She thought I didn't believe her. Looking around angrily she spied a small glass, took one step and snatched it up. It was a moment only, an invisible flash, like sheet lightning on a summer's day. The stone, brilliant blue and the size of a quail's egg, was in her hand again. She tossed the glass to me and I fumbled it. The crack of it breaking sounded loud in the silent room.


It's not important. I can make another.”


How did you learn?”


One of my ancestors made a tunnel from our house to the college of battle mages. I found it when I was a girl and sneaked in. I was curious. It led to an unused study. That's where I found the loupe. There were other things. I learned. Later, I found ways into other colleges. The more I learned the more I wanted it.”


And the stone?” I gestured to the massive stone she still held.


I stole it from my family so that I could come and get you.”


Thank you.” It seemed inadequate. Clearly she felt so too.

I sighed. “Much as I hate to contradict you, it is important; the loupe, I mean. He has it, and twenty stones up to ten carats, and they are learning from the battle mages.”

She frowned, her brows furrowed. “The mages are teaching them? Willingly?”


As willingly as I would have,” I said dryly.

I briefly put my face in my beer. No one seemed to want to move the conversation along so I did. “They tortured them. Some cracked early, one or two have embraced their ideas. Some I don't know about for sure. I lost track of them. But I don't doubt they will all break one way or another, some time or another. These are very persuasive men.”


And you?” She asked.


Apparently I'm not very persuasive at all.”


That's not what I meant.”


I know that's not what you meant. Stop talking to me like I'm a fool and stop thinking like one. Of course they tortured me but we don't have to talk about it. It didn't work. This would have,” I raised the glass. “Or something worse. All they had to do was slip some opiate into my food once and I would have been hooked. I think this is better, I'm used to controlling it.”


They tortured you?” Her eyes were wide, horrified.


No, they gave me a big hug and said I was such a nice chap they'd decided to supply me with beer instead. Can we drop this?” I stuck my face in the drink and drained it, slamming it down on the table. “More.”


No.” Sapphire raised a hand to forestall Dubaku, who had started to rise. “You said you can control it.”


I can but I'm a little upset at the moment! Later it will be easier. I've been drinking a lot. I lost focus. Now I'm back. There are things to do. But for now, another one would help.”

Dubaku had got to his feet anyway, as though he had some other reason to move. Sapphire nodded and moved away from the door to let him out and back, then leaned against it again. I'd taken the opportunity to make myself comfortable and when there was drink in front of me I focused my attention on it, deciding how slowly I thought I could drink it, wondering how well I could control the craving for more. I sighed and my stomach chose then to growl. I ignored it as I sipped the beer, careful to take just a sip. I felt on safer ground now. Less emotional.


When did you eat last?” she said.


I don't know. Days. Ten. More. When was the battle?”

She and Sapphire exchanged glances. “Eighteen days ago.”


That would be it then. More or less. Who remembers?” I glanced down at my flat belly. “One way to lose weight, I guess.”


Gods,” she whispered. “I'll fix you something.”


Not too much. I doubt I could eat much.”

Jocasta busied herself about the kitchen, warming a stew and a loaf of bread by the oven.


Sheo, Kerral, Yebratt, Larner, Hettar, Lentro, Gatren, Ferrian, and Ormal,” I named them all. Sheo is lost to us. Ferrian is crazy, a fanatic. Ormal is afraid but obedient.” I paused. “Gatren I'm not sure about. I was told he had gone over, but I have no sure proof; either way he is not to be trusted.” I had started thinking about the others and took a drink. “The rest I don't know. Alive or dead. If alive they belong to him.”


Who?”

I blinked stupidly. It hadn't occurred to me they didn't know. “Kukran Epthel.”

They looked at each other, then at me. I looked back. “Never mind. He's from the north.” Of all the things I could have said about him that was the most banal. What did it matter where he was from?


You're sure?” Sapphire sounded interested.


Of that? No, not really. That's he's a lich, of that I'm sure. And a priest of some kind.”


A necromancer?” He asked.

I looked at him, held his eyes. “You knew?” It really wasn't a question.

He didn't say anything. Just looked back at me, steady as iron.

So, he'd known. I let it go. “How did you survive?”


I left the fort.”


Why?”


I had no reason to be there.”


So, got a letter for me that covers this?”

He shook his head once, expressionless.

Jocasta had turned away from her cooking and was watching us. “I'm missing something. What is it it between you two and why didn't you tell me about it?” This last was addressed to Sapphire.

I sipped my beer. It was beginning to work. I felt better. Sapphire hadn't said anything, so I did. “He works for my father. A spy, assassin, whatever. He's good with a sword. And I don't mean just better than average. He has orders. One of them is not to tell me anything about what he is doing or why, but I can guess some of it. Did anyone else survive?”

Jocasta shook her head and looked at Sapphire for an answer.


No.”

I thought about that for a while. It was what I had been expecting but it still stung. Faces started to float into my mind, faces and names, and memories. I'd liked some of these people, hoped to know them for a long time. Imagined them rising with me and being reliable allies through to my later years. Yebratt Shaheel. Rastrian Bacht. Pakat, Geheran, Luk and Gobin, who were my first command. I had failed them and I knew it. The beer didn't help but I sipped it anyway, drink enough of it and the memories would go away but I didn't want that, I needed to face everything that needed dealing with. Now there would be no rise to power. I had failed spectacularly. No money, no scrip, and the news of my failure would have reached the city a day or two after the battle. No one would follow me, or back me, or loan money to me in the expectation that I would win battles. I would be prosecuted for raising troops without authority, now that Tulian was dead. There would be no happy homecoming for me, no triumphant return. The future looked bleak, even if I succeeded in getting out of here, even if I made it home.

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