Last Stop This Town (6 page)

Without really thinking about it, Sarah and Noah had gone into the baby’s room as Dylan had suggested, and now they were lying down on a baby blanket on the floor next to the crib. But the mood was ruined, and they were just leaning on their elbows facing each other. Any hope of reviving the romance was a long-shot, Noah estimated.

“So now what?” Sarah asked.

Noah kissed her. “We can still do
other
things,” he said, full of innuendo.

And to Noah’s surprise, that’s exactly what Sarah wanted to hear. She smiled and started taking off her pants.

Noah was confused. As her jeans were midway down her legs, Noah interrupted. “Uh, no. That’s not what I meant.”

Sarah immediately got the message. “Oh, so
your
condom breaks so now I have to service you?”

Noah looked at her impishly, like,
Pretty much
.

Sarah was not amused.

The power tools now off, Pike tried fruitlessly to stuff the foam back into the destroyed cushion, but the couch was nearly cut in two. The weed was spent and the others looked around for something else to amuse their addled brains. Suzanne found a small plastic speaker and started fiddling with it. Suddenly, a voice came through the speaker.

It was Sarah. “Why can’t you ever go down on me? Did it ever occur to you that I like to get oral sex, too?”

The stoners all stopped in their tracks and looked at each other.

“Oh, my God,” Suzanne said, stunned. She giggled uncontrollably and covered her mouth with her hand. Pike grabbed what was clearly a baby monitor from her and turned up the volume.

Noah spoke. “All right, all right. I’ll do it.”

The five stoners huddled together on the caved-in couch to listen to the drama unfold, like an old-time radio show.

“If it’s too disgusting for you,” Sarah yelled at Noah, “don’t do me any favors. Like having your dick in my mouth is a slice of heaven.”

Noah knew there was only one way out of this: south.

“Come here,” he said lovingly. He took Sarah into his arms and started kissing her. She held out for a moment to make her point, then finally kissed him back.

Neither of them noticed the red light on the baby monitor sitting on the dresser. Noah kissed Sarah’s neck to warm her up, then moved down her torso in the predictable journey to the promised land.

Meanwhile, back on the couch, Patience’s body language had completely changed. Any idiot could see she was bored, but Walker plowed on. “So, are you on Facebook?”

Just then, Pike burst into the room holding the baby monitor over his head like a trophy. The other stoners followed close behind, still laughing their asses off. Apparently, they had collectively decided this was simply too good to keep to themselves. Over the monitor, Sarah was moaning, “That’s it. Right there, babe. Lick my kitty.” And as her moans of ecstasy grew louder, the room went silent and everyone gathered around to listen.

In the baby’s room, Noah was doing a pretty solid job getting Sarah off.

“Yes! God, yes! Yes! Lick my kitty!”

The “kitty” thing was nothing new to Noah. Every girl must call her vagina
something
, he thought the first time he heard Sarah say it. By now, it didn’t even occur to him that it sounded kind of funny. But to the forty-odd people in the rec room downstairs, listening to the proverbial blow by blow, it was downright hilarious.

“Lick my kitty! Lick my kitty!” Sarah screamed as she got closer and closer.

The whole rec room was now chanting: “Lick her kitty! Lick her kitty!”

Pike, who obviously had been heavily into
Star Wars
before taking up pot, quoted that guy in the attack squadron in the final battle against the Death Star: “Stay on target.”

More moans, louder, faster.

Suzanne gave her expert opinion, “She’s almost there…”

“Stay on target,” Pike repeated.

“Lick my kitty!”

“Almost…”

“Stay on target…”

Sarah screamed, “Yes! Yes!
Yes
!!!”

A moment of silence, then the rec room erupted with applause.

Marco, ever the one to recognize a money-making opportunity, checked his stopwatch. “Okay, who had five oh two?” A football player raised his hand and Marco paid him the impromptu pool money.

Sarah and Noah got dressed and left the baby’s room. Sarah was in a good mood now and Noah felt genuinely happy to have brought so much pleasure to her. As they walked along the upstairs hallway, some people chuckled at them. One random dude with a goatee made claws at Sarah and meowed.

Sarah looked at Noah a little confused, but also a tiny bit nervous. The two headed downstairs to the first floor where they passed other people who also meowed at her. Sarah’s fears were swelling. “What’s going on here?”

“I have no idea,” Noah replied.

They headed down the next staircase to the basement. As they made it halfway, the room erupted in applause. Sarah and Noah still had no idea what was going on, until Marco shouted, “Lick my kitty! Lick my kitty!” He showed them the baby monitor and Sarah turned crimson.

“Oh, my God,” she eked out.

Sarah turned around and ran back upstairs. Noah raced after her.

It was still pretty warm out and Noah and Sarah argued out on the front lawn as the party was breaking up. “So it’s my fault that the baby monitor was on?” Noah asked defensively. “How was I supposed to know?”

“If you had a stupid back-up condom none of this would have happened!”

Noah was sick of her stupid logic. “Who cares anyway? In ten days you’re never going to see any of these people again!”

Sarah stared right into his eyes. “You mean like you?”

Oops.

Noah felt like he’d been outmaneuvered and quickly backtracked. “No, that’s not what I meant.” He looked down at the ground, barely able to get out, “But we should be realistic.”

Sarah started to tear up.

Noah explained, “You’re going to Madison. I’ll be halfway across the country.”

“They don’t have Spring Break at Brown?” Sarah asked accusingly.

“They do, it’s just…” Noah didn’t know if he should go there, but if they couldn’t be honest with each other, then what’s the point? “We fight all the time…”

A tear streamed down her cheek. “If you want to break up with me, just say so.”

But Noah didn’t say anything, which was actually worse. She had her answer. The silence was interrupted by a car honking for Sarah.

“Fine. Whatever.” She turned to leave.

Noah felt like an asshole. “Wait. Sarah—”

But it was too late. Sarah ran over to her friend’s waiting car and got in.

Noah watched them drive off, then trudged over to the driveway where Pike and Dylan were waiting for Walker to say goodbye to Patience.

“It was really great talking to you tonight,” Walker said, content in his mind that he had flawlessly executed step one of a ninety-three-part plan.

“Yeah, me, too,” Patience responded politely.

Walker added, “Have fun in France,” proving to her what a good listener he was.

“Thanks.” She shifted uncomfortably.

“So… I’ll email you,” Walker confirmed. He leaned in to hug her at the same time she extended a hand to shake in a classic-sitcom awkward moment. Walker quickly adjusted and shook her hand.

And then she was gone.

Walker joined the other three guys.

“Pathetic,” Dylan launched into him. “Fucking pathetic.”

Walker still didn’t get it. “What?”

Noah was in no mood to watch Dylan pick on Walker. “Give him a break.”

Dylan looked at Noah like,
What’s your problem?

Pike changed the subject. “Anyone hungry? I’m starving.”

T
HE
S
TEAK AND
Egg Kitchen was a throw-back to a simpler time, when grease was one of the four major food groups, and if you got sick from eating a $4.99 T-bone then that was your problem, not theirs. The simple brick building in the West Hartford Center housed some of the surliest waitresses and crunchiest pancakes in town. But the Steak and Egg Kitchen was also the only place in town that was open twenty-four hours.

Dylan and Pike were busy chewing out Walker while Noah moped over his scrambled eggs. “The girl goes to Choate, so you know she’s gotta be all coked up,” Dylan theorized.