Last First Kiss (40 page)

Catch you later lover,

Chloe

Giselle struggled for breath as the muscles in her chest constricted. “Oh God!” she gasped, clenching at her chest.
This must be what a broken heart feels like.
Tears streamed down her face as she hit the print button, then folded the paper neatly and placed it in her purse. She grabbed her purse and keys, and headed out the door. There was only one person she could talk to about this and she knew where to find him.

<><><>

Jackson was slightly surprised to see Giselle standing at his door when he answered the bell. “Hey, Babe, did you come to help me finish my deck?”

“
Did you know?” she asked, taking off her sunglasses.

“
Know what? What’s wrong? You’ve been crying.” He stepped forward and reached for her.

She avoided his grasp and walked around him. “Did you know about Toby and Chloe?”

“
What about them?” he asked warily.

“
They were having an affair...My husband and your wife.”

Jackson stood there, shaking his head. “That’s not possible.” He reached for her and she avoided him again.

“
I overheard the secretary at his office say that she saw them at a hotel. She said Chloe was wrapped around him like a ‘stripe on a barber pole’. Did...You...Know?”

“
It never happened, Giselle,” he said, quietly.

“
Yes, it did. I have the proof!” She opened her purse and handed him the email print out.

He read it and shook his head. “No, Toby was always faithful to you. I guarantee it. Oh, Chloe tried, but he turned her down. He’s one of a select few of my friends who did turn it down. She set Red up years ago, and he turned her down, too. She hated him for it, of course, and she hated me for believing him. I was stupid enough to choose her over his friendship, and that’s why she wouldn’t allow him to be a part of my life for so long and why she destroyed anything of mine that pertained to LSU. Red was a part of it.”

“
But I’ve got proof.”

“
This?” He shook his head and flicked at the print out. “All you’ve got here is the ravings of a lunatic who’d do anything she could to set someone up. She was
counting
on you to find this and jump to the wrong conclusion.”

Giselle began to pace nervously. “I don’t believe that. I’m so stupid...The last person to know. I keep thinking of him in that hotel room with Ch..Chloe and I just can’t stand it. I could kill him if he was standing in front of me. I swear I could. I c…can’t believe he’d do that to me, Jackson...I’m so h..hurt that he’d do that to me...to us.” Her tears spilled over her lashes onto her cheeks. “He...He didn’t think of his daughters..h..how can I speak to them about their father now without them sensing how
angry
I am with him?” she asked, beginning to sob. “I just don’t understand it..I don’t understand h..how C..Chloe even knew him. We didn’t hang around the same circles..the only common denominator is you. H..he must have wanted her badly to do that to b..both of us.”

Jackson took her in his arms, cradling her tightly. “Baby, please believe me. It never happened. I don’t know what that woman saw, probably Chloe just doing what she did best. Believe me when I tell you that behavior was normal for her. But Toby would never have done that to you. You and those girls were everything to him. I swear to you, Giselle, he loved the three of you too much to jeopardize that.”

“
I d..don’t believe that! I know he d..did it; the email verifies that woman’s story, J..Jackson. She emailed him and c..called him her l..lover. He d..did it!” She burst into tears.

Jackson put his chin on her head and closed his eyes, as he listened to her heart-broken sobs. There was no help for it. He couldn’t stand by and see her in this kind of misery.

“
Here, sit down so I can tell you something,” he said, seating her gently on his sofa and kneeling before her. “Do you remember me telling you about a letter that Chloe left with our lawyer?”

She nodded. “V...vaguely.”

“
Well in that letter she talked about how she tried to get Toby to sleep with her, but that he wouldn’t do it. She even said she followed him to that hotel and tried to set him up, but that he still wouldn’t do it. She said he was the only one of my friends who hadn’t. It was all in the letter...Believe me.”

“
D..do you s..st..ill have the letter?” she asked between sobs. “If I could s..see the letter..Jackson..p..pl..ease.”

“
Can’t you just take my word for it?” he asked, in a last attempt to get out of showing it to her.

“
If you’re telling me the tr...truth, I n..eeed to s..see it. P..pl..ease!” she sobbed.

He nodded, knowing there was no way around this. He braced himself, praying for the best, and pulled his wallet out of his pocket, removed the letter and began to unfold it slowly. “I need to tell you something first. It’s
my
fault that she tried so hard to get Toby to sleep with her. She hated you, Giselle,” he said, wincing at the ugly words coming out of his mouth, more so because he knew the absolute truth of them. “She hated you because of me,” he said.

Giselle continued to shake her head. “That doesn’t make any s..sense, Jackson.”

Jackson brushed tears gently off of her face with his thumb and nodded. “It will once you read this.” He handed her the letter and waited as she began to read.

Jackson-

If you’re reading this, then I suppose I’ve bitten the dust somehow. I never planned on going before you. I planned on you dying first and making me a very wealthy widow. I’d be able to spend your money any way I wanted without your oh-so-tiresome ‘suggestions’ as to what I should do with it.

Now that I have your undivided attention, I want you to know one thing. I never wanted children...not yours...not anyone’s. I was not about to ruin my body by carrying around a lump for nine months. I’ve been on the pill for years. Shocked? I hope so...I do love it when I can shock you. It was getting more and more difficult to shock you over the years. Anyway, I just used getting my period every month as a handy excuse to perform my little act that I’ve perfected...tearing my hair out...wailing about how unfair it was that I couldn’t have a child to love. Keeping you feeling sorry for me and desperate to console me. I played you like a fined tuned instrument, and you never even knew it.

I’ve slept with nearly all of your friends, and they enjoyed it. I even slept with your best man during our wedding reception; bet you didn’t know that, did you? Tanner Collins has proven to be of much use to me over the years. It’s been quite a challenge to keep both you and his fiancé in the dark...what fun! There has only been two fish that wouldn’t bite for me...that low class nobody, Red McAllister...and Toby Granger. I’ve tried on countless occasions; I’ve emailed him and even followed him to a hotel to set him up, but still nothing. He must really love that cow Giselle...how I hate her!

Jackson watched her reaction as she discovered Toby stayed faithful to her. She cried out, letting her head fall back as she held the letter to her heaving chest.

He reached out for the letter, praying she’d give it back without finishing it. As she stared up at him, looking so relieved, he thought for a moment she would...and she’d never have to know the truth.

“
But why did she hate me so much? It still doesn’t make sense?” she said, shaking her head.

Jackson extended his hand for the letter, giving her a nearly imperceptible shake of his head. He knew the instant she decided to read on. He cringed inwardly as her head dropped to read the rest.

Did you think I didn’t know that you’ve been in love with her for years? That’s why I tried to get her husband to sleep with me, but they seem inseparable. The one thing that’s keeping me going is the fact that if I’ll never have him, then at least you’ll never have her, either.

Well, Jackson, it’s been a pleasure screwing with your head. I guess I should say something about what I want done with my remains. I don’t want any kind of church service and I sure as hell don’t want anyone gawking over my poor dead body. Have me cremated and have my ashes sent to my mother in California. See you in hell...Stay miserable.

Chloe

Jackson took a deep breath and prepared for the questions he knew were coming...He could practically see them forming in her mind. He didn’t have to wait long.

“
Is this true?”

He nodded.

“
We were so happy, Jackson,” she said quietly.

He stood and turned away from her. “I know that, Giselle. Believe me, had Toby lived, you never would have found out...Not by me, anyway. I couldn’t help the way I felt.”

“
Why? When I treated you the way I did back then.”

He ran his hands through his hair, sighed then turned back around to face her. “I don’t know why or how. One day you put me in my place for something, and instead of irritating the hell out of me like you usually did, I realized I admired you for it. I’d watch you when you told stories about the girls and your eyes would light up. I didn’t even know Toby at the time, but I was envious of the relationship you had with him. I’d see pictures of your family, and I wanted that life so badly, but one day I realized I didn’t want it with Chloe...I wanted it with you.”

“
What about after you met Toby?” she asked quietly.

He put his head down. “After I met Toby, I knew why you were so happy with him. That man adored you and the girls. I met him at Carrie and Sam’s one day and we just hit it off. I didn’t want to pal around with him...It was too weird at first...Too damn depressing. But he kept pushing me, and I finally caved in. Toby became like a brother to me. I thought that being so close to him would change my feelings for you, but it didn’t. After the accident, when I made my way to your truck and saw him...”, he shook his head. “When I saw he didn’t make it, and you did, I knew how devastated you’d be. I couldn’t walk away from you and the girls. I had to try to help you in some way.” He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

She’d risen from the couch and walked over to him. “It must have been difficult for you,” she said. “I was so awful to you back then.”

“
I couldn’t stay away. I loved you too much, Giselle.”

She looked up at him with tears streaming down her face. “Does anyone else know?”

“
The only person I ever told was Red a couple of years ago. Carrie and Uncle Bill said they’ve both known for years.”

“
How did they know?” she asked, seeming confused.

“
Hell, I don’t know. I sure never told them...Ask Carrie. All I know is that I felt bad about losing his friendship. You cannot imagine how confusing that was for me. He was a good man.”

“
I guess he was after all, and I didn’t have faith in him enough to question what I’d seen and heard. I’m sorry Jackson.”

He finally allowed himself to relax. “You don’t have anything to apologize to me for,” he said, reaching out to her.

Giselle avoided his touch, and backed away from him. “I’ve rushed into this thing with you, and I shouldn’t have.”

Confusion and pain washed over him like a giant tidal wave. “Please don’t say that. Please.”

She shook her head. “When I thought Toby had been unfaithful to me, I was so shocked that a man who’d been dead for eight months could still break my heart. I was devastated, and surprised, because I thought I was over him. Now I know that I’m not...and the truth is, I don’t know if I ever will be.”

“
Please don’t do what I think you’re doing,” Jackson said, reaching out to her.

“
I owe him Jackson...I owe him.” She took another step away from him, toward the door.

He shook his head, his face taking on a panicked expression. “You owe it to him to be happy. He’d want that for you. I knew him, too.”

She shook her head, unable to stop the free flow of tears down her face. “I don’t think I can be happy without him right now, I need to break this off. I’m sorry Jackson, I have to go. I have to get out of here.”

“
Giselle.” He grabbed her hand when she tried to leave. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut before he pleaded with her one last time. “Don’t ask me to live without you. I can’t do that again.”

“
Please don’t try to stop me. I can’t think like this.” She pulled her hand from his and headed toward the door. She paused long enough at the door to stop and look back at his tortured face. That’s when she realized how badly she’d hurt him. “I’m so sorry,” she said, overwhelmed by guilt before she walked out.