Last Exit to Brooklyn - Hubert Selby Jr (25 page)

Harry walked around with the men too, patting them on
the backside and telling them that theyd break those ballbreakers.
Theyll find out they cant fuckus, and he would smile his smile and
stamp books.

Only a slight reminder was
needed the following Saturday to keep the men comparatively content,
but soon the grins once more faded into scowls and the scowls into
blankness and though the President gave an exuberant and loud speech
before they received their $10 bag of groceries, and told them in as
fatherly a manner as he could, that Thanksgiving morning they would
each receive, in addition to their regular bag of groceries, a 4 lb.
chicken—the clique applauding—they lined up, walked and spoke
with the same sullenness and hopelessness they had not too many weeks
before. And then it was Thanksgiving day. At least the wife would be
home today to cook.

* * *

That night Harry went to the dragball. Hundreds of
fairies were there dressed as women, some having rented expensive
gowns, jewelry and fur wraps. They pranced about the huge ballroom
calling to each other, hugging each other, admiring each other,
sneering disdainfully as a hated queen passed. O, just look at the
rags shes wearing. She looks like a bowery whore. Well, lets face it,
its not the clothes. She would look simply ugly in a Dior original,
and they would stare contemptuously and continue prancing.

There were, too, hundreds not dressed as women: a few
of them fairies who walked about with the others, but the majority
were johns, trade, and bisexuals. They sat around the perimeter of
the ball room on folding chairs or stood leaning against the wall,
dimly visible in the shadows of the barely lighted ballroom,
squinting and leering at the queens. The entire ballroom was lit by
four medium sized spotlights, one in each corner, and the light was
filtered through multicolored discs so spots of colored light crawled
along the ceiling and walls, fell to the floor then crawled along the
floor, over a leg or back and back into the corner. The queens
standing or walking around the floor were continually brushed with
the colored spots and their smooth bared arms would be pocked with
green, purple, red, violet, yellow, or combinations as the colors
crossed each other, and flesh would be covered with brownish or
bluish cores with various colored ellipses wiggling from them; or a
cheek would be pink or white or tan with makeup then suddenly mottled
with a large gangrenous spot, the rest of the face shaded with yellow
and violet and then the cheek would turn purple, then red; and an
occasional light scratched across the faces of the stag line along
the sides of the grand ballroom, a wide staring eye or green wet lips
briefly visible in the shadows; the lights crawling down the wall,
rushing across their faces, then crawling along the floor to their
corner and starting the journey again. A few of the shadows spoke,
some even smiled, but most sat still and silent, hunched forward
slightly following the movements of the lights and queens.
Occasionally a flame would appear as a cigarette was lit and an
orange face would be thrust forward then be completely invisible for
many seconds before coming slowly from the shadows again, the eyes
never once, not for a second, looking anywhere but at the queens and
the roving lights.

Harry stood at the entrance to the grand ballroom
looking around then slid to the side and leaned against the wall
trying to recognize his friends. He know almost everyone from Marys
would be there, but he could not recognize them in drag. When his
eyes became accustomed to the light he looked more closely at the
queens on the floor. He was surprised, though he knew they were men,
how much they looked like women. Beautiful women. He had never in his
life seen women look more beautiful or feminine than the queens
strolling about the floor of the ballroom. Yet, when his surprise
passed, he felt a little disappointed and looked at the fairies not
in drag. He spotted a few he knew and walked over to them. At first
he felt conspicuous leaving the shadowed edge of the room and walking
across the floor with the lights bobbing around, but as he stood and
talked with his friends he wished the lights were brighter.
Occasionally one of their friends, who was in drag, would join them
and though Harry was still surprised at how beautiful they were he
was impatient for them to leave.

Later in the evening a small band played dance music
and couples glided, bumped and twisted across the dance floor. From
time to time a couple would stand almost immobile, arms tight around
each other, kissing and an evil queen would dance by and tap the
queen on the shoulder and tell her to take it easy. You might get a
hardon honey and rip that dress all up, and laugh and dance away; and
people walked back and forth to the bar and others stood on the
stairs in the hallway gulping at a bottle; and couples sprawled up
and down the stairs, some looking desperately for a dark corner; and
the band played a Charleston and the queens and their johns and
lovers shuffled and kicked and a few queens lifted their dresses,
squealing and screaming, each trying to kick higher than the other,
the colored spots crawling up their legs and across their genitals;
and the walls and corners were empty now except for embracing
couples; and Harry went out and bought a couple of pints of gin and
he and his properly dressed fairy friends made frequent trips to the
hall and Harry, for the only time during the evening, watched the
queens, but when the Charleston was over he once more ignored the
couples on the dance floor of the grand ballroom.

All the queens were high now on gin and bennie and
the dance floor was a chaos of giggling, flitting queens, the
drooling bodies from the shadows tracking them. All during the night
queens came over to Harry and his friends and talked with them and
many asked Harry to dance or take a walk and he always refused and
when they left he would turn and start talking to Regina, a fairy he
had met many times in Marys, but, for some reason, had never taken
home or thought of; and soon he was always at Reginas side, talking,
drinking, smoking or just standing, and wherever she went Harry
followed. She was wearing a pair of tight slacks and a sportshirt and
all the whirling of skirts seemed to force Harry to her side. After
the Charleston ended Harry put his arm around her and she smiled and
kissed him. Harry smiled his smile and rubbed the back of her neck
and they went out of the hall with the others, finished what was left
of the gin, stood talking with their friends for a while then, when
the others went back to the ballroom, they left and Harry took Regina
home.

The weeks following Thanksgiving were lovely and
exciting for Harry. He saw Regina often and though, if he thought
about it, he might have wished he were with Alberta or one of the
other fairies he had made love with, he liked being with her, making
love with her and calling her on the phone and making a date to meet
in Marys. She was a little different than the others and her attitude
toward Harry was not the same as the others. She wasnt nervous with
him at all. She had no doubts as to what Harry would do. She was more
like Ginger when she danced with him at the office and almost crushed
his hand. And Harry loved going up to Marys and walking to the tables
in the rear knowing someone was waiting specifically for him. He
still hung around the office after five drinking beer with the guys
from the Greeks, but left shortly after they did and took a cab
uptown. He went out more often with Regina than he had with any of
the others and occasionally he would buy her a shirt or some little
something she asked for. And so he added a few more dollars each week
to his expense sheet.

For the other strikers the weeks following
Thanksgiving were the beginning of winter. There were days of cold
drizzling rain when the men were so cold after walking the picket
line, from the weather and dejection, that the coffee, no matter how
hot, did not warm them, nor did they feel alive enough to shiver.
They just walked the line or waited in the office, only a few of them
bothering to curse the weather and then only under their breath. And
each Saturday they lined up, after being reassured by one of the
officials, and collected their $10 bag of groceries, no longer
interested in what was said at the last meeting of the negotiating
committees, or the fact that every union in the country was sending
money each week to their local so they could continue to provide
their men with the staples of life.

Harry loved sitting in the
back of Marys with his arm around Regina, waving to his friends,
ordering drinks, inviting people to his table, even waving to Ginger
one night when she walked in and keeping her at the table until he
left with Regina. One night Harry took Regina home and early the next
morning he was slowly awakened by something tickling his face. He
opened his eyes and Regina was kneeling beside him rubbing her cock
against his mouth. He stared then sat up. Whatthefuck yadoin, unable
to look her in the eye for more than a second, looking at her cock
and the hand around it, the manicured and redpolished nails. Regina
laughed then Harry laughed too and they fell back on the bed laughing
until Regina finally rolled over and kissed him.

* * *

On xmas eve the men reported to the hall for their
bags of groceries. The hall was strung with decorations and over the
platform was a huge sign stretched from wall to wall: MERRY XMAS AND
A HAPPY NEW YEAR. Recorded xmas carols were played and the officials
wished each man, individually, a merry xmas. Each man got an
additional $5.00 worth of groceries, another 4 lb. chicken and an
xmas stocking filled with hard candy.

At the first meeting after the xmas holidays the
strike was settled. New government contracts were awarded the company
and work would have to begin by the middle of January so Harrington
was forced to settle the strike. He was certain that if they
prolonged the strike another month he would be able to rid himself of
Harry Black, but the Board of Directors informed him that the plant
must be in full operation by the middle of January and so an
agreement was reached.

Although the union officials had realized thousands
of dollars from the strike fund and there was more money coming in
every day from unions throughout the country, it was not as much as
their income from the Welfare Fund and so the agreement reached was
satisfying. And too, after so many years of leisure, the strain of
working a few hours every few days that had been necessitated by the
long strike enervated them and they were looking forward to the end
of the strike and a rest. And, of course, the deposits to the Welfare
Fund had been increased and its administration remained in their
control.

On December 29th, at 1:30 pm, the men once again
assembled in the hall and though they knew that the strike was over
they remained huddled by the doors while the President made the
announcement. Well men its all over. They gave in to us
one-hundredper-cent-right-down-the-line. The clique cheered. A few
others joined in. Its been a long hard fight but we showed them what
a strong union can do. A few more cheers. The President of local 392
told how hard he and the other members of the negotiating committee
worked; reminded them what ratbastards the company men were;
expressed his thanks and the appreciation of all the men for the fine
job done by Brother Harry Black; and told them that the real credit
goes to them, the rank and file of the union, the heart of the
organization, who walked the picket line in fair weather and foul,
who gave their time and blood that the union could win and help
secure an honorable contract. He then told them about the contract
and the additional monies to the Welfare Fund and how their jobs were
secure; avoiding telling them that they would be assessed $10 each
month for the next year—about half of their increase in pay—to
build up the now depleted strike fund. When he finished he asked for
a vote on the new contract, announced the ayes had it and so the
contract was ratified. The clique hootedandhollered. A few others
joined them. They were to start work the next day. As the men ambled
out of the hall, the officials walking among them, slapping backs and
smiling, a recording of auld lang syne was played.

When the meeting was over Harry called Regina then
hopped in a cab and went up to her apartment. When he paid the
cabdriver and started up the stairs he realized that he could no
longer afford to take cabs back and forth, that he could not spend
money the way he had while there was a strike. He would no longer be
on the union payroll and have an expense sheet. He realized he would
not have much money for himself after the rent was paid and he gave
Mary a few bucks for food. Regina opened the door and he went in. You
know you awakened me from a simply delightful sleep. I dont know why
you had to call so early. I just came from a meetin. The strikes
over. O you and that strike. Im going to shower, dress and put a face
on then we can go to Marys for a few drinks and after that you can
take me to dinner and perhaps the cinema if I should happen to be in
the mood. I—I ... a dont know if I can go ta Marys—Regina strode
briskly to the bathroom. The water splashed suddenly against the side
of the shower stall —maybe we could just hangaround here—I cant
hear a word youre saying—Harry still standing in the middle of the
room —I thought maybe we could eat here, huh?—Regina was
singing—Harry stopped talking yet remained standing in the middle
of the room. 20 minutes later Regina turned the water off, opened the
bathroom door and started arranging her hair. Yalook pretty Regina.
She continued combing her hair, humming and occasionally singing a
line or two. Be a dear and get my brush in the bedroom. Harry moved
from his spot, picked up the brush from the dresser, walked to the
bathroom door and handed the brush to Regina. She grabbed it and
started brushing. Harry stayed in the doorway watching. O Harry, for
heavens sake, dont stand there like that. Go away. Go on. Go. Shoo.
He backed away and sat on the couch, the couch he had sat on with her
many times. I know what. You can take me to Stewarts for a seafood
dinner. I adore the place and they have the most divine shrimp and
lobster. She went to the bedroom and Harry got up and followed her. I
dont have enough money for Stewarts. What do you mean you dont have
enough money. Go get some. And please dont hang over me like that.
You bug me. Harry backed away and sat on the bed. I cant get anymore.
I only got a few bucks. O dont be silly Harry. Of course you can get
some more. Go get my kerchief from the bathroom. Harry got it. He
stood behind her for a second then grabbed her and started kissing
her neck. Regina squirmed and pushed him away. Dont be such a bore.
Cant we stay here tanight. I/ll go get a couple a bottles a beer. O
what are you talking about. We dont have ta go out. We could stay
here, huh? O, Harry sometimes you are just too much. I have no
intention of staying here tonight or any night. Now will you please
leave me alone. But I dont have enough money ta go out and Id like ta
stay here and we could have a few beers and nobodyd botha us and I
aint so hungry and anyway we could get some sandwiches and—O for
gods sake will you please stop babbling like a baby. Im going out
this evening. If you have money you can meet me at Marys, if not
please do not annoy me any further. Now please leave so I can dress.
But we dont have ta—she shoved him in front of her toward the door.
Really Harry. You are getting hysterical. She opened the door and
shoved him out into the hall. The door slammed shut. Harry stood for
a long time, feeling a swelling behind his eyes—how long since he
had felt it? It almost felt new yet he knew it was not—then left
the building and rode the subway to Marys.