Lasting Damage (5 page)

“Probably
just a little.” Jane agreed. “But don’t you wonder what kind of man would enter
a tiny penis competition?”

“One
who is either extremely secure with his masculinity or has exemplary oral
skills.” She raises an eyebrow as she made an attempt at pulling herself back
together. “Or a wife with a really sick sense of humor.”

“Having
superior pussy eating skills would totally make up for having a microscopic
wang.” Jane shrugged and took another sip of her drink. “My bet’s on the wife
being sick and twisted.”

“So
tiny penis contest aside,” she paused to examine her scary looking drink
sitting just to the right of her plate waiting to be tasted. “Exactly what is
in this?”

“Beer,
lemon juice, a dash of Tabasco and Worchester sauce and Clamato.” Jane told
her. “It’s not half bad if you like that sort of thing. It's like a really
funky Bloody Mary.”

Harper
stammered as she said the word, “Clamato?”

“Clam
juice. It’s actually better if you add the shot of tequila but you drank it
before I had a chance to tell you.” Jane grabbed a stuffed chili off the
platter and carefully set it on her plate.

“Should
I order another one?” Harper picked up her drink and put it back down and the
table without missing a beat.

 “It
might help the taste.” Jane put her fork down and folded her hands in her lap. “Are
you planning on having sex with me?”

Harper
resisted the urge to take a swift slug of her drink before she had to answer
Jane’s question. She picked the glass and stared at it. “Eventually,” she said
before setting her untouched drink back down on the table.

Jane
gave her an amused smile. “Eventually?”

“What’s
wrong with wanting to get to know you first?” Harper stabbed her fork into a
mini empanada and deposited it on the plate. “I know it’s old fashioned, but
it’s what I do when I really like someone.”

“What
if I’m not into old fashioned things?” Jane bit her lip, she looked like she
was waiting for Harper to say just the right combination of words.

Or
the wrong combination of words.

“Then
you and I might be at an impasse.” Harper didn’t have a lot of moral fortitude,
and the ‘waiting for sex’ thing wasn’t as true as she wanted to think it was but,
at that moment it felt important to her.

“So,
no casual fucking for you.” She sliced the chili with her fork, stabbed a hunk
and popped it in her mouth.

“You
certainly have a way with words.”

Jane
laughed.

“Besides,
how do I know that you’re not leading me into some sort of verbal entrapment scenario?”
Harper pulled the empanada apart and started eating it.  “Maybe you’re asking
because you’re looking for a very specific answer and if I don’t have the
answer on the first try you’ll get up and leave?”

“I
wouldn’t try and trick you,” she replied. “You’re too sentimental around the
eyes for that kind of bullshit.”

“Sentimental
around the eyes?” Harper cocked an eyebrow. “I don’t think anyone has ever said
that about me before.”

“I
made it up.” Jane took a sip of her drink, the one that didn’t contain clam
juice, and grinned. “It sort of described that lovely thing you’ve got going on
around your face.”

Harper
put her hand over her mouth; she was caught between trying to swallow a
mouthful of spicy food and laughing. If she wasn’t careful she was going to
need the Heimlich to help her survive the date.

“What?”
Jane chuckled. “Was it something I said?”

“No,”
Harper paused to finish swallowing her food and stop laughing. “It the way you
said it.”

“Technically,
English isn’t my first language so I don’t bother with how the words are
supposed to be put together.”

“You
don’t have an accent.” Harper remarked.

“And
I don’t speak a word of Danish.” Jane dipped a fry in the tamarind sauce and
nodded as she chewed. “And you have earned yourself a second date.”

“How
is that?”

“I
liked the answer you gave me.”

“About
sleeping with you?”

Jane
looked up at her through thick lashes and gave an innocent shrug of her
shoulders.

“See,
I knew it was a trick.” Harper cut off another piece of the chili and stabbed
at it. “So, maybe we’re long term material?”

“It’s
possible, but don’t get too full of yourself.” She warned as she pointed to Harper’s
full glass. “First things first, you need to drink that so we can start
planning dessert.”

“This
better be worth it.” This time she didn’t stop to inspect the drink before
putting it to her lips and taking a sip of the freakish concoction.

“It
will be.” Jane assured her.  “Especially when I let you kiss me on our next
date.”

*****

Jane stood in her apartment and surveyed the damage. She’d been
working more than normal, and there wasn’t a decent housekeeper among the three
of them, but something had to be done before they were forced to call in a
biohazard team and have the place tented.

She
tossed her bag on the couch and plopped down across from Lily who looked
absorbed in some home decorating show while she sucked a pot leaf shaped
lollipop.

“Good
morning,” she sighed.

“Afternoon.”
Lily answered back.

“Sorry,
I lost track of time.” Jane stretched her legs and kicked off her sandals. All
desire to clean drifted away as the mismatched couple on the real estate show
traded quips with an irritated real estate agent.

“You’re
back early.” Lily looked up from her seat and gave her a crooked smile. “Chloe
said you had a brunch date.”

“I
did.”

“And?”
Lily asked before returning the lollipop to her mouth.

“And
now I’m home.” Jane shrugged. She knew it wasn’t the kind of answer Lily was
looking for but it was the only one she was giving. She was still annoyed with
the fact that both of her friends had gone behind her back to manipulate the
situation with Harper.

“This
is the most depressing conversation I’ve had all day.” Lily announced.

“Have
you had a lot of conversations today?” Jane picked up the remote and pressed
the mute button. Something told her that this was the perfect time to get Lily
distracted from the subject of Harper.  

“More
than I was planning on having,” Lily groaned. “I’ve made a few mistakes since
last night,”

“A
few?” Jane chuckled.

“I’ve
got these two girls in my bedroom, and I’m pretty sure one of them was
straight.”

“Was?”

Jane
turned to face her and smiled a sad little smile. “I might have spoiled her for
men for the rest of her life.”

“Nice
ego you got there, Lil,” she laughed.

“Have
you ever had sex with a man?” Lily rolled her eyes. “It doesn’t take much to
top that experience.”

“So,”
Jane paused to catch her breath. “You found a straight girl who wanted to see
if she was gay?”

“Well,
that’s the impression I’m getting now that the Absinthe’s worn off,” she said
with a casual shrug.

“Jesus,”
Jane laughed again. “Absinthe?”

“It
seemed like a good idea at the time.” Lily stretched her arms over her head and
let them drop down to her sides. “In retrospect, it was not such a good idea.”

“Okay,
fine. Why don’t you tell me a little more about this situation you’ve gotten
yourself into?”

“With
the absinthe out of my system I’m pretty sure there isn’t much of a situation,”
she explained. “It’s mostly a matter of me being gay and the other girl being
gay and the third girl not thinking she was actually gay until she realized
just how much fun it is to have sex with women.”

 “This
sounds too complicated for my tiny brain. Can’t you give me condensed version
of the actual problem?”

“I
can’t get rid of them,” Lily popped the candy into her mouth groaned.

“Do
you have one of those for me?” Jane pointed to the familiar pot leaf wrapper
and smiled.

Lily
took the pop out of her mouth and nodded slowly. “You and Chloe.”

“Where
is Chloe?” Jane asked. “Maybe you can send her in there to get rid of your
girls?”

“She
went shopping for hair stuff and shoes.” Lily told her just as a smile broke
out on her face. “You brother woke me up.”

“Riley
was here?” Jane set the remote down on the coffee table and grabbed a band for
her hair. It’d been bugging her since she woke up but seeing as how she was
having a good hair day she didn’t want to ruin it before Harper could get a
look at what she looked like with it down.

“No,”
Lily said.  “He called.”

“He
called you?” Jane didn’t hide the bewilderment that coated her words. If there were
ever two people who never sought out one another’s company it was her best
friend and her brother. Jane knew they dealt with each other as a way to keep
the peace between all of them, but there was no love lost and Jane preferred it
that way since it helped to keep her family life separate from her real life. “Why
the hell did he call you?”

“Because
you had your phone turned off and he knows Chloe screens her calls so he was
out of options.” She answered as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

“That
still doesn’t explain why he needed to talk to any of us?” Jane fought against
the sudden urge to pour herself a tall, cold drink and wallow for half an hour
until Riley called to tell her what was really going on. “You’re leaving
something out.”

Lily
nodded slowly as her smile morphed into a self-satisfied smirk. “You need to
get Alice out of his house.”

Jane
felt all the blood drain away from her head in an instant and flood her heart.
It was a painful, frightening experience that made her thinks about heart
attacks and strokes and how tragically unexplainable it would seem to the
outside world if she died before she had the chance to do something important
with her life. “Please tell me this is a joke.”

“I
told him she could stay here with us.” Lily laughed and stuck the lollipop back
in her mouth.

“Why
would you say that?” Jane whined.

“Because
I’m a nice person.”

“Did
he even tell you what she’s doing here?” Jane picked up her bag and set it down
in her lap. No matter how many times Alice decided to pull this particular
trick she was never fully prepared to see her little sister. “I thought she was
in London with Mom.”

“So
did Riley,” Lily yawned. “But she just showed up yesterday morning as he was
packing up for a show. Apparently she was mumbling something about London being
too hot and having too many little dogs and how it was filled with snotty English
bitches. It was the usual Alice rant.”

“And,
of course, she can’t say at his house.”

Lily
sunk down a little lower in her seat, her eyelids were starting to look heavy
from the laced lollipop. “Riley said he had someone in the studio trying to get
a final mix pulled together, so she’s got to go.”

“Why
didn't she go on tour with Dad?”

“Probably,
because she likes hanging around Portland, making a nuisance of herself, and
annoying people?” Lily tossed the question out but they both knew she wasn’t looking
for an answer. “Why don’t you give him a call and find out for yourself?”

“I
don't want to deal with Alice today.” Jane grabbed her phone out of her bag and
hit the speed dial for her brother. “She gives me migraines.”

“I’ve
got the cure for that,” Lily laughed. “Three Darvocet and you’ll be just fine.”

“I’m
gonna need those.” Jane replied as the phone stopped ringing and she heard the
familiar sound of her brother talking.

“Jane?”
He gave an annoyed sigh. “It’s about time.”

 “What
the fuck is going on?” She shot back.

“Good
to hear from you too.”

“Why
is Alice in town?” Jane tightened her grip on the phone. “She’s supposed to be
with Mom for the summer.”

“Have
you picked her up yet?” Riley asked, his voice sounded strained, it reminded
her of the time when she was five and he found her sitting behind the tour bus
with a broken wrist and no adult in sight.

“Hell
no. Alice is your favorite sister.” She told him. “Why can’t she just stay
there until you get back?”

“She’s
too disruptive and I’ve got an artist in there who can’t deal with disruptions
right now,” he paused for a brief moment to talk to someone else. His voice
sounded serious and low but Jane couldn’t make out any of the words. “I'm kinda
stuck so can you just give me a break and get her out of the house?”

“Are
you in trouble?” She felt a tiny wave of sisterly love wash over her. It was
quickly followed by the fear of Riley also being in trouble and her being the
last sibling standing. Jane figured there weren’t enough drugs in the world to
help her deal with being the one responsible for all the member of her family.