Last Resort (36 page)

Bringing her eyes back to his, she said, "The newspaper cuttings I read about you all date back to two years or more ago. Was that when you came to Europe?

Two years ago?"

"Yeah, around that time."

To the South of France?"

TMo, to Paris, actually. Paris and London. I don't spend much time here on the Riviera. It's a great place to visit, but it lacks energy. Most of the people are half asleep they don't appear to have a clue what's going on in the world around them and I guess they don't much care either."

His eyes were dancing.

"Of course, there are exceptions."

Penny smiled, but she was thinking that, not so long ago she had held the same view of the Riviera and now, listening to him, she realized she'd been too busy to notice that he was right. There wasn't much stimulation to be got down here and it felt suddenly as if the rest of the world was moving on without her.

"You know, there is something that intrigues me,"

she said.

His eyebrows were raised as he waited for her to go on.

"Well, how on earth did you come to choose people like Esther and Wally Delaney to look after things for you when they seem the least likely people on earth to become involved in ..."

She started to smile as she belatedly realized how dense she was being.

"Which is, of course, precisely why you chose them,"

she said, answer-

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ing her own question.

His eyes were simmering with laughter. To tell you the truth/ he said,

"they don't do that much for me. Esther is just one of many who courier things back and forth to the States for me from time to time, or drive me between cities here in Europe. And the guys who organize false identities and passports for me occasionally deliver them to Wally. But don't tell him I told you that, because he likes to think he's running the show."

Penny nodded, thinking that he was far more tolerant of Wally than she would ever be.

"He's very protective of you/ she remarked.

Christian grimaced.

"He's protective of an income he needs badly/ he responded.

Penny's eyes slanted towards the window for a moment as she thought about what she wanted to ask next and considered how to phrase it. In the end she said,

"The night of the launch party, the party to which you almost came/ she added, looking at him teasingly,

"Esther mentioned that there was another boss, someone whose name she didn't know ..."

He nodded and his smile was wry as he said,

"Most of the guys are in jail now, but there are still a few of us this side of Gomorrah. The others are mainly in South America or the Far East. We meet up occasionally, either there or here and Esther wouldn't know the name of the guy who was here at the time of your launch, because it's safer for her not to know. And the reason she'd think of him as a boss is that Wally told him about you and he came on pretty heavy with me about how crazy I was to be even considering putting myself at risk by meeting you. I didn't argue, because he had a point. You see, it's only a matter of time for all of us now."

Penny looked at him, wondering what it must be like to have something like that hanging over your head and feeling slightly dazed by how casually he seemed to accept it.

"Are you really considering giving yourself 277

up?"

she asked, feeling her heart trip on the dread of his answer.

"Considering, yes,"

he said.

"But there are things I still need to straighten out before I go."

"You mean the deal with the DA?"

He nodded. "That, yes. Other things too."

His smile was self-mocking. Tou see, when the boss gives himself up, the pressure will be off the rest."

"Meaning they might keep their freedom if you give up yours?"

They might."

"Which is why the pressure is so great for you?"

As he looked at her she could see that he was wondering if she really understood.

"It's hard,"

he said in the end,

"but it's life. It was all just an adventure when it began. I don't think any of us ever dreamt we'd make so much money or get the kind of thrill we did doing it. It got so we couldn't stop."

"But you've stopped now?"

He laughed. Tes, we've stopped."

"Do you have any regrets?"

His eyes seemed to cloud as he looked searchingly into hers.

"Sure, I have regrets,"

he said softly.

"More now I've met you, which is another reason I resisted you for so long. I was kind of afraid this might happen."

Penny swallowed hard and, taking a breath, she said,

"Earlier, when I arrived at the hotel, I was trying to think of something I read the other day and now I know what it was."

His eyes were dancing as he waited for her to go on.

"It was by Henry Miller/ she said.

"He wrote: "Nobody can feel better than the man who is completely taken in. To be intelligent may be a boon, but to be completely trusting, gullible to the point of idiocy, to surrender without reservation, is one of the supreme joys of life."

"

Christian gave a shout of laughter.

"And do you consider yourself to be so gullible?"

he said.

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'I think I could be/ she said, her eyes dancing.

"And do you think that I'm trying to take you in?"

"No. But if you are, then I surrender without reservation."

Instead of laughing, as she'd expected him to, he simply looked at her as though trying to fathom her. Tell me about you/ he said softly.

"Have you ever been married?"

"No/ she answered.

"But I know that you have."

He was quiet for some time; then, looking down at his glass, he said,

"It's in the past. Let's leave it there, shall we?"

He's still hurting, Penny was thinking as she looked at the shadows on his face.

At last he brought his eyes back to hers and as she gazed into them he reached across the table and took her hand in his. The touch was very gentle, yet Penny's eyes and heart fluttered as she felt the incredible force of him flowing into her. Then, as his fingers curled around hers and he willed her to look at him again, she experienced such a heightening of emotion that the panic she had felt earlier at the power of what was happening between them swept through her again.

"Can we go?"

she whispered.

"Yes/ he nodded.

"I think we should."

They made love all that night and into the next morning. For Penny there were moments when it was hard to make herself believe it wasn't all a dream. But harder still was making herself accept that it wasn't going to last. Her hunger for his embraces, his passion, his extraordinary gift for knowing what she needed and then showing her more was something she couldn't bear to think of coming to an end. He was blinding her. All she could see was him, all she could feel was the incredible force of the sensations racing through her body.

Once he accused her of being alone, of taking her pleasure and 279

shutting him out. But when he discovered how long it had been since she'd made love he made her lie back on the pillows and allow him to bring her back to life.

What he did to her was indescribable as he took her from one spectacular release to another, and another. He made love to her in every possible position, throwing her across the bed and driving himself into her until she could take no more. And then he was tender, stroking her, caressing her, kissing her and telling her to look into his eyes.

Tou're not with me/ he whispered.

"I can see you're not with me."

"How can you say that,"

she groaned,

"when I've never been more with anyone in my life?"

He smiled and kissed her softly on the mouth.

"Maybe,"

he said,

"the fear of losing you has already become too great."

"Don't let's talk about that/ she said, tightening her arms around him.

"Don't let's even think about it, not now."

Rolling on to his back, he took her with him and looked up at her in the dawn light.

"Make love to me now/ he whispered.

"Make love to me and tell me you love me."

"I love you, Christian/ she whispered, tears starting in her eyes.

"I don't understand it, but I do."

"Shh/ he said softly, wiping away her tears.

"I love you too."

Pulling himself up he put his mouth to her breast and sucked gently on the tender nipple. She looked down at him, running her fingers through his hair then pulling his face up she held it between her hands.

"Look at me/ she pleaded.

"Look at me and tell me what's happening between us. I don't understand it, I don't know how to deal with it. I... I feel so afraid."

"I know/ he said.

"I can sense it. But don't be afraid we'll deal with this together, take our days as they come,

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be grateful for what we have while we have it."

"But I don't want to lose you. I just can't bear to think about it."

"Shh,"

he soothed.

"I thought we weren't going to talk about it now."

Tou're right/ she sighed.

"Why don't we sleep for a while?"

he said, easing her down and drawing her head to his shoulder.

"I would if I wasn't so afraid that when I wake up you'll be gone."

But he wasn't. He was still there, holding her as he breathed slowly and rhythmically in his own sleep.

Gazing at him, the dark line of his brows, the tiny scar beneath his eye that she hadn't noticed before, the sharp bones of his cheeks, the inky-black stubble around his jaw, the pale redness of his mouth, she thought how terribly vulnerable he looked. It made her think of David and the moment of vulnerability he had shown the day before. She found herself wondering what it would be like to lie there looking at him this way, feeling the firmness of his body against hers, the gentle whisper of his breath on her cheek. Then all thoughts of David were gone as Christian's eyes opened and he started to smile.

Smiling too, Penny turned away and reached for her robe.

"Hey, where are you going?"

he laughed, pulling her back.

To the bathroom."

Romance like this was bliss, was what fantasies were made of, but in reality she had to clean her teeth.

A few minutes later he came up behind her and stood watching her in the mirror as she moved the toothbrush back and forth. It was a while before the intensity of his eyes penetrated her, when it did she stopped brushing and turned to face him. Taking the toothbrush from her mouth, he lowered his lips to hers and pushed his tongue deep inside. Penny's arms went round him, her 281

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fingers digging hard into his buttocks as he pressed himself to her. Her head fell back as he moved his lips down over her neck, his hands pushing aside her robe, sliding over her shoulders and covering her breasts.

In a moment they were on the floor and he was inside her. She was still tender and raw, but the feel of him pushing into her was so much stronger than the pain. She lifted her knees, and turned to the mirror, watching the powerful thrust of his body as he rode her.

"Where are you?"

he whispered, turning her face back to his.

"I was there,"

she smiled,

"in the mirror with you, watching you make love to me."

He turned to look and laughed softly.

"Come back to me,"

he murmured to her reflection.

"Be with me here."

As she looked up into his eyes she pushed her fingers into his hair and traced a thumb over his lips. For a moment his eyes fluttered closed as he reached total penetration. Then, raising his hips, he started to pump gently in and out of her, all the time holding her eyes.

"Oh God/ she groaned as he started to move faster.

"What are you doing to me? I never knew I... Oh, God!"

she cried as he pushed a hand between them and touched her.

"Christian!"

she sobbed, clinging to him as he stroked his fingers back and forth.

Then, pulling himself gently out of her, he eased her on to her side and entered her from behind, moving his fingers faster and faster over the front of her until she felt the incapacitating shudders of orgasm begin. And he was there with her, opening her legs wider as he rolled on to his back and pulled her on to him. Then he was sitting with his chest pressed against her back, pushing her forward until she fell on to her knees. Her orgasm was exploding in exquisite, torturous bursts, seeming to go on for ever.

"Ah, man DKM/ he gasped as he rammed himself hard into her and held himself there. He was so big inside her

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that she could feel the pulsating beat of his climax.

"Oh, Penny, Penny,"

he groaned.

"My love, what are we doing to each other?"

As she collasped beneath him he fell over her, moving the bulk of his weight to the floor.

It was a long time before either of them had the strength to move. When they did, it was only because he complained he was getting cold.

Laughing, Penny turned over and cupped his face in her hands.

"I want to do it again,"

she teased.

Closing his eyes, he started to laugh.

"Ah, saved by the bell,"

he said as the telephone rang.

As Penny went to take the call she heard him turn on the shower. A few minutes later she was back, standing under the water with him and soaping him.

"Who was it?"

he asked, holding his face under the spray.

"Just a colleague,"

she answered, not about to tell him that it had been Marielle calling to find out how her date had gone.

"Do you have to go into the office today?"

he asked.

"No. What about you? Do you have to go anywhere?"

"No."

They spent the entire weekend together, only parting for the few, but lengthy, calls he had to make. She didn't ask about them: they were a part of another life, a life that was going to intrude upon them all too soon, so why invite it? They walked in the garden in the rain, drove up to Mougins and drank coffee behind the steamy windows of a cafe. On Saturday evening he took over her car and drove them to an out-of-the-way restaurant, deep in the forests of the Var. On Sunday morning, after another night of untold passion and broken sleep, he drove down to Cannes, collected the papers and took them back to her in bed. At lunchtime he raided the fridge; then, throwing everything back in disgust, announced he was taking her to lunch in Eze. They talked about so many things,