Last Rite (2 page)

Tears sting my eyes, knowing this was all ’cause I let him down. They never could have taken him if I’d loved him enough. He was human and tagged for Heaven. If I’d believed in him, he never would have turned demon again, and Rhenorian couldn’t have taken him back to Hell.

I breathe the tears away. They’re not gonna help.

I run my finger gently around the periphery of the red patch on his side and he shivers as goose bumps pebble the flesh under my finger. His skin is hot, and the center of the burn is dark red and already starting to ooze clear fluid.

“This is bad.”

“It’s just a burn. It’ll be fine,” he answers, his expression stoic as he tugs his T-shirt down.

My heart crumbles as I push back into my seat, staring out the window, and I find myself fighting tears again. I can’t blame him for hating me. After all the ways I hurt him, I don’t deserve anything else.

It’s dark and, in the distance, I see lightning flicker. But other than that, it’s a charcoal gray blanket of clouds as far as the eye can see.

We’re all alone up here.

It’s eerie, but despite the fact that we’re rocketing through space in a tiny tin can, it also feels oddly safe. I glance at Gabe, then lean my forehead on the window and let myself zone out. I feel all the adrenaline that had been fueling me during the escape run out into a puddle on the floor, leaving me empty and exhausted. But I’m too scared to close my eyes … because the dreams …

I nearly jump out of my skin when the plane lurches and realize my eyes had slipped shut. I grasp the back of Gabe’s seat and pull myself forward. “Why couldn’t we just take a regular plane?”

“A small group in a small plane is easier to Shield. And, unless you’re willing to use your Sway to persuade the crew of a commercial jet to change course mid-flight, all Marc would have to do is phase to our arrival airport and wait for us.”

I don’t want to use my Sway at all, let alone to hijack a plane. “Good plan,” I say. The plane is tossed again and my stomach protests. “How much longer?”

“Another five hours.” He throws an assessing glance over his shoulder at me. “How you holding out?”

“Okay,” I lie. “Where are we going?”

He leans forward and rifles through what looks like a glove compartment in the console, then pulls out a white envelope and hands it over the back of his seat. I take it from him and pull it open.

Luc’s ID is on top and I hand it to him. It says he’s Damon Black. I look at mine. My face smiles out at me from the shiny surface of the Florida state driver’s license. The smile is fake, just like the name. It says I’m Colby Black. I’m not. It also says my eighteenth birthday was on April 12. It wasn’t. It was on August 22, somewhere in the haze following Taylor’s funeral.

Taylor’s dead
. My best friend. And it’s my fault.

The weeks since Lilith killed her are just a jumble of random memories—nothing but a blur—ending with Gabe whisking Luc and me to the airport.

I lean against the window again and concentrate on breathing. The ride smooths out a little and I tip my head back into the seat and close my eyes, knowing I won’t sleep but needing to settle my stomach. But it won’t settle. It churns with the thoughts whirring through my brain.

Luc’s hand brushes against mine and I look up. “Are you okay?” he asks softly, just audible over the hum of the engine.

Something stirs inside me at the concern in his voice. I nod, even though it’s a lie. I’m so far from okay, there’s not even a word. I went to Luc’s apartment tonight to tell him I loved him. But Rhen showed up. He told Luc he and some others wanted to start a rebellion against Lucifer … asked for our help. Then there was Lilith in the park, and everything went to Hell. Literally.

I never said it. I never told him how I feel.

And now I can’t. He doesn’t want to be here … with me. He said it. I don’t blame him. If I didn’t have to be with me, I wouldn’t.

I breathe deep and try to slow my throbbing heart and racing mind, but there’s not a single thought I can conjure to calm me down. Every memory leads me back to this place and how we got here—my endless list of bad choices.

I pull my iPod out of my bag and press in the earbuds, then do the best I can to relax as Alicia Keys tells me “everything’s gonna be all right.”

But I know better.

Lightning in my veins. Consuming me.

I’m not going to survive this.

I’ve learned to trust my visions. Matt, Grandma, Taylor … even Luc. Each time, I saw them dead before they died. There’s only once my vision hasn’t come true. The first time I saw myself dead, Luc and Gabe were able to save me. But this was more than a vision. More concrete. I didn’t just see myself dead—I actually
felt
myself dead. I felt myself floating, like air, without physical form. Nothing but light.

I won’t take Luc or Gabe with me. No one else is gonna die ’cause of me.

I turn off the music and listen to the hum of the engine, white noise, as I stare out the window. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch movement—a black shape moving over the gray blanket of clouds below. I stare for a moment, startled, but then realize it’s just the shadow of our plane cast by the moonlight on the clouds. I close my eyes and focus on slowing the beat of my heart.

LUC

Frannie’s breathing becomes slower and deeper as she sinks into me, causing mine to become more erratic. I hesitate before laying my arm over her shoulders, sure that, if I let her this close, I won’t be able to let her go again. But I’ve made my decision. As a mortal, I’m useless. I need my demonic powers. As a demon, not only can I protect Frannie, but I can blow things up.

Like Gabriel.

When he shoved his lightning hand into my face tonight and told me I was coming with him and Frannie, I would have loved nothing more than to blast him into oblivion.

I glare at the back of his head as Frannie leans into my side, pressing into the burn on my ribs. But the sting of her pressure there is nothing compared to the sting of my heart. Her whole life has just exploded into chaos, and it’s my fault—me and my infernal brethren.

Before we left, she asked me what happened tonight with Lilith in the park, and I couldn’t answer. It’s just one more of the many ways I’ve failed her. Killing Lilith would have been a small gesture, but a significant one—a way I could have helped instead of bringing Frannie constant pain. I’d had the knife to her throat. I was going to do it. But then I realized, if I followed through on my plan I wouldn’t kill Lilith, only her host body. Angelique would be dead and my tag would reverse. I’d be a murderer—tagged for Hell. I couldn’t have turned the knife on myself fast enough to keep her essence from entering me.

Being human is working to my distinct disadvantage.

Worse, I didn’t take Rhenorian as seriously as I should have. If I could have figured out a way to be useful to his uprising—lobbied Gabriel harder, or found a way to go over his head, which I would have enjoyed immensly—maybe Frannie’d be safe right now.

But she’s not, and I’m having a hard time imagining that she ever will be.

I know what she is, and I’m going to have her.

Black dread snakes through my insides at the echo of King Lucifer’s words in my head, as perplexing now as they were when He said them.

I know what she is.

What does He think she is?

Gabriel said she could change the shape of Heaven and Hell, but I don’t think I ever really believed it until now. My heart thrums, aching with my fear for her—my need for her—as I gaze down at her, so soft in my arms. But I know she’s anything but soft. She has strength of spirit seldom seen in a mortal, especially one this young. There’s something about her beyond her Sway, and the king of Hell wants it. He’s going after her with more determination than I’ve seen in Him since my creation.

I know what she is.

She moans and stirs against me and I quickly move to unwrap myself from her, sure she’s woken. But she hasn’t. Her breathing is irregular, coming in fits and bursts as she fights the demons in her dreams. I fold her more tightly into my arms and pull her as close as I can without waking her, needing to make this okay for her. Picking up a lock of her singed blond hair, I rub it between my fingers and bring it to my nose, taking in the faint scent of currant and clove that’s so uniquely Frannie. I kiss the top of her head and try to ward off her demons the only way I can now—by sending her all my strength.

Gabriel shoots a glance over the seat at us. “She sleeping?”

I nod. “Finally.” Frannie jumps in my arms and I shift in my seat, pulling her deeper into me, then look back at Gabriel. “How is this going to work? Marc and Rhen were both at the airstrip. They’ll know where we’ve gone.”

“Our Shields will continue to hide us, and they’ll have no idea where we land. The only way they’d be able to track us is to physically follow us, and last I looked, neither Rhenorian or Marchosias had wings.”

My gut twists. Marc and Rhen may not have wings, but others do. “And if you’re wrong?”

“Then we’re all screwed.”

I hear Gabriel’s frustration and it sparks my own. I look down at Frannie, twitching in my arms. “Please, for the love of all things holy, tell me you have a plan.”

Gabriel is silent for a long moment. “I’m working on it.”

My heart sinks. No plan. This is worse than I thought. “Why did you drag me along on this field trip? You know I’m no help in a fight.” I hold up my hand. “No spark in the plugs.”

He glances over the seat at me, then his eyes glide to Frannie and something mournful darkens his face. “You two are connected in a way I can’t explain. The only way I can keep Frannie safe is to keep you close. You’re the only demon who’s ever been able to see past her Shield. You know Lucifer will use you to find her if He gets His hands on you.”

I do, which is why I couldn’t let Lilith take me. But, if he’d left me—if Frannie gave up on me—I could have hidden out until I turned demon again, then gone vigilante on Lilith, Marc … all of them.

I settle deeper into Frannie, propping my cheek on the top of her head. I know it’s dangerous to let myself go around her, but for just a minute, while she’s sleeping, I can pretend things are how they were before I killed any chance we had at happiness. I close my eyes and remember.

FRANNIE

The plane is tossed, startling me awake. There’s a warm body wrapped around me and hot breath in my hair. And cinnamon.

Luc.

For an instant, I think it all must have been a horrible dream and my heavy heart lifts. I’m in Luc’s bed, wrapped in his arms. Just where I belong.

But the plane tosses again, scaring the snot out of me, and I grip Luc harder as panic and despair start to choke me. It’s not a dream. It’s real. All of it. Lilith. Luc. Matt.

Taylor
.

My heart goes dead in my chest for a second, then slams back into rhythm with a jolt that jerks my entire body.

No
. I’m not going there right now. I can’t.

Luc’s breathing is slow and deep, and I realize he’s asleep.
God, I miss this
. I breathe him in and try to lose myself in the feeling of being in his arms again. The gaping hole in my chest fills a little as I let myself remember what it was like to open up and let someone in. I’d never let anyone touch my heart before Luc, and he’d filled it completely. So, even though I know I’ve ruined what we had, I lie here in his arms and pretend he still loves me. But I don’t let myself fall back asleep. I don’t want to miss a minute of this.

As I lay here, drawing on Luc’s strength and feeling safer than I know we are, my mind drifts to my family and a thread of panic tickles deep inside my chest. I’ve left them behind. Will they be okay? Can Dad protect them?

Dad
.

I picture him and Mom as they watched us pull out of the driveway. They knew something wasn’t right, but they also knew better than to ask. I wonder if Dad knows I’m not in L.A. Guilt eats me alive at the lie.

How was nothing in my life what I thought it was? Luc, Gabe, Lilith, Dad,
me
? I’m a Nephilim, the product of a mortal mother and a fallen angel. I don’t even know what that means, except it’s probably why I have Sway.

And the whole reason we’re rocketing through space in a tin can—running from everything I’ve ever known into God only knows what.

And the reason Taylor is dead and Matt is gone.

I sigh and sink into Luc, trying to force the knot in my chest to loosen. If anything happens to him or to my family before this is over, I don’t know what I’ll do. But I’m not gonna think about that now. Luc is here, holding me. I want to stay here forever and just forget the world. I nestle my face into him, my ear against his chest, and listen to the beat of his heart.

2

Personal Demons

FRANNIE

“We’ll be down in ten.” Gabe’s voice jars me from my temporary bliss.

I open my eyes and look up into Luc’s. They’re open, and in the instant before he knows I’m looking, I can see how haunted he is. His face is pulled tight with worry, making me hate myself even more for putting him through this.

Still lost in my fantasy, I start to reach for his stubbled chin. But his expression hardens and he pulls away from me, straightening in his seat and reminding me that it was just that—a fantasy. My heart, which had been pounding out its love for him, contracts into a hard ball as I remember he hates me.

He looks so unbelievably tired, dark circles rimming sunken obsidian eyes, his clothes rumpled and burned, and his black mop of hair every which way. The bandage on his arm is coming loose. The bleeding has stopped, but the skin under the gauze looks purplish white and swollen around the knife wound. I lift my eyes to his and he holds my gaze for just a second. I want to ask him about what happened in the park with Lilith, but before I can find the right words, he looks away. I take a deep breath and peer out the window at the rising sun, a gold orb low in the brightening sky. We circle under the clouds, over terrain that is very flat and very sandy. I can see the glare of the sun off patches of water here and there in the distance and not much else.